Errand Runner (new, Sept 11)

[MarianT]

ERRAND RUNNER

Chapter 1

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Norah Mills did not move to Henford-on-Bagley because she wanted to start a dynasty or a legacy. She wanted to have children sometime, but that was all in the distant future.

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She moved there because she inherited a house from her grandfather, and because she needed to get away from her dead-end cubicle in the big city.

It's not much, he wrote, but it's all I could afford after I sold my bigger farm in Old New Henford to the Crumplebottom cousins. Farming is not an easy life, and what with taxes, the weather, and my sciatica, I'm a poorer man than I used to be.
About the Crumplebottoms -- you can make friends with them by running their errands, and you'll be able to pick up some cash, too. When it's time to negotiate for my old place, talk to Agnes. She might have a sharp tongue, but she's not as fond of money as Agatha is. Good luck, and don't forget to buy a pair of wellies. Affectionately, Grandad

Norah turned the piece of paper over and looked again in the envelope. There were no additional instructions -- no skills she should obtain, no friends she had to make. Just run errands for the Crumplebottoms, make enough money to buy the old farm, and buy wellies. "I've got this," she said to herself.

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The house had everything necessary -- except central heating. Norah sold the television set, which gave her a little extra cash once she'd taken care of the heating problem.

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She also bought a couple of chicks, a hen and a rooster. With their eggs and what she made from the garden, Norah hoped to be able to make some money.

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Simon Scott met her at the door as she prepared to go into the village. "Welcome to the neighborhood!" he boomed. Norah invited him inside, but Simon hesitated. "I should wait until Sara shows up," he said. "She'll want to welcome you, too."
They talked for a few minutes while Norah kept glancing at the fruitcake. She wasn't really a fan, but it was food, food she didn't have to grow or buy. Finally, she had to say good-bye. "I have to get to the shops before they close. There's absolutely nothing in the fridge." Simon failed to take the hint.

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As her grandfather had predicted, Agnes did have a couple of errands for her. She wanted some milk and she wanted Norah to give the other shopkeeper, Kim, a scolding for flirting.

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Norah bought the milk from Kim before administering the scold -- which she apologized for immediately afterwards. "S'okay," Kim said. "There's not a day goes by that Miss Agnes doesn't get on my case about something. Take my advice -- don't ever let her catch you flirting with someone. Even talking to a man might be dangerous. She keeps her handbag full of simoleons -- the coins, not the paper money."

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Kim had some errands, too, so Norah went into the pub to buy a meal for her. Evenings in Henford-on-Bagley tended to be chilly, so Norah changed into her winter clothing even though it was spring on the calendar.

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While she was there, she met Cecelia, another refugee from cubicle living, although Cecelia had brought her computer with her and was working freelance.

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Kim had a couple more requests after Norah delivered the meal. She needed a dozen eggs for her customers, and could Norah give this rose to the Creature Keeper? Norah was not happy about the rose. She almost asked Kim if she'd read "The Courtship of Miles Standish," but decided not to. Maybe the Creature Keeper kept a creature who liked roses.

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Back at home, Norah settled down for a few chapters of her favorite book, The Untamed Treachery of the Heart. She knew that she would never meet anyone like the main character's heartthrob, but a girl could always dream.

[oshizu]

This is such a wonderful beginning.
I giggled at the reference to cubicle living because it reminded me of Stardew Valley.  `
Looking forward to following Norah on her countryside adventures!

[NimbleSimlble]

Looking forward to seeing what Nora gets up to! A great start to a country tale

[MarianT]

@oshizu, yes, I think Cottage Living bears some resemblance to Stardew Valley. I could have given Norah a different background, but decided to go with the cubicle.
@NimbleSimlble, thanks for reading!

[MarianT]

Chapter 2

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No doubt about it -- Henford-on-Bagley was as pretty and picturesque a village as you might find.

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It was also damp. Norah took her grandfather's advice and got a pair of wellies. Also a raincoat and rain hat.

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Trudging out to the Creature Keeper's cottage, she found herself wishing that she had a faster mode of transportation -- a bicycle, perhaps, but one that could be ridden in mud.

