Double Trouble
Awww, she's adorable. What's her name?
Agnes: Georgia. And Chris can name the twin.
Twin?!
Chris: I think I'll call her Emily, after my mother.
That's so cute. Almost as cute as the babies themselves.
Sam (from upstairs): Hey! What about me? Remember your poor neglected son?
Agnes: If you stay quiet for another half an hour I'll give you a cookie?
Sam: I love you mummy.
Agnes: First rule of childrearing: bribery works.
Agnes: There, both fed, clean and in bed. Ahhhhhhhhhh!
Oh no, you're not having more are you?
Agnes: No. I'm... old. OLD. An adult. I think I'm going to have a mid-life crisis!
Oh Agnes. Don't worry. You still look beautiful.
Chris: I still love you.
Sam: I wonder if this brick will fit up my nose?
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And once again I've spent the last three days twiddling my fingers and keeping very quiet while Agnes and Chris deal with a toddler and twin nooboos.
Agnes: And don't think I'll ever forgive you.
Chris: I can't believe she only come back when they age up. It's like she's not the one telling us what to do anyway.
Agnes: They didn't even have a party, thanks to the absentee watcher.
I can hear you, you know.
Chris: I'm not speaking to you.
Can't I see how cute the twins are?
Chris: They're so adorable! Emily was born first, she's in the purple and is Good and a Genius. Georgia was second, she's Grumpy and a Virtuoso and her favourite food is pancakes like mine. And the best bit? They've both got my lips!
Ahh, the famous Steel lips.
Chris: With lips like those, they don't need the good kisser trait. It comes with the lips, baby.
It's apparently really easy to trick you into talking to me again.
Chris: Oh yeah. I forgot. You win this time, watcher. But I'll be back!
Agnes: Remind me why I have children again?
Because you love them very much.
Agnes: Yes, but why can't we fit them with extractor pipes?
Your husband's the one with a career in Science. Not me.
Agnes: Right, all you have to do is put one foot in front of the other foot.
Sam: Yeah. And how exactly do I take that foot off the floor without falling over?
Agnes: Quickly.
Sam: Helpful.
Emily: Ah. A triangle. Triangles have three sides and can be equilateral, isoceles or right-angled. Pythagoras' theorem can only be applied to right-angled triangles. All sorts of triangle tesselate.
Georgia: I wonder if this block fits up my nose?
Chris: Don't mind me. Chess in your pants may seem weird to some, but I guarantee that it's not as weird as toddlers doing trigonometry.
This is a good point. I'm going to go and clean up the papers from the front of the lot now.
Chris: Who's a good watcher then? Who?
If you're going to be patronising, you can do it yourself.
Emily: When I'm older, I'm going to get a job and become rich.
Sam: When I'm older, I'm going to learn how to get this block up my nose.
Georgia: Who made that mess? I hate it here.
Agnes: You know, whatever I say, I love my kids and I wouldn't give them up for anything. But if they don't stop making puddles on the carpet, I may reconsider.
Emily: *shifty look* It was so Georgia's fault.
I think I may have just spent an entire chapter making jokes about toddlers putting blocks up their nose.
Chris: Your jokes smell.
I thought you weren't speaking to me?
Chris: I hate you.
