You must have had an incredible amount of bad luck with all this. I haven't run into these problems.
From the list, i have not personally experienced #1 since i avoid it like the plague, however, there are several reports even within this forum of EADM refusing to update the game the day HELS came out (and thus either forcing people to wait or to manually patch to be able to play HELS), a problem which persisted until EADM itself was patched.
Launcher for me refuses to close after starting the game and then starts to leak memory sometimes, which in turn brings game load time slowdown, others have reported crashes installing store content. Launcher's download behavior is different from windows to mac, under windows it uses explorer to download, explorer's download system is definitely not the best out there and is more prone to broken downloads than others.
And as for the patches causing more bugs, yes, I suppose that's true. But if you wait a day or two to see if it doesn't break the game for other people, you're not getting the benefit of the things it fixes.
Patch 1.9/2.4 comes out, breaks bug spawn, fixes photography theater issue. Waiting a day gives me the ability to decide whether i can live without proper bug spawning in order to get photography theater fix or not. I decided not to update (if i where playing a photographer instead of a collector at that time, i would have updated), within a week patch 1.10/2.5 comes out and fixes the bug spawn issue 1.9 introduced, wait a day, no new errors reported, i update.
In other words, if a new patch is fixing an issue that doesn't affect my current household but introduces a new one that does, i am probably going to skip said patch.
Manually patching is not "outside the system", the manual patches are also provided by EA; users have the ability to choose between EADM (which is an OPTIONAL part of the installation), the launcher or manual patches, all provided by EA. I don't see your problem with me recommending this last option for being the least prone to issues.