Chapter 55 – Waxing Poetic
[ You are not allowed to view attachments ]
Harvey gets a warm welcome into the Kindle family. As soon as he tucks into bed in his new home for the first time, Caspian does the only logical thing: he sneaks up on the new kid to give him a good scare. Ha ha, you’ll see how welcome you REALLY are, fool!
[ You are not allowed to view attachments ]
“Wait. THAT’S who Rose is going to marry? Wow...his genetics are fantastic...”
And so, Harvey’s beauty distracts Caspian from his prank, and the old man shuffles along to bed like the good uncle he is. At least, I can’t think of any other reason.
[ You are not allowed to view attachments ]
Michaela and Skyler are happily married and deeply in love, if you were wondering.
[ You are not allowed to view attachments ]
Plus, now that Nile and Gladys are gone, there’s some space in the household. Skyler and Michaela decide to get started on their first child.
[ You are not allowed to view attachments ]
Rose is still doing well in her criminal career…except when she gets arrested. On her second day of work. I guess she’s not actually doing very well. The notification that comes up when she gets thrown in jail says, “We don’t want you using your Class Valedictorian to escape.” Mmhmm, okay.
[ You are not allowed to view attachments ]
Here’s an interesting fact about our friend Harvey. He has two girlfriends! That’s right, this good little boy isn’t as good as he seems. This whole time he’s been having a side fling—a rather serious one, apparently—with Karina Vasquez-Arellano. I’ve never seen this kind of glitch before. It’s pretty impressive.
[ You are not allowed to view attachments ]
Needless to say, this needs taking care of. Harvey calls up Karina and meets her in town, where he pulls off the band-aid.
“Sorry, Karina, but we have to break up. I’m committed to my true love since birth, Desert Rose Kindle.”
“What?! But I’m already married to some other guy!”
Yes, that guy in yellow is Karina’s husband. This glitch is even MORE impressive on Karina’s end. I appreciate yellow guy’s attempt at sympathy for this situation, but really, shouldn’t he be dancing for joy over there?
Anyway, with that taken care of, it’s time to make things more official between Harvey and Rose. That afternoon, Rose calls Harvey and tells him to meet her in the park by City Hall. “I’ll meet you there as soon as I get out of jail, okay? Just hang tight!”
[ You are not allowed to view attachments ]
I don’t know if Harvey is crying because his girlfriend just called him from prison and spoke as if she called him from the spa, or because he has to wait for her outside, in the great outdoors, without walls or a ceiling to protect him from things like flowers and sunshine. Either way…let’s just give him a moment.
[ You are not allowed to view attachments ]
Whilst Rose is still en route to the park, my camera jumps over to Michaela. She’s pregnant with the first next-generation Kindle!
[ You are not allowed to view attachments ]
Okay, back to the park.
“There you are, my darling! I was worried you would never get out of there, and that I would get devoured by a prickly pear cactus, or—"
“You can’t possibly get devoured by a prickly pear cactus, you idiot. You are looking a bit sunburned, though.”
“No! It can’t be! I—"
“I’m just kidding, babe, jeez!”
Poor Neurotic, Dramatic Harvey, having to contend with an Unflirty, Evil Rose. This should be an interesting relationship.
[ You are not allowed to view attachments ]
Harvey: “My delicate flower, I was hoping we would have a moment alone together, in which I might have the chance to tell you how ardently I ado—“
Rose: “Hold that thought.”
[ You are not allowed to view attachments ]
Rose: “To save us several minutes of poetic agony, let’s just do this my way. You want to marry me, or what?”
[ You are not allowed to view attachments ]
Harvey: “Oh, yes, yes, my heart and my only, YES!”
[ You are not allowed to view attachments ]
Harvey: “And this diamond, it sparkles like your eyes! No, like my heart! No, like OUR LOVE, which shall sparkle forevermore!”
Rose: *eyes sparkling wickedly*
[ You are not allowed to view attachments ]
This moment of romance is a bit too much for Harvey, apparently. As soon as the proposal is over, he breaks down into tears and starts sniffling and sobbing like a child.
Harvey: “I’m sorry, my blooming beauty––I merely have a speck of sand in my eye…"
[ You are not allowed to view attachments ]
“…or perhaps it is your startling beauty and the thought of having you as my very own for the rest of eternity that is so overwhelming! Ah, sweet romance, the balm of life, the epitome of—”
[ You are not allowed to view attachments ]
Rose: *cracks knuckles* “All right, let’s just get married and have done with it. There’s a bridge over there. Let’s go.”
[ You are not allowed to view attachments ]
And so Desert Rose Kindle and Harvey Northrop-Bellamore tie the knot in a private ceremony at dusk in Lucky Palms.
[ You are not allowed to view attachments ]
Harvey’s vows are lengthy and rhapsodic.
“Oh, my Desert Rose, your beauty and your valor weaken my knees and soothe my nervous soul. Your wickedness serves only to seduce me further and cause me to love—and fear—you more. I long to care for you always, to tremble under your serene magnificence, to play symphonies in your name. I promise to influence you, albeit fruitlessly, with the truths of Goodness, and to be a reluctant accessory to your Evil doings whenever you have need of me. This I vow.”
[ You are not allowed to view attachments ]
Rose's vows are little snappier. “Harvey, I like you. Sometimes I don’t mind putting my lips on you, which is weird, but whatever. The point is, you are the only person I could tolerate for the rest of my life. I promise to use my wicked ways to protect you from all that you fear, which is literally everything, and I promise that when I am Empress of Evil, you shall rein at my side in a strictly ceremonial role. This I vow.”
[ You are not allowed to view attachments ]
Awww. These two are complete opposites in almost every imaginable aspect, but their love is still adorable—in a twisted, nonsensical, messed-up sort of way.
[ You are not allowed to view attachments ]
Congratulations to the newest Mr. and Mrs. Kindle!
[ You are not allowed to view attachments ]
The newlyweds return home to their bedroom, where they spend the night together as husband and wife.
[ You are not allowed to view attachments ]
And with that…our time in Lucky Palms has come to a close. These five strapping young'uns (plus one more young'un, as yet unborn) will be proceeding to the next town. I’ve decided to let Caspian and Francine remain in Lucky Palms while they still have some time left.
[ You are not allowed to view attachments ]
Everyone says goodbye to Caspian and Francine—especially Clover, who will never see her parents again. (Fun fact: as I’m having Francine and Clover say their goodbyes, I accidentally click “Ask to Form band” without realizing. Apparently, once the “Ask to Form band” interaction starts, you’re not allowed to cancel it. So I am FORCED, BY THE GAME, to form a band with Francine and Clover, called The Shrubberies, and the last thing Clover says to her mother is something along the lines of “OMG I can’t wait till we get a gig, yo!” and I do not stop laughing for about ten solid minutes when this happens. The end.)
And where are the younger Kindles moving to? You’ll have to find out in the next chapter. Toodle-oo!