Chapter 49 – Boy Friend
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Desert Rose emerges from the upstairs bedroom with her new look, finds her friends downstairs, and makes THIS face when confronted with the prospect of romance for the first time.
“Ugh, you guys, I do NOT like being a teenager. All these hormones, all this pressure to be romantic all of a sudden…I would rather die than kiss a boy right now!”
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This doesn’t seem to faze Harvey. Whilst Clover swoons dreamily in the background (or rolls her eyes—it’s hard to tell), Harvey shakes Rose’s hand amiably. “Hey, Rose. Nice to see you at eye level again.”
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Harvey takes off for home shortly after. There was no immediate attraction between him and Rose, to my dismay, but maybe that’s okay. At least the two of them are friends, and that’s the most important thing.
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Apparently stressed out by this whole interaction, Desert Rose makes good use of her new maturity and spends the rest of the party downing drinks at the bar.
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The party winds down soon enough––for everyone except Canyon. Nile finds his oldest son upstairs in his old bedroom, standing next to Canyon and Bryan’s prom photo.
“Hi, son.”
“Hi, dad.”
“…”
“…”
"I was just admiring this old photograph of Bryan and myself. Marriage is treating us very well."
"I'm happy to hear that, Canyon."
"..."
"..."
And then Canyon leaves. Um, good to see you, I guess.
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Here is a demonstration of a fascinating phenomenon in this family. People are always queueing up to talk to Rose. Someone will start talking to her—usually Skyler—and then the other members of the family will gather around and try to jump in on the conversation until half the family is standing there waiting to ask Rose about her day. It’s kind of hilarious. She’s so popular, and yet so polite and oblivious!
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After all the guests have gone, only Caspian and Nile remain downstairs. Nile has taken on Caspian’s secret hobby of making a gazillion trays of drinks in the middle of the night, and Caspian is unsure how he feels about it.
Caspian: “Huh. What’s that you’re pouring now? A spline reticulator?”
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Nile: “For your information, Mr. Smarty Pants, it’s called a QUICK DRINK, and it’s the most ADVANCED mixological item on any menu anywhere!”
Caspian: “Uh-huh. Mixological, you say?”
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Caspian: “See, THAT’S spline reticulator. Better, eh?”
Nile: “It’s terrible. I’ll take these other ones too so you don’t have to drink them.”
It’s a few more hours before the old boys head off to bed. At least they’re enjoying their elderhoods to the fullest extent.
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The next day, first thing in the morning, I get a good scare when Clover goes to fix the broken TV. For a good several seconds, I'm convinced she’s going to snuff it. Luckily, she makes it through her very first electrocution with minimal scarring. (I, however, am DEEPLY scarred.)
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Rose goes to her first day of high school and gets invited to a boy’s house—another townie named Jarrett Hudson. Jarrett is attractive, smart, and lives in a really nice house boat, but Rose doesn’t seem even remotely interested in him. The two of them don’t say a word to each other. They spend about five minutes doing homework near each other, and then Rose gets up and decides to call Harvey.
“Hey, Harvey! Whatcha doin’? Want to meet me at the graveyard? Great, see you soon!”
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Rose and Harvey arrive together just as the setting sun is painting the desert red.
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And Desert Rose gets right down to business.
“Okay, Harvey, here’s the deal. I’m not a flirty person. Not even a little bit. In fact, the idea of kissing you—or anyone—repulses me to my core, so the fact that I’m even bringing this up is kind of, um, crazy.”
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“HOWEVER, I do need to find a date to prom. And you’re the only boy I’ve ever liked in any capacity. Basically, I’m wondering if you want to be my friend who just so happens to be a boy. And my date to prom. And also possibly my husband, but that comes later and we don't have to worry about that right now. In fact, if I do worry about it right now I might throw up. So, what do you say?"
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Harvey is surprisingly cool with this arrangement.
“Of course, Desert Rose! But are you sure you have the dance moves to keep up with me at prom?”
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“Oh, Harvey, I’m so glad! And yes, I’m going to absolutely CRUSH you on the dance floor.”
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Rose and Harvey end up staying at the graveyard until well after dark, gossiping and laughing and talking. Their relationship moves slowly—probably because I keep forgetting to stick Rose in a charisma class––but by the end of the night, they are almost good friends and have given me lots of adorable screenshots. Sure, they’re not the most compatible couple romantically, but they get along VERY well as friends. This might not be a raging, passionate romance––maybe it will just be a simple one, two friends growing to love each other deeply over time. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
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Or am I?
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When curfew hits, my heart skips a beat—for a second, it looks like the two of them are holding hands!
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Oh.
“Excuse me, my boy friend just tried to touch my hand and now I can’t move!”
Sorry, Rose. A few awkward, glitchy moments later, Harvey detaches himself from his future wife prom date.
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Finally, the date ends. Harvey gives a friendly wave goodbye, accompanied by a notification stating that the date was, um, horrible?
Harvey: “Well, this was the worst date ever, so we’re not friends anymore, even though we spent the whole time planning to be friends and prom dates and potentially lifelong lovers. Game mechanics for the win! Okay bye!”
Great! Now we’re back to square one. Still, I firmly believe that Rose and Harvey are meant to be. They WILL BE TOGETHER. I hope.
Things are still going great at home, by the way.
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Nile: “Hey, look, Dad’s working out at 2 in the morning again. Should we say something to him?”
Caspian: “Nope. Just ignore. Just. Ignore.”