Disabling Seasions But Keeping its Stuff - Want to disable weather or make plants in season year-round? You can do so with my new Seasons Tuner Mod Improving Sims 4: The past month, I've spent every day tinkering The Sims 4, making quality of life improvements, gameplay changes, and new difficulty settings for the game. If you'd like to learn more about my project, visit the post on Patreon where you can download it now.
The Sims 4 Relationships
Making Best Friends, Socializing, and Interacting with Other Sims
'Call Over' is helpful. This is a good way to make Acquaintances and meet new Sims
This Guide to Relationships in The Sims 4 will teach you how conversation between Sims works, how they build Friendships/Romances, and what you can do to speed up that process. I'll provide tips for learning a Sim's Traits and getting the Friendship bar to move faster in the positive direction as well as useful Socials for making Friends. We'll also list most of the Friendly relationship status, and about how far you need the bar to be in order to get to each relationship level. If you're just looking for Cheats to make Friends, you'll find those here. We will focus on Friendships for now, and expand on Romance with this guide and Woohoo/Mess Around for Teens here. If you can make Friends, you can definitely find a Boyfriend or Girlfriend for your Sim, so reading either of these should help.
Relationship Basics
Friendship, Romance Bars and Decay For each Sim you know, there will be a Friendship (green) and Romantic (pink) bar that indicate your selected Sim's standing with the target. The further these go to the right, the more options you'll get for interacting with them. When your Sim doesn't interact with another for days, you will see these bars go down. A past friend or old flame will be easier to build back up to where it was before, as you should have more options.
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Mortimer is Chatting with Beverly, Daryl, and Devon. Big groups can happen at Parties
Conversation When Sims use Socials, they are drawn into a Chat. Each of the Sims can use a social and draw another in, to the point that your Sim may be interacting with a number of them. The Sims will Chat amongst one another in between uses of Socials. Chatting in groups seems to just be a nice visual trick to make the game more immersive. Despite how it looks, Sims only gain or lose Relationship when one of them uses a Social Interaction on another, and the gains/losses are between those two Sims. These can either be accepted as friendly, kind or taken as annoying, upsetting, etc. The exception are Jokes and group-specific socials like those that can impact everyone around. Otherwise, this holds true for 90% of other interactions.
Families have Relationships, too. The Goths are all 'Friends'.
The + and ++ you see are small or large gains. One - or two - - signify a drop. This much is obvious, but the relationship gains being directly tied to the socials used by the Sims are noticeable when in a group. So, you shouldn't just stand there and do nothing when in a chat, and are likely to be disappointed by the results if you let other Sims do most of the talking. The other Sims can use mean or flirty socials that are rejected and cause drops in relationship with one another, and their use of interactions are not as thoughtful as yours can be. Be the center of attention and queue up multiple socials on your target future pal.
Friendship Levels For this one, I'll focus on the positive relationships in The Sims 4, although you can certainly make enemies. It's just much easier to make an enemy than a friend - just be mean. If you want to declare an enemy, the option will be under mean when the bar drops low enough. When the green bar progresses to the right, the relationship between your selected Sim and the target is building. When it reaches the following percentages, you are at that Relationship Level:
Acquaintances - 0-39%
Friend - 40%-59%
Good Friend - 60%+
The ability to be Best Friends is unlocked once you hit 80% with another Sim. You must ask the Sim if they want to be Best Friends, but they'll usually accept if they like your Sim.
As Sims gain standing with one another, more options open up when visiting in their home. Sims who are in a romantic relationship and achieve Boyfriend/Girlfriend status can freely sleep, clean, and cook meals in the other Sim's home without being rude. There is a lot more to what interactions are available, however...
Social Interaction Availability The availability of many Social Interactions depends on several factors: your Sim's Traits, the Relationship Level between the two Sims, the Emotion of your Sim, and the Tone of Conversation. This is most noticeable with Romantic Interactions, as they start with minor flirting and progress to allow passionate kissing. Some Socials are age or relationship restricted as well - like not being able to flirt with Children or a sibling, and having extra chit-chat options with Neighbors like 'Complain about Local Youths', Changes in the Neighborhood, and Property Values.
