Figuring It Out

[Ally3772]

Chapter Twenty Two: Next Steps

"Okay, first day of work." I said to myself.

I took a deep breath as I looked in the mirror trying to hype myself up for the day ahead. I was able to find a really nice day care close to the office so I could easily drop Lucas off and pick him up. Though, I would have to do so for long because his birthday was next week. I couldn't believe that he was going to be a child already! I thought parents were kidding when they said they blinked and suddenly their infant was graduation high school.

"You can do this." I told myself.



I walked out into the living room where Lucas was on the couch.

"Alright Lucas, it's time to go to daycare." I said.

"NO!" He screamed.

"We talked about this remember? You're only going for a few hours while mama works." I explained.

"Go with you." He said, crossing his arms.

"You can't baby, I wish you could." I said.

He grumbled a bit more before I picked him up. When we got to the day care center however his mood shifted and he started pointing out all of the toys he saw. The second I put him down in the room he ran off to a group of kids who were playing in an indoor sandbox. I stood there for a few minutes watching him as he grabbed a shovel and a bucket before scooping the sand.

"Hi! I'm Kara!"

I jumped before realizing she was the owner of the day care center.

"Hi! I'm Raegan." I said.

"Right! Lucas is your little one!" She said.

"He is." I said.

"Well, I promise you that he is in good hands. Right now is a bit of play time, and in about an hour we will have lunch. I included the menu for lunch in the welcome packet along with some forms for you to fill out." She said.

She handed me a blue folder with the day care centers name and logo on the front. I took it as I smiled at her, I took a look at the clock and I realized that I had to get going. But suddenly I wasn't wanting to leave him here. It had been just him and I for the last month and a half, and Finley would help out when needed. Now I was leaving him with complete strangers in hopes that they would take care of him. What if one of the other children hurt him or bullied him? Maybe I was making a mistake.

"Every parent feels that." Kara said.

"What?" I asked.

"You're thinking that you shouldn't leave him here and feeling guilty." She said.

"How did you know?" I asked.

"Every parent goes through this. I've even had parents take their kids out of the class only to return the next day. It's a process of trust, and I promise you that I will make it as smooth of a process as I can." She assured.

I took a deep breath and thanked her before heading over to Lucas to say goodbye. He gave me a quick hug before rushing back to the sandbox to continue making castles with the other kids. I hung around for a few more minutes before finally forcing myself to leave and even then I looked in through the window. Once I was on my way to work the guilt eased just a little bit when I told myself he was having fun.

The first day of work flew by insanely fast. The office was small, with just a bunch of desks with computers on them. I got my own desk which I wasn't expecting and another welcome packet to go over. It was basically a day of introductions and going over the basics of what my job would be. From what I understood I would be writing articles that would be published in the paper if they were chosen by our editor. I could either chose to write articles for food or art, but as of right now I would just be writing articles on both until I chose which one. Everyone was super nice and I felt a sense of relief realizing I would fit in just fine.

One Week Later

"What doin?" Lucas asked.

"Careful baby, mama is cooking your birthday dinner!" I said.



It was Lucas' birthday today! I had to work, so I was rushing to get everything done in time. I had the cake baked and cooling in the fridge already, I made him a hamburger cake just to do something different. Hopefully it was actually edible since I was still getting used to this whole cooking and baking thing. Now I had a turkey in the oven and I was going to make stuffing and corn to go with it.

"Hot." Lucas said.

"That's right, the oven is hot!" I told him.

Once everything was done we sat at the table and ate our food. Lucas was getting better at eating his food and was even learning how to use a fork. I finished eating before Lucas so I took that time to get the candles on the cake while keeping an eye on him. I placed the cake on the counter and lit the candles just as he finished eating.

"All done? Ready to blow out your candles?" I asked.

"Cake!" He squealed.

I removed his plate and put it in the sink before picking him up and carrying him over to the counter.

"Blow on three okay? One... Two... Three!" I said excitedly.



Just like that, my once toddler was now a child!

"Look at you! All grown up!" I said.

I knelt to the ground and kissed him on the cheek.

"Grossss." He groaned, but he had a smile on his face.




"Happy Birthday Lucas!" I said.

"Thanks mom!" He said.

"Oh, it's mom now. I see." I joked.

He laughed, and my heart sank because he sounded like Ian when he laughed. We walked over to the couch and sat down and talked for a while and watched some tv.

"What do you call this?" I asked, ruffling his hair.

"Moooooom! It's a mohawk!" He whined.

"A mohawk huh? Is that what the cool kids are doing now?" I asked.

He groaned.



"So, your room isn't quite ready just yet. So do you want to sleep on the couch or do you want to sleep in my bed?" I asked.

"If I sleep on the couch can I watch some tv before bed?!" He asked.

"As long as you aren't up too late." I told him.

"The couch!" He said.

I giggled and pulled him in for a hug.

"I love you little man." I said.

"I love you too mom." He said.



I talked to Kara at the day care center and she said Lucas is more than welcome to come anytime. They watched kids from the ages of infants to children, and even teenagers from time to time. Although the teenagers were few and far between and would often help with the little ones. I told her that I would keep that in mind, but he would be enrolled in grade school now so we may not need it. Although, it would give him a place to go after school if I was still not home and Finley wasn't able to watch him.

"So how would you feel about going back to the day care center after school if needed?" I asked Lucas.

"I wouldn't mind! It's fun there and the kids are nice." He told me.

"Good, because there may be times where I need you to because I'll be at work and aunt Finley may not be here." I said.

"I never saw Hannah there, does she go somewhere else?" He asked.

"No, her father takes her if needed." I said.

"Ah, okay." He said, a little sadness in his voice.

I would have to tell him the full story of how his father passed away, but for right now it could wait. I wasn't sure just how much he remembered of Ian but I would make sure he knew that his father loved him so much.

"So, let's go talk about how you want your room to look like!" I said.

"Neat!" He said.



"Can it look however I want it too?" Lucas asked.

"However you want." I said.

"I have ideas." He told me.

"I want to hear all of them." I said.

Lucas is a child!

So, I didn't realize he was so close to aging or else I wouldn't of gone the day care route, but I think I worked it out! I hope you guys enjoyed it

[Ally3772]

Chapter Twenty Three: Another Bump

"Can scientists be football players?" Lucas asks.

We were setting up his room and we were hanging up some of the posters he picked out.

"I don't see why not!" I said.

"Maybe they can be scientists on the off season of football." He said.

"That would make sense, why do you ask?" I asked him.

"I think I want to be a scientist football player." He said.

I smiled at him.

"You will be the best scientist football player." I told him.

Just like that we were finished with his bedroom. He chose a green paint with a simple brown wooden flooring. He kept the tree in the corner of the room and chose a nice desk where he could do his homework at. The desk also had drawers so that he put his things inside of it and a shelf to hold his books. A simple string was going across the top where he could hang up and pictures that he drew. His bed had drawers at the bottom of the bed for his clothes, and had a light green and white bed spread. On the walls he chose three posters, a science poster, a football poster, and a picture of some rock group. Lastly we put his dog and toy box in the corner that was at a weird angle since I couldn't do much with.




"So, what do you think?" I asked.

"This is so cool mom! I love it!" Lucas said.

I hugged him and kissed the top of his head.

"I'm going to get started on my homework." He said.

"Good thinking! First day of school tomorrow!" I said.

"Can you make me a turtle? For my new desk?" He asked.

"Of course! Any requests?" I asked.

"Surprise me!" He said.



I walked out into the living room and sat down on the couch. I think I was going to make him a strawberry turtle because why not be a little silly with it.

You at home? -F

I picked up my phone from the table and replied.

Yeah! Need something? -R

I need to talk to you about something, can I come over in a few? -F

Of course! -R

I put my phone down suddenly got nervous about what she needed to talk about. I'm sure it wasn't anything bad though, and I did want to apologize for missing Hannah's birthday. She was a teenager now which was crazy to think about.



There was a knock on the door twenty minutes later and I put the turtle aside to finish later. I opened the front door to find Finley and Hannah standing in the hallway. I let them in and shut the door behind them, Hannah went to see what Lucas was up too after giving me a quick hug and Finley stood nervously in the living room.

"You seem nervous." I said.

"We should sit down." Finley said.

"Oh boy." I said.

We walked over to the couch and sat down.

"I don't know how to say this." She said.

She clasped her hands together before unclasping them and placing them on her legs restlessly.

"Are you okay? Hannah?" I asked.

"Oh! Yeah, we're fine." She said.

"So what is it?" I asked.

"I found a new job." She told me.

"Really? That's great!! Doing what?" I asked.

"My dad's business, he needs some help on the ranch." She said.

"That's gre- wait, your dad?" I said.

"Yeah." She said.

Finley's parents lived three states away and owned a ranch where they also sold the milk and crops they got from it. She told me about it when we first met and said she loved helping her dad when she was growing up. Her job was to brush the horses and feed the sheep, and she even learned how to shave the sheep when she was old enough. I was extremely happy for her that she got to go home again because I knew how much she missed them.

"You're moving." I whispered.

"I thought long and hard about this decision Rae. But I miss my parents and they want to get closer to Hannah so I just though, why not? This wasn't an easy decision though, because I don't want to leave you behind." She said.

I blinked back tears and she pulled me into her side and cradled my head.



"This feels like deja vu." I chuckled as I wiped a few tears away.

She held me like this when I was worried something was wrong with Ian.

"I guess this is our 'there's something wrong' position." She joked.

"I guess so." I said.

She wiped her own tears away.

"I'm going to miss you so much Fin. There's not enough words in the dictionary to thank you for everything you've done for me." I said.

"I am a phone call away, and we can visit each other when we can." She told me.

"I would love that." I said.

Hannah walked into the living room with Lucas behind her.

"Hi Finley!" Lucas greeted.

"Hey little man!" She said.

"Can I talk to you Rae?" Hannah asked.

"Of course!" I said.