Michael was a bit dismayed by the rose. The best thing that could be said was that he didn't think it came from Norah personally. He told her to give Kim his warm regards and handed her a couple of mushrooms. After a short struggle with her conscience, Norah decided to plant the mushrooms. She really needed to find some way to make money.

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With a little sugar and some strawberries, she could make fruit preserves, but they didn't bring in much.

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Cross-stitching actually was a loss. After she'd bought the hoop and the wool for 80 simoleons, the finished product was worth only 58. She listed it on Plopsy, but was afraid that no one would be interested in what was clearly a first effort.

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Kim was visibly disappointed in Michael's response to her rose. Norah felt guilty about the mushrooms, and she gave her one of her jars of strawberry preserves.

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Kim came over that evening for a chat. "There are other fish in the sea," Norah tried to console her.
Kim snorted. "Not this sea," she said. "How many eligible bachelors have you met?"
"Well, other than Michael, none," said Norah, "but I haven't met everyone..."
"And you could go to every house in the village and surrounding countryside, and you still wouldn't meet any other men who were young and unattached," said Kim.
"Windenburg isn't too far away," Norah pointed out.
"I can't leave the shop and besides, I would have to go through the Hollow, and that place scares me."
"I think it's okay during the daytime," said Norah.
"But I work during the day," said Kim, at which point Norah quit making suggestions.

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Meanwhile, Norah's chickens grew up. She named the rooster Silver and the hen Copper. They started producing eggs immediately, and one day, she learned that one was hatchable.

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Norah hurried out to the coop and held the egg in her hand. She could just see a thin crack in the shell.

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The next thing she knew she was holding a yellow chick, and the broken shell was falling to the ground. Norah was so excited she didn't even find out whether it was a rooster chick or a hen.

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Thanks to an errand that she did for the Mayor, Norah was able to get the lovely and spicy mushrooms that Sara Scott had asked for. Sara gave her some milk and flour in return and also a meal.

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It was a cottage pie and very tasty.

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Norah took on another errand for Michael. The chocoberries were easy to find, but she would have to wait until summer for spicy mushrooms. Walking through Bramblewood she came across a tree with wild birds. After admiring them for a while, she found that she was able to add a tree to her lot. She had just enough simoleons to pay for it.

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Soon after she set up the stump, Rahmi Watson came over to talk. And talk. Evening drew on, but she was still there.

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"Would it be okay if I stayed here a while?" Rahmi asked. "I'm still mad at Tom and if I go home, we'll just quarrel." Norah went on to bed, making sure that The Untamed Treachery of the Heart was tucked safely away. The last thing Rahmi needed, she felt, was spicy reading material.

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The next day, she tried to have a friendly chat with Agnes Crumplebottom. "Your knees are showing," Agnes hissed.
Norah was tempted to point out that both Cecelia Kang and Rahmi Watson regularly went out in clothing that showed off their knees, but the glint in Agnes's eye made her bite her tongue.
"Only shameless hussies show their knees in town," said Agnes.

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Norah told Cecelia about the encounter the next day, when she saw her at the Finchwick Fair. "Honestly, she had the same look in her eye that Silver gets just before he pecks me," she said. "But you're all dressed up today -- a hat and everything."
"I'm going into the city," said Cecelia. "My - um - sister is having a baby, and she's not well. I need to be there for her."
"That's too bad," said Norah. "I hope it all turns out well."

The Fair was something of a disappointment. Norah got a white ribbon for participation, but it was obviously a consolation prize. Of course, her ordinary white egg had been up against a green egg and an orange one, so she wasn't surprised. Next fair, things would be different.

[MarianT]

Chapter 3

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"Can you do me a favor?" Mayor Chopra asked Norah. "There's some kind of gossip going around, but I don't know what it is. Whenever I get close enough to a group of people to listen, they stop talking and move away from each other. I don't think they're gossiping about me, but I'd like to know what they are talking about."

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"I haven't heard any gossip," said Kim. "Of course I did see a pirate over at Agnes Crumplebottom's booth yesterday. He was wearing the most gorgeous boots -- not the thick-soled clodhoppers people wear to muck out the cow shed, but the kind that pirates wear for sword-fighting on a heaving deck slippery with salt water. I bet he keeps a knife tucked away in one of them."

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"He called her Aggie," one of the patrons of the bar supplied.

