And so the games begin. Four males and four females enter a house with the hopes and dreams of being dynasty founders. Only two will come out alive!Pippin: Whoa! Pump the brakes! No one's being killed!
I was being dramatic. Thought it would make it more exciting.Pippin: Isn't the beginning of a new dynasty enough excitement?
Apparently not since you had to come up with this elaborate rouse to get yourself more interested in doing this dynasty.Pippin: Aaaaaaand anyway, let's see what's happening in the house. Let's check the girl's side first because they're prettier.
Gaburbna: So, looks like you three are the doormats I'll be walking over on my way to victory.
Vendara: Big talk for a girl wearing fun buns.
Venusia: Looks like somebody's not here to make friends.
Vaznya: Can I call you Gabi?
Gaburbna: Only if want a close up view of the inferniate spell!
Mariner: Oh. Are we all standing over there? Is this for the group shot? Should I not have come over here?
Felius: Well, since there's a plumbob over my head, I'd imagine the Watcher is surely not taking a screenshot right now.
Pippin: Stop breaking the fourth wall!
Aravin: I'm hearing a different voice in my head than usual.
Flagnorp: If it's a more annoying voice than usual, I hear that's the sound our Watcher makes.
Pippin: Hey!
And for week one's challenge theme, it's music. For our first two days, instruments are placed and we sit back to see what the contestants will do.Flagnorp: A TV! Do you guys wanna watch a movie?
Mariner: As long as it's not a rom-com. Or drama. And no comedy or action.
Aravin: I actually don't care what we watch. I just want the noise to block out the voices.
Well, this is going well. Let's check in on the girls.Vaznys: Can we watch one of those great movies where the unlikely loser ends up being the hero?
Gaburbna: Sorry, loser. Doesn't work like that in real life. You'll be gone by the end of the week.
Vendara: I know I have plasma packs, but this blondie is looking
really appetizing right now.
Pippin: Alright, this is not working. Can I make them use the instruments?
Watcher. Simply watching for a change.Pippin: But all they're doing is watching TV's!
Do they need TV's? Is that part of the challenge?Pippin: Oh yeah...
And after the TV's are deleted...Violin:
sceetch screetch SCREEEEEEEEEEETCH!!Vendara: Oh that's...really something, Venusia.
Vaznya: Why is Gabnurba always so mean to me?
Gabnurbna: Because it's fun. Duh.
Mariner: So, I hit the wooden thing with the stick?
Felius: Actually you...huh...I don't actually know. Yes. Trying hitting the wooden thing with the stick.
Pippin: Umm, are you even going to try to win this competition?
Aravin: Hey, these dishes aren't going to clean themselves.
Pippin: But that would be so cool if they could!
Aravin: Why are the voices in my head always so weird?
Pippin: They sounds perfectly reasonable to me.
Meantime, back on the girls' side of the house...Vendara starts racking up some points.Vendara: Can't let the queen of mean win.
Vaznya: I just want to be her friend.
Vendara: She doesn't deserve you, little blue bird.
But nothing but friendliness happening on the boys' side.Aravin: ...and then the moose said, "Because those aren't hat racks." Hahahahahaha!
Felius: Oh man, that is probably funny!
Flangnorp: ...I don't get it.
Aravin: I don't either, actually.
Vaznya: Oh, are you learning to play the piano now, Vendara?
Vendara: Oh, nah. This just looked like a really comfy place to sit.
Indeed, none of the contestants wanted anything to do with the pianos, but they sure did like those piano stools.Pippin: Yeah, this is a weird household.
Aravin: What do you mean he's not one of the voices in my head?
Voices:
Aravin: That may be true, but I hear him. In my head.
Voices:
Aravin: True, that is where my ears are, so maybe he's not just in my head...?
Pippin: I mentioned weird, right?
Aravin: There he is again! You guys hear that, right?
Voices:
Venusia: Alright, flow like water. Just flow like water.
Violin:
SCREEEEeeeeeEEEEeeeEEEEETCHHHHH!!!!Venusia: (sigh) Or drown in misery.
Vaznya: I'm miserable. I never get to sleep in the alien bed.
Venusia: That's so sad, little minnow! Where do you sleep then?
Vaznya: Well, Vendara's always really nice, so she lets me sleep in her coffin.
Gaburbna: That's fitting since you'll be dead by week's end.
Vaznya: Dead?
Gaburbna: Didn't you hear the narration at the beginning?
Okay, I see my mistake now.Mariner: Is it just me, or did the number of violins and guitars dramatically increase?