I followed her into my bedroom and closed the door behind us.

"What's up?" I asked.

"I'm worried about my mom." She said.

"Why is that?" I asked.

"This just seems like a drastic change out of no where." She said.

I bit my lip, "I can see where you're coming from."

"I'm excited to see my grandparents, but I just hope she isn't rushing into something." She said.

"Well, you can always back if it doesn't work out. I will kick whoever moves into your guys' apartment out in a heartbeat." I told her.

She giggled, "Thank you Rae."

"Anytime, I will miss you but I am a phone call away." I told her.

She pulled me in a hug.

"I will miss you too." She said.



"She did not say that!"

Hannah and I walked into the living room again to find Lucas and Finley talking on the couch.

"She did! The teacher sent her to the principals office, but that's how the episode ended!" Lucas said.

"Well I may just have to watch this show!" Finley said.

I giggled.



"I know what we should do!" Hannah said.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Photoshoot! You and me!" She said.

"Yes! I love that!" Finley said.

I pretended to groan as we headed into the kitchen.

"Smile!" Finley said.



"You really do look like your mother." I said.

"She keeps saying that as well." Hannah said.

"Who do I look like?" Lucas asked.

"I think you look like a perfect mixture of your mother and father." Finley told him.

"Cool." He said.




"Those are really cute." Finley said, looking at her phone.

"You'll have to send me them." I said.

"Of course." She said.

"So, when do you leave?" I asked.

"The movers are coming tomorrow morning." Finley told me.

I could see why Hannah was concerned about it being too soon.

"Oh." I said.

"I know, but my parents are super excited to have us home." She said.


"So uh, this is it?" I asked, my voice cracking.

"For now." Finley said.

I walked over to her and hugged her tightly.

"You call the second you get there, okay?" I said.

"I promise you." She said.



After a tearful goodbye, Hannah and Finley left to finish up packing. I closed the door and leaned against the door feeling like I was just hit but a train. It felt very sudden and rushed, but it seemed like it was something Finley wanted. Hannah was still up in the air but I had no doubt that she would fit in just fine once she got used to it. Living on a ranch could be a fun experience just not one I would ever want to experience. I would not do well with waking up when the sun was still down and going straight to work, no thank you.

"I'm going to miss them." Lucas said.

"Me too, but hey! I finished your turtle!" I said.

I walked over to where I placed the turtle before Finley and Hannah showed up.

"Tada!" I said.

"Cool! A strawberry turtle!" He said.

"He can help you study." I said.

"I'm going to go put him on my desk!" He said, running to his room.



I smiled as I cleaned up the rest of the crochet mess. I was going to miss Finley for sure, but maybe it was time for me to fully stand on my own two feet.

Hi! Sorry! It's been a crazy week! How is it the middle of October already?!

[Ally3772]

Chapter Twenty Four: Tough Conversations

Trigger warning: Mention of car accident and death

"I'm home! Sorry!" I gasped.

I rushed through the door holding my coat and purse in my hands. I closed the door behind me and hung my stuff up before turning around and seeing Lucas on the couch.

"Lucas! How long have you been watching TV?" I sighed.

"Since I've been home." He told me, through a mouthful of food.



I looked at the clock.

"Lucas! You've been home from school for two hours!" I scolded.

"I lost track of time!" He said.

I sighed and rubbed my forehead.

"Alright, TV off and it's homework time." I said.

He groaned before clicking off the TV and heading to the kitchen to put his dish in the sink. He walked back into the living room before going into the bedroom and closing the door. I sighed again and went into my own room to get dressed into normal clothes. I was heading back into the living room when my phone went off, I sat on the couch before unlocking it to see that Finley sent me a picture of their family ranch. I smiled as I read the message that they are finally settled in but missing us terribly. I was happy for them and their new beginning, and I was shocked to find out that Jason was going to let her take Hannah. But then again Hannah is a teenager now and she could easily go visit Jason and vice versa. I sent her a text message back saying that we missed her too and couldn't wait to hear more. I took a deep breath and rested my head on the back of the couch.

"I'm done."

I jumped out of my skin not realizing that I nodded off on the couch.

"Oh! Good, thank you sweetie." I said.

Lucas walked over to the couch and sat down next to me.

"You were asleep." He said.

"Yeah, I must have dozed off." I giggled.

Lucas played with his pants looking like he was thinking of something.

"What's up sweetie?" I asked.

"How did dad die?" He asked.



My heart dropped, I knew this was coming and I was trying to prepare myself but I guess it didn't work. I turned to face him and took his hands in mine giving them a little squeeze before taking a deep breath.

"Are you sure you're ready?" I asked.

"I want to know mom." He told me.

"Okay, and you deserve to know." I said.

I squeezed his hands again before beginning the long story of that horrible day of my life. I told him about the work trip and how I got angry with him for even thinking of it. How I eventually told him that it was okay to go and that I would be fine. I slowly worked to the actual car accident and how they were slammed into from behind and sandwiched in between the car in front of them and the one behind. I brushed a few tears from his cheeks as he silently cried during the story of how his father died. I had to brush a few tears from my own eyes but I was determined to stay strong for him during this.

"Was he in pain?" Lucas asked.

"I don't think so, it more than likely happened fast so he wouldn't of had time to know what was happening." I told him.

He looked down at the floor.

"You were so little when he left for the trip, so you probably don't remember how he held you in his arms and promised he'd be back." I said.

"He broke that promise." He said.

I took a deep breath and blinked back tears.

"Sweetie, I know he's not here physically but he is here with you." I explained.

"I guess." He said quietly.

"Come here baby." I said.

I pulled him into my arms.



"Your dad loved you so much. You were the light of his life and he lit up every time you were in the room. I know that if he knew something bad was going to happen that he wouldn't of left you. But this was just an accident that no one could have predicted and I know that doesn't make it any easier. However, whenever you miss him you let me know and I will tell you stories that will make you less sad. Got it?" I asked.

"Thanks mom." He said.

I kissed the top of his head.

"He left you too." Lucas said suddenly.

My heart dropped again as I planted a smile on my face.

"He did, but I'm okay. It's hard still but having you here helps more than you know." I told him.

"I think dad would want you to find someone else." He said.

I looked at him shocked and how he just said it like it wasn't a big deal.

"Wha- I don't think I'm ready for that." I laughed nervously.

"When you are I think it'll be okay." He said.

I laughed as I pulled him in for another bear hug.

...

"I'm going to bed." Lucas said.

I turned around to give Lucas a kiss on the forehead.

"Sleep well sweetie." I said.

"Do you think we can have tacos tomorrow?" He asked.

"I think I can make that happen!" I laughed.

He smiled before heading into his room. I turned back to the sink full of dishes and got started cleaning them so I didn't have to do them tomorrow. I think that Lucas took the story of how Ian passed away well, but I'm sure that down the road he would still have questions about it. I would be there to answer them all though and help him however he needed me too. The whole comments about finding someone else though threw me for a loop. I knew kids said some off the wall things now and then but he said it so matter of factly like it was normal. I wasn't ready to get back out there at least I didn't think I was. Then there was the whole introducing someone into Lucas' life and disrupting his new normal. Before I knew it all the dishes were done and an hour had passed. I walked into Lucas' room to see if he was sleeping and when I saw that he was I walked over to him and tucked him in.

"I got you sweetie, it's just you and me." I whispered.



I closed the door quietly before heading into the bedroom.

"Hey Ian, I- I told him about your accident today." I said.

I sat at the computer and touched the urn softly.

"I think he handled it okay, but he still has a long way to go." I whispered.

I blinked back a few tears before deciding to get some work done.



Work was going well so far and I've made a few friends that I like to talk to at the office. No one as close as Finley and I are though, but it was good to have some people at the office. I was enjoying writing the articles and my boss asked me to keep practicing my writing skills while at home. So I usually spent at least an hour before bed doing so because I wanted to be the best writer I could be. I decided to go to bed after I found myself dozing off at the computer and got changed into my pajamas and crawled into bed. I was working a lot and it was starting to drain me, but I needed this job.

Just a short chapter to let you know I'm still here! I am trying to get chapters out quicker, but sometimes I don't have the time! I hope you enjoyed =]

[Metropolis Man]

That was a great update, Ally -- a tough conversation for Ian, but you played it out perfectly.

[Ally3772]

That was a great update, Ally -- a tough conversation for Ian, but you played it out perfectly.

Thank you

[Ally3772]

Chapter Twenty Five: A Day Out

"Mom?"

"In here!" I called.

Lucas walked into the bedroom where I was at the computer working on an article about what is the best pizza topping. He walked over and stood there staring at me for a few minutes before I stopped typing and looked at him.



"What's up?" I asked.

"Can we watch a movie?" He asked me.

"I- uh, sweetie I really have to get this article done." I told him.

"Oh," He said disappointedly, "Right. Okay."

He gave me a small smile before walking out into the living room. I went back to working on the article but eventually stopped typing when Lucas' sad smile flashed through my mind again. I sighed and rubbed my forehead with my hand feeling frustrated. I was working a lot because I was still fairly new at the job and we needed the money, but it was becoming clear that I was starting to neglect Lucas and his needs. I pushed away from the desk and stood up before walking into the living room finding Lucas sitting on the couch alone. He was swinging his legs back and forth while staring at the TV but not watching what was playing.

"Lucas, I'm sorry." I said.

"It's fine, you need to work." He said.

I scratched the back of my head.

"I'm taking the rest of the day off, what do you want to do?" I asked.

"Can we go to the beach?!" He asked, excitement lighting his face.

"Well, it's getting kind of dark out, and the beach is a couple towns over." I said.

"Oh, right. Um, we can do a movie." He said.

The excitement vanished and the sad look came back in his eyes as he grabbed the TV remote to pick a movie.

"Get your suit." I said.

"Really?!" He gasped.

"Go! Or I'm going to build a sand sculpture without you!" I said.

