Chapter 29
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When Jonathan came over to discuss what happened, they were surprised that he was in a worse mood than Susan or anyone else. âHi, Uncle Jonathan! Momâs been reading about bats and sound waves to see if thereâs something that can be engineered as a dog-whistle like alarm to annoy Fangstalker away, and Dad has James out on the back patio and⊠are you okay?â
Susan looked up from her book. âYeah. You look more miserable than I do, and Iâm the one who got chomped. You mustâve had a hell of a day.â
âWell, I wasnât about to make it all about me after your undead stalker came back for a midnight snack, but⊠yeah, today bit the big one.â
She shot him a look. âReally?â
He rolled his eyes. âOh, donât you start, too. I didnât mean it that way.â
âOkay. But that phrasingâŠâ
He gave her the same look back. âGoing to say âsuckedâ?â
âNow that
was on purpose.â
âYeah, okay. Sorry. Like I said, itâs been one of those days. Between my last shift being nothing but llama loads from beginning to end, finding a fresh stack of bills in the mailbox from the living bloodsuckers going after Mom and Dadâs estate that Iâve got to forward to Miss Hellâs office, and Maaike giving me a bunch of crap over stupid plum this morning,â he rolled his eyes and made a face, âonly to find out youâve been attacked again by Mr. Creepy Fangstalker, Iâm about on my last nerve.â He sighed. âSo, how are you? Are you all right?â
âIâm tired, my neckâs sore, and I feel like I donated a pint too many at the plasma drive, but otherwise, Iâm fine. Physically, anyway. Psychologically, Iâm absolutely infuriated. Not to mention incredibly creeped out that he got in and attacked me
again. It seems heâs powerful enough that he can turn into mist and teleport through walls, so apparently garlic and any talismans and wards that are supposed to work are all utterly useless against him.â She set her book on the couch and followed him outside with Blair. âI am curious about whatever you did that set Maaike off, though.â
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âNice. You automatically assume it was my fault?â he retorted as Susan went over to the bassinet and picked up James while Blair sat down with Boyd at the chess table.
âHi, Jonathan,â he greeted him. âHowâs it going?â
âUgh. Donât ask.â
âAh. One of those days. Sorry to hear it.â
âItâs all right. Not your fault.â
âNo. He said it was Maaikeâs,â Blair added.
Jonathan pointed a finger in her direction. âHey, donât tell Maaike I said that, or Iâll never hear the end of it.â
âBut itâs what you implied,â Susan said. âSo, what happened? Just a loverâs spat?â
âI thought you were staying neutral in this kind of thing.â
âIâm just offering a friendly ear as someone that knows you and how easily you put your foot in your mouth. If you were to leave the details ambiguous enough for me to maintain neutrality, I might still be able to nudge you in the direction of the apology you probably owe to help smooth things over between you two, thatâs all.â
âMmm-hmm. Well, in the spirit of fairness, I hope youâd nudge her the same way, because it was my plum that got jumped out of nowhere this morning because she was in a mood. Just saying. Now keep that to yourself, and Iâll say no more about it.â
âFine, if thatâs what you want.â
âIt is. Besides, I came here to help you deal with Fangstalker, not talk about my drama.â He waved his hand dismissively. âSo, why donât you hand me my nephew and let me see how dorky you and Boyd have made the poor kid so far, and you tell me in detail what happened.â
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They also invited the Vatores over so they could brainstorm together, but they arrived much closer to dusk, as one would expect. To everyoneâs surprise, they brought another friend with them, Markus Crow. Although no one, including him, explicitly stated such, it was an easy assumption from his demeanor and familiarity with Caleb and Lilith that he was also a vampire. He was a rough-looking man with piercing red eyesâcontacts, one would presume, if they did not know otherwise. He was styled as a rocker and appeared to be about the same age as the Vatores, although if he was a vampire like them, their true ages were anyoneâs guess. He was friendly, however, and had a surprisingly upbeat and playful attitude for someone with red eyes and dressed all in black leather. Boyd chatted with him for quite a while.
