Having been unsuccessful in her efforts to do "Eeinie meenie miney moe" in order to make a decision...Elsa: I always forget what comes after "catch a tiger by the toe." I mean, I'm a Watcher, I have a lot on my mind.
our brave little Elsa, never a quitter, turns to the greatest of all decision-making routes...a shallow decision solely based on looks!Elsa: Hmm, thought you'd go with "a scientific exploration of compatible genetics."
Oooo, that does sound better. Let's go with that.Elsa: You get me, narrator, you really get me.
And so, our favorite little Watcher, in an effort to delve into a scientific exploration of compatible genetics, seeks the help of none other than...scientists.Elsa: Hey, labcoat! Wanna help me with my Dynasty?
Labcoat: Umm, sure young lady. So, are you a dynasty heir or...?
Elsa: I'm the Watcher!
Labcoat: Oh. Really? Huh. Well, I'm William Nee the Science Fellow.
Elsa: Huh, the fourth wall really felt that one.
Fourth Wall: Eh, I've had worse.
William Nee the Science Fellow: So, what can I do to help you, Miss Watcher?
Elsa: Oh, you can just call me Elsa.
Willaim Nee the Science Fellow: Thank you, Elsa, and you can call me William Nee the Science Fellow.
Elsa: Done! So, William Nee the Science Fellow, I have this ridiculous loser of a founder and I want to find out which nasty harpy will make the prettiest babies with him.
William Nee the Science Fellow: Ooo, that
does sound like a case for William Nee the Science Fellow! Hmm, I don't suppose you managed to go around and meet with each possible spouse and get DNA samples, did you?
Elsa: Of course! What responsible Watcher
wouldn't?
William Nee the Science Fellow: Excellent! To the zoom-in-o-meter!!
Elsa: Umm, pretty sure this is called a microscope?
William Nee the Science Fellow: Hey, you handle the watching,
this fellow will handle the sciencing.
Elsa: Science isn't a verb?
William Nee the Science Fellow: It is when you do it properly!
William Nee the Science Fellow: Woot! Look at me sciencing!
Elsa: Yeah, I guess that works. So when do we see the...
William Nee the Science Fellow: Let's see the results!
Elsa: Oh. Now then, I guess.
William Nee the Science Fellow: So, we feed in the data from the zoom-in-o-meter and sample one gives us...
Elsa: Hmm, pretty, but kind of malnourished.
William Nee the Science Fellow: Yes, I'd start them on a high carb diet immediately. If they existed. Which they don't. Anyway, sample two!
Elsa: Oh, went a bit in the other direction here. Healthier builds. Kind of bland-looking, though.
William Nee the Science Fellow: Not to fear, not remotely bland on sample three!!
Elsa: What happened to their faces?
William Nee the Science Fellow: Hey, I promised you "not remotely bland," not "attractive!"
Elsa: A shame. I'd had high hopes for that one.
William Nee the Science Fellow: Well, how about sample four?
Elsa: Well, this looks like the best of the bunch. I think we've found our winner!
William Nee the Science Fellow: What about sample five?
Elsa: Oh, well, she was more of an afterthought, but I guess since we're here anyway...
Elsa: Huh. Really?
William Nee the Science Fellow: Yep. From a purely scientific standpoint,
the best genetic pairing.
Elsa: I mean, I'd liked her already because...
William Nee the Science Fellow: I mean, there might be that whole "romance" and "love" nonsense that could mess things up, but if we trust to science...
Elsa: Oh no, I totally don't think my loser is even remotely capable of understanding the emotions he's feelings, so we'll just go with science.
William Nee the Science Fellow: Science rules!!
And so, our glorious Watcher has found the scientifically perfect match for the blue loser in her charge.William Nee the Science Fellow: Wait, who's talking?
But will they find true love? Will she accept the ridiculous goof?William Nee the Science Fellow: Seriously, who else is in my lab?
We'll find out the answers to these and more questions next time on The Took Another Try IDC...oh, and I guess we'll also find out who gave sample five...William Nee the Science Fellow: ...somebody's in my lab (pouts)...