The Awkward Encounter limits the Sim's available Romance Interactions
Conversation Context Using several Social Interactions in a row and having them accepted, your Sim's conversation options will expand or, if negative, grow meaner and more direct. The Context is another big factor in what determines the Social Interactions you can use on a Sim. These are various terms to describe how two Sims, or even a group of Sims, are interacting. All friendly chats start at Casual Discussion, but can quickly change. The Social options under each menu expand or disappear depending on this tone. Here are the various conversation levels in each category:
Friendly Conversations Being Outgoing or Happy can help a lot with Friendly interactions. It's easier to be Friendly when in a good mood! The Gregarious Trait may help boost success rates, as will each few levels in Charisma you gain. In fact, Charisma helps with every positive Social Interaction:
Casual Discussion - a baseline Context
Pleasant Conversation - when several Friendly socials have gone well
Funny Conversations
When using Interactions under the Funny menu, you will see the following. Having the Goofball Trait may help boost success rates, while the Playful Moodlets you get will surely help. Having a higher level in the Comedy Skill will unlock more Social Interactions:
Hilarious Repartee - Many jokes have landed well
Funny Conversation - a Joke or two and some good laughs
Boring Conversation - Funny gone wrong or using the same social 3x or more.
Tedious - Multiple Funny Interactions fail
Insufferably Tedious - Many jokes have failed, so change the conversation up
Romantic Conversations
When using Social Interactions under the Romantic menu, you will see these Contexts. Having the Romantic Trait can boost success rates and give you more interactions to use, as will having a small amount of Friendship with the Sim's Romantic Interest:
Suggestive Conversation - a Romance Social has been accepted
Amorous Exchange - The Romantic exchange is going well, keep it up!
Steamy Exchange - Multiple Romance Socials have hit the mark
Awkward Encounter - Things are going wrong. This can happen to other Sims when witnessing others Romance, particularly their parents. Be Funny or change to Friendly if things are going badly for your Sim.
Very Awkward Encounter - This Sim is not into yours, so stop it with the Pick-Up Lines
Mean Socials or Bad Conversations Being Hot Headed or Mean may make your Sim deliver more potent mean Interactions, while also opening up new Socials. Evil Sims will enjoy the suffering. If a Mischievous Sim's interactions aren't taken as funny, you may also see these:
Unpleasant Conversation - Failed or Mean Social dipped Conversation Context slightly into the negative
Offensive Conversation - Multiple failed Friendly, Mischievous, or Mean Socials
Abhorrent Conversation - Numerous Mean Socials have sunk the conversation, and likely the Relationship
The Relationship Panel can be used to contact Sims, too!
Maintaining Relationships Look to the Relationship Panel (Hotkey 'R') to see the selected Sim's Relationships. You will notice they decay. A little phone call won't do in this game to keep friendships alive; you need to have that Sim over, hang out at their house, or meet at a public place. Doing things in your own home is usually good, because you have full access to cook, and things like that. In short, socializing in person is the shortest path to Friendship in The Sims 4.
Making Friends in The Sims 4
Mortimer takes a Selfie with his new Best Friend
Unless your Sim is Gregarious (from Social Aspirations) or has a high level of Charisma, it seems a little more challenging to make friends in the Sims 4 than it was in the past. I think this is somewhat due to a higher Social rejection rate (likely based on Traits and Emotions) and the system requiring a little more thought. For the average Sim, standing about in a group and letting other Sims use Socials is not going to lead to fast Friendships very often. The Sims are not talking with just your Sim, but interacting amongst one another. It's better to focus on a target or spread out your Socials and be in charge of the Chat session. Here are some pointers:
Explore My Mods! Color Picker for Builders, Seasons Tuner, Dine Out Reloaded and a Gameplay Overhaul! Like other modders, I've been working to make The Sims 4 a better game. Check out my many mods here!
Building a Friendship is easier when the other Sim is in a good Mood. Emotion matters!
Gauge the Situation The better your Sim's mood, the better they perform in social situations. In fact, sometimes your Sim is reacting negatively to Social Interactions other Sims use on them. The other Sim's mood matters as well. You can see the mood a Sim is in based on the color of the bar or by hovering over the conversation panel in the top-center. If a Sim is in a bad mood, Socials are slightly more likely to be rejected - especially romantic ones. If your Sim doesn't even know the other Sim, don't immediately start with things like friendly hugs or blowing kisses. Get the bar toward 20-30% before you try it, and go back to what works if that doesn't.