He hopped off of the couch before dashing to his bedroom. I laughed before going to get into my bathing suit, it wasn't until I walked out of the living room that I realized that I have been so busy that I forgot to shave my legs.

"Great." I hissed.

"What?" Lucas asked.

He was standing next to me suddenly, a towel draped over his arm.

"I forgot to shave my legs." I said.

"So? If anyone says anything then they will have to deal with me." He said, puffing out his chest.

I laughed stroking his hair, "Thanks little man."

...

"Look! There's a perfect spot!" Lucas screamed.

He ran a head of me to claim the spot we were going to be at.

"What do you want to do first?" I asked.

"Let's build a sand turtle!" He said.

"No one has ever done that before. We will be famous!" I giggled.



"So, how has school been?" I asked.

"It's okay, but some of the kids are mean." He said.

I stopped scooping sand, "How so?"

"They laugh at me because I'm the only one without a dad." He whispered.

"What? I- Lucas that is- I'm going to talk to the principal okay?" I said.

"No, that'll just make it worse!" He whined.

"If you're being bullied Lucas we need to do something." I told him.

"It's not that bad, they don't do it often." He said.

I sighed.

"If it gets worse, you come to me? Got it?" I asked.

"Got it." He said.



We worked for another fifteen minutes sculpting our turtle before it was finally complete.

"Well look at it!" I said.

"I think it's the best turtle any one has ever made!" Lucas exclaimed.

"I would have to agree with you there." I said.



"What do you want to do now?" I asked.

Lucas looked around the beach, there was surprisingly a lot of people out at this time of night. I had to admit the beach at night was ten times better than the day time because it was way too crowded for me to enjoy.

"I think I want to swing." Lucas told me.

"Then go swing til your heart is content. I think I'm going to go pick a floatie and just relax in the water for a bit." I said.

"Sounds good mama." He said.

I smiled as I watched him walk over to the swing set and pick a swing.




I watched the people on the beach as I relaxed on my beach floatie. There was a mother and daughter building a sand castle in the same area that we built the turtle and they looked like they were having fun doing it. There was a small group of friends sitting at a picnic table in front of a beach food truck laughing at something one of them said. I watched Lucas as he pumped his legs back and forth to try to get as high as the swing would allow. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes as I rested my head against the headrest.

"BOO!"

"AHHH!" I fake screamed.

Lucas giggled as he floated in the water by the floatie.

"Where did you come from?! I didn't even hear you!" I said.

"I'm super quite! Like a ninja!" He said.



"You're a pretty good swimmer! Where did you learn to swim so well?" I asked.

"Remember? The school has a swimming pool! We've been learning this week." He told me.

"Oh that's exciting!" I said.

"I bet you can't catch me!" He teased.

"Oh yeah?!" I asked.

I jumped off the raft causing him to squeal in excitement, he kicked his legs faster as we swam around the ocean. I would like to say I was purposely going slow to let him win, but the kid was fast! Eventually I waved the metaphorical white flag and we came to a stop before just floating in front of each other.

"I'm beginning to wonder if you're secretly a fish." I laughed.

"The teacher says I'm a natural." He said, proudly.



My stomach rumbled.

"I'm starting to get hungry, what about you?" I asked.

"I could eat!" He said.

We got out of the water as we dried off.

"Why don't you go get a table, and I will order something for us?" I suggested.

He ran off to pick one of the three picnic tables available. I walked over to the food truck and studied what looked to be a chaotic menu for a beach food truck. There was pizza, tacos, quesadillas, chicken, and that didn't even seem to be half of it. The cashier smiled and tapped her pen as I studied the menu board feeling a tad bit overwhelmed.

"Nice rack."

I spun around to come face to face with a guy dressed in a nice button down blue shirt and khaki shorts with blue flip flops.

"Excuse me?" I hissed.

"Oh! OH! No! I meant the rips, the uh- the rack of ribs are great." He stammered.

I spun around back to the menu board and sure enough they did have racks of ribs.

"This menu is wild." I groaned.

He chuckled running a hand through his blonde hair.

"My name is Nathan." He said, holding out his hand.

"My name is- uh, my name is Raegan." I said, suddenly noticing his bright green eyes.

"Do you live here?" He asked me.

"Oh, no I live a few towns over. What about you?" I asked.

"No, I live in Newcrest I'm just here visiting some friends." He told me.

He pointed over to the group of friends I noticed earlier.

"Nice." I said, nervously.

What was going on with me?

"Listen, I don't mean to seem like such a creep. But, could I possibly get your number?" He asked.

My eyes went wide, I didn't even know this guy!

So why was I actually writing my phone number down for him?! He told me that he wanted to get out more and get to know more people around the area.

"I don't mean to interrupt, but there's a line forming." The cashier said.

"Oh! Sorry! Sorry everyone!" I said.

"I'll let you go now, nice to meet you Raegan!" Nathan said.

"You too!" I said.

I was so nervous and flustered for some reason that I don't even remember ordering the ribs and sitting at the table with Lucas. I was so in my head about the whole exchange that I don't remember how we even got home. Did I just give some random guy I literally just met?! He could be a serial killer for all I knew! I threw myself on my bed and groaned into my pillow. I was making a big deal out of nothing because the chances of him actually texting me were very slim. He just sounded like he was being polite anyway and I was going to laugh with Finley when I told her about this. I gasped sitting up in bed suddenly as I looked down at my legs realizing that I was talking to Nathan while my legs were taking the form of a teddy bear. I groaned loudly again before falling back into the pillows.

When did we get over a thousand views?! Thank you so much!

[Ally3772]

Chapter Twenty Six: Hiding Something

"Lucas! What in the world are you watching?!" I gasped.

I was in the kitchen when I heard sounds of fighting coming from the television.

"Just the news!" He called back.

I walked into the living room drying my hands on a hand towel. I walked over to the tv where the news was broadcasting at the local art auction downtown.

"Oh my what is going on?" I asked.

"A big fight broke out!" Lucas said.



"Over paintings?!" I gasped.

"Yeah! It's crazy!" He said.

"Well, I guess you're watching the news." I giggled.

My phone went off.

Sooooo, did the guy ever text you?! -F

I knew I was going to regret telling you, ugh. -R

That wasn't an answer missy! -F

No, he has not and his name is Nathan -R

Oooooh I am sorry, can you forgive me? -F

Har har -R

I smiled at my phone before putting it back in my pocket and returning to the kitchen. Finley and I talked almost every day which was a nice surprise because I had a feeling we'd drift apart. But she is having a blast with her new job at her parents farm, and Hannah is thriving at the new school. Hannah even had a boyfriend named Sean and from what Finley has told me it's pretty serious. My phone went off again and I groaned preparing myself for whatever Finley had to say this time.

Hey Raegan! It's Nathan, we met at the beach! I hope it's okay to text you! -N

I stared at my phone not knowing how to react. It had been almost two weeks since the night at the beach and I had yet to hear from him so I thought he was just being nice. Yet here I was standing in my kitchen holding my phone like it was going to explode at any moment. I glanced towards the living room to make sure Lucas was still watching the news before typing out a reply.

Hey! Yes I remember! How are you? -R

Pretty good! Sorry it's taken me this long to reach out! -N

Oh that's fine! It's been a crazy few weeks -R

I bit my lip not knowing what the next step was or what he even wanted.

So, I was thinking, how about we meet up sometime? Get to know each other? I hope that doesn't sound too forward. -N

Oh! Sure, that would be nice! It gets kind of lonely around here now that my friend moved away -R

I'm sorry they moved. I will try my best to fill the big shoes haha -N

I giggled as I waited for another text to come through.

How about next Friday? -N

That would work with me! I can work from home that day, say one o'clock? -R

Works for me -N

I texted him my address and suddenly got a knot in my stomach. Was this too fast? Was I stupid for inviting him to my place for the first time? I made sure to tell him a time where Lucas would be at school so that he wouldn't be here. Not that I was ashamed of Lucas, but I didn't know Nathan too well and I wasn't about to introduce someone to Lucas just yet.

Lucas' POV

I poked my head into the apartment to make sure mom wasn't in the living room.

"Mom?!" I called.

No response.

"Are you home?" I called out.

I quickly rushed into the apartment before closing the door and locking it. I clutched the backpack straps tighter to my body while I ran into my bedroom and closed the door. I took a deep breath before quickly removing my backpack and gently setting it down on the floor. I opened the door just a crack to make sure the coast was still clear before closing it again.

"Okay." I whispered.

I dropped to my knees and opened up my backpack quickly.

"Now, remember the rules okay? You have to be quiet!" I whispered.

I pulled the puppy from my backpack before setting it down on the floor. Mom was going to freak out if she found him in my room but I couldn't just leave him! I was walking home when I found him shaking and whining by a tree. He had no collar or tag and no one seemed to be around to claim him so he was all alone. I didn't know what my plan was but I had to keep him quiet while I figured it out.

"Now, I'll be right back!" I told him.

I hurried into the kitchen not knowing just when mom would be home from work. My phone went off making me jump out of my skin before I checked to see it was just mom asking if I made it home from school okay. I sent her a quick text telling her I was going to start my homework before setting off to finding a bowl to put water in. I wasn't sure just how I was going to feed him just yet but for now some lunch meat would have to do. I carefully carried the water bowl and meat to my room before setting it down for him.

"I think I'm going to call you Oliver." I said.

He looked up at me with his head tilted to the side. I changed out of my clothes and into my pajamas feeling like being lazy for the rest of the day. I picked up Oliver in my hands and was fascinated at how tiny he was. He had the most unique coloring, he was tan and white and then had black accents spread over his body. If I had to guess with my limited knowledge of dog breeds I would have to say he was a husky which meant he was going to be a decent sized dog.



"That tickles!" I giggled.

He licked my nose carefully as his tail wagged.

"I think mom is going to like you, I just have to find a way to tell her." I told him.

He barked.

"No! No! You can't make loud noises!" I hushed.

He whined at me.

