All the Good Girls go to Heaven

[MoonsAreBlue]

Wow, just wow. That last line really shocked me. I can't imagine what will happen next.

[loveSims]

Awesome update! Cayden look so obsessed. I hope she will be ok.

[WickedSimmer87]

I totally agree with everyone, your storytelling skills are awesome. Leaving cliffhangers and small hints in the story, plus the last line really makes one want to check up on new updates for more 

Ive bookmarked this from the beginning  Dont worry !

[ApplesApplesApples]

Chapter 11

Another phone call has interrupted me. I answer slowly, still not sure which body I'm inhabiting--my own, the seventy-year-old Aliyah, or the nineteen-year-old one.

"Hello?" I say.

"Hello."

I sigh. I haven't heard that voice in a long time. "Milo. You haven't called me in forty-five years."

"I've been trying to reach Mae. She left a message on my machine asking if I would like to come to Bindi's funeral. I wanted to tell her that I can't."

"Why not? Shopping spree with your new wife?"

"My son has his first show. Off-Broadway. I promised him I'd go."

"Oh." I pause. "Well, congratulate him for me. I'm sure Mae will understand. The living are more important than the dead."

"I'm sorry about Bindi. She was a good woman."

"Yeah. Mae's torn up about it. That's the only reason she wanted her father with her." I know Milo's detected the chill in my voice, because he doesn't answer for a moment.

"I'm sorry I can't be there. If it were anything else I'd skip it to be there. But Mae is strong; she'll get through it. She reminds me of you."

"That's great, Milo. Have fun at the show. Don't call me again." I hang up and throw the phone across the room. But I know it isn't really Milo's fault. He just wanted to protect Mae. He did what any father would have done. What I would have done in his place. That doesn't make me hate him any less. Maybe it's better he won't be coming after all. I thought I could deal with him. I'm reconsidering that.

Breathe. Calm down. Think about that warm and comforting past where the worst things haven't happened yet. Where Cayden is with me. Where I haven't broken my promise yet.

"I think I finally know what this statue means," I said.

"Hmm. Really?"

"Yes. It's a man carrying a rock."



Cayden grinned. "Congratulations. You win your man-carrying-a-rock poster and a rock-carrying man bobblehead collectible."

I rubbed my eyes. "I'm tired of looking at numbers. Let's leave the rest for later." We'd been going over bank statements, bills, and all sorts of papers my parents' accountant had sent over for hours now.

"Okay. What do you want to do?"

"Let's go outside. I haven't been for a run on the hills since I came back." A knock came at the door. "Wait a moment." I went to answer. It was one of my parents' friends coming to tell me someone had found the remains of my mother's toy poodle by the road near where the car had crashed. Apparently it had flown out the window at the impact. The considerate woman had brought it with her in a cardboard box that had once held noodles, judging by the logo and letters printed on the side.

"Aren't you going to take it?" she asked.

"Just... do whatever you want to do with it. Bury it somewhere." I didn't want to have to deal with any more death, not even the death of the little dog I'd never even met before.

"But don't you want to bury it in your backyard? I'm sure your mother would have wanted it there."

"I guess she might have, but in case you haven't noticed she isn't around anymore. Good day." I slammed the door in her face.

"If you've already repented..." said Cayden from the archway that led to the staircase.

"I haven't," I snapped. "Why are they bothering me about a dog now?" He waited. I stood watching the lady walking away across the bridge and through the gate. She'd made it almost out of sight when I said, "I shouldn't have been so rude. Maybe my mother really did want the dog buried in our backyard."

"I'll catch up with her," said Cayden. "I'll bury it, too, if you want." He took off after her.

I sat on the couch and flipped through a few channels, barely registering what they were about before I turned the television off again. I listened until I heard Cayden's footsteps coming back. He poked his head in.

"Where would I find a shovel?"

"Tool shed. It's over..."

"Next to the pool. I know, Aliyah."

I went outside a while later. Cayden was finishing with the digging, having made a nice-sized hole next to the big oak.

"You want to get it out?" he asked.

I knelt down and gently opened the flaps of the box. Cayden leaned over to look inside as well.

"It's small," he said.

"It stinks," I said.

"I made too big a hole. Here, wear these."

I slipped on gardening gloves and slid my hands under the little body. It weighed nothing at all. I lowered it into the hole and Cayden covered it up. He went to put the shovel and the gloves away, and found me still in the same position when he came back.