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"And she asked him how many other women he'd bamboozled since the last time she saw him."

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"I heard that she scolded him for being an unnatural son who never visited his mother," said a different patron.

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"And then she swung her handbag at him, and they had a big fight."

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"There was no fight," said Sara Scott, "That's not what I heard, but there's no doubt Miss Agnes threw the first punch -- or should I say purse?"
Norah thanked everyone for filling her in, and went back to talk to the Mayor.

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But Norah hesitated. A pirate? A fight with Agnes Crumplebottom? Maybe she should try to sort fact from fiction. Derek and Ian would have solid information, she thought.
"He was definitely dressed like a pirate," said Derek. "His tricorn hat had a plume the length of my arm. And he had wide shoulders and slim hips, quite dishy, actually. But there was no fight that I saw."

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"I didn't see anything," Ian said regretfully. "I was chatting with Sara in the bar. Anyway, Norah, your grandfather left something with us for you."
He handed her an envelope. Inside was a letter and a stack of simoleon bills.

Dear Norah,
I've left this money with Derek and Ian so the taxman won't get it. It's not enough to buy a farm, but it might make things a little more comfortable for you. Did I remember to tell you that bunnies can help with weeds and birds with bugs? Anyway, they like presents -- handcrafted, in particular, like cross-stitch and wood carvings.
Oh, and if you like mysteries, try and find out why Agnes and Agatha have never grown old. They were elders already when I arrived in H-o-B many years ago, before you were born. I wish I knew what their secret was.
Hope you're settling in well. Affectionately, Grandad
The sum of money came to 2500 simoleons.

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Norah immediately bought herself a bicycle. Not only did it help her get around more quickly, but it was fun to ride, too.

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"I guess that explains why no one wanted to tell me the gossip," said the Mayor. "I told Agnes that the next time she attacked someone without provocation, I would have her arrested. People might not have wanted to get her into trouble."
"They said that the man did address her as Aggie," said Norah.
The Mayor sighed. "I guess that might be considered provocation. Well, I'd just as soon not arrest her, so that's an end of it. But thanks for finding out about it for me."

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That evening, before going to bed, Norah looked out her window and saw the pirate. His boots were soft and supple and probably held a knife. And the plume in his hat was too long to come from a chicken. He was everything that Kim and Derek had said he was. She turned away from the window, but then went back for one last look. The pirate was gone.

[MarianT]

Chapter 4

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That night Norah dreamed of him. "Why are you still wearing your hat?" she asked.
"So you'll be able to recognize me," he said.
"Where did you get that scar?"
"In Barnacle Bay," the pirate answered. "Hey, will you be my mermaid?"
"But I don't know how to swim," said Norah, and at that point she woke up.

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The rest of the day, Norah kept thinking about her dream. What had it all meant? she wondered, while she weeded her watermelon.

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She had never seen the pirate's face, so had her imagination supplied those features?

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Would she ever see him in real life? (Her cross-stitched cowplant was so cute that she decided to keep it.)

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Only when she tried to bond with the bees in the hive she had just bought did Norah think of something else.

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One of the local lads, Nick Chun, was waiting on the porch when she finished with the bees. She chatted with him a few minutes. He followed her inside and then pranked the toilet. She finally told him to leave. She slept that night without dreaming.

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Cecelia called the next day. "I'm home," she said. "Would you like to come over?"
"Sure," said Norah. "How is your sister?"
There was a pause. "She's no longer with us," said Cecelia.
"I am so sorry," said Norah, giving her a big hug when she arrived. A baby's cry startled her.

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"That's Penelope," said Cecelia. "Come and meet her."
"She's adorable," said Norah.

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They went downstairs after Penelope went back to sleep.
"I heard about Agnes Crumplebottom's encounter with the pirate," said Cecelia. "Was he really a pirate or just someone dressed up like one?"
"We don't know," said Norah. "But I dreamed about him the other night, and he was a pirate then. But it started me thinking..." She told Cecelia about the man who had been on her porch the night before. "Maybe I should start looking for someone to date? Or maybe keep a dog."
"Dating sounds like a lot more fun," said Cecelia. "I have a list of the eligible bachelors of Windenburg. There aren't any in Henford."
"There's Michael Bell," Norah began.
"He's okay, if Urk with the water voles is your favorite character in Cold Comfort Farm," said Cecelia. "I went out with him once, and that was enough."
"Michael seems to me more like Dickon in The Secret Garden," said Norah. "But you're right -- not someone to date."
"And the Romance Festival is this weekend," Cecelia added. "Perfect."

