In Which Iris Buys the Fireproof Homestead Reward
Iris: What do you mean the baby won't wait? I put clean sheets on and everything!
Welcome to generation 9, Nathaniel CrumpleSteel. Be afraid, Nathaniel, be very afraid. The way Iris is going as a mother so far you'll be applying to all the orphanage projects you can to get away.
Iris: I'm a good mother, I'm holding him the right way up and everything.
Forgive me if I don't congratulate you for having had your baby only five seconds and having not yet managed to drop him.
Iris: Oops.
Justin: You're adorable, aren't you? Just adorable. You look much like any other nooboo but somehow you're the most adorable one ever. So adorable.
The word adorable is starting to lose all meaning.
Alys: So...tired... Why does he cry every time I go to sleep?
Why are you looking after him instead of either of the actual parents?
Iris: That's not fair! How did you get my number?
Voice on the other end of the phone (VOTOEOTP): I looked in the phone directory under 'Shark Hunters'.
Iris: I've stuck my figures in my ears and if I can't hear you you're not there!
VOTOEOTP: Mature.
Iris: I'm an adult, and I have a baby! I'm more mature than you and I don't even know who you are!
VOTOEOTP: Just do me a favour and have the stuff ready when you come. Please.
Alys: Day 3 of constant crying. I think I'm going insane.
The weirdest thing about the birth of Nathaniel is that Alys hasn't registered Iris as cheating even though she was pregnant and Alys clearly couldn't have got her pregnant. I guess the game's code only notices where there's a current Romantic Interest or where someone witnesses the cheating. But I still find it funny that Alys hasn't even really questioned where this baby has suddenly come from.
It's time for cake. Except you'll have to imagine the cake as I forgot to get a screenshot with the cake in it.
And is that blue hair I see?
Iris: I got him to toddlerhood and I only dropped him twice!
That's not an achievement.
I'm actually quite disappointed he seems to be a male version of Iris rather than inheriting anything from Justin. Though the blue hair and purple eyes are awesome, I quite wanted some of Justin's facial features.
His favourite colour is hot pink but after Albert I've run out of ideas for hot pink outfits, so he's being dressed in yellow and green for now. No real reason. He Loves the Outdoors and is Good.
And Iris has no more of an idea how to deal with a toddler as she does with a baby.
Nathaniel: *cries*
Iris: Why are you crying? Why can't you talk already? Why don't you have a little speech bubble over your head to tell me what you need, like a little sign to say you're smelly?
Alys: I don't think now's a good time to mention she's in my way.
Iris: Diamond.
Nathaniel: What's a diamond?
Iris: I don't know. Why do you ask such difficult questions?
Nathaniel: Tell me mummy!
Iris: And you can't be a criminal.
Nathaniel: Criminal bad!
Iris: No, not bad necessarily, Granny Lexa was one. But that's why you can't be one because she was.
Nathaniel: Copying's bad!
Iris: Kinda, yeah.
He's kinda cute isn't he.
Alys: I thought him becoming a toddler would mean less crying. But no. He's got bigger lungs now and cries louder.