"Are you okay?" he asked, kneeling down in front of me.

"I'm fine."

"You sound like you're about a mile away from here."

"When does it end, Cayden?"

"Do you want to punch a tree? That helped me. Or we could find someone you don't like and punch them."

"I don't think so." I picked myself up and wandered back into the house.

"Don't you want to go for a run on the hills?"

"No. I think I'll just lie down for a while. That made me kind of queasy."

I curled up on top of the bedspread, watching the overwhelming pink all around me. Maybe Cayden was onto something and it really was a little too much. Maybe I'd have it redecorated. Scrape off the wallpaper, change the upholstery... something in a dark, soothing green, perhaps.

I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and lifted my head to look. My mother stood next to my dresser, watching me. My heart tripped over itself and forgot to beat for a moment until I realized I'd just seen Cayden's brown coat hanging from the peg. But my heart and my head pounded uncomfortably as I lowered my head back onto the pillow.

After three weeks of having him in the house with me, following me practically everywhere I went, I didn't enjoy being alone. I'd grown used to the security of having him there.

I tried to drift off but my eyes refused to stay shut, so I went out in search of Cayden. Maybe he had a distraction in mind. He always seemed to. I ran into the maid.

"Oh, Aliyah," she said. "I meant to tell you a policeman came by earlier, while you were at the supermarket. He wanted to talk to Cayden."



"Did he say why?" I asked.

"No, he didn't."

"Did he say anything at all other than that?"

"No, not that I recall."

I found Cayden downstairs watching TV.



"The maid said a policeman was by earlier wanting to talk to you."

"Really?" he said without taking his eyes off the screen.

"Why do you think he wanted to talk to you?"

"A little mix-up. I've solved it."

"What little mix-up?"

"Just something. It's not important."

I got between him and the TV. "Remember when we promised not to lie to each other?"

He looked up at me. I couldn't decipher his expression. "Yes. I remember."

"Cayden, have you gotten into trouble again?"

"It was a little thing, Aliyah. I told you. It's solved now."

"I know your face better than my own. You can't look at me and lie without me knowing. You've broken your promise, Cayden, and what's worse is I don't know how far it goes."

He stood up, turned off the television, and didn't answer.

"What were you in trouble for?"

He met my eyes again. "For stealing."

"Why would you be stealing? You've got your job in computer security now. You told me how much they pay you. You don't need..." I read the answer on his face before I finished talking. "You don't work for a law firm, do you?"

"Aliyah..." He stepped toward me.

I held up my hands to stop him. "No. Explain yourself."



"Explain what? I lied because I knew you wouldn't like it if I told you the truth. I did have that job for a few weeks while I was still in college. Long-distance. Then I got tired. I left back doors for myself and quit. Now taking from the law firm is easy; I'm getting more than I would ever have gotten from them otherwise. Yesterday I made a mistake with the encryption and my IP address must have showed up for them. It's solved now."

I pressed the base of my palms into my eyes. "I can't believe this."

"I'm sorry I lied to you."

"Do you know what you did?" I let my hands drop, giving a strangled, half-hysterical laugh. "You proved them all right."

"Who?"

"Everyone who said you were going to grow up to be a criminal. You got angry when they said it or even implied it, and look at you now. And to think I was proud of you. I should've known better. You'll never change. You'll always be the same stupid little boy who thinks it's cool to steal, because you're so smart that no one can catch you. I never thought I'd say this, Cayden, but you're worse than your father."

He crossed the distance between us, his nostrils wide in almost animal-like fury. For a second I really thought he'd hit me. Instead he closed his eyes, breathed deeply, opened them again, and reached out to touch my cheek. I drew back.

"Don't touch me. Don't talk to me. I'll be in my room. Leave me alone until I decide to come out. Then we'll talk."

I went upstairs and took a long, hot shower. I didn't get out until I was sure all my tears had been washed down the drain and that I'd fulfilled the need to sob and slam my fists against the wall. Then I went out onto my balcony and sat looking over the grounds, ignoring the slight chill that came as darkness fell.

I heard the doorbell at around seven and went down to answer the door, hoping whoever it was would be brief. Cayden was nowhere to be seen. Through the glass doors I recognized Milo Terrence from Laurie's group.

"Milo!" I said with a genuine smile, opening the door. "How are you?"

"I'm fine. I heard about your parents. I wanted to come and see if you were okay."