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The first two people on Cecelia's list were Joaquin and Sergio. Joaquin wasn't Norah's type, and Sergio, it turned out, was already dating someone else.

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She had met Gunther Munch already, and didn't particularly want to meet him again. He seemed very attached to his mother.

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Marcus Flex had a build to rival the pirate's, but his conversation centered mostly on how many reps he'd done that morning with how much weight.

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Paolo Rocca was good-looking, but also lacking in the conversation department -- unless you were interested in the statistics of the Llamacorn players of the last ten years. "I've been a fan since I was 12," Paolo had told her. "When they offered me a job as a locker room attendant I was thrilled."

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Norah went to the Romance Festival even though she didn't have anyone to go with. That was a mistake, she found, as nearly everyone attending seemed to be in a relationship. She scurried past a couple throwing rose petals at each other and found her way to the Romance Guru. "Do you have any advice for me?" she asked.
"A life without love is not one worth living," was the answer.

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Great, thought Norah. A crowd had gathered, and everyone wanted to know their romantic destiny. Norah raised her hand, too, and the Romance Guru looked straight at her when she said, "It is closer than you think," which was a non-answer if Norah had ever heard one.
Sadly she returned home. There were chickens to be fed, fruits to be preserved, and cross-stitch patterns to try. Maybe if she kept busy enough, she wouldn't feel that a life without love was not worth living.

[MarianT]

Chapter 5

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Once she had fed the chickens and taken care of the garden, Norah vacuumed the spare room. Just before going out, she realized she was still wearing the dress that Agnes Crumplebottom had objected to, the one that showed her knees. It was a warm spring afternoon, so Norah decided to wear her new dress. The socks she wore with it would cover her knees, so Agnes could hardly complain.

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And it got a very appreciative look from the pirate, whom she met at last. "Ahoy, fair maiden," he said. "Do ye ken where an old salt might find some grub?"
"The pub is right over there," said Norah.

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"Ah, but I'm a terrible navigator on land. At sea there aren't any kissable maidens to distract me. Could ye pilot me there?"

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Norah did and recommended the bangers and mash. While he waited for his order, she told him that his argument with Agnes Crumplebottom was the talk of the town.
"And ye want to ken the story behind it."
"If you're willing to tell it," said Norah.

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At that moment the pirate was called to the counter to pick up his meal. "Does the pub offer rooms to weary travellers?" he asked Sara Scott.
"No," she said, "but you can rent a house over in Bramblewood."
"And how much might that be?"
"About 600 simoleons a night."
The pirate winced. "Too much for me."

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"I have a spare room," said Norah.
"And how much might ye want for the use of it?"
"The story behind your quarrel with Miss Crumplebottom."

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The pirate considered. The food was good, the view intriguing, and the prospects pleasant. If he couldn't board this particular bonny cutter within a few days, he would eat his hat, plume and all.
"Fair dinkum, as they say in the Antipodes," he agreed.

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"Many years ago, in my youth, I sailed with Ponce de Leon on his expedition to find the Fountain of Youth.

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"It was an arduous trip through the jungle, beset by rain and all manner of nasty creatures," he continued. "Each of us seamen had to take his turn with a machete. I would have preferred using my cutlass, but the thick vines dulled the blade terribly.

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"At long last we came to the pool that the ancients had built to capture the spring waters.

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"The captain permitted us each to take a drink of the water and to bottle up a small portion of the elixir, enough to take home to our sweethearts."
"But Ponce de Leon never found the Fountain of Youth," Norah interrupted.
"He never advertised that he found it," said the pirate.
"But how did you know that it wasn't just ordinary water?"
"We didn't then, but now -- I sailed with Ponce de Leon several hundred years ago, and I look as hale as any man in his twenties, I fancy."

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He continued his story. "We spent several weeks repairing our ship, and several of us would while away the evenings with card games."