Raegan's POV

"I'm home!" I called.

Lucas came out of his room before quickly shutting his door like the room was on fire.

"Everything okay?" I asked.

"YEAH! I mean, yeah! Why wouldn't it be?" He asked.

"You're acting funny." I said.

"Sorry, just a long day at school." He said, scratching the back of his head.

"Must be if you're in your pajamas already." I said.

"Don't you have some work to do?" He asked.

I looked at him for a moment.

"I do, but we can watch a movie or something if you want." I suggested.

"NO! No, I have some more homework I can do." He told me.

"Alright..." I said slowly.

I walked into my room trying to ignore the weird behavior coming from my son. I changed out of my work clothes into normal clothes before sitting down at the computer. I opened up my messages from my boss telling me a few topics I could write about this week.



Bark! BARK!

"Shhh you have to be quiet!"

I looked at the wall that connected Lucas' room to mine wondering if I heard right.

Dog whining... BARK!

"What the..." I said.

I scooted my chair back from the desk.

"Lucas?" I asked, stepping into the living room.

Lucas came out of his room closing his door quickly.

"Yes mom?" He asked, looking innocent.

"What was that noise?" I asked.

"Oh, I was watching a SimTube video." He told me.

"Ah, okay." I said.

I was turning back to my room when the barking noise happened again and Lucas let out a quiet groan.

"Alright, what's going on in your room?" I asked.

"Nothing mom!" He said, panicking.

I walked over to his door and he tried to stop me but I opened the door anyway and let out a gasp. There on his bedroom floor stood a small puppy that looked like he was a husky.

"Lucas! Whose dog is this?!" I gasped.

"I don't know! He was lost!" Lucas quickly explained.

"And you were just going to hide it in your room?" I asked.

"Just until I could figure out how to tell you." He said quietly.



"Well, we have to find his owners." I told him.

"We can't keep him?! Mom please I'll take care of him!" Lucas begged.

"He could have a family Lucas." I said.

He looked down at the floor sadly. I sighed and rubbed my hand down my face thinking of the options. I could let him keep the dog and then pay extra for the pet fee, or I could take him to the shelter so they could hopefully find it's owners. I looked at him again and could tell that he really wanted this dog. It had been such a rough year for him and if this could cheer him up who was I to stop him?

"Let's make a deal, okay?" I asked.

"Anything!" He said.

"We make missing posters to hang up around town, and if no one claims him in two weeks then... then we can keep him." I said.

"THANK YOU! THANK YOU MOM!" He screamed.

He rushed over and threw his arms around me.

"But, don't get your hopes up! If someone claims him we have to give him back! If they don't though there will be rules." I told him.

"Like what?" He asked.

"You walk him every day after school, and you have to help feed him. Also your school work has to get done like normal!" I explained.

"Got it! I will do it all!" He promised.

I kissed the top of his head, "Now, finish that homework."

He grabbed his backpack as I looked at the dog. I was going insane, first talking to some new guy and now on the brink of becoming a dog owner in a tiny apartment. What could go wrong?

Welcome Oliver!

[Ally3772]

Chapter Twenty Seven: Baby Steps

If someone ever tells you that the tuna on third street down town is good, they are clearly lying -N

I laughed as I typed out a response.

"What's so funny?" Lucas asked.

I jumped out of my skin almost dropping my phone right into the soapy water I had for the dishes.

"Oh! Um, no one. Just a friend from work sending me a funny picture." I told him.

"Can I see?" He asked.

"No, it's a- an adult humor picture." I said, not as smooth as I hoped.

He shrugged and sat down at the table taking out his homework and setting it on the table.

It's a good thing I don't like tuna then -R

I don't think we can talk anymore -N

I snorted and put my phone down. Nathan and I have been non stop texting back and forth out of no where for the past week. It's helped the nerves of our upcoming meeting though because I'm getting to know him a little bit more. He is divorced with no kids and has two brother and one sister he rarely talks too except for holidays. His ex wife cheated on him with a newer model as he put it but he had no ill feelings towards her. He's a bigger person than I am because I would have been very angry if Ian had cheated on me. His parents live in another state so he rarely gets to see them, but that seems to be fine with him. I stuck with the generic get to know me prompts because I didn't feel like Ian's story was one to tell through text, and I wasn't about to spring that I had a kid on him just yet. I told him about Finley and how she now lived with her parents on a farm. I told him that I was a single child and both of my parents passed away. It's always awkward telling people your parents passed away because there's that silence where they don't know what to say. But Nathan offered his condolences without dragging it out. It turns out he was very funny as well because all of his jokes made me almost snort laughing.

"Mom!"

I jumped, "What?!"

"I've been talking to you!" Lucas whined.

"Sorry, sorry sweetie. What did you say?" I asked.

"I said Oliver popped outside today." He repeated.

"That's great!" I said.

Oliver was proving to be a good dog so far, but it hasn't been a week yet so there was still time. There also hasn't been any leads from the missing posters we put all over town. I was slowly started to let myself get excited about having a dog but I still was holding back in case someone claimed him. Lucas was all in though which worried me because his heart would break if his family came forward. The only time I really had to scold Oliver so far is when he popped on the floor but thankfully it wasn't on the carpet. Lucas cleaned it up without being asked and with no complaining.

"How is school going? Are those kids bothering you anymore?" I asked.

"No, they moved on to this other kid who peed his pants during lunch." He told me.

I sighed, "Kids can be ruthless."

"I tried sticking up for him, but it didn't seem to work." He said.

"Well I am proud of you for doing what you could and I'm sure he appreciated it as well." I said.

...

It was the Friday which meant it was the day I officially meet Nathan. Lucas was at school and shouldn't be home for hours so while I waited for Nathan to show up I cleaned the living room for the twentieth time that morning.

On my way over, now still a good time? -N

Of course! -R

"What am I doing?" I asked myself.

Ten minutes later there was a knock on my door and I rubbed my sweaty palms on my pants. I looked in the peep hole and sure enough there was Nathan standing in the hallway.



I took a deep breath before opening the door.

"Hi!" I greeted.

"Hey Raegan!" Nathan said, smiling.

"Come in!" I said.

I stepped aside to let Nathan into the apartment suddenly worried that I missed something or that a rat was going to come running out of the hole.

"Wow! Look at this place!" He said.

"It's not fancy, but it's home." I said.

"No! I love it, it's nice and cozy." He said.

I smiled.

"Should we sit?" He asked.

"Yes of course!" I said.

We walked over to the couch and I rested my hands on my lap. This was a whole lot different from the texting we have been doing and my heart sped up just looking at him.

"I thought your eyes were green." I said.

"Oh, oh! I sometimes play around with different colored contacts! Just to mix it up sometimes." He told me.

"That's neat! So you need contacts?" I asked.

Was that a weird question?

"Since I was a kid, but I used to have these dorky glasses. Everyone called me four eyes." He said.

"So original." I giggled.



I saw him slowly glance down at my left hand and I quickly tried to hide it. It was so dark at the beach that he probably didn't even notice it. I felt immediate shame for trying to hide it, like I was disrespecting Ian's memory.

"You're um, you're married." Nathan said, suddenly hurt.

"I was, yes." I said, quietly.

"So you're not? Just wearing the ring?" He asked.

"I'm a widow." I said.

I'm suddenly aware that was the first time I said it out loud and I had to fight the urge to not go throw up in the toilet.

"Oh my god, Raegan I- I don't even know what to say. I am so sorry." He gasped.



"No! Don't be!" I said.

"What was his name?" He asked.

"His name was Ian, and he was in a fatal car crash that ended up taking his life." I said.

"I'm so embarrassed, I thought the worst of you for two seconds." He said.

"Well, I can't blame you! I can't imagine the scars you have of your ex-wife cheating on you!" I told him.

"Thank you for understanding." He said.

"So, what do you do for a living?" I asked.

"I hope this doesn't scare you away from being my friend, but I'm currently between jobs." He said.

"Oh! Nothing wrong with that!" I said.

He told me that his last job as a chef kept cutting his hours and giving the new guy raise after raise so he eventually walked out one night. He didn't have a job lined up which was probably not the smartest move on his part but he just couldn't do it anymore. He thankfully had enough money saved up so that he could live for a little while he job hunted.

"A chef eh?" I asked.

"Yeah, I think I'm pretty decent at it." He said.

"Good because I'm a critic." I said.

"You are?!" He asked.

"Yep! I currently write articles for both food and art, but I want to eventually focus on just food." I told him.

"Impressive!" He said.

I did a small bow making Nathan laugh, and his laugh gave me a stomach full of butterflies. We talked for a little while longer about nothing in particular or deep, but it was a nice conversation none the less. I glanced at the clock and realized that Lucas would be home soon and that I needed to wrap things up. It also shocked me that Oliver didn't make a peep this entire time which meant that he was asleep on Lucas' bed which was his favorite place to sleep as of late.

"I hate to end this, but I do have some things I need to take care of." I said.

"Oh! Of course, it was great to talk and hang out Raegan." Nathan said.

"I really enjoyed it too." I said.

We stood up and I walked him to the door where he gave me a small wave before heading out. I closed the door and leaned against it smiling a little at the blooming friendship happening. I wasn't ready for it to develop into something further than friendship just yet, but I had no problems with taking baby steps in that direction. In the end, I had to do what was going to be best for Lucas because he was my main priority. Eventually I would introduce the two of them and if Lucas didn't like him then that would be it. I knew when I had Lucas that my life was changed forever, and I would do everything in my power to keep that little boy happy and safe. Even if that meant putting my own happiness on the sidelines.

Not a whole lot of pictures this time, but I enjoyed just writing! I hope you liked it! =]

[Ally3772]

Chapter Twenty Eight: Unclaimed

"MOM!" Lucas screamed from his bedroom.

I jumped almost dropping my phone.

"Mom!" He screamed again.

He ran out of his room clutching his calendar. He ran over to me frantically pointing to a circled date on it.

