Dear Journal,
Today I am feeling much better! But there is something on my mind... I must talk to max about it. I am writing my entry later at night because well... today was a long day.
It started with the family coming over... grandparents, aunts uncles, cousins...
Everyone asking about the wedding and fussing over us... it was sweet, but got annoying real fast. So I decided to talk a walk on the beach... in the summer's cool evening.
The sunset... oh the sunset was beautiful!
When it was dark I just paced the sand feeling calm and at ease with the world around me. I liked this feeling... the feeling of nothing to do, no wedding to plan, no baby to look after... I just think things are happening too fast. I want to go to college and enjoy the life as young adults. Don't get me wrong I would love to settle down and have a family with max but... can't we just pause life for a minute and enjoy going to college and meeting some good friends? Eden is in college! Why aren't I?
"Hey what's wrong?" Max said... he had come looking for me.
He was carrying little Peter... Max, although he didn't seem it, loves children like no one I have ever seen before.
"Max, I must talk to you about something..." I said kind of nervous he would take it the wrong way.
"Sure, anything." He said so caring.
"Look, I really want to get married and have kids..." I started.
"I do too..." Max agreed
"But, I think we are too young, we should be in college enjoy life and making friends and going to parties..." I said.
"Oh I see..." He said a little sad.
"Don't you think? You like parties and meeting people don't you?" I tried to encourage him.
"I did..." He said.
"Max... whats wrong?" I said putting my arm around him
"Remember the story Art told you... how I got here?"
"Yes... you lived on the streets basically..." I said.
"Yeah. My parent's didn't love me... so I got into trouble a lot, got arrested a few times at parties, friends were not real friends, more like big mean brothers actually... you see me point Amber?" Max said in a voice I had never heard from his mouth.
"I get it..." I said.
"I want to start fresh, be the dad I never had, be the friends and family that never was their for me... I was fortunate enough to have Art take me off the street." He said.
"I'm sorry I brought it up... I wasn't really thinking too much." I said feeling terrible.
"But, Amber don't let me stop you, because I don't want to go to college... doesn't mean you can't! I will be here... right here waiting for when ever your ready. Ok? Please, go, do what
you want to do... don't let me be the jerk that slows you down." Max said finally smiling again.
"Thank you, that means a lot..." I said. I am planning on enrolling soon for fall.
"So every thing cool?" Max said sounding normal again. I hugged him.
"Everything is cool..." I said. Then we each held one of Peter's hands and walked him up and down the beach until we were to tired. Peter would toddle between up and then we would lift him and swing him a little, this made him giggle like you wouldn't believe.
-The college student to be Amber Rose