"Thank you. I'm doing better." I was getting used to lying through my teeth.

"Can I... come in?" he said hesitantly, as I didn't invite him.

"If you don't mind let's step outside. I've been cooped up all day."

We went around to the side of the house and talked for a while. Milo caught me up with all the goings-on back at the university. Darren and Pippa had broken up, but Darren had started dating Laurie and Pippa had started dating Francis again, so Milo had started to feel like a third wheel. Classes were good, the professors were all good. Professor Hutchinson asked after me a couple of times.

"So you're living here all by yourself?" asked Milo. "Aren't you lonely?"

"No, a friend is staying with me to keep me company. I don't think I'd be able to stand the silence."

"When are you coming back to college? You are coming back, right?"

"I, um..." I cast about for an answer. In that moment I realized that Cayden was watching us out the living room window.



"You know what, Milo? I've got supper waiting. I'd invite you over, but I've got company. Maybe some other day?"

"Sure," said Milo.

"Nice seeing you." I tried to hug him but he shook my hand. I pulled myself away from the awkwardness and ran inside. Cayden had left. Maybe I'd get something from the kitchen and take it up to my room without encountering him.

But he waited for me in the dining room. "Who was that man, Aliyah?"



"A friend from school." I tried to go past him but he stopped me.

"Why didn't you invite him in? Are you ashamed of me?"

"Of course I'm ashamed of you. But that's not why I didn't invite him in."

"Why not, then?"

"You have no right to question anything I do, remember, Cayden?"

"What's his name?"

"Let me get into my own kitchen, please."

"Why didn't you want me to see him? Answer me."

"Because you're crazy!" I shouted. "Because you're crazy and a criminal, and I don't want to put my friends in danger. I don't even know who you are anymore, Cayden."

He looked down. "I know. I hardly know who I am. Please forgive me, Aliyah."



"I was going to eat up in my room. Are you going to let me get some food or are you going to let me starve?"

He sat at the table, letting my get by. He didn't look at me when I went back out again carrying a tray of microwaved leftovers. And I didn't look back at him as I climbed the stairs to my room.
Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter out. I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you for reading! And thank you for all of your comments. They make me so happy.

[alex51299]

Bad Cayden! Great chapter though, can't wait for the next one. 

[JudesSims]

Hmmm... This is getting better and better!

[loveSims]

I wonder if she will forgive him again. Great update.

[MoMoll]

Had some catching up to do, but loved every bit of it.

[ApplesApplesApples]

Chapter 12

I avoided Cayden for several days. He came up to my room once to ask me if I wanted him to leave.

"No," I said.

"Why not? You won't talk to me anymore. Why do you want me here?"

"Because I do. Do whatever you want. But I want you to stay. I can't stand the emptiness in this house if you don't."

I hardly ever saw him, true, but I felt his presence, heard him walking around downstairs. The upstairs had become my kingdom and the downstairs his. He slept in my parents' old room. It meant he had jurisdiction over the kitchen and main bathroom, but I preferred the upstairs because I had my room, the gymnasium, and he didn't have to disturb me to go in and out of the house.

About a week after our fight I found a tray with food and one of the white flowers that grew wild on the hills waiting for me at the top of the stairs. I took the food because it was real food that he'd taken the time to prepare instead of leftovers or junk food, but I threw the flower back down the stairs.

My depression grew exponentially the longer I stayed locked up. I looked out on the green of the hills and the enormity of the blue skies and I wanted desperately to be outside, to breathe real air instead of this stale substitute. I exercised maniacally on the treadmill, running for hours and hours until I dropped from exhaustion and the conveyor belt dragged me back onto the floor, where I lay for a while, touching the belt with my finger every now and then and letting it drag along it.

Cayden came up one night when I was using my father's computer to try and surf the internet. He didn't make a sound when he came up behind me, but I knew he was there. He remained silent for a while, looking over my shoulder.

"You're thinking of going back to school?" he asked.

"Maybe do a relaxed version. Just a class or so a semester, so I can live here and just go there once or twice a week."

"You don't want to go back to your old school?"

"I'd have to drive four hours. This is just half an hour away."

"That's good. You should do it."

"Any other suggestions? Any crime circle I should join?"

"None I can think of."

I turned to look at him. "What do you want, Cayden? This is my half of the house. You have the best half. Go and enjoy it."

"I came to suggest a run over that way. The sea's beautiful at this hour, and it's not too cold."