"It's been two weeks!" He gasped, out of breath.

"Since when?!" I asked.

"Since we hung up the posters! No one claimed Oliver!" He said.

As if on cue Oliver came trotting up and sat at Lucas' feet.

"Well then, welcome home Oliver!" I announced.

Lucas clapped and bent down to pet Oliver.

"I guess now is as good time as any to bring out his gift." I said.

"A gift?!" Lucas asked.

I walked into my bedroom before heading back into the living room carrying a blue-green small dog bed. He wouldn't fit on it once he grew to be a full sized husky, but for right now it would be perfect. I set it down on the carpet right next to the chest that held the TV and it fit perfectly.



"Look Oliver! A bed!" I said.

Oliver looked at the bed and then up at me like he wasn't sure what he was suppose to do.

"You sleep on it." Lucas told him.

Oliver walked over and stood in front of the couch and barked a few times.



"Maybe he isn't tired." I said.

"New things can be scary." Lucas said.

My phone buzzed.

So, you're talking to a guy who now has a job! -N

Ooo, what kind of job? -R

I'm going to be the best dog walker known to mankind -N

I snorted before typing out a reply.

Mankind huh? That's pretty impressive -R

I'll try not to let it get to my head -N

Too late for that I believe lol -R

"Who is that?" Lucas asked.

"Friend from work." I said.

I slipped my phone in my pocket before getting my jacket on.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"I am going to take Oliver out, do you want to come with?" I asked.

"Yeah!" Lucas squealed.



We walked outside and I placed Oliver on the concrete.

"Go on boy!" I said.

Oliver started off sniffing the concrete looking for the best place to do his business.

"I wish there was a yard." Lucas said.

"I know baby, one day we will have a yard." I said.

I ruffled his hair before kissing the top of his head.

"Why is that lady laying on the bench mom?" He asked.

I turned to follow his gaze and sure enough there was a young girl laying on the bench. She appeared to be sleeping even though it was chilly and a hard bench. I sighed giving myself a few minutes to think of how to explain it to Lucas.

"She may not have a home." I said.

"Oh." He said, sadly.

"I'm sure she is close to getting her own place though." I said.

Obviously I didn't know for sure if that was true, but I wasn't sure what to say to him because I didn't know her situation.



"Maybe she was just tired." Lucas said.

"That is true, maybe she does have a home and was just needing a rest!" I said.

"I forgot to tell you my joke! What did the cop say to the belly button?!" Lucas asked.

"What's that?" I asked.

"You're under a vest!" He said.

I groaned as he giggled, proud of his delivery of the joke.

"That was bad." I giggled.

I was thankful for the sudden topic change as we followed Oliver around until he finally did his business.

...

"I'm home!" Lucas called.

I walked into the living room from the kitchen.

"Hey! How was school?" I asked.

"Great! I think I know what I want to be when I get older!" He said excitedly.

"Tell me all about it! Here! Sit!" I said.

We sat on the the couch as he launched into it.



"I want to be a dog walker!" He announced.

"A dog walker! What brought this on?" I asked.

"I was about to leave school when I saw this guy walking like five dogs mom! FIVE!" He gapsed.

"Five?! That's a lot of dogs!" I said.

"He let me pet them all!" He said.

"Wow!" I said.

"His name was Nathan and he said he had just started the job this week!" He told me.



My heart stopped when he told me his name.

"Nathan you said?" I asked.

"Yeah! He seemed cool, he asked if I had gone to this school, and he even likes dogs!" He said.

I smiled as I screamed internally. He had no way of knowing that I was talking to Nathan as a friend, but I was still nervous that he would catch on.

"Look, I'm glad that you met Nathan and that you know what you want to do when you grow up. However, you have to be careful with strangers Lucas, okay? He could have been using the dogs to lure you away from the school." I said.

"Okay mama, I'll be careful next time I promise."



"I'm going to go work on homework." Lucas said.

"Okay, I'll get dinner going soon." I told him.

My phone buzzed.

I don't think I anticipated this much dog poop -N

What? You're already saying this is a crappy job? -R

...you were waiting for that opportunity to use that, weren't you? -N

You betcha! Nailed it. -R

I don't think we can be friends anymore Rae -N

You'd miss me too much -R

That is true -N



I smiled down at my phone before putting it down to get dinner going. Oliver followed closely at my heels in hopes that I would drop some food for him.

Hi! I'm still here! Oliver is here to stay!! =]

[Ally3772]

Chapter Twenty Nine: Fish Out of Water

"Have a good day sweetie!" I called.

Lucas disappeared behind the apartment door for school and I started my daily routine of cleaning up the apartment.

Ding!

I picked up my phone and looked at it.

What are you up too? -N

Cleaning, what about you? -R

About to go to this bar downtown, you wanna join? -N

In the morning?! -R

Why not! It's not like we're going to get drunk! -N

I thought about it for a few moments. Why not? Lucas would be at school for a decent amount of the day and I was off work! The apartment wasn't that dirty that I would have to say no.

Sure! Which one? -R

He texted me the address while I was pulling up Finley's text messages.

FIN SOS! -R

Oh snap! What's up?! -F

Nathan asked me to a bar! A BAR Finley! -R

So we're calling him Nathan now? -F

FINLEY! -R

Okay okay! Is it just as friends? Or as a date? -F

Well he didn't say the words date, so as friends? -R

Finley called me shortly after I sent the last to go over what I should wear. I didn't want to be too revealing but she still insisted that I should dress like I didn't spend ninety percent of my time in my pajamas. We ended up going with a simple black top that hung off my shoulders paired with a black pair of pants that covered my belly button and flared at the bottoms. I threw on a brown belt and let it hang loosely on my hips for a bit of a pop effect. It gave me Mandy vibes from that one movie from the 70's about a summer love. I hung up with Finley who told me to call her immediately after and went to go put my hair up in a sloppy bun. I looked at myself one more time in the mirror before heading out.

"Raegan?"

I turned around to see Nathan walking up to me.

"Rae- wow!" He gasped.

"You like?" I laughed, jokingly spinning around.

"You look beautiful, I didn't realize we were dressing up!" He said.



"Finley insisted I show that I am capable of dressing up in something other than my pajamas." I said.

Nathan laughed and my stomach did flip flops.

Friends Raegan, just friends...

"Shall we go in?" He asked.

"Yes! I've never been to this place before." I said.

We walked into the bar and it was more of a club, and also appeared to have a karaoke machine. I internally groaned hoping that he didn't have any plans of singing because I was definitely not a singer. It was quiet inside since it was obviously the morning but it was cozy as we walked over to the bar where an older gentleman was tending to the bar. Nathan didn't want anything to drink at this moment but I took a fruity soda while we talked.

"So, no dog walking today?" I asked.



"I have a few later on today! Look at these cuties!" Nathan said.

He pulled out his phone and showed me a picture of a few dogs.

"These ones are my favorite, but don't tell the others I said that." He joked.

"My lips are sealed." I laughed.

I thanked the waiter as he set the drink in front of me.



"Are you sure you don't want anything to eat?" Nathan asked.

"No, I try to stay away from greasy food." I said.

"Oh me too, past me could have lived off of it." He said.

"Ha, I hear that." I said.

He gave me a questioning look.

"That's right, I didn't always look like this." I said.

"Oh! I didn't mean to hint about your weight! I am so sorry." He said.

"No you're fine! I'm not ashamed of talking about it. But yes, I was very heavy a few years ago." I told him.

"Wow, you look great now- I mean I wasn't staring." He stammered.

I smiled as he got all flustered and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Do you want to sing?" I asked.

"What?" He asked.

"There's a karaoke machine, do you want to try?" I asked again.

He looked over his shoulder at the karaoke machine that I dreaded in the beginning. But I was feeling bold and he was obviously nervous and flustered which had me wondering if this may be a sort of date to him.

"I can't sing though." He said.

"Neither can I! We can run this place out of business." I laughed.

We picked an easy song to begin with, one that both of us knew because it was on repeat on the radio.



After a few songs we walked off the stage laughing.

"You sounded fine!" Nathan told me.

"I sounded like a fish out of water! But it was fun!" I said.

I looked at the time and could not believe we had been there a few hours already.

"Oh! I didn't realize it was that time already!" I said.

"Do you have somewhere to be?" He asked.

I bit my lip, "Unfortunately I should get home."

"No problem! This was fun, we should do it again sometime?" He suggested.

"Definitely!" I said.

We stood there nervously for a few moments before we waved goodbye and I headed home.

...

"Mom." Lucas said quietly.

He walked into my bedroom and sat down on the bed looking like he was sad or in pain. I turned around from the treadmill to face him as he looked at the ground before grabbing his mouth.

"What's wrong sweetie?" I asked.



"My tooth hurts." He groaned.

"Oh no! The one that is loose?" I asked.

"Yeah." He said.

"Stay here, I'm going to get an ice pack." I told him.

"Not the ice pack!" He whined.

"It will help with the pain." I said.

I was only gone for two second when I heard Lucas scream in pain. I rushed back to the bedroom throwing the door open.

"What happened?!" I gasped.

"I got it!" He said through his hand.



"Lucas! You shouldn't of pulled it!" I scolded.

"I thought it would make the pain stop, but now it's worse!" He said.

I smoothed his hair as his eyes filled with tears.

"Go get into your pajamas and lay down, I will bring you the ice pack and some pain meds." I told him.

"But I have homework." He said.

"I will help you with it after you rest." I said.



I helped him climb in before bringing in the pain medicine and ice pack. I helped him adjust the ice pack so that it was between his cheek and pillow and kissed him on the forehead.

"If it gets too cold you can take it off, but try to have it on there just a little bit okay?" I said softly.

"Okay mom, thank you." He said.

"Rest well baby, and if you feel up to it we can watch a movie tonight." I said.

