For Sale by Owner: Raven HouseFurnished: $74,840
Unfurnished: $37,912
Lot Size: 30 x 20
2 Bedrooms (sleeps 4), 2 Baths
Content: Everything except Late Night
Welcome, friends! How nice of you to come and view my home. Yes, I am Josiah Raven, owner of this house. My reason for selling? Sadly, I am the last of my kind. Last of the Ravens and last of the vampires in this town since all Late Night content mysteriously disappeared. There are two parking spaces, so please put your car in one.
The skeleton? He was my last butler. The blighter just wouldn't stop cooking, you know, so I had to
wall him up in the basement bar him from the kitchen and he just got thinner and thinner. He likes to welcome my guests, but you don't have to shake hands with him if you'd rather not.
This is the back yard, perfect for enjoying a midnight swim or relaxing in the hot tub with that special someone.
Do come in. Ah, I see you enjoying the scent of my roses. They are the Blood-Red variety, you know.
Now, I think we'll start upstairs and work our way down. First, the master suite:
This is where my butler used to sleep. But I just can't seem to find a butler at all any more. Sometimes I have a friend to spend the night, though. After all, that drive back to town is very long. Not always safe after dark. You'd be welcome to stay.
The living room is very comfortable and cozy in the evening. Red is such a lovely colour, don't you agree? So ... life-affirming. You have very rosy cheeks.
Here's the kitchen. I hope you can stay for dinner. I'm a very good cook, though I personally have to follow a liquid diet these days.
Here's the study. Do you play chess? Perhaps we can have a game after dinner.
I am a dedicated scientist, you know. My laboratory is in the basement, away from prying eyes.
My, all this talking certainly makes me thirsty! What about dinner? Where are you going? Wait! ... Does this mean you don't want to buy the house?