"It's the middle of the night."

"Just nine. I know you want to come, Aliyah. You're going to explode and take out the entire house with you if you don't get out soon."

I didn't have to think it over very long. I didn't know about exploding, but I'd definitely go crazy looking at the hills and being unable to enjoy them for much longer. I'd been in my nightgown for days now, and it felt surprisingly good to change back into regular clothes. Cayden waited for me to go downstairs and then followed me out the door and out the gate, pretending to be a shadow. That suited me just fine.  I could almost pretend he wasn't there.

I started out at a normal pace, enjoying the perfection of the night, so quiet and crystalline it seemed one loud noise would shatter it into a million pieces. But soon I felt myself suffused with the usual inexhaustible, pulsing energy that hardly seemed to come from me and broke into a run. Cayden followed.

I took a running jump and stumbled, nearly landing face-first in the grass. Instead I caught myself on a nearby tree and twirled until I got dizzy, letting myself fall onto my rear end and lie back to watch the sky for a moment before rolling down the hill. It was intoxicating. I felt like a girl again.

Cayden ran down after me and held a hand out to help me up, but I didn't take it. I picked myself up slowly, trying to keep my head from rolling off. Once I'd recovered I faked a little more dizziness in order to get closer to him and slap him on the shoulder.

"Tag!" I said, and ran off.



As usual, I ran much faster than him and had to wait for him to catch up in order to make the game entertaining. But he didn't tag me back when he reached me.

"I have to tell you something," he said.

"I don't want to hear it. I'm feeling so good about myself and the world right now that I almost don't want to punch you in the face, so take advantage of that. Talking is only going to bring back the fighting." I turned away from him and lifted my eyes to the sky, breathing deep. "I missed this. The air... they don't have this air out west. And the smell... they don't have that smell, either."

"The smell of freedom, right?"

"I missed this almost as much as I missed you. If I'd known how mad you were going to make me I would have missed it more."

"Aliyah..."

"No." I held out a hand to silence him. "We're not going to get into this now. Come on, I'll race you to the top of that hill."

"This will always be waiting for you to come back to it."

"Just like you."

"No, Aliyah. Not just like me."

"What do you mean?" I giggled nervously. "Are you breaking up with me?"

He took a deep breath. "Yes."

I didn't really believe him. It was just ridiculous. "Don't be silly. You can't break up with me. Remember? You said so. Chains and all that. We have our disagreements but we'll always be together. There's just no other option."

"Yes, there is. I made the decision you should have made."

"What?"

"I'm leaving. I can't stay and ruin your life. I'm bad for you."

"No. You're right for me."

"I know that." He took my hand. "Of course I'm right for you. That's a completely different thing. We were made to be together. But that doesn't mean we should be."



I shook my head. "You can't just leave, Cayden. Half of you is inside of me, and half of me is inside of you. If you leave it'll be like four halves wandering around, except the halves that are together don't form a whole. You make me crazy and furious, but I need you. You need me, too."

"Of course I need you. Aliyah..." He pressed my hand to his face. "You're my air, my water, my blood. I'd do anything to protect you from anything that could hurt you. And that's why I have to protect you from me."

"Don't..." I began.

"Do you think I steal because I need the money? I had a job. If I'd stayed with them for a few years I'd eventually be making six figures a year. They were already starting to commend me on my work. I don't steal even though it hurts other people. I steal because it hurts other people. Because the world has taken from me and I need to take back from it. I enjoy it. It gives me satisfaction. With every day that goes by I feel myself slipping farther and farther away from empathy and humanity. I don't care who I hurt. I'm not even sure I wouldn't hurt you anymore."

I yanked my hand out of his grasp. "Then stop. You can go back. It's not..."

"Don't say it's not too late. It was too late the first time I stole from your father. I'm sorry, Aliyah. I know you wanted to make me into a good person. But I'm beyond your help."

"You can't give up!" I almost shouted. "I never did! You can't do this to me."

He pulled me into his arms. I punched his chest but he didn't let go until I stopped and put my head on his shoulder, breathing to try to calm myself, tears of fury or despair soaking into his shirt. He took my face between his hands and held up my head, wiping away my tears with his thumbs.



"You're so beautiful, Aliyah."

"Hurt me. Be a criminal. Steal from anyone. Just don't leave me."

"You really want that?"