I closed the door quietly and headed to the kitchen to see if I could come up with any soft food for dinner. I was passing the bathroom when I heard running water before discovering that the toilet was overflowing leaving puddles on the ground. I cursed under my breath and quickly took care of the toilet first before grabbing the mop from the kitchen.

"Oliver no!" I scolded.

Oliver, who must have snuck in there when I went to get the mop, was now rolling around in the puddle of toilet water.



"Oliver bad boy!" I hissed.

He just looked up at me on his back with his little paws sticking up in the air.

"Come on, now you need a bath." I said.

He whined as if he understood me.

"You did the crime now you get to do the time." I said.



"Mom!"

I was just drying off Oliver when I heard Lucas screaming for me.

"Lucas?" I asked, rushing into his room.

"Mom it hurts!" He cried.

"Oh baby! Scoot over!" I said.

I walked to his bed and laid down as he turned and cried into my chest. I cradled him in my arms like he was a baby again and hummed softly hoping that the pain would subside quickly. Eventually he stopped crying and fell back asleep but I continued to hold him because he was going to be too big to hold like this soon. I kissed the top of his head gently before eventually drifting off to sleep myself.

Happy Monday! I hope your week goes amazingly! =]

[Ally3772]

Chapter Thirty: Conflicted

"MOM! Look!" Lucas yelled.

I walked into the living room drying my hands on a hand towel.

"He's using it!" Lucas said.

He pointed frantically at Oliver who was sleeping peacefully on his bed.

"Aww good boy Oliver!" I said.

"I think he likes it!" He said.

"I do too!" I giggled.



My phone dinged in my pocket and I pulled it out.

Any chance I could come up? -N

My heart stopped as I glanced up at Lucas who was taking a picture of Oliver on his phone.

Umm, now isn't the best time for that. I can come down for a bit? -R

That would work -N

"Hey sweetie, how about you get going on your homework for a little? I need to head outside for a little bit." I told him.

"Can I come too?" Lucas asked.

"No! I mean, no. Not this time, I'll only be gone for a moment." I said.

"But what are you going to be doing?" He asked.

"Just talking to a friend, she needs to talk to me for a moment." I told him.

"Okay." He said.

I watched him head into his room to get going on his homework.



I closed the front door behind me before taking the elevator down to the main floor. I saw Nathan sitting on a bench in front of the concrete wall just staring off into space. It was beautiful outside today, not to hot or cold. The sun was just setting but it wouldn't be dark for a little while longer. I called out his name but he didn't seem to notice or hear me.

"Nathan?" I repeated.

I walked closer thinking that maybe he actually just didn't hear me.



"Nathan?" I asked.

"Wha- Oh! Hi, sorry!" Nathan said, jumping a little.

"Sorry I didn't mean to startle you." I said.

"It's fine, I just wasn't paying attention." He said.

I sat down next to him and rested my hands on my lap.

"Is everything okay?" I asked.

He sighed, "I was fired today."

"Oh no! From which dog owner?" I asked.

"All of them." He said.

"What?! What happened?" I asked.

"It was all a misunderstanding! I walked dogs for a bunch of these ladies in that nice neighborhood and one of them claimed that they saw me kick the others dog! Raegan I swear to you I would never hurt animals! I don't know what they saw but it wasn't that! I tried to explain myself but they all made up their minds to believe the woman who said it. So, now I am back to square one without a job." He explained.

"Oh Nathan, that's horrible! I am so sorry." I said.

"You believe me, don't you?" I asked.

"Of course!" I said.

"Thank you." He said.



My phone went off an incoming text message from Lucas.

I'm done with my homework -L

Alright, I'll be up soon to start dinner! -R

"Everything okay?" Nathan asked.

"Oh, yeah everything is fine." I said.

I put my phone back into my pocket before turning my attention back to Nathan.

"How is everything going at your job?" He asked me.

"Oh it's fine, I'm struggling a little to get to the promotion I need to choose if I want to write about the arts or food." I admitted.

"Anything I can do to help?" He asked.

"That's sweet, but I think I need to practice my writing a bit more." I said.

"There might be some courses you can take at the local college." He suggested.

"I will look into that! But the job and my so- uh sewing which is actually crocheting keep my busy." I stammered.

I giggled awkwardly hoping he didn't catch my almost slip up.



My phone beeped again.

I groaned, "I hate to cut this short but I should really get back upstairs."

"Oh! Of course, I don't want to keep you too long." Nathan said.

We stood up and faced each other, both not sure of what to do next.

"Thank you for coming down to talk to me." He said.

"Anytime, it was nice." I said, smiling.

He stepped close and for one second I thought he was going to kiss me. I held my breath as he gave me a hug which made my skin tingle as I wrapped my arms around him. I felt completely warm and safe as he held me, even if it was only for a few seconds.



"I'll talk to you soon." He said.

"See you." I said.

I waved as I headed back to the apartment.

"Mom look who is up!"

Lucas was standing with Oliver in his arms when I walked through the door.

"Hello sleepy head." I said.

"Ewwww he's licking me!" Lucas squealed.

I giggled as Oliver licked his cheek.



"I'm going to go start dinner." I told him.

I walked into the kitchen and leaned against the counter thinking about the hug with Nathan. I hadn't been hugged by someone like that since Ian and I hated to admit that it felt nice. I looked at the diamond ring on my left finger feeling guilty. I deserved to be happy and I knew that Ian would want me to be happy, but was it too soon? I felt like I was betraying him somehow even though it has been a decent amount of time since he passed away. I sighed allowing myself to feel conflicted as I took hamburger meat out of the fridge. We were still getting to know each other but I would be lying if I said there wasn't apart of me that was ready to see if he was interested in more than just friends.

Happy (early) Thanksgiving to those who celebrate! I hope you enjoy time with friends and family, and of course eat all the delicious food!

[Ally3772]

Chapter Thirty One: Making Room for Happiness

"Moooom! Someone is at the door!" Lucas called.

"Well, answer it!" I called from my room.

"I'm in the middle of something!" He shouted back.

I groaned before standing up from the computer. My boss said that she would be sending out emails for promotion announcements today and I was frantically refreshing my email. I walked out of the bedroom to find Lucas coloring on the floor. I walked to the front door before looking outside of the peep hole before gasping.

"SHUT UP!" I screamed.

"What?!" Lucas asked.

I threw open the door.

"You are NOT here!" I screamed.

There, standing in front of me, was Finley.

"FIN!" I screamed.

I tackled her in a hug as she spun me around in the hallway.



"What- How- What are you doing here?!" I gasped.

"I had a few loose ends I needed to tie up, and what kind of friend would I be if I didn't stop here before heading back?" Finley asked.

"I'm so glad that you did!" I said.



"Who is it mom?" Lucas asked from the apartment.

"It's Finley!" I told him.

"AUNT FIN!" Lucas screamed.

He ran out of the apartment and threw his arms around Finley's waist. Finley hugged him back squeezing him tightly to her rocking him.

"Where is Hannah?" I asked.

"Oh she decided to stay back." Finley said.

I pouted.

"Do you want to come inside?" Lucas asked.

"I would love too!" She told him.

We walked into the apartment and Lucas went back to his drawing on the floor while Finley and I sat on the couch.



"So, how is Hannah?!" I asked.

"She's great! She loves the farm and my parents adore her." Finley told me.

"And Sean? Are they still together?" I asked.

"They hit a rough patch. There was a rumor that he cheated on her, but he was able to prove that he didn't so they're working on it. But they seem to be in it for the long haul from what I can tell." She said.

"That's good." I said.

"And what about you?! What about that bo-"

"WE GOT A DOG!" I yelled, cutting her off.

She jumped as I anxiously shook my head hoping she'd get the hint.

"You did?!" She asked, still confused.

I stood up went into my room before coming out with Oliver in my arms.

"This is Oliver!" Lucas announced.

Finley got up from the couch and stood in front of me to get a better look at Oliver.

"Awww he is so cute!" She said.

"He's not going to stay this size for much longer." I giggled.

"Is he a husky?" She asked.

"Yeah! I found him on the way home from school! Mom made me put posters up to make sure that he wasn't lost, but no one claimed him!" Lucas explained.

"That's cool!" Finley said.



"I was so nervous that the landlord was going to kick us out, but she seemed fine with it!" I said.

"Do you have any animals other than the farm animals?" Lucas asked.

"No, but I think this might convince me to get a dog!" Finley told him.

"I think Hannah would enjoy it." He said.

I glanced at my room wondering if there was an email waiting for me.

"You know what Lucas, why don't you keep Finley company for a moment? I need to check something." I said.

"Sure! Do you want to hear about school?!" He asked.

"I would love too!" She said.

They walked over to the couch and sat back down as Lucas launched into his adventures at school.



I walked into the bedroom and went straight to the computer.

"Come on." I whispered.

I clicked refresh and held my breath.

Nothing.

"Dang it." I hissed.

"Everything okay?"

I jumped as I spun around not realizing that Finley had walked into the room.

"Oh, yeah. I'm just waiting for an email from my boss to see if I got a promotion I've been working on." I said.

"I'm sure you'll get it, maybe she's just running behind!" Finley said.

"Maybe." I said.

"I have to get going, but I wanted to see what that was in the living room? When I tried asking about Nathan?" She asked.

"Oh. I- I'm not ready just yet to tell Lucas anything. I know we're just friends, but Fin- I've been feeling...things." I admitted.

"Like romantically?" She asked.

I bit my lip before nodding my head.

"Oh honey!" She said.

"I feel so guilty." I said.

I covered my mouth before my eyes filled with tears.

"Sweetie, I can't even imagine. But for the short time I got to know Ian I know without a doubt that he would want you to be happy!" She told me.

I covered my face with my hands and cried for Ian, cried for Lucas, and cried for myself. Finley pulled me in her arms and rocked me letting me fall apart, something that I haven't allowed myself to do in such a long time. I didn't expect to ever feel the kind of feelings I was developing for Nathan ever again. I thought I was fine with that but the thought of not being alone anymore was almost comforting. I pulled back and wiped my eyes giving Finley a thank you smile.