Inside, Lilith sat on the couch and talked with Jonathan and Blair. âNice to meet you, Lilith. Sorry I missed my chance the first time when I got called in to work from the Humor and Hijinks festival. They told me about you and your brother and how youâve been helping them deal with Vlad.â
âYes. Iâm sorry he went after Susan again. I knew he would.â She sighed. âI tried to talk him into leaving her alone, but when it comes to his pet favorites, heâs downright obsessive.â
âYou mean stalkerish and psychotic.â
âThatâs another way to put it, yes.â
âHe did you that way, too, huh?â
âBoyd told you?â
âHe mentioned it in passing, but itâs in your body language, too.â He gave her a sympathetic look. âIâve got a psych degree. I use that stuff on the job a lot, so I notice that kind of thing. Sorry you went through that.â
âIt was a long time ago. Iâm past it now, and Iâve made my peace with it. It just rubs me the wrong way when I see it happening to someone else.â
Blair looked from Jonathan to Lilith. âHow come you still talk to him? Youâre a vampire now, too, and you have the same powers he does. He canât bite you anymore.â
She gave her a wan smile. âI wish it was that simple to be done with him, but itâs not. Old vampires like Vlad are very powerful, and they have a sort of sway over the vampires that they make. Not like complete control, but an influence to an extent. Itâs almost like being your parent, but as a vampire. Thereâs always a connection there, whether you want it or not. Vlad created me, so Iâll never fully be rid of him. Even if I ran off to the wilds of the Selvadorada jungle swearing Iâd never see or speak to him again, he could track me down if he wanted, which he probably would, because what Vlad hates more than anything is being told âno.â His ego is the size of Mt. Komorebi, and he canât stand anyone not giving him or doing what he wants. After so many years, Iâve come to realize that the best way to handle him is to try and talk some sense into him when I can.â She sighed again. âBut he rarely listens. To me or anyone else.â
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Caleb asked Susan to chat in private to discuss questions he had about the attack. âAll right, but Iâm not sure what you need to ask me that my family canât hear.â
âItâs nothing personal about you exactly. There are just some things I wanted to talk to you about that I thought might be too sensitive for Blair given her age, and I wanted to leave it up to you to decide if she was ready to hear them or not.â
âAll right. Sheâs used to us talking as scientists, so she can take some bodily fluid discussion without a freak-out, but she was pretty upset the night of the attack, so I appreciate you considering her feelings.â
âNo problem. Vlad didnât try biting her, did he?â
âNo, not as far as I know, thankfully.â
âGood. I donât think he will, not yet anyway, since sheâs still way too young for the vast majority of our community to consider, but I just wanted to make sure. She has your plasma profile, though. You know that, right?â
Susan nodded, a pit of dread in her stomach at the reminder.
âThat means youâll have to have that âtalkâ with her at some point along with all the other âgrowing upâ talks. The âVladâs going to think youâre fine diningâ talk.â
She knew that already on some level, but having Caleb spell it out just made it that much worse. Vladislaus stalking her was bad enough, but knowing that he would eventually stalk Blair when she matured was absolutely gut-wrenching. âI know. Poor Blair.â
âI wish I could tell you Vlad wouldnât do that, but unfortunately, I know him. For what itâs worth, heâll probably leave your son alone. James inherited Boydâs plasma profile.â
âThereâs that at least.â Susan eyed Caleb curiously. âI know itâs weird, but I canât help but ask. Does my and Blairâs type really taste that much better?â
âTo Vlad it does. Be honored, you meet the esteemed high requirements of Count Vladislaus Straudâs personal plasma snobbery,â he intoned on a faux snooty note. âItâs funny to me because I consider myself a foodie even after this many years as a vampire, but Iâm not as obnoxious as him. Yes, I still eat and enjoy mortal food on occasion, believe it or not. I never let my stomach wither. But as far as plasma goes, different flavors appeal to different vampires. Just like with mortals, tastes are subjective, and Vlad is a stuffy old plasma snob the same way old money rich types with nectar caves and bottles worth thousands of simoleons get haughty about their nectar. Heâll drink anything if heâs thirsty enough, but given the choice, he wants the good stuff and keeps a list. Kind of like Father Winterâs naughty and nice, except itâs more like âexquisite,â âexcellent,â âacceptable,â âreasonable,â âpassable,â and as long as heâs been around, heâs well-traveled with it. Guess where you are in Brindleton Bay?â
Susan sighed. âI always was an overachiever. What about Boyd and James?â