Felius: Well, apparently Pippin took issue with the fact that none of us will play the piano or pipe organ.
Mariner: Piano?
Aravin: He means the really fancy bench chair.
Mariner: Oh that! Yeah, that's so comfy!
And after two days of violin and guitar focus, Gaburbna was the only one still scoreless.Gaburbna: Oh please. As if I can't pass the measly one point the blue kid has in five minutes' time.
And we turn our attention to...DJ mixing and dancing.Pippin: And DJ mixing is ignored for a day and a half straight.
Felius: Woot! Dance party!
Pippin: Yes, dancing happens just fine.
Felius, Aravin, and Mariner were in a really tight race for first in week one.Flangnorp was in a distant fourth place.Aravin: Wow, it's amazing how close our scores are!
Felius: Right? Any one of us could win this competition.
Flangnorp: ...there's a competition?
On the girls' side, Vendara had built a sizeable lead, but Venusia was making a strong showing at second place.Venusia: So, you might want to put in a little more effort, minnow.
Veznya: K. I'll try.
Gaburbna: Try not.
Vendara: ...were you gonna follow that up with, "Do or do not, there is no try?"
Gaburbna: No. I was just telling her not to bother trying because I'm going to beat her.
Veznya: I'm gonna go cry in the coffin.
Gaburbna: Fitting since we'll send you home in one!
Again, I'm so sorry.Pippin: And finally, it was time for their mid-week outing! I placed a DJ booth, multiple guitars, and violins in...whatever night club this is and set them loose!
DJ Someone: Let's get those hands up in the air, people!
Gaburbna: Some day, you will all kneel before the evil witch queen!
L Faba: Aww, thank you!
Gaburbna: ...I meant me. I'm the evil witch queen.
Lily: You've got fangs, I am a Feng, obviously we should be friends.
Vendara: ...that's offensive.
Lily: Accurate. You
do have fangs.
Vendara: True, but it's offensive when you say it.
Venusia: Flowin' like water, baby!
And while a skill-building party was happening inside...the aliens were enjoying nap time.Flangnorp: Just so tired.
Pippin: How are you both so worn out? You've barely developed any skills!
Veznya: And it was exhausting!
Dominic: Well hey there, pretty lady!
Venusia: Icky gross married guys. Why are all of the icky gross married guys paying attention to me?
Indeed, Backo Jang, Dominic Fyres, and Mortimer Goth all took a passing interest in our little siren.Venusia: I want to go home.
Pippin: At at midnight, they did!
Felius: Umm, guys?
Veznya: I feel so rested now.
Aravin: All of the voices have a different song stuck in my head now.
Gaburbna: Guess it's time to stomp the little blue loser. Hey, blue loser...blueser! Somebody just got a new nickname!
Vendara: Is it illegal to eat a competitor?
Mariner: I guess it would depend on how you cook them.
Felius: Seriously, does no one see this? Hello?!?!?
And with the alien overlords doing what they can to help Flangnorp and Veznya stay in the competition, we bid farewell to this weird little household.Felius: HELP!!!!
And at the midway point of week one, Felius leads the boys with 7 points, Aravin has 6, Mariner is at 5, and Flangnorp has crawled his was to 3 points.Flangnorp: Alien Command explained to me that this is apparently a competition of some sort.
And on the girls' side, Vendara is destroying everyone with a score of 10, Venusia has a very respectable 6, Gaburbna made a late surge to pick up 3 points, and Vaznya is in last place overall with 2.Gaburbna: I don't need to come in first, I just need to make sure she comes in last.
Zaznya: Yeah, that makes sense.
Felius: Seriously!! Someone!!! Help!!!!
Pippin: And for those of you at home who like to keep score, here's how they got to those totals.
Scoring:
Gentlemen:
-Flangnorp (Alien) 3-guitar 1, dancing 1, DJ mixing
-Aravin (Spellcaster) 6-guitar 1, violin 4, dancing 1
-Mariner (Merman) 5-violin 3, dancing 1, DJ mixing
-Felius (Vampire) 7-violin 4, guitar 1, dancing 1, Outing bonus 1
Ladies:
-Vaznya (Alien) 2-guitar 1, dancing 1
-Gaburbna (Spellcaster) 3-dancing 1, DJ mixing 1, guitar 1
-Vendara (Vampire) 10-guitar 2, violin 3, dancing 3, DJ mixing, Outing bonus 2
-Venusia (Mermaid) 6-violin 3, guitar 1, DJ mixing 1, Outing bonus 1