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"One night I won Bernal's bottle from him -- by cheating. I could tell Spurlock suspected me, and so I left, crossing the island under cover of darkness. I found another ship on the other side -- a pirate ship as it turned out. Having strayed from the straight and narrow, I realized I couldn't be particular in the choice of my companions, and I sailed with them."
"But why did you want two bottles?" Norah asked.
The pirate smiled at her. Sardonically. "I always was one for the ladies, and I realized I would never have just one sweetheart.
"After many adventures as a pirate, I found myself in Henford-on-Bagley."
"How?" asked Norah. "We're nowhere near the sea.
"That was an important consideration. Some people were looking for me, and I wanted to be farther inland.

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"There, or rather here, I met two beautiful ladies -- cousins. I wooed Miss Agatha Crumplebottom first.

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"And later her cousin Agnes. We spent many a delightful hour together -- separately, I should say, for the one never kenned I was romancing the other.
"Tragically, our time was cut short, for first Agatha, then Agnes grew old. Shakespeare might have said of Cleopatra, "Age cannot wither nor custom stale her infinite variety," but for most women, age does wither.

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"I left them my two bottles of elixir, with instructions to drink the contents. I would return in a few years, I promised, and when I did, they would be immortals and young again. Alas, it made them immortal but not young."
"And that's why Agnes is angry," said Norah.

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She showed him his room, glad that she'd thought to vacuum away the dust bunnies earlier that day.
"So is my story sufficient for a stay of two or three days?" he asked. "And perhaps a kiss?"
Norah agreed. "I dreamed of you the other night," she said, after his quick kiss. "Even though I hadn't seen your face yet, it was definitely you, with the blue-green eyes and the scar. You asked if I would be your mermaid."
The pirate smiled with delight. "And what did you say?"
"That I couldn't swim."
"If you became a mermaid, you would automatically be able to swim," he said. "And then you could swim alongside my ship as we traveled the world."
"No," said Norah.

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He sighed. "Well, if you won't be my mermaid, will you at least let me kiss you again?"

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Norah agreed, and when the kiss ended, she pulled him back again for another.

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One morning she awoke, and the other side of her bed was empty. The spare room was empty, too, except for a pearl necklace on the foot of the bed.

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Norah tried on the necklace. It was pretty, but it reminded her of someone -- Agnes, she realized in horror.

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She snatched off the necklace and hurried to the bathroom to throw up.

[TheGoat]

I like where this story is going so far, Marian. Good job.

[MarianT]

@TheGoat, thank you!

[MarianT]

Chapter 6

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By the time she left the house, Norah was quite sure that the pirate was gone for good. She wanted to talk to someone -- someone older and consoling, but she quickly decided that a chat with the Henford Hens was not what she needed.

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"I've been very foolish," she told Derek and Ian.
"About the pirate?" said Ian. "We heard."
"But oh, he was perfectly gorgeous to see/The Pirate Don Durk of Dowdee," said Derek.
"Who?"
"It's from a poem* by Mildred Plew Meigs," said Derek.

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He handed the book to Norah and she settled down to read it.

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"It sounds as if she knew him," said Norah, after finishing the poem. "I especially liked the line, 'as wicked as wicked could be.'"
"I doubt that she knew your pirate," said Derek. "She published the poem almost a hundred years ago."
Norah kept her mouth shut. If her pirate really had sailed with Ponce de Leon, a single century was nothing to him.
"There's one good thing about gorgeous people," said Ian, who was chopping vegetables, "they make gorgeous babies."
"But I'm not--" Norah felt a wave of nausea and quickly excused herself.

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Derek met her in the hall after she had finished throwing up and cleaning up. "There's a pregnancy test in the medicine cabinet," he said.
"Thanks," said Norah. "But I have to ask -- what are you guys doing with a pregnancy test?"
"It came with the house," said Derek. "And besides, you never know -- they say aliens have a particular fondness for old men.
"Anyway, you should talk to Cecelia -- maybe the two of you can trade baby-sitting duties. And about those pearls you don't want to wear, they might fetch a pretty penny in San Myshuno."