"I also need to make sure this will be good for Lucas." I said, wiping a few more tears away.

"He is resilient and may already even suspect something." She told me.

"He is a strong kid." I agreed.

Finley's phone beeped and she pulled it out to look at it.

"You have to go?" I asked.

She sighed, "Yeah."

I pulled her into my arms.

"Come back soon, okay?" I whispered.

"As soon as I can." She promised.



Lucas gave Finley a hug before she left and we both gave her a small wave goodbye.

"I missed her." Lucas said.

"Me too baby." I said.

I kissed the top of his head.

The Next Day

Lucas just left for school and I had the day off of work. I sat at the computer for the first time today and opened up my email to see if I had anything. But before I could look at the screen my phone went off with an incoming text message from Nathan.

Can I come over? -N

Sure! -R

My heart sped up for a whole other reason now. My eyes drifted from the phone screen to the computer screen as I let out a scream.

Hello all,

I am very pleased to announce that Raegan Barnes is moving from her probationary status to an official Food Critic writer for our office! For the time Raegan has been with the company she has shown her dedication to not only the company, but to her coworkers. I believe fully that she will accomplish big things with this company and use her food knowledge to write some amazing articles! Please join me in congratulating Raegan on this promotion, and we wish her the best going forward!

Amy Johnson

"I GOT IT!" I screamed.

There was a knock on the door but my heart was racing.

"Coming!" I called.

I forced myself away from the computer and rushed to the door throwing it open.

"Hi!" Nathan said.

"Hey!" I greeted.

I let him in and he walked into the living room.

"You seem to be in a great mood!" He told me.

"I got some good news!" I announced.

"What is that?" He asked.

"I got that promotion!" I screamed.

"For the food critic?! Oh my god!" He asked.

Before I even knew what was happening Nathan kissed me.



My eyes opened up wide at first, but then I closed my eyes and kissed him back. I pushed aside my guilt to allow room for happiness. Somehow during the kiss that felt like it was lasting forever he spun me around so that I was facing the other direction. He was the one to break the kiss first and a look of shock filled his face.

"Rae- oh my god, I am so sorry." He gasped.

I touched my lips gently with my finger tips before smiling like a school girl.

"Don't be." I whispered.

He searched my face for a sign that I was angry or regretted the kiss.

"So it was okay? Because I know you aren't ready and I do not want to rush anything." He explained.

"Yeah, it was- it was great. But maybe we should try it again?" I asked.

"Yeah?" He asked.

I smiled as he grabbed my chin gently.



We broke apart from our second kiss as we both smiled like a couple of idiots.

"That was nice." He agreed.

I giggled.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" He suggested.

"I think we have time for that." I said.

He grabbed my hand as we sat on the couch and searched for a movie. It was futile though because we just ended up making out on the couch instead.

Well that was unexpected! Right?

[Ally3772]

Chapter Thirty Two: Training

I leave for one day and you kiss someone?! -F

It wasn't like I planned it! -R

I need details!!! Did you sleep with him?! -F

I gasped as I looked at my phone.

"Oh my god!" I groaned.

NO! No I did not sleep with him! -R

There's plenty of time for that I suppose -F

GROAN -R

I put my phone down on the desk and continued my article on my top five pizza places around the town.

"Mom guess what!" Lucas said.

I jumped five feet in the air before spinning around in my chair.

"What!" I said.

"I got an A on my English paper!" He said, waving a piece of paper in the air.

"Really?! Let me see!" I gasped.

He walked over to me handing me the paper with a big red A on the top.

"I wrote it about dogs and how to train them!" He said proudly.

"Wow! I'm proud of you sweetie!" I said.

I kissed his cheek.

"I'm going to go hang it up!" He said.

He dashed out of the room and I giggled. I saved the article where I was at deciding it was time for a break, Oliver needed to go out for a potty break anyway. I told Lucas that I was taking Oliver downstairs and picked him up in my arms. Oliver whined as he wiggled his butt which is what he normally did when he needed to go to the bathroom.

"Hold on little guy." I said.

Once we were outside I placed him on the concrete and he took off running.



It was getting colder which I was not ready for. Winter was my least favorite time of year because I would so much rather be hot than cold. Once Oliver was finished with his business and I cleaned up after him we headed back up to the apartment.

"I found his ball!" Lucas announced.

"Where was it?" I asked.

"Under the couch again." He said.

I took my coat off and got changed into normal clothes before going back into the living room. I sat on the floor in front of Oliver as he played with his recently found ball.



"How was school?" I asked Lucas.

"It was fine, these kids got into a fight though." He said.

"About what?" I asked.

"Some girl. It was stupid and they both got suspended." He told me.

I shook my head.

...

Oliver grew up! Since we weren't sure when he was born we had no way of knowing his actual birthday.

"I can't believe how big he is!" Lucas said.

"I don't think he is going to fit his bed anymore." I said.

"Can we go shopping for a new one after school tomorrow?" He asked.

"I don't see why not!" I said.

"You hear that buddy? You're getting a new bed!" He announced.



Now where we were going to put it I had no idea.

Can I come over? -N

I looked down at my phone.

Now isn't the best time, rain check? -R

As long as you aren't avoiding me lol -N

Of course not! -R

I expected to feel awkward after the sudden kiss but it was the complete opposite.

"Can we have tacos tonight?!" Lucas asked.

"Sure, I think I have the things to make them!" I said.

I walked into the kitchen to look in the fridge.

"Come here Oliver!" Lucas said.



"Stand up boy." He said.

I glanced over my shoulder as Oliver straightened up.

"What are you doing?" I giggled.

"I'm going to get started on training him." Lucas told me.

"You are, are you?" I asked.

"The library has some books on training! I'm going to check them out tomorrow." He said.

I smiled as I started browning the meat. Lucas seemed serious about wanting to become a dog trainer and I wanted to support him but I knew that this was just a phase that he would eventually grow out of. For now though I would let him have his fun because it was cute seeing him so excited about something.

"Okay Oliver, sit!" He instructed.

Oliver just looked at him with a blank stare on his face.

"Sit boy!" He tried again.

Oliver let out a bark.



"You can do it!" Lucas encouraged.

Oliver eventually walked into the living room causing Lucas to groan in frustration.

"I must have done it wrong." He sighed.

"Training a dog takes time sweetie, he's not going to learn it in a day." I said.

"I suppose." He said.

"Why don't you go pick a movie? We can watch it while we eat!" I suggested.

"Okay." He said, still a little bummed.

I smiled before turning back to the taco meet.

Training:

Lucas: 0 Oliver: 1

Oliver is no longer a puppy! Also thanks for over 1,500 views!!

[Ally3772]

Chapter Thirty Three: Moving Slow

"I'm off to school!" Lucas called.

"Have a great day sweetie!" I said.

I heard the door close behind him as I refreshed my email to make sure I was up to date. Work was going great! Everyone congratulated me when I got into the office the next morning after the email was sent. I got my own office with my own desk which I decorated with pictures of Ian and Lucas right away. Amy, my boss, had a cupcake and balloon waiting for me which was sweet of her to do. She had me write a few test articles for her before my first official one was published which happened to be my top five pizza places around town that I had been working on. Everyone seemed to love it which was a major confidence booster for me. My phone beeped letting me know I had a text message.

What are you up too? -N

Working on my next article -R

Feel like going on a date? -N

A...date? -R

Yeah, those things that two people do when they like each other? -N

Ha ha. -R

I stared at my phone wondering what to tell him. I glanced up at Ian's urn as if it was Ian himself looking at me with puppy eyes.

"You're okay with this, aren't you?" I whispered.

Ian and I never had the conversation about what one of us would do if the other passed away. We were like any other couple that never thought they'd have to worry about something like this. I placed a hand on the cool metal of the urn and closed my eyes. I think that Ian would be okay with me taking slow steps to moving on with my life. Besides it wasn't like I was starting to date someone the day after he passed away. I looked down at my phone and typed out a response.

I would love too. -R



I suddenly had a outfit to plan since I probably shouldn't go on my first official date in my pajamas. I dug out almost every piece of clothing I owned before deciding on a simple outfit, nothing too flashy, but something still looked nice. I chose a tan crop top and chose a tan/brown flannel to go over it in case it got cold I could button it up. I picked out a pair of black jeans with some holes in the legs and a pair of knee high tan boots. I brushed my hair and decided to keep it down today instead of putting it up.

"Okay." I breathed.

I took one last look in the mirror before deciding that I looked date worthy. Now if I could just stop feeling like I was going to projectile vomit all over the place. I remember feeling this way when I first started to see Ian. I remember having to pull over on the way to the restaurant we were going too because I thought I was going to puke all over my steering wheel. The date obviously went well even though I did manage to spill his soda all over him when I reached for a napkin.



Nathan sent me the address of the place that he picked. It was a boba tea and thrift store downtown that just opened up last month and the reviews were great so far! Maybe I could write up an article on it for next weeks paper if I enjoyed it. I opened up the door to the cafe and looked around for Nathan but didn't see him anywhere so I decided to go a head and order.

"Hello! Welcome, how can I help you?" The cashier greeted.

"Hi! I will take a banana mango please." I said.

"Excellent choice." She said, smiling.

While I waited for my tea I texted Nathan to let him know that I was here.

Running a bit late! -N

No worries, do you want me to order you anything? -R

You don't have to do that! -N



This place had a very welcoming environment with a soft green and yellow theme throughout the store. There were tables and couches one the cafe side and on the thrift store side there were racks of clothes that people made and sold here. I picked a table next to the sofa and sat down taking a sip of my tea which was wonderful. The door opened and Nathan walked in and immediately spotted me. I gave him a small wave as he made his way to the table.

"It's sprinkling." Nathan said.

"Oh no! Hopefully it doesn't start raining." I said.

"Especially since after this I figured we could take a walk." He laughed.

"That would be wonderful. How are you?" I asked.

