The Story of Rosemary
John and Claire Baker knew that their eldest daughter, Rosemary, was something special the moment she was born.
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This is a common sentiment among new parents, but we will allow them the indulgence.
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In Rosemary’s case she really was something special, not just to her parents, but also to an underground, fly-by-wire, perpetually underfunded, covert operation called the Wonder Child Project. The WCP’s purpose was to send humanitarian aid, in the form of actual humans, to the devastated region formerly known as Glassbolt. Unfortunately, the WPCs methods were a bit like ordering a cup of coffee and waiting for the barista to hike to Brazil, hand pick the coffee fruit, de-pulp the fruit, dry the beans, mill and roast the beans, hike back to the coffee shop, grind the coffee, brew the coffee, and then…well, you get the idea. You might get a great cup of coffee in the end, but chances are you lost interest long before the barista ever cleared customs in Brazil.
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Where was I going with this? Oh, yes, so Rosemary was like that cup of coffee. Exquisite in every way, but most people had long since forgotten about the Glassbolt Meltdown that occurred during halftime of the Superbowl years and years and years ago. Fortunately for those who now lived in the area that was formerly known as Glassbolt, a few people at the WPC still remembered and they were determined to send Rosemary there and hopefully she would have maxed both Cooking and Gourmet Cooking skills.
That seems like a lot to ask of a kid, doesn’t it?
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Well, lo and behold, Rosemary did max both her Cooking and Gourmet Cooking skills (as well as a dozen others) all before her Young Adult birthday. And the most amazing thing was, that when she was finally told about the WPC and the city formerly known as Glassbolt, she didn’t laugh, or run, or run away laughing.
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She actually felt that it was her destiny to leave her comfortable life in Willow Creek, travel to the town that was now called What Cheer, and enter the Culinary Career.
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And as she steadily worked her way up in her career, Rosemary fell in love…
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Got married…
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And gave birth to two beautiful girls.
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Of course, even though she was busy raising a family, she still reached the top of her career before her Adult birthday. In doing so, Rosemary earned the right to purchase a stove and a fridge. And everyone could now cook meals other than grilled fish. It didn’t matter that the fridge and stove were the lowest quality, everything Rosemary made came out excellent.
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The first thing Rosemary cooked was a cake for her husband and his twin sister on their birthday.
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And then she made strawberry pancakes for her girls’ first day of school.
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And just in case you were thinking that Rosemary sounds too perfect, and therefore unrelatable, let me tell you a little secret. She is a huge fan of the genre known as ‘B-movies’. Really bad horror flicks like Sims of the Dead and Moonlight Massacre III are her favorite. The cornier the better.
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Rosemary, the town of What Cheer will forever be in your debt.
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