@Leto: (He sure gets out there, right? 
)
If you are revering to how Max Skills is behaving in this story than yes, you are doing that extremely striking good I must say. Very good.
Especially his first line on the first page you did, the way you have introduced him was actually EXACTLY how I would have do it myself and that surprised me. It surprised me in a good way.
I know you're quite young, and I won't mention your age because I don't know if you would like that, but I can say that for your age your writing is extremely good developed.
Especially in the first chapter. I can repeat myself on how well you've introduced Max Skills, but the way you have dragged the reader into your story, by letting the characters saying to each other that they won't must give away too much plot-information yet (which makes me think they know more about the story plot than a normal protagonist at that timeperiod would know) did give it another interesting swing to the story. What do they know that they normally shouldn't know? If a reader askes that to himself while reading the story, than you've did the right thing.
And for the rest, the way you came up with that humor you've been using: man you're good at this! You've let the characters say the right thing at the right time. Your intoduction was both based on character introduction, going in a certain direction with them from which I don't know yet how that will turn out (and I don't want to know that yet actually
), the way they interact with each other and the humor which you've used extremely well, I can learn from you.
You know, you can read a lot about how to write a story, but in the end it all comes down to one thing, and one thing only: talent.
And yes Audren, you ARE talented.
I don't read a lot of stories, because I don't find the time, but this one I will definatly follow.
Okey, I'm done now. Don't have any compliment yet, so I will await your next chapers. Keep up the extremely good work.
Time for me to read çhapter 'Mr. Payne's Job' and beyond.
