The Newbies and the Calientes 5
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Ahhh... I was having a lovely nap on the soft, warm sand, when I got a phone call from Bob Newbie.
The Newbies
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"I don't understand the text you sent me," he began. "Wait a minute -- Pascal, thanks so much for the shoveling! Anyway, what's this about a time-share on Sulani?"
"Yes, I've found a cheap cottage -- it's next to a volcano that I'm pretty sure is dormant..."
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"Open -- " Bob was saying, "That's right -- good kitty! Oh, sorry Willow, I'm just trying to get Pascal's cat Enigma to take a pill."
"Maybe you should call me back when you're finished working," I suggested.
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"No, this is fine, I can multi-task -- well, aren't you a big fellow. Come on up and let me take a look at you," I could hear Bob saying. I pressed a button to end the call. If Bob called back wanting to know what had happened, I would say that we'd been cut off, cell service on Sulani being somewhat erratic.
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But he didn't call back, so after a couple of hours, I called him. "About this time-share," he began, then -- "Girls, cut the noise down. I'm on the phone.
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"Babs brought her friend Faith Lee-Scott -- or is it Scott-Lee? -- home from school," he explained.
"It's Lee-Scott," I said, "and it's very simple -- I can buy a condominium on Sulani for everyone to use if they're willing to put in 2000 simoleons."
"I guess I can agree to that. Although I should check with Betty. She holds the purse strings," Bob yawned.
"Is my conversation that boring?" I asked.
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"Not at all," he said hastily. "It's just that I was up late last night dealing with the monster under Babs's bed. The monster that we paid mucho simoleons explicitly to discourage.
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"And it was such a stubborn monster that Betty had to get up and deal with it, too. But you know -- back in a minute..."
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In the distance, I could hear Bob saying, "Buddy? Are you okay, old pal?" Presently he returned to the phone.
"Buddy just became an elderly dog," he told me. "And yes, put us down as a yes on the time-share. I'd like to take Buddy somewhere warm before it's too late for him."
The Calientes
Returning to my lodging, I found an e-mail from Katrina.
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We got a puppy for Hugh. He's an A student now, and I remembered that you asked us to do that. I wanted a cat, but Hugh was all for a puppy. She's an Australian shepherd, so we're calling her Brisbane.
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I'm sending you this clipping so you won't worry if you see the picture in the tabloids. I do not have some "mysterious ailment," and doctors do not "fear for my life." It was a perfectly ordinary rash that went away when I took some medicine.
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I've been exercising, trying to get my fitness level up so I can get a part in a new series, "Detective Law." Fingers crossed that I pass the audition!
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I sent Katrina a floater to use in her pool, and reminded her that I wanted to hear back about the time-share.
A few days later I heard back from her. Thanks so very much for the floater! It's perfect for relaxing, which is what I need to do more often.
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I got the part in the detective show. The bizarre thing is that my co-star looked much like me after make-up finished with her. I'm the one on the left. I don't know why they wouldn't let me keep my hair, although I suppose it's not a style a policewoman would wear.
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I have the better figure, as you can tell when you see us in profile together. Flirting with a woman who looked so much like me was definitely awkward. The writer later explained that he was trying to convey the idea that my character was a narcissist, looking for a love interest who would be a mirror, not a separate human being. Whatever.
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My fight scene was a bust. I was supposed to take down the alien, but I slipped on a damp spot. The director yelled at me, "It says on your CV that you're a level 5 fitness! What are you, a 2 or something?" I told him I was a 5, but I slipped. I thought we'd do the scene over, but he said time was short, and they'd have to go with what they had.
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Despite my falling on my butt, they filmed me locking up the alien anyway. Case closed.
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Back at home that adorable little furball we adopted grew up.
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I think we need a bigger house. Don't worry, I plan to kick in for the time share, but it's obvious that we need more furniture in the living room than just a couch.
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Just so you won't think I'm totally self-absorbed (okay, I am, but I try to think of others), I want to brag on Hugh a little. Besides being an A student, he's reached the second level of his drama club despite choosing to portray a tiger rather than a cow as his barnyard animal. And he's officially a Rambunctious Scamp. His birthday is coming up, so I made a cake for him, which I'll share. Yes, I have a birthday coming up, too. I look forward to seeing you when you return from Sulani.
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When I showed up the next day, Katrina was still in her pajamas despite it being lunchtime.
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"My publicist got me into a party with Thorne Bailey last night," she said, as she handed me her money. "Thorne Bailey! Can you imagine? It was a charity do, and I got on the list because I'd donated to Future Astronauts of Sunset Valley.
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"Anyway, the party lasted several hours and near the end, Thorne went into the bar and started making drinks for the patrons there. He said they deserved to have a properly made Wrench rather than what the Blue Velvet usually served. And Bob Newbie said, 'It's a wrench, but I'll take it,' which everyone thought was hilarious. That's the point at which I realized it was time I went home."
I congratulated Katrina on her rising fame, thanked her for the money, and then went home myself.