I looked at my feet. My head was getting spun around in a tornado of shock, anger, and just the slightest gust of... what if he's right? What if I'll be better off without him? What if I can have the world without this mess? What if I don't have to deal with it anymore?

"I'd take you to hell with me, Aliyah, I really would. To be with you forever, I'd do anything. But all the good girls go to heaven."

I didn't know what to say.

"You can have anything. Be an astronaut. Go to the moon. Run for president. Anything you want. The only way I can give it to you is to get out of your way."

"Cayden..."

"I know. It won't be easy for either of us. But we'll move on. Or we'll pretend to. Either way, you'll get what you've always wanted with no obstructions. And I'll get what I've always wanted in seeing you be happy. Not hurting you with the things that I've done or who I am."

I rested my head on his chest, listening to the beat of his heart. "I never doubted we'd be together. It wasn't even an issue for me. My future was your future, and to pull them apart would be like brain surgery. I never even considered a relationship with anyone else."

"What about that man who came to our house the other day? Your house."

"Milo's just a friend."

"That's the way it always starts."

"I don't want to talk about Milo now, Cayden. He's nothing."

"There will be other loves for you, Aliyah. You'll see. Not like us. What we have is impossible to replicate. It's not even love. There's no word to describe it. But you'll have love. A real, healthy relationship where you don't make each other miserable."

"Where's the fun in that?"

He chuckled and combed his fingers through my hair. I let myself be soothed by the pounding of his heart. Thump, thump, thump...

"I have to go now, Aliyah."

"Now?" I looked up at him. "But..."

"It's better. I've already packed everything."

"Where will you go? If you're at your house, right across the yard from me, every day..."

"No. I'm selling the house. I've already got buyers lined up. I've rented an apartment in town for now. I'll see what I do then."

"So what do we say? Goodbye? After all these years, just goodbye?"

"Maybe we'll see each other again someday. When we're older, and years have passed, and we're both married with children. Maybe we'll run into each other and say 'Oh, hello! It's been a long time. How are you?' And if we're lucky we'll say goodbye then and it won't hurt, not a single twinge of regret or pain."

"What am I going to do without the piece of me I gave to you?"

"Build a new one. You've always been good at inventing things." He pressed me against him and I wrapped my arms around his neck. I thought we'd never let go.



"Goodbye, Aliyah," he whispered in my ear. He pulled back from me, although we still held each other, and looked into my eyes. I could almost see it on his face, the words he would have spoken to me. Tell me to stay. ** it, Aliyah, tell me to stay and I will.

Was that it? Was that the moment where I could have made my life into something different? If I'd told him to stay, would he have? Would it have been better? Could everything have been avoided? Sometimes I think my life was an avalanche. Maybe I stepped on the wrong stones, but how could I have known what effect they would have when I did? It was inevitable in the end. The only thing I could have done differently would have been never to love Cayden in the first place. Other times I think that if I'd just loved him enough to keep him with me at that moment, if I hadn't broken my promise not to let anything get between us, then I'd be happy now. We both would be. And the pain of so many other people could have been avoided.

I didn't say it, though. Cayden pulled my hands off of his neck and broke into a sprint that carried him away from me forever. I watched him go, feeling how everything that had been in my heart drained out through a hole Cayden had taken the only fitting plug for.


Thank you very much for reading and for your comments! You're great people to write for.

[JudesSims]

OMG! What a story! Love it!

[MoonsAreBlue]

I'm tearing up... this is such a powerful story. I can't believe Cayden left. I really almost cried. You are such a talented writer.

[alex51299]

Oh no, Cayden is gone.  At least he will come back since we know they have Mae together.

[ratchie]

Oh no, Cayden is gone.  At least he will come back since we know they have Mae together.

I think all that we know for certain is that Mae is Aliyah's daughter she might be Cayden's too but we don't know that for certain.

Rachel

[wednesday21]

Wow, just wow. Loved this story. I especially liked the placement of the title.

"I'd take you to hell with me, Aliyah, I really would. To be with you forever, I'd do anything. But all the good girls go to heaven." - My eyes popped out when I read that.

[ApplesApplesApples]

Wow, just wow. Loved this story. I especially liked the placement of the title.

"I'd take you to hell with me, Aliyah, I really would. To be with you forever, I'd do anything. But all the good girls go to heaven." - My eyes popped out when I read that.

Thank you. I'd been planning that scene since I began writing the story, and was very happy to finally write it.

As to the people speculating about Mae's parentage... You know more than you think you do.