âSomewhere between acceptable and reasonable, I think, depending on how caffeinated Boyd is. Vlad hates getting the jitters. Speaking of that, though, Lilith would disagree. Sheâd take Boydâs over yours, hands down. She enjoys his particular base profile, and she used to be a coffee snob and was addicted to caffeine. He would be like fine nectar to her. And Markus? He could give two plumbobs about the base profile, as long as itâs a heavy thick plasma full of triglycerides. Let him catch your brother on a stakeout amped up with takeout and donuts and heâd be salivating. Youâll usually find him looking for his prospects late at night around food stands or bars. Itâs hilarious when he gets tricked by someone who ordered some huge deep fried whatever as a treat only to find out they eat healthy most of the time and he gets what he calls âskim plasma.â You should hear him rant about the waste of time.â
âAnd you? As a foodie, did that change to being a plasma snob yourself?â
âWhen I have it, I enjoy a variety of flavors. Iâm not like Vlad, though. I appreciate any friend who lets me drink willingly. But I donât like hurting mortals and I donât hunt them or drink from the unwilling. A lot of the time I just buy plasma packs of donated plasma or create my own with plasma fruit or the old-fashioned fish and frog recipe. Vlad calls that subsistence living, but they have an interesting taste and there are some creative recipes online if you know where to look.â
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The Vatores, Markus, and Jonathan visited well into the evening, and after moonrise, Boyd spoke with Caleb out back while everyone else was in the living room. âFrom everything weâve talked about, thereâs nothing to stop Vlad from coming back, is there? There never was.â
âOther than his own sense of decency, no. We hoped we might be able to appeal to whateverâs left of that, but once again, we overestimated whatâs there. There are times Lilith says she doesnât think heâs as far gone as I do, but I half-wonder if thatâs because sheâs, you know, his.â
âIt really affects you that much, huh?â
âMore than you like sometimes. I think she forgets what it was like when we were first turned. What it did to her and Lily, hell, all three of us. Maybe that makes it easier for her. Or maybe itâs Vladâs influence that does it, blurs the memories. I donât know. I admit I donât really like thinking much about those days, either. Neither of us are who we were then anymore.â
âAnd youâre not his, right?â
âNo. My creatorâs Missy. Sheâs one of Vladâs, which technically makes him my grand-creator. But as far as vampire bonds go, thatâs very weak. Not that it stops him from trying to tell me how to live my life and butt into my business all the time. So donât let him try and wear Susan down with that line, that if she joins him, itâll be over. Because no, itâll just be a different eternal llama load. Sheâll endure what Lilith does, forever.â
Boyd frowned. âSusanâs not considering it.â
âI didnât say she was. I was just saying that Vlad might try that line of reasoning. He did on Lilith.â
âAnd Missy, too, I imagine.â
Caleb chortled. âDoubt he had to. Missy was into that. You donât know her. Sheâs not Vlad, but⊠thereâs a reason I brought Markus into this and not her.â
âWhich brings me back to why weâre here tonight. What
can we do about Vlad at this point? He canât just keep coming in and biting Susan! We canât live like this!â
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âHe can, and will,â Caleb emphasized. âRealistically, youâve only got a couple of options. You can try and make yourselves as inaccessible and unappealing as possible, and hope Vlad loses interest and moves on. Itâs⊠possible, but itâll completely disrupt, uproot, and make your lives miserable, more so than now. Think witness protection, but from someone harder to evade than organized crime. My cousin Lily pulled it off, but it was a hell of a price to pay, ending up a werewolf. Arguably worse than what I am, and the Watcher knows Iâve got my own issues with my vampirism, and I doubt you or Susan or Blair want to go there, either.â
âAnd our other options are, what? Just give Vlad what he wants? Rip out the garlic and have Susan and Blair, when sheâs old enough, just extend their necks and tell Vlad to have at them and please just donât hurt them too bad and be gentle like a nice abusive llama?â Boyd wanted to vomit with disgust as he said it. âI rarely presume to speak for Susan, but I think I can safely say itâd be over both our dead bodies that weâd be all right with handing Blair or James over to that. I will say itâd be over my dead body, and yeah, I know Vlad would oblige. As for Susan, if she ever did have to give herself over to that, I can almost guarantee you that itâd be as a last resort and probably only be to protect Blair or James, and living like that would wreck her! In case you havenât noticed, sheâs a proud and very independent soul. Being forced to be Vladâs pet slave snackâŠâ
âI get it. I do. And Lilith and I
will do what we can to help, but as you can see, I canât promise we can stop Vlad. Heâs very old, heâs very powerful, and heâs the single most stubborn and arrogant llama Iâve ever had the displeasure of meeting. We can warn you when heâs around, we can give him plum, we can try to change his mind, we can give you inside information and tricks and tips and try to run interference where we can, butâŠâ
âBut thereâs nothing you can do to make him make him stop barging in and biting her if heâs determined to do it.â
âUnless you want me to turn you two into vampires yourselves so youâre my fledglings and only his âgreat-grand-disappointments,â thatâs about it.â He gestured for them to sit at the Wainwrightsâ patio chess table for a game while they continued their conversation.