"Better now." He said, smiling.

"Still no luck on the job search?" I asked.

"Negative, but something will come up I'm sure." He said.



"Are you going to get a tea?" I asked.

"I don't really like tea." He told me.

"So why did you pick a boba tea place?" I giggled.

"I heard it was good! What did you get?" He asked me.

"A banana mango." I told him.

There was a few second of awkward silence before Nathan started telling me about his childhood and growing up with two brothers that tortured him every chance they got. His sister was his defender which he wasn't proud of because he should be able to stick up for himself. I laughed at the funny parts but my palms were sweating from the nerves.

"Did they like your first wife?" I blurted out.

"Oh, my first wife? As in there's going to be a next?" He asked.

"You don't want to get married again?" I asked.

"Well sure if I meet the right girl, but maybe I already have." He said.

He gave me his winning smile as I took a long sip of my tea while I screamed in my head.



Once I finished my tea I took a look at the clothes that were on the racks.

"Need any help finding anything?" The cashier from earlier asked.

"I'm just looking but thank you!" I said.



"You ready for that walk?" Nathan asked.

"Yeah! Let's go." I said.

He offered me his hand and I took it with a smile. We walked outside to see that it stopped drizzling so we walked around the little park that was across from the cafe. We traded stories of growing up which lead to stories about Ian. It was so weird to talk about him not only in the past tense, but talking about him without crying or feeling that panicked feeling in my chest.

"So then we pull the turkey out of the oven and it just flies across the floor!" I giggled.

"It did not!" He gasped.

"It did! We thought we could save it but then it ended up being raw in the middle still." I said.

"So what did you do?" He asked.

"Ordered pizza, we ate it on the living room floor since we didn't have any furniture yet." I laughed.

Nathan laughed so hard he had to place a hand on his stomach.

"Should we sit down?" I giggled.

"Yes please." He laughed.



"Ian sounded like he was a great guy." Nathan said.

I looked down at my ring and smiled.

"He really was." I said softly.

"So, I have a question to ask." He said.

"Oh boy, should I be scared?" I asked.

He slid closer to me on the bench.

"Depends." He laughed.

"What is it?" I asked.

My stomach was doing flip flops.

"I know that this is technically our first date, but I was wondering if you- if you'd like to keep going out with me?" He asked, nervously.



"Should two people with holy jeans really go out together?" I joked.

He looked down at our legs and laughed.

"So, is that a no?" He asked.

I looked at the ground.

"Like girlfriend and boyfriend?" I asked.

"Well, we don't have to label it if you want." He said.

I bit my lip and thought for a moment.

"Nathan... I- I have something that I haven't told you about." I said.

He looked nervous.

"Like a secret?" He asked.

"Kind of." I said.

He grabbed both my hands in his, "What is it?"



I started to speak but the second I opened my mouth it started to rain.

"The timing." Nathan laughed.

"Should we go back to the cafe?" I asked.

"No, there's a gazebo over there." He said.

We sprinted to the gazebo even though it wasn't raining too hard. We took a seat on the bench that was on the back of the gazebo and I took another deep breath.

"Now, where were we." He said.

I picked at my jeans thinking of the best way to start this.

"I don't know how to tell you this, but I'll start off by saying that I understand if what I'm about to tell you changes things. I in no way expect you to stay if this is something you don't want in your life." I said.

"Rae, what is it?" He said.

He didn't say it in a mean way, but in a caring and sweet way that made my heart swell.

"I haven't been completely honest with you about a big part of my life. Nathan, I-"

I took a deep breath blinking back tears.

"I have a son." I whispered.



Nathan looked at me for a few moments and my heart stopped beating for those moments. We haven't reached the topic of kids and I knew that he didn't have any children of his own from his first marriage. I wouldn't blame him if he decided to walk away because children are a huge responsibility.

"You have a son?" He asked.

I nodded, blinking back nervous tears.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked, taking one of my hands.

"I was scared that it would scare you off. I felt horrible for keeping him a secret, but I wanted to make sure that you were going to be something serious." I said.

"You didn't want to bring anyone into his life that was just going to leave him." He offered.

"Yes! I didn't like lying to you Nathan, but my first priority is him and I don't want to cause anymore trauma to him." I explained.

"Raegan, you don't have to explain anything. I completely understand, okay? I can't even imagine losing your spouse and have a child to raise." He said.

I covered my face with my hands and cried into them.

"Sorry, I don't know why I'm crying." I sniffled.

"What's his name?" Nathan asked.

"Lucas." I said.

"Well, I can't wait to meet him when you are ready to introduce us." He said.

"What? You- you don't want to walk away now?" I asked.

"Raegan, I know we are still new to this, but the thought of walking away from you- I- I want to see where this goes. That being said I in no way want to replace Ian for you or for Lucas. He will forever be apart of your life and that will never change." He said.

"I- I don't know what to say." I whispered.

"Say that you want to see where this goes as well." He said.

"On one condition." I said.

"What's that?" He asked.

"I get to do it as your girlfriend." I said.

Bold move, but it was now or never.

"Done." He said.

He smiled as he leaned forward and kissed me.



"One more small thing I want to add." He said.

"What?" I asked.

"I know you still wear your wedding ring, and that is absolutely fine with me, but you take it off when you are ready. Even if down the line we get engaged you can wear both if that's what you choose." He said.

"You're being so understanding." I whispered.

"Like I said, I can't imagine how hard it is to lose a spouse, but I do know how hard grief is. So we do it in your own time, just let me know what I can do to help you and Lucas." He told me.

"Thank you." I said.

Finley was going to freak out when I told her about everything that happened today.

"Now, tell me about Lucas." He said.

I grinned as I started to speak.

Welcome in Nathan!

[Ally3772]

Chapter Thirty Four: The Truth

"Where were you?"

I turned around to see Lucas standing by the front door.

"Lucas! I didn't see you there!" I gasped.

"Where were you?" Lucas asked again.

He looked upset.

"Come here sweetie." I said.

I bent down to hug him tightly.



"How about I make us some hot chocolate?" I asked.

"NO! I'm tired of all the lies!" He snapped.

"Lucas! What brought this all on?" I asked.

"You're always working, and if you're not working you're on your phone! I ask who you're talking too and you brush it off as one of your friends! But who is your friend mom?!" He asked.

I opened my mouth to say something, but this took me by complete surprise. He waited for a few more minutes for an answer and then scoffed before walking towards his room.

"Lucas! Wait! Okay, come here." I said.

I walked over to the couch as Lucas reluctantly followed and sat down next to me. I took a deep breath trying to come up with the best words but then I realized if I did that we would be here forever. Maybe there wasn't such a thing as the perfect way to tell your child that you were testing out the waters and dating again.

"I have been working a lot, but now that I got that promotion I can cut back a little and even work at home. If I slacked at being your mom in anyway I deeply apologize and will do my best to be better. Okay?" I said.

"I didn't mean anything bad by that mom, I know you're working hard for me." He said.

"I am, I want the best for you sweetie." I said.

"So what about who you text all the time? Is it Finley?" He asked.

"Sometimes, but not all the time." I said.

"Moooom." He groaned.



"Okay, okay. I have been talking to someone that isn't Finley." I said.

"A guy?" Lucas asked, quietly.

I took a deep breath, "Yes, a guy. I met him that night that we went to the beach. Remember that night? I was standing in line and he was as well. We've been talking ever since."

"Are you dating him?" He asked.

I took his hands into mine.

"He recently asked me out, and I said yes. But listen, if you aren't okay with it or aren't ready then I call him right now and I tell him that I change my mind." I said.

"No questions asked?" He asked.

"No questions asked, without a doubt." I said.



Lucas looked at the floor and I gave him all the time he needed to figure out how he felt. I wouldn't lie, changing my mind about Nathan would hurt. But I would take that hurt over and over again if it meant keeping Lucas happy. Lucas kicked his feet a few times before looking back at me biting his lip.

"I want you to be happy mom." He said.

"I appreciate that, but you also have to be happy." I told him.

"I am, and I stand by what I said a while back that dad would want you to move on and be happy." He said.

"I haven't gone into this lightly because I do feel guilty about moving on. We're taking things slowly so that no one gets hurt or rushes into things." I said.

"Can I meet him?" He asked.

"When you are ready we can make that happen." I told him.

"I would like to meet him." He said.

I smiled, "Then, I will set it up."

"Thank you for telling me mom." He said.

"I'm sorry I kept it from you so long. I just wanted to protect you because you are my one and only priority." I said.

"You need to be a priority too." He said.

I looked at him.

"How did you get so wise?" I asked.

"What can I say, I am the best." He said, acting smug.

I laughed and pulled him into a hug before we stood up.

"You will forever be my little man." I said.

I knelt down and kissed his cheek.

"Mooooooom." He groaned.



"See, Oliver is even embarrassed." He said when I stood up.

I laughed, "Are you Oliver?"

Oliver gave us a look as he continued to stand in front of the couch.

"So what's his name?" Lucas asked.

"Nathan." I said.

"Does he have kids?" He asked.

"No he doesn't, but he is excited to meet you." I said.



"Does he know about dad?" He asked.

"Yes, and he is so understanding about it all." I told him.

"That's good." He said.

"Listen, how about we order a pizza and I tell you more about him?" I asked.

"I get to pick the toppings!" He said.

"Well of course." I said.

I put my hand on his shoulder and we walked into the kitchen. He handled all of this so well that I wondered why I kept it from him as long as I did. I just hoped that he did like Nathan, but from what I could tell I think the two would get along well once they got to know each other. I sent Nathan a text telling him that I told Lucas about him and that he wanted to meet him. Nathan also had to be ready to meet Lucas since this would be an adjustment for him. I listened to Lucas chatter about school and about the new books he picked up from the library on dog training. He managed to officially train Oliver how to sit which was pretty impressive since he had very little knowledge on training.

Kind of a short chapter, but hoping to get another one done tomorrow!