Chapter 1 - Bonnie & Clyde Of The Moon (Except Not)
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Our story begins far away from anywhere else a story has ever begun before. Well, for me, at least. I just picked up Lunar Lakes from the store after reading the bios of some of the Sims living there. This world is
weird, man. Weird layout, weird buildings, weird stargate-like-things for rabbit holes, weird trees, weird colors, weird everything. But two Sims who live here piqued my interest, so I dove right in, eager to tell their story.
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One of them lives at this (ahem) weird house that’s sort of shaped like an N for no reason I can figure out. It’s right near the Crystal Mines, which provide an eerily beautiful backdrop. Who knew that that shade of cyan grew in nature? The man in the moon, probably.
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This is the home of Lars Royal, a jobless, skill-less, middle-aged guy with a wild personality (Daredevil, Excitable, Party Animal, Mooch, Kleptomaniac) and a bit of a “collecting” problem. His house is by far the strangest house I’ve ever played in - packed with stolen goods, with three actual dumpsters as living room decor, and all of it cohesively alarming in its color scheme. It’s so strange that I forgot to take any good interior screenshots.
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The first thing Lars did when I pressed play was head for the stereo and start boogying down to classical music. I was so prepared for his bad boy side, but instead I got an immediate glimpse into who Lars really is: a sweet, kinda sentimental guy who just wants to listen to violin concertos and have a good time. So far, anyway.
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You know what makes good times even gooder? Having a girl to share them with! After a brief solo dance party, Lars hopped on the phone and called up a woman he was “Distant Friends” with.
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An hour or so later, Noela Spector arrived on the lot, looking rather…spectral.
As soon as I read about Noela Spector on the Sims Wiki, I wanted to play her. And when I read about Lars, I wanted to play
him. And then I thought about playing them
together. A vision unfolded vividly in my head: a daredevil duo, a Bonnie and Clyde of the moon, stealing things, wreaking havoc, hoarding stuff in their backwoods bunker painted in neon colors, and of course having a passionate, tumultuous romance. They were PERFECT for each other. I just knew it!
And they were already Distant Friends, so just a few simple interactions were needed and they’d be on their way to love!
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“Hey, Noela. Thanks for coming over. How’s your day going?”
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“Um, please don’t ask me about my day. I Dislike Children.”
“...”
Uh, yeah. That is literally what happened. Lars asked Noela about her day. Noela rejected the question. And I got the little notification that said “Lars has learned that Noela Dislikes Children.”
What?!
Okay, fine. New tactic.
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“That’s no problem, Noela. We can work up to that.”
“What do you mean, ‘work up to that’?”
“Once we move in together. As founders of this Random Town Jump. That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?”
“I’m here because you called me and asked me to come over. I didn’t realize you were going to want to chat so much. And no one told me about this Random Town Jump. Is this one of those stupid watcher challenges?”
Within about five seconds, it became clear that Noela was…on the prickly side. I’d never had a Sim reject entirely neutral interactions before. “Chat”, “Gossip”, “Ask about day”, all of them got shot down.
Maybe Lars would get through by showing his Daredevil side?
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“Oh my
God, Lars. What is wrong with you?!”
“It’s just a bit of rock dust! Come on, Noela, live a little! I’ve collected everything on this lot, so I know where it came from. This is safe to eat as long as you spit it out afterward.”
That look of horror will probably follow me into my nightmares tonight.
Lars continued trying to improve their relationship with friendly socials, but Miss Spector was having absolutely none of it. The only interaction she accepted was “Ask about age” (part of a mod I have installed). She was perfectly happy to inform Lars that she was 33 days younger than him. But with anything else, she just got mad.
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“Okay, Noela, I’m sorry if I came on too strong. But we have a lot in common, don’t you think? We both live on the fringes of this eerie moon town, we’re both criminals--”
“I’m going to stop you right there.
You steal garbage from dumpsters that you dragged into your living room.
I actually have a job at the Orbital Distribution Center. I’m the only
real criminal here.”
Lars responded to this by popping a wish to “Meet someone new”. I’m not joking.
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“Hey, how about this? I know a good joke about criminals! One time--”
“Don’t bother.”
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“Noela,
please. I’m just trying to be friends with you, that’s all.”
“
You’re the one asking all the boring questions. I take no responsibility here.”
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Oh, dear. After hours of frustration, Lars finally gave up, and so did I. At least for the time being. During that painful conversation Lars also rolled a wish to throw a party. A party it is!
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Lars and Noela did actually manage to squeak up into friends territory, but only because their group outing was technically a good one (even though Noela said the usual thing about “someone having unresolved issues”...you’re one to talk, Noela!). She even stuck around to throw her entire body into a dumpster before the party started.
At this point, I was at a loss for what to do. My plans for my founding couple had unraveled. I guess I should have known better than to assume my two chosen Sims would magically fall for each other. Maybe somebody promising would show up at the party? In the meantime, I decided to let Lars unleash his interior Party Animal. What did he have to lose?
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Noela, apparently.
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“How DARE you say
‘Wooo!’ to me. I am a
LONER!”
That might have been the final nail in the coffin. (Side note: I’m pretty sure Noela sleeps in a coffin.)
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The party had surprisingly good turnout. Lars invited everyone he knew, which wasn’t a lot of people. They all started dancing to Lars’s classical station and sneaking bites of the autumn salad he’d made and left out after lunch.
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It wasn’t long before somebody else caught Lars’s eye. He was already almost friends with Anais Wilheim, and when she came right up to him to ask him about his day, I immediately felt some relief. Finally, somebody actually pleasant to talk to!
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It was a hoppin’ party. There aren’t a ton of activities to do in just base game, but luckily you don’t need any expansion packs to install NRaas Woohooer. People started making free use of Lars’s bed right out in the open. And no one batted an eye! (I think that’s a setting I need to adjust.)
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Lars got talking to Anais again, even trying a little bit of a flirt - and there were sparks. (Upon considering Noela’s attractiveness, he’d declared her “pleasing to the eye”; Anais, however, was described as “blindingly stunning”.)
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To top it all off, as the party was ending, Anais was the only guest to tell Lars that his party was great. Everybody else was all like, “Meh, it was all right.”
I was still a little devastated that my daring devilish duo had not materialized, but Lars really seemed to like Anais, and she was certainly treating him much better than Noela ever did. Maaaybe this was going somewhere good.