Work on that Charisma Charisma has a particularly potent effect on Socialization in the game. These Sims can easily win over another, especially when they are happy, primarily because it makes certain Social Interactions available earlier in Conversation. They also get a few powerful Social Interactions that are unique to Charisma. Check the Charisma Guide to learn more.
The Buildup & Learning Sim Traits Pay attention to how your Socials are performing. If a Sim doesn't like something, they're not likely to enjoy you repeating it. If multiple Funny interactions fail, switch to Friendly. Use 'Get to Know' and 'Discuss Interests' to learn a Sim's traits. Some of these will help you find Socials that will work well - especially when Traits match. Sometimes a Sim's Trait will come out in their personality, so pay attention to your notifications. Two Bookworms or Creative Sims will have plenty of success using those types of Socials.
Avoiding Repetition & Finding what Works Repeating the same social is going to cause a Sim to get irritated. You can do a Social 2x in a row, but a third can make the Conversation boring. It's better to rotate through some of the socials that you know work. 'Get to Know' and 'Discuss Interests' are not going to fail as often as Gossip and Hug early in a Relationship. Use Socials that don't seem too forward. They seem to have scores that determine how potent they are, as well as the likelihood of rejection decreasing as the Friendship or Romance progresses.
Try 'Ask to Hang Out' and 'Travel Here With' If you meet a Sim at the Park or Gym, you can keep them around a bit longer by building a little into Acquaintances and then asking them to Hang Out while the conversation is at Pleasant. You may also hook them for a while by asking them to Travel somewhere with you, if they're about to leave. This is really handy when you want to build a relationship with the target and you want to avoid them walking off. They may start to, but you can grab them with another Interaction and resume the chat. Sims have very short attention spans. If you want to take them somewhere else, use 'Invite To...'.
Utilize Trait-Specific Interactions, Emotions, and Skill Unlocks Trait-specific interactions can be quite powerful, as well as those that are unlocked through Skills. As your Sim displays knowledge of a Skill or exhibits their interests, they can easily gain friends even if they do not share those interests. I found my Bookworm interactions working well, as long as those interactions related to liking Art. When a Sim is inspired, they may share their crazy idea. A lot of Sims will take this as a good thing.
Mentoring Sims Mentoring Sims at the Gym is one powerful interaction that players report helping them to make Friends. To be safe, you can Introduce your Sim first. You may also ask other Sims to Mentor your own, so they gain Fitness Skill faster and can eventually Mentor others. A few other Skills, like Guitar, Piano, and Violin may allow your Sim to Mentor, but those are only really useful on Sims you have control over within your own Household.
Chatting on the Computer A slow, but steady gain of Friendship can be made by Chatting at the Computer. Use 'Chat With' to select a specific Sim and know where the effort is going. This is a very reliable, if not quick, way to make Friends or at least maintain relationships.
Watching TV together is fun and fills the Social need while also making Friendships
Multitask! Playing Chess or Cards, eating a meal, watching television, and just relaxing on a comfy couch are all things that Sims can do together to improve their Moods while also talking. Doing these activities together will build Relationship so long as the other isn't grumpy. To work a conversation into a group activity, just use one Social on the other Sim after you, for example, turn on the TV. Use 'Call to Meal' after cooking to get another Sim to eat with yours. Your Sim's Fun, Hunger, and Social needs will go up, while the Relationship bar should tick slowly right as you use the occasional Interaction.
Use Emotional Auras and Decor to Your Advantage Looking to make a boyfriend or girlfriend? Use Flirty Paintings and invite over the Sim you want to woo. The game's Career Rewards offer many means of influencing your Sims' Emotions, but also those of your guest. Decor itself will help Sims to be Happy, which has a huge impact on how accepting they are of friendly or romantic advances. Decorate an area and use it for Socializing. This can have very powerful results.
Realize some Sims are Hard to Befriend Some Sims just don't seem to want friends, and will reject almost any kind advance thrown at them. If you get in a situation where nothing seems to work, you'd be best moving on to another Sim just as you might in reality.
