Chapter 5
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Once she had fed the chickens and taken care of the garden, Norah vacuumed the spare room. Just before going out, she realized she was still wearing the dress that Agnes Crumplebottom had objected to, the one that showed her knees. It was a warm spring afternoon, so Norah decided to wear her new dress. The socks she wore with it would cover her knees, so Agnes could hardly complain.
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And it got a very appreciative look from the pirate, whom she met at last. "Ahoy, fair maiden," he said. "Do ye ken where an old salt might find some grub?"
"The pub is right over there," said Norah.
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"Ah, but I'm a terrible navigator on land. At sea there aren't any kissable maidens to distract me. Could ye pilot me there?"
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Norah did and recommended the bangers and mash. While he waited for his order, she told him that his argument with Agnes Crumplebottom was the talk of the town.
"And ye want to ken the story behind it."
"If you're willing to tell it," said Norah.
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At that moment the pirate was called to the counter to pick up his meal. "Does the pub offer rooms to weary travellers?" he asked Sara Scott.
"No," she said, "but you can rent a house over in Bramblewood."
"And how much might that be?"
"About 600 simoleons a night."
The pirate winced. "Too much for me."
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"I have a spare room," said Norah.
"And how much might ye want for the use of it?"
"The story behind your quarrel with Miss Crumplebottom."
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The pirate considered. The food was good, the view intriguing, and the prospects pleasant. If he couldn't board this particular bonny cutter within a few days, he would eat his hat, plume and all.
"Fair dinkum, as they say in the Antipodes," he agreed.
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"Many years ago, in my youth, I sailed with Ponce de Leon on his expedition to find the Fountain of Youth.
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"It was an arduous trip through the jungle, beset by rain and all manner of nasty creatures," he continued. "Each of us seamen had to take his turn with a machete. I would have preferred using my cutlass, but the thick vines dulled the blade terribly.
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"At long last we came to the pool that the ancients had built to capture the spring waters.
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"The captain permitted us each to take a drink of the water and to bottle up a small portion of the elixir, enough to take home to our sweethearts."
"But Ponce de Leon never found the Fountain of Youth," Norah interrupted.
"He never advertised that he found it," said the pirate.
"But how did you know that it wasn't just ordinary water?"
"We didn't then, but now -- I sailed with Ponce de Leon several hundred years ago, and I look as hale as any man in his twenties, I fancy."
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He continued his story. "We spent several weeks repairing our ship, and several of us would while away the evenings with card games."
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"One night I won Bernal's bottle from him -- by cheating. I could tell Spurlock suspected me, and so I left, crossing the island under cover of darkness. I found another ship on the other side -- a pirate ship as it turned out. Having strayed from the straight and narrow, I realized I couldn't be particular in the choice of my companions, and I sailed with them."
"But why did you want two bottles?" Norah asked.
The pirate smiled at her. Sardonically. "I always was one for the ladies, and I realized I would never have just one sweetheart.
"After many adventures as a pirate, I found myself in Henford-on-Bagley."
"How?" asked Norah. "We're nowhere near the sea.
"That was an important consideration. Some people were looking for me, and I wanted to be farther inland.
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"There, or rather here, I met two beautiful ladies -- cousins. I wooed Miss Agatha Crumplebottom first.
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"And later her cousin Agnes. We spent many a delightful hour together -- separately, I should say, for the one never kenned I was romancing the other.
"Tragically, our time was cut short, for first Agatha, then Agnes grew old. Shakespeare might have said of Cleopatra, "Age cannot wither nor custom stale her infinite variety," but for most women, age does wither.
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"I left them my two bottles of elixir, with instructions to drink the contents. I would return in a few years, I promised, and when I did, they would be immortals and young again. Alas, it made them immortal but not young."
"And that's why Agnes is angry," said Norah.
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She showed him his room, glad that she'd thought to vacuum away the dust bunnies earlier that day.
"So is my story sufficient for a stay of two or three days?" he asked. "And perhaps a kiss?"
Norah agreed. "I dreamed of you the other night," she said, after his quick kiss. "Even though I hadn't seen your face yet, it was definitely you, with the blue-green eyes and the scar. You asked if I would be your mermaid."
The pirate smiled with delight. "And what did you say?"
"That I couldn't swim."
"If you became a mermaid, you would automatically be able to swim," he said. "And then you could swim alongside my ship as we traveled the world."
"No," said Norah.
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He sighed. "Well, if you won't be my mermaid, will you at least let me kiss you again?"
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Norah agreed, and when the kiss ended, she pulled him back again for another.
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One morning she awoke, and the other side of her bed was empty. The spare room was empty, too, except for a pearl necklace on the foot of the bed.
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Norah tried on the necklace. It was pretty, but it reminded her of someone -- Agnes, she realized in horror.
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She snatched off the necklace and hurried to the bathroom to throw up.