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âIs that what he calls you? A grand-disappointment?â
âI consider it a badge of honor.â
âWell, I appreciate your nuclear option offer, but no. You vampires are fascinating, but I donât want to be one. Or a werewolf for that matter.â He paused. âThough itâs interesting that both times you and Lilith brought it up, you mentioned how it caused a rift with your cousin when it sounds like she only did it to avoid Vlad. If you donât mind my asking, why is that? I know thereâs rivalry between vampires and werewolves, but I wouldâve thought that was more of a cultural thing, and it wouldnât apply to someone you already knew and cared about.â
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Caleb closed his eyes. âItâs a long story and more complicated than that, but it runs deeper than cultural, as you put it. Vampires and werewolves have a long history of detesting each other. Itâs not so much personal with us and Lily, but the clannishness of all the others, the influence of Vlad, of her pack⊠Weâve kept our distance
because we care, not because we donât. At least on our end. Iâd like to think itâs the same for her.â
Boyd found that interesting. Insight into both Caleb and Lilith on a personal level, and insight into the greater vampire and werewolf communities as well, the latter of which they knew very little about comparatively. He made a mental note to browse the archives on that at work when he had the time, and cross-reference what werewolves might know about their weaknesses. He had never met a werewolf that he knew of. None worked at lab, at least none who were open about being such.
âBe careful if you go poking around Moonwood Mill,â Caleb warned, picking up on his thoughts. âEven in broad daylight, when itâs not the full moon, the wolves react unpredictably to nosy outsiders. Some might be nice and welcoming to humans. They might even seem civilized and normal. Lilyâs pack claims to be like that. Others? They might just be kind because they think youâre prey or a plaything. Someone to hunt or add to their pack, whether you like it or not.â He moved his pawn. âSound familiar?â
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He tried not to let the mind-reading get to him, but it was one of those things about vampires that certainly did. âHeh. Feral Vlads?â
âYes, and at least Vlad makes a pretense of having some civility first. And he bathes. May not change his wardrobe more than every century or two, but he knows what a shower is and doesnât have fleas. Some of those WildfangsâŠâ Caleb wrinkled his nose in distaste before resuming his usual charming demeanor. âAnyway, just be careful. Vampires like Lilith and I arenât welcome in those parts any more than the wolves are welcome in Forgotten Hollow. We canât protect you there. If you
do go for some âscientific researchâ like you did in my town,â he stared at him intently, âkeep your wits about you and bring that freeze ray if you go anywhere but a very public place. Theyâre stronger than they look, with keener senses, even in human form. And whatever anyone else tells you, no matter how interesting it sounds, donât go anywhere near anyone or anything related to someone named Greg. Just donât.â
âOkay, but now Iâve got to ask. Whoâs Greg?â
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Caleb locked eyes with him, the moonlight reflecting across his pale features in an ethereal way that sent chills down Boydâs spine, a subtle reminder of what he truly was, and was capable of, as he spoke in a low and serious tone. âIâll put it this way. Heâs someone even Vlad would rather not deal with, and before you wonder if the enemy of your enemy might be your friend,
donât. Heâs not.â
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Although Calebâs warning about Greg only intrigued Boyd more, it did sufficiently rattle him enough to heed his advice about poking around in Moonwood Mill for now. However, he did search the occult archives at the lab during downtime. His workload was such that he could not spend hours going through it, and he was not able to find anything on anyone named âGregâ specifically in the werewolf research, although he did find two references to a man named Greggorius Lunvik and mentions of other members of an ancestral werewolf family line bearing that surname. He had no idea if that was who the mysterious Greg was or not, though.