Raw Data DarkWalker posted some scores for Mood, Relationship, and Charisma impacts on Socialization. What we can learn from this is how Charisma affects Funny, Romantic, and Mischievous Interactions' likelihood of success, and that positive and negative moods have predictable outcomes - making it easier or harder to make an interaction a 'success'. Being Happy has the highest boost for Friendly interactions, Flirty Romance, and Confident for Funny. All the positive Emotions will boost these types of Interactions, and also give you more Social Interactions to use. Being Confident or Happy is great when you're shooting for Friends, but Energized won't hurt. Achieving each level of Relationship status with another Sim will also make Interactions more likely to succeed.
Cheat to Make Friends in Sims 4 The following Cheat will help your Sim to make Friends with any Sim that your Sim already knows. Open the Cheat Console and type:
modifyrelationship yoursim targetsim amount (anywhere from 1-100) Friendship_Main
So if your Sim's name was Alex Pinkman and the target was Mortimer Goth, you'd type:
modifyrelationship Alex Pinkman Mortimer Goth 90 Friendship_Main
This would make Mortimer Goth a Best Friend for your Sim. You can modify any Sims' Friendship status this way.
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Hey I was wondering how I can make a boyfriend/girlfriend into a BFF because my sim has the soulmate aspiration and I'm trying to complete the "be married to your bff". Their friendship bar is full and they are best friends but I don't see a "bff" action. Help please
Hey I need help and I wasn't sure where to ask you. I just moved out one of my sims by having her ask her girlfriend to move in and then selecting that they both move out. I thought it would bring me to the option of selecting their house ect but instead they just both left and my sim that moved out - Daphne- disappeared from her old household. How do I find daphne and her gf and move them in somewhere?! Please tell me I didn't lose her forever :(
Options>Manage Worlds>Manage Households and then look for your sims in the menu there. Both the sims should appear in the menu and you can then move them back into a house from there as you wish.
You need to raise the friendship level a little and the romantic relationship a lot until the option to get engaged appears. Once your two sims are engaged then they can marry instantly (elope) or plan a social even (phone) and hold a wedding party to get married. There are no teen pregnancies in the vanilla game but mods out there they you could try.
Hey Everyone out there, I just wanted to say thanks for the helps and quick tips. and esp. Carl for making this guide. I've been playing Sims 4 since it first came out and I didn't know a lot of what's in this handy dandy guide (gardening info.). That's some dedication and i appreciate it. with that said i have a question maybe it can be answered or i might need to call this one in. (we'll see) i purchased sims 4 on to different computers, one works but the other one, it will act like it loading but then kick you out to the main menu or out of the game entirely. I've tried to purchase another copy but it doesn't work. got any suggestions. or do i need to contact someone? thanks
I suggest you contact EA Help as a purchased copy should always work regardless on what PC you are using as long as the machine meets at the very least the required specs. How To Contact EA Help Best of luck as this really should not be happening for you.
I've been using this cheat for a while now but I'm having trouble making it work for sims with a Three part name such as: Joaquin Le Chien and J Huntington lll. Can you teach me how to make them work?
I haven't been able to make them work with sims that have three part names. I have been taking those sims into cas with the fulledit.mode cheat, changing their names and then using the relationship cheat.
what do i do if my husband suddenly became brother?? is there a de-brother cheat/any other method that preserves the marriage instead of destroying the relationship completely?
Using the cheat 'cas.fulleditmode on' you should be able to take your sims into CAS and edit their relationships from there. Remember to enable testingcheats on first. Cheats Guide
There is a big at the moment where this can occur. Perhaps this is what you are experiencing? Proposal Bug - EA Bug Report Thread If it is, adding a 'me too' helps bring it to the developers attention.
I hired a butler after installing the new vintage expansion and my Sim started a romance with them, but I couldn't progress the relationship beyond a certain point while they were employed. I fired them, but now I can't do anything except call or text them! I can't invite them over, and I can't break off the relationship except to let it deteriorate. I also can't seem to use the modifyrelationship cheat to any effect. What do I do?
Marrying an employee seems to be bugged or just not possible. I guess you could delete the ex-Butler using the Manage Worlds menu. But be warned, if you have current clubs, entering Manage Worlds can delete all the club points and perks and reset members to the default 6. There are quite a few bugs in the game right now that need a fix asap! Some of the Current Bugs
My Sims weer colleagues at work - science career. Ons of them found another job because the marriage was impossible. The Guy was the girl's Boss. She has another career now to fix this but they still cannot het married for the Same reason. Any Help please?