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Norah remembered that she had promised to share any gossip she heard with Sara Scott. "I guess I don't need to tell you that I'm the latest topic," she said.
"Your fling with the pirate is old news," said Sara. "The latest is that Rahmi Watson has gone."
"With the pirate?" asked Norah.
"That's one school of thought," said Sara. "The other is that she left on her own. Some people were suggesting that Tom might have caught her and the pirate together and did away with both of them in a crime of passion, but apparently Rahmi was alive long enough to withdraw 10,000 simoleons from the bank account, so that bit of gossip is  a non-starter."

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"I suppose you've heard," Norah said, when she went over to Cecelia's.
"About the pirate, yes," she said. "That you were expecting, no."
"Are babies easy to take care of?" Norah asked.

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"Why don't you go upstairs and play around with Penelope?" Cecelia suggested. "It'll give you a little practice."
Penelope was sweet, cuddly, and soon ready for a nap.

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"The thing is, babies are easy, but toddlers are a nightmare," Cecelia said, when Norah came downstairs. "I have a proposal to make -- that we combine households and live together for a while. "That way you could look after Penelope and your little one when I have a programming job to work on, and I could look after the two of them when you need to run some errands."
Norah thought about it for a while, but she soon said yes.

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She bought the lot in Old New Henford that her grandfather had wanted her to get and had a house built in the pouring rain.

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Then she went to fetch Cecelia and Penelope.

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The inside of the house was a sort of a duplex -- Cecelia's half on the right, consisting of a bathroom, a nursery, and a bedroom/office. Norah's was on the left, with a bathroom, nursery, and bedroom. The kitchen, living room, and front porch were shared space.

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As was the garden in back, although it was mostly Norah's responsibility.

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Norah got the llama she had wanted and named him Woolly Bully after a song her mother used to play. He was not naturally green; that happened after she fed him a treat.

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Penelope soon discovered that the tent in her room was perfect for naps.

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And Cecelia was able to make the most of her naptime, taking on a freelance job that brought in 2500 simoleons.

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It wasn't long before Claudia joined the household. "The Romance Guru told me that a life without love was not worth living," thought Norah, "but I definitely have someone to love now."

*Many thanks to my college buddy Michael for bringing "The Pirate Don Durk of Dowdee" to my attention.

[oshizu]

This is such a delightful story.
Thank you for unraveling the mystery behind the Crumplebottom cousins' immortality.
How wonderful that Nora finds the love of her life without losing her independence and freedom.

[MarianT]

@oshizu, thanks! I've decided to try a story that doesn't involve dynasty requirements, so I'm having fun with this.

[MarianT]

Chapter 7

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By the time Norah had finished her chores and was ready to go into the village, it was late afternoon. "Hello!" she called out to Rashidah, who was going home from school. "How are you doing?"
"Do you really want to know?" said Rashidah. "My life has been a nightmare since Mum left."

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"I'm now responsible for cooking all the family meals.

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"And doing the dishes.

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"I was up at 4 this morning to do homework.

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"I also had to make Imran clean up the mess he made outside.

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"And clean the cow.

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"If I weren't lactose-intolerant, I would probably have to milk the cow, too, but Dad at least takes care of that.

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'But mostly he just wanders around the house in his bathrobe and slippers.

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"I lost my temper with Maira. She was all, 'I can't clean the chicken coop, I'll get gunk in my hair,' so I cut her hair for her.

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"I tried to get a nap in before school, but a fox and a bunny got into a noisy fight in our totally empty garden. I don't have time for the garden, and the kids are too young to take proper care, and Dad's totally useless. I don't have time for anything except homework and chores, and I wish I could go to Drama Club. So yeah, that's how I'm doing."

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"Wow," said Norah. "Would it help if I invited all of you over for dinner tonight?"
Rashidah thought for a minute. "Why don't you ask just Dad. That way Rahul can come over and help me babysit."

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She and Cecelia asked Derek and Ian as well as Tom Watson.

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Ian had a joke to tell Norah, which he found funnier than she did.

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When she told Tom that she was making vegetable dumplings, he scowled and said, "Not a fan." At that point Norah decided she didn't blame Rahmi for leaving him.

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She suggested he go talk to Cecelia instead, which he seemed to enjoy.

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At last the dinner party wound down. "Did you hear that noise?" Norah asked. "Was that Claudia?"

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It was indeed Claudia. She's a little charmer now.

[Saltypaws]

Such a fun and refreshing story Marian.