Chapter 24 – Everything Is Flammable
I swear to you, we had no fires in this house before Blaise died. Now that our built-in firefighter is gone, we have a fire approximately every five seconds. This family is really living up to its name.
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For example.
I don’t even know how this one breaks out. I mean, it’s always the stove—but I don’t think anybody was cooking anything. Everyone was cheering about cake! What happened, guys?!
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Caspian, with his newfound ability to Do Things, tries to put out the fire but can’t seem to figure out how to work a fire extinguisher. What, you mean your grandmother didn’t teach you this as a toddler? For shame, Granny Blaise!
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Since Caspian can’t figure it out, we have to wait for the actual firefighter to arrive (though he arrives in record time, I must say). The firefighter demonstrates that one must insert one’s fire extinguisher directly into the stove itself in order for successfully quell the blaze. Mmmkay, thanks for that.
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The fire dwindles, and still poor Caspian is left staring down the fire extinguisher tube, trying to figure out how to work it. Not exactly Handy, are ya, kiddo?
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After the fire finally dies, I have to pause the game and take this screenshot. Because I don’t think I ever realized before how utterly identical Ash and Justin look. Am I just an idiot? Have I been blind all these long years? They look like the same person thirty years apart! (If you could see Corrie’s face back there, you’d see that she and Nile also look really alike. So there’s that, too.)
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NPCs really seem to be glitched in Sunset Valley. Our faithful firefighter friend ends up sticking around and hanging out by the stove for a very long time after his work is done. He demonstrates his exhaustion with a dramatic flair that almost puts him on par with Ash.
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By morning, he’s still here, and demonstrating his Clumsy trait by toppling fully into the newly-replaced stove every so often. Such talent! Not all sims are capable of melding with furniture like that.
In spite of the firefighter loitering in their kitchen, Caspian and Nile must head to school and start learning stuff.
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Caspian: “You ready for our first day of high school, bro?”
Nile: “As ready as I'll ever be.”
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That evening, Rhone finally has a birthday, witnessed by most of his immediate family and…the firefighter. (Should we just go ahead and adopt this guy, or what?)
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Rhone ages up into a frankly beautiful child and becomes Clumsy. Evidently he’s absorbed some of the glitchy firefighter’s qualities.
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At long last, a full twenty-four hours after he arrived, our friendly firefighter detaches himself from the kitchen counter and makes his way upstairs to perform the firefighter ritual of Screaming At The Current Mrs. Kindle While She Sleeps. Then, finally, FINALLY, he takes off into the night.
Things settle down at last and the family gets some sleep. They’re going to need it…
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…because the next day is Justin’s last day on earth.
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At 104 days old, Justin Kayes Kindle has lived a long and prosperous life. He has singlehandedly hacked tens of thousands of dollars into the family bank account, raised two children and three grandchildren, cooked dozens of high-quality meals, and spent many glorious hours hot-tubbing. He’s ready to be reunited with Blaise. RIP, Justin.
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“Get ready, Blaise...I’m comin’ for ya!”
Needless to say, the Kindles are heartbroken, and must begin to deal with death in their own individual ways.
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That includes Rhone.
“What are you looking at, kid?”
“Nothing...what are YOU looking at?”
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At first, I wonder if Rhone is up to something suspicious. Then he pulls out a pillow. And he starts whacking the Grim Reaper over the head with it.
Grim whacks him back, and that, my friends, is how a ten-year-old boy deals with death.
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Nile: “Mom? Dad? Are you seeing this? I don’t know if this is a healthy activity…”
Nile, come on, you’re Insane! You ought to be joining in!
Death aside, Nile has something more pressing to deal with—young love.
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Nile has developed a bit of a crush on one of his childhood friends. (Or maybe I have. What? Never mind...) Even though it’s late and he’s suffering from that -50 Mourning moodlet, he shows up at the Crumplebottom house to see if the object of his desire is home.
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Gladys Crumplebottom has grown up into a slightly less adorable teen than I’d hoped, but there’s still something oddly cute about her. She kindly answers the door in her hot pink pajama shirt and flirts with Nile until the police come to pick him up. They become Romantic Interests just in the nick of time.
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“Oops, that’s my siren. Gotta go! See you in school, Gladys!”
Yes, Nile gets driven home by the cops since it’s after 11 pm. Ash gives him a proper scolding.
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“You took a taxi across town at midnight in a suit, just to talk to a girl?? Are you out of your MIND?!”
Grounded, Nile goes to bed exhausted and angry. The next morning, he’s forced to stay home from school, because that makes sense, but he tries to make amends by making all the beds in the house and cleaning some bathroom sinks.
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For some reason, this only makes Ash angrier.
“What on EARTH made you think plumping some pillows would get you on my good side? Are you insane?!”
Um, yes, Ash, he is. And I'm starting to think you are, too.
Well, it's been a couple days. Guess it's time for a fire.
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“Dad! Did you leave waffles in the oven when you came upstairs to scold me?!”
“What? Me? No, of course not! It was the butler!”
“Dad, we don’t have a butler! Grandpa fired the last two and the one before that vanished into thin air!”
“Just shut up and put out the fire, Nile!”
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He does. And, oh hey, it’s our firefighter friend again.
“Looks like you have this under control. I’m going to go home now.”
Yes, good boy.
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After the fire is out, Ash suddenly feels compelled to let his son off the hook.
“I guess since you just saved our lives and our espresso machine from certain doom, you can go to school now.”
“Gee, thanks."
I think we’re in for some wildly fun teen years.