There are a lot of bugs right now which is frustrating for sure. Sometimes you're lucky and your save file can seem to be charmed and not get any other times not so lucky and just becomes a hot mess quite frankly. Add cc and/or mods into the mix and bugs are just part of the experience I guess.
I have two male roomates (A and B) and then their neighbor, a girl (C). They all became good friends and naturally it developed to romance, between all of them. A started dating C and then started dating his roomate B. Then B was already with A and then started dating C too. They are all dating each other! Their green and pink bars are all up to max. I was afraid of them asking each other to be boyfriend/girlfriend and make the other pair break up. They are all in love with each other, but I still didnt try to put them all in one room beause, again, i'm afraid it will spoil things for them. So my question is, is this possible? They are in love and I wish it wouldnt en up bad. Can SIMS be in a relationship with more than one person?
Sims can have as many gf/bf as they want but unless they all have the Player Reward trait from completing the Serial Romantic aspiration then as soon as A sees B with C (or whatever other combination) there will be jealousy/cheating and relationships will take a negative hit. Without mods a sims can only be 'faithful' to one sim at a time and can only be engaged and married to one sim at a time.
Dear Carl. I have 2 YA- when they were teens they exchanged promise rings. Now they don't have the option to get married or engaged, but the sims knows they are YA because they can WooHoo and try for baby. is that a glitch or a bug or being promised is kind of getting married?
Yes this is caused by having the teens be promised to each other. Ask to just be friends then rebuild the relationship back up. This will unlock the marriage options for these two sims.
Hi! So my sim has developed a romantic relationship with Travis Scott. Both the friendship bar and the romantic one is at 100%, and my sim has three children with him. For almost a sim week he has been staying constantly at my house, not going to work, eating Food from my fridge and using my facilities. For some reason the option called "ask to leave" has disappeared, so he is staying at my house as if he lives there (which he doesn't). He and my sim are not married, not even engaged, and i have no possibility to Control him. Although it's fine having him there to take care of my toddlers and stuff, it annoys me a lot because the time goes by slowly when my sims are busy, or I just don't want him there. Do you have any experience with something like this, or any tips?
It's as known glitch. Open Bug Report. There doesn't seem to be any easy work-around right now either. Maybe try to lock the doors to 'Everybody except household members' when he is outside (take him there by using the interaction 'chat here'.
I have not been able to ever get the relationship cheats to work with sims that have 3 word names. I have to take them into CAS using the cas.fulleditmode on cheat and change their names before it will work for me. Guide to Cheats
My sim has two names in the first name slot (like the name Mary Anne) how would I modify their relationship with someone, I've tried almost everything to put their name in but it won't work :(
As I said in my post above I have not been able to ever get the relationship cheats to work with sims that have 3 word names. I have to take them into CAS using the cas.fulleditmode on cheat and change their names before it will work for me. Guide to Cheats
My two sims were dating when they were teens. Now they've both aged up to young adult, they're not considered dating anymore, and I cant even ask her to be my sims girlfriend or propose. Any way to fix this bug or cheat their relationship?
It is a bug and usually caused by the teens having been promised to each other. Break the relationship up by asking to just be friends and then when all the negative moodlets have gone build the relationship back up.
You can make as many BFF's as you want but can only have one declared as a BFF at a time as the first one will drop off. The relationship will still be maxed but the title BFF will no longer apply.
I just noticed yesterday that when my 2 sims, that are supposed soulmates, were flirting when one another on their own, it was throwing up friendship points instead of the romantic ones they had been getting, so I tried logging into an older story that I knew the sims had been together happy for a while and the same thing happened. Did they make a change to this or is it a bug anyone knows of, or are my sims not as happy as they led me to believe, lol. Thanks for any help. :)
Thank you so much for the reply, it must be a bug because I do not use any mods just the game without them. I only noticed after the latest update so it may just be a bug. Thanks tho :)
You're welcome. I try to answer every comment asap I guess as long as your two sims have both friendship and romance meters maxed it shouldn't matter. I haven't got this happening in my game but that doesn't mean it is not a bug as some games just do not get all bugs. Just in case you haven't already delete the localthumbcache.package file from your The Sims 4 folder. This helps with any cache issues/glitches which this might be.
