ok, I kept a backup of the original graphics files so I am going to try restoring them, going to the Sims 3 main menu and then copying the new files again, and see if that works, this worked when I first had the Nvidia card installed and it's the same driver that was installed with the card, I had the computer shop update it in April to the most recent version but it messed up my game and wouldn't allow it to launch (plus it wouldn't recognize my 2nd monitor) so I rolled it back to the original and the game was working fine after that and I'm hesitant to do anything with it further since it was running the game fine.
....but I'm not going to try troubleshooting it again until the morning, lol it's getting late and I have to work tomorrow, thanks for your help, if you can fix the files for me, I can try them and see if that will work, I greatly appreciate all the help and advice you've been giving me, I hadn't thought of trying to delete the device.config file that's currently there and seeing if it will recognize the card, but I will try that tomorrow night