The rest of what he came across he mostly knew already, aside from some specifics about the effects of the lunar cycle and the deeper history the werewolves had with the spellcasters. Boyd did not know they had originated amongst them, and that vampires had been the same, both essentially experiments gone horribly wrong. âNow thereâs some proof that you can screw up with magic as catastrophically as you can with science,â Boyd mused darkly. He wondered if any spellcasters had ever worked at the lab. They might have been able to have some real fun bending the laws of physics, he imagined, before an alarm signaled it was time to get back to work and check the results of an experiment.
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After taking off his glasses briefly to give his eyes a break from staring at a microscope too long, he asked his colleagues what they knew about werewolves and the vampire-werewolf rivalry. âWerewolves?â Supriya asked, surprised. âIs that what you were poking around in the archives looking up? What do you need to know about them for?â
âI was just curious because I know vampires donât like them, andââ
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Kalamainuâu laughed. âSure! I think I know the real reason. After all, youâve been casually asking vampire questions for a while and I wondered, knowing how geeky you are, but this cinches it. I never wouldâve pegged you for a
Dusk Glow fan, Boyd. How adorable!â She cackled again. âWhat other preteen romance series are you secretly a fan of, huh?â
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âOh, youâre hilarious,â Boyd groused, even as Supriya also started laughing over at the chemistry station where sheâd returned to check on her serum.
âYou did make a comparison to one of the characters last week,â she pointed out, much to Kalamainuâuâs amusement, but not his. While sometimes Kalamainuâuâs pointed remarks could be funny, there were times he found them grating and obnoxious, and clearly meant to troll and needle. This was one of them.
âMy daughter reads it and talks about it, and we took her to see the movies. Of course, I know what it is, and how accurate it may or may not be, although no, that is
not the reason Iâm curious, thank you very much.â
âOkay, Mr. Touchy.â Kalamainuâu hand-waved away his irate reaction. âI get it. You want to find out for
Blair.â
Boyd let out an aggravated sigh and lowered his voice. âIf you must know, and please keep this in this room if you donât mind,â he gave both her and Supriya pointed looks before continuing, âI have a little ongoing vampire issue. Meaning Iâve had some run-ins, without saying more, out of respect to the identity of occult statuses involved, which I imagine is something someone like you might appreciate, Kalamainuâu. Iâd like to know what all said vampires might be capable of, how to stop them in an emergency, and Iâm curious about how werewolves might factor into such a situation.â
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That brought Supriya back over. âWait. Do these vampires live in Brindleton Bay with us? Do any werewolves? Should I start growing garlic and wolfsbane in my herb garden or being extra careful letting my pets out on full moons?â
âNo. Not as far as I know. This has been going on a while, so if they havenât bothered you yet, they probably wonât. Like I said, I donât want to get into it too much, but one of them has been a real pain in the plumbob.â
âNot the neck?â
âReally?â Boyd shot Kalamainuâu another look.
âOkay, sorry. Iâll be serious.â
âAnyway, like I was saying, and please keep this between the three of us, this seems to be a thing with my family. You should be fine. Itâs just that one of them Iâm on better terms with mentioned something about werewolves and it got me curious. Thatâs all. So, I thought Iâd see what we know about them here.â
Supriya was relieved, but also concerned. âWell, Iâm no expert, but one thing I do know is that vampires and werewolves are both dangerous. Youâre lucky you havenât gotten bitten⊠or have you?â She gave him a double take. âThey didnât bite or try to turn you, did they?â
âNo. I havenât as of yet. Fear not, I have no valid work excuse to dodge that annoying collection work in the desert sun and stick one of you with it.â He figured it was better to just not mention the part about Susan since it would just worry her needlessly, as he doubted Vladislaus or any of the others were interested in Supriya or her family at present. âBut I donât suppose either of you know anything about them you could tell meâŠ?â
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âHah. Seriously, I donât know much about vampires or werewolves,â Kalamainuâu admitted. âMy people know about as much about occult land-dwellers as you regular humans do. Like Iâve said before, I took this job to learn about the mysteries of the world beyond the sea myself. So, I canât help you with any insider information there.â
âOur archives said they both came from spellcasters way back when, as experiments gone wrong.â