I have a problem in The Sims Castaway Stories. My sim can not have more relationships with other sims than 59 points. when my sim is doing interaction with other sims and it is positive the relationship bar stop at 59points
My Sims name is Jerrie Anne Phoenix, okay, and I want her to be bestfriends with Alexander Goth. I tried the cheat but it didn't work. How would I write it out? (incase I typed it wrong)
I have never been able to get this cheat to work with sims that have 3-word names. Try changing her name in CAS by dropping off the 'Anne' and then the cheat should work.
Okay I don't know what to call it so I'm just going to say the friend bar at the top. I've never met this guy and the bar just stayed there. It's really bothering me. I notice when I talk to my other sim it pops up there with the other guy but he never goes away. Anyway to fix this problem please let me know. It's bothering me so much. Thank you
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The Sims 4 Seasons expansion now has options! Want to disable weather or make plants in season year-round? You can do so with my new Seasons Tuner Mod
Disable Seasons individually
Always Sunny! Set to Base Game Weather
Grow Year Round - Make Plants Always in Season!
Healthy Year Round - No more Winter twigs
Disable Color Changes - on ALL Plants & Trees
Disable Fall Leaves
Disable Ground Snow
Keep the Stuff You Paid For!
A Deeper Game
The past month, I've spent every day tinkering The Sims 4, making quality of life improvements, gameplay changes, and new difficulty settings for the game. If you'd like to learn more about my project, visit the post on Patreon where you can download it now.
I have much more to come, since you can actually write a few guides about this pack!
Calling all Blender Users
Blender has been incredibly useful in video production, so I made my own Physics and Simulation Improvement Addon that lumps a ton of unique tools into one compact interface.
Sims 4 Snowy Escape
The Sims 4 Snowy Escape launches November 13, 2020 and my coverage has started. Until I get my review ready, you can learn about the following:
There is a new platform tool in The Sims 4. There's also a new Sentiments system, but it'll take some time to create a guide to that. Players can also use rental lots in any world now by changing lot types of builds in manage worlds.
Best Mods in Sims 4
I've created a massive List of The Best Mods in The Sims 4 that should be very helpful to new players and those who have not yet explored modding and how much it can do for your gameplay.
Readers who use adblock or those who'd like to thank me for my efforts can now pledge $1/$5 monthly via Patreon. This helps a lot with server costs and provides some stability for my business.
I now have a guide page to Tiny Living Stuff where you can learn about Murphy Beds, the new death, as well as the lot bonuses you'll receive if you manage to keep the size of your lot down with this new pack's Tiny Home Lot Type.
Let's Play Playlist
New I now have a guide to Making Super Sims in The Sims 4. Look for a text version within the next 72h. It won't have THAT much more info but it will help out as a checklist.
This was inspired by a series, "Let's Play a Super Sim" in which I start at toddler and gradually take on the major bonuses. Here's a link to each part for people who are interested. You can also see the Let's Play as a Playlist on Youtube.
The Sims 4 Discover University has been announced for November 15 for PC/Mac and December 17 for Xbox and Playstation 4 consoles. Click to learn more about the pack, see my summary of the livestream or read our FAQs below.
Comments (63)
There are no teen pregnancies in the vanilla game but mods out there they you could try.
How To Contact EA Help
Best of luck as this really should not be happening for you.
Cheats Guide
Proposal Bug - EA Bug Report Thread
If it is, adding a 'me too' helps bring it to the developers attention.
There are quite a few bugs in the game right now that need a fix asap!
Some of the Current Bugs
Regard Bill
Their green and pink bars are all up to max. I was afraid of them asking each other to be boyfriend/girlfriend and make the other pair break up. They are all in love with each other, but I still didnt try to put them all in one room beause, again, i'm afraid it will spoil things for them.
So my question is, is this possible? They are in love and I wish it wouldnt en up bad. Can SIMS be in a relationship with more than one person?
I have 2 YA- when they were teens they exchanged promise rings. Now they don't have the option to get married or engaged, but the sims knows they are YA because they can WooHoo and try for baby. is that a glitch or a bug or being promised is kind of getting married?
Guide to Cheats
Guide to Cheats