My Sims need Dr. Phil!

[ElizaDaye]

Oh. My. Goodness. I have never had such trouble keeping two Sims together. I don't know if this is a mechanic of the new reputations with Generations, or the fact that they both have commitment issues (what can I say? Sometimes I like to torture myself ...), or what is going on.

So here's the scoop .... they got engaged, and he wanted a bachelor party. My first time playing with this since getting Generations. At the party, he wished to flirt with the party dancer. Since his fianceé was on another lot, I figured why not go for it? Biiiig mistake. Apparently it's not like flirting with regular Sims ... or maybe the whole mechanics of this was changed by Generations. I used to be able to cheat easily by just having the Sim's partner on another lot, but she knew about it instantly. When she got home, their relationship took a HUUUUUUGE hit, and she got the "betrayed" moodlet, preventing them from doing romantic interactions or sleeping in the same bed. I had them do friendly interactions to build their relationship bar back up. The "betrayed" moodlet was supposed to last for 5 days, but after 3, she just dumped him without consulting ME whatsoever! Luckily I'd refilled their relationship bar so it was pretty easy to get them back together. I thought that'd be the end of it ...

After I finally got them married, he was invited to a party. He got the wish to go and she didn't. So I kept her home to be productive, and sent him off to the party to make some friends. He did friendly interactions ONLY with two other male Sims, and the SECOND he got home, she accused him of cheating!! I feel terrible for the poor guy since this time he didn't actually DO anything. Once again, their relationship took a huge hit and she got the "betrayed" moodlet. Now I'm scared she'll divorce him after 3 days. So I have a two part question ...

1.) Does anyone know WHY this happened? Did she jump to conclusions because of his Cheater reputation?

2.) The text on the "betrayed" moodlet says that talking things out with the other Sim can speed the healing process. I couldn't figure out how to do that last time. Was that my problem? Do I need to "talk things out" to keep her from dumping him? And does anyone know how to do that? I can't find anything online.

I have all current expansions and stuff packs and I'm all patched up. I do have dlc but ONLY from The Store and The Exchange ... no mods or anything.

I imagine purchasing "Clear Reputation" from LTR would help, but his LTH is practically zero right now ...

Any help is greatly appreciated.

[MoMoll]

Hi Eliza - Welcome to the forum!
Beware of those with committment issues. I've never played where BOTH have the trait, so not sure if that is the reason.

She may have accused him the second time due to his cheater reputation and not because of the party. When you get the cheater reputation, the townies know and talk about you.

I had a sim who was involved in 3 relationships and one of the guys found out and accused her of cheating. I think he found out because one of her romances was his "Best Friend Forever", who had now become his enemy. She let him cool off for the 3 days and reinitiated the relationship.

Talking things out would be just having friendly conversations and staying away from any romantic or flirty interactions, because the romantic and flirty interactions only make the bar go further down. Do you have the choice of "apologize" in your friendly interactions? If so, use it even if the guy didn't do anything.

Good Luck!

[cathyknits]

One thing about the bachelor/bachelorette parties: I think the game somehow counts all household members as being "at the party" even if they're off the lot for the occasion. One of the funnier things I've seen in my Dynasty is the founder fishing with his soon-to-be grandson-in-law in their party clothes...that certainly wasn't what they were wearing when I sent them out there!

Meanwhile, I had someone flirt at a party while his wife was on the lot with no "hit" to his reputation (admittedly he was already a "cheater", for reasons I'm not entirely clear about), but he and the flirt-ee were outdoors and everyone else was indoors - and with a different sim, I had exactly the situation the original poster described come up with no repercussions at all. I have yet to figure out what counts as "cheating" and what counts as "betraying", and why sometimes something counts and sometimes it doesn't...

[ElizaDaye]

oh pooh ... I was kind of hoping I was missing something obvious, but I suppose I at least feel better about my own abilities now. Thanks for the help ladies! I guess I'll just tough it out and hope she doesn't leave him again ... if so ... well ... they got back together once, maybe the third time's the charm. In the mean time I'll just have to work on cranking out his LTH so he can clear his reputation and hopefully that'll help! Thanks again!

[Pam]

I'd like to know how she's autonomously leaving/divorcing him.  That's not something they can do on their own while you're controlling them.  Not that I'm aware of, at least.

[ElizaDaye]

Yeah it's bizarre ... I get a text box that says  "she's obviously not interested in fixing this relationship, so they're no longer romantically involved!" that's what was making me think there was a specific interaction I was supposed to be doing.

But now that they're divorced (yup, she did it again) I think I figured out my problem. The party dancer was still considered a romantic interest in his relationship bar. That may have had something to do with it. anyway, he asked her to just be friends, so hopefully now when they get back together AGAIN they'll stay that way .... I'll see anyway.

[Pam]

Ok, now it makes more sense.  The two Sims weren't actually married or even girlfriend/boyfriend.  When you get that message about no longer romantically involved, I believe that means they were only romantic interests for each other.

[MoMoll]

Yeah it's bizarre ... I get a text box that says  "she's obviously not interested in fixing this relationship, so they're no longer romantically involved!" that's what was making me think there was a specific interaction I was supposed to be doing.

I've had the same quote and another one "Matthew doesn't think this relationship is working out", so I'd immediately have her visit him and rekindle. However, the second time the message came up, when she arrived at his house he came out and accused her of cheating (which she was). I had her wait a few days and found him dancing and worked them up to marriage right on the dance floor. When he moved in I realized he knew about her romance with Richie Striker (who was Matt's BFF before, and now his enemy). She still had to end the other 2 romances. She broke up with Richie right in front of his wife who apparently was unaware of their relationship and started arguing with Richie. Poor Richie!

[Pam]

I actually find it interesting that they can be caught cheating, even if the spouse Sim doesn't see it directly.  That's exactly how a small town is.  Everybody always gossiping and in each other's business.  People can't cheat without someone knowing about it.  Now I'm a little curious to see if they will get caught if they cheat indoors somewhere, like the other Sim's house.  Maybe if it's not in a public place, they won't be caught.

[Chuckles_82]

Something like that would certainly make for an interesting twist to a challenge...

[ElizaDaye]

Ok, now it makes more sense.  The two Sims weren't actually married or even girlfriend/boyfriend.  When you get that message about no longer romantically involved, I believe that means they were only romantic interests for each other.

I think I miscommunicated ... the two Sims who broke up were boyfriend/girlfriend the first time, husband/wife the second time. the "romantic interest" was the party dancer he flirted with at his bachelor party. slime ball. LOL

[MoMoll]

I actually find it interesting that they can be caught cheating, even if the spouse Sim doesn't see it directly.  That's exactly how a small town is.  Everybody always gossiping and in each other's business.  People can't cheat without someone knowing about it.  Now I'm a little curious to see if they will get caught if they cheat indoors somewhere, like the other Sim's house.  Maybe if it's not in a public place, they won't be caught.

My sim romanced Richie at her house, so somehow Matt found out. Could be because Richie was his BFF and they talk a lot together?

[Pam]

My sim romanced Richie at her house, so somehow Matt found out. Could be because Richie was his BFF and they talk a lot together?

Yes, most likely.

[athena]

This story sounds so interesting and fun, I'm going to try out the cheater and betrayal scenarios on some of my Sims. I tend to run happily married couples and families, it's getting a bit boring... Thanks for sharing! 

[ejnarts1]

Not sure if this was brought up...didn't see it, or if this is passé but, if one Sim still has love interests in their friend's panel it's considered cheating. You have to break up with all old partners for that not to be a factor. My poor Sim acquired many more enemies than friends after that go 'round...4 old partners