âIf thatâs the case, then I doubt the spellcaster community wants to talk about them, either,â Supriya mused. âI know Iâm not particularly proud of my screw-ups. But maybe you could try going to Glimmerbrook and asking. Might be safer than Forgotten Hollow or Moonwood Mill, since we donât have any spellcasters, vampires, or werewolves here that I know of.â
Kalamainuâu raised an eyebrow. âUnless you get a cranky one that doesnât like nosy outsiders asking questions, and they turn you into a frog for asking. Besides, their highest sages that would be the ones most likely to be experts on that kind of thing reside in another realm. That much I do know. Thatâs also where their knowledge is kept. You might find some spellcasters out and about here sometimes, like you can occasionally find my people on land, but their power lies there, like ours does in the sea.â
âIâve heard that, too. I wouldnât know how to get there, anyway.â Boyd sighed and glanced at the clock. âBut Iâve got an experiment Iâve got to get back to before it goes kablooie, so Iâll have to think on it. Thanks for the brainstorm session, though.â
âNo problem,â Supriya replied. âStay safe. Remember, theyâre dangerous.â
Kalamainuâu nodded with her. âYeah. Watch your neck, no pun intended. Or if youâre dealing with wolves, anything they could chew on. I hear theyâre not very discriminating.â
âNot if theyâre anything like Blue.â Supriya wrinkled her nose as she went back to her workstation. âSilly dog came in with the nastiest rotting dead crab in her mouth the other day. Stank up the whole kitchen.â
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The conversation with his co-workers left Boyd with some food for thought as he finished his experiment and moved onto another project, upgrading the labâs sim ray prototype with a transform feature. That was something he was especially excited about, being able to transform matter from one state of being to another in such a way. As he applied the upgrade, he could not help but wonder. If it was a success, and it worked, would such a thing work on, say, an ancient vampire who wouldnât leave his wife and potentially, in the future, his daughter alone? True, the ethics of such a thing were highly questionable, but a dark part of him could not help but think ethics never troubled Vladislaus Straud. Would it really be so wrong to just transform him into a fence post if he came around and tried to bite Susan again? It was not like they had not warned him repeatedly to buzz offâŠ
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Of course, such a scenario was pure fantasy, twisted or not, if the ray did not even work. Boyd had to test it, regardless, and it was company property. Most likely he would never even do such a thing if it came down to it. Technically, it would be a crime if turning someone into an inanimate object was murder. But was it? Because vampires were already dead, or undead, which was not quite alive, and could you really kill something wasnât technically alive? True, vampires had consciousness, but by some spiritual beliefs, they had no soul, and that was as good as dead by some belief systems. Though Boyd was not sure how courts, or even his own conscience, ultimately, would rule on that. He did usually not relish hurting others, even llamas. He liked to think of himself as a decent guy. But he did genuinely despise Vladislaus, so it was tempting to make an exception in his case, with an acceptable amount of guilt afterward. Provided it happened in self-defense, or in defense of Susan, Blair, or James, anyway.
He pondered this as he went out onto the patio to test the sim ray upgrade on a folding chair. He left his glasses inside in case the experiment blew up. Insurance would not cover a new pair for three more months if they got damaged, and his prescription was pricey.
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When the folding chair morphed into an infantâs mobile, Boyd was both thrilled and intrigued. It worked! The randomness was unexpected, though. While they were not entirely sure how the molecular destabilization would pan out, they had expected a tad more predictability to it. At least, a similar type of chair, or other piece of furniture. He supposed that a mobile was furniture, technically, although not in the sense that he imagined. âHmm. Thatâs an interesting development.â He noted it in his observation data and looked around, his previous train of thought chugging through his mind once more. What would a vampire turn into? An object? A bat? Or perhaps just a human? Or maybe a spellcaster? What if he turned into something unexpected like a mermaid?
Wouldnât Kalamainuâu love Vlad for a swim buddy? he thought with a dark smirk as he imagined him in that dusty old coat sporting a fish tail. That gave him another idea. Was there a way to change a vampire to something else like a mermaid, a werewolf, or even a regular spellcaster? Or were they too far gone for such a thing? Perhaps that was something he and Susan could look into as well. It was food for thought, at any rate. He made a mental note to follow up on that as he picked up the mobile and headed back inside to finish his work for the day.