Author's note: this update is long overdue. I apologize for that. I hope I didn't lose anybody that likes this story, and I've got a special update for it now.
Chapter 4: Forum Rules- The Uncut Version
Now that his life as a free man is officially over and he is married, Carl gets ready for a life of raising little kids.
While he's not practicing kicking little midgets, Carl starts writing his next book: The Forum Rules. He hopes that his book will do better than his previous book, Carl and Pam's Sims 3 Guide. That sold exactly 3 copies. He bought two for his family.
So he starts writing:
And this is what the finished product is:
Forum Rules
Welcome to our Sims 3 forum. Our goal is to have a friendly community full of noisy posts that are never seen on the official forum. This means you'll see lots of fashion contests, rate the Sim, avatar above you, etc. To many people this is not a perk but a rule. It is an idea that this forum was founded on so keep it in mind at all times. If you want help with something make your topic title as vague as possible. Our mods are quite often bored by this forum and it helps increase their post count if you make them have to correct you. By registering, you agree to the following rules:
1. This is a R community. Hate speech and profanity are encouraged. Using the words "bleep" or "bleeping" and/or abbreviations in place of profanity is not acceptable. Just write the whole word out. Also, there's no reason to be unnecessarily rude to people. You should be doing it on purpose anyways. If you don't like something, you could just troll them.
2. Use letters when posting so that it is readable by other forum members. We are a global community and this ensures readability by all members. Use textspeak and web acronyms - it saves time! Look at posts by esteemed members (like Sportsfan) to see what we mean. Use a lot of smilies and CAPS because they annoy some people. The forum includes a spell checker, but it hardly works and should be ignored. Try not to make your posts matter. 'Me too' posts that are only a few words do not advance topic discussion and are highly encouraged. Excessive use of punctuation and smilies makes a post look noisy, and read the first line of the rules to see what we think about noisy posts.
3. Discussion of pirates is encouraged. Descendants of Blackbeard are automatic Moderators. And talking about CD cracks is permitted as long as you are strong enough to snap them in half.
4. Don't worry about staying on topic. Waste space and traffic by bashing EA here. Everybody hates traffic so bash EA so that there won't be any traffic here anymore.
5. We assume all responsibility for any damage to your game or computer as a result of using mods, hacks, and/or third party custom content. Many sites which host them also offer code designed to break the game's Teen rating. As a R rated forum, we endorse any sites which link to such content. Please discuss and link to any and all mods or custom content (CC) on this forum.
6. Individual users of this forum may have more than one account. Creating multiple accounts will be rewarded with Moderator status.
Violating these rules may result in post removal, warnings, removal of posting ability, being banned, arrested, and/or given the death sentence. We reserve the right to let you make judgement calls on issues not covered specifically in the rules. We would like to ask you not to report spam to moderators. They are too busy simming to be concerned with such trivial matters. Finally, please be aware that there are special rules for sections like the Swap Shop, babble thread, and stories board. But those are unimportant and should be ignored.
Carl submits it to the publisher. A week later he finally gets a response.
"To the author:
This is one of the most horrendous novels I have ever had the misfortune to read. I refuse to publish this.
-Good day"
Carl is absolutely crushed. He knows that there is only one thing that he can do. So he calls up his good friend Pam, and she helps him edit it and becomes a co-author. And here is their final product:
The Forum RulesAnd that is the story of how the forum rules were created.
