"Come on guys! Let's calm down now." I yelled into the living room.
The three of them settled down and refocused on their homework.
"I'm home!" Lucas said.
He walked into the living room and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
"Jasper! What a surprise!" Lucas joked.
"Evening sir! Hope things are well."
They gave each other a high five as Lucas went to start on the steaks.
"Okay back to homework!" I told them.
...
"Ellie! Come on in!" I greeted.
Ellie, Jasper's mom, walked into the house and we walked into the kitchen and stood at the island. I grabbed the jug of juice from the fridge and grabbed two glasses and poured both of us a glass. I smiled as she took her glass and smiled back.
"Thank you for meeting me on such short notice, you have a lovely home." She smiled.
"Of course!"
This wasn't the first time meeting each other, normally we would go out to get some coffee or I would stop by her workplace but this was the first time she has been in the house.
"How are things at home?" I asked.
"Tough, money is tight but I am trying to keep it together for Jasper." She told me.
"Well you know he is always welcome here. If things get tough we can help however we can."
"I want to thank you for that, you know I try my hardest to be the best mother I can be." She started to get upset.
I reached over and squeezed her hand.
"Being a parent is hard, but believe me Ellie he loves you and he knows that you are trying your best." I told her.
She nodded.
"I need to ask a favor." She said after a few moments.
"Anything."
"Can Jasper stay here for a few days? Maybe a week? I want to go for some further job training but they won't allow another person in the hotel room since it is in another city and I can't leave him alone."
"Of course! We have a spare room and he is welcome to stay as long as you need us to take him. He is such a pleasure to have and you did an amazing job at raising such a respectful young man."
"Thank you."
...
I walked passed Simon's room and I heard crying coming from the other side of the door. I stopped and silently tapped on the door.
"Simon?"
"Go away!" He cried.
"Simon can I please come in?" I asked.
"NO! God mom just go away!" He screamed.
He went back to sobbing in his bed.
"Let me." I heard Sarah said.
She opened his door and shut it behind her. I set my forehead on the door and closed my eyes, I felt completely lost and shut out. Here I was telling Ellie that she was an amazing mother, but I was struggling to understand what was happening with one of my children while the other knew but wasn't telling me. I grabbed the leash for Lucy and walked downstairs.
"Come on Lucy, let's go for a walk."
Later that night we gathered around the television for a family movie night, which now included Jasper because he was staying with us.
"Oooooo Simon, look at this cutie!" Lucas said.
We all looked out of the window.
"That is Stacey, she's in our English class."
"She's cute." I told him.
He shrugged and turned back around.
"Come on son, you have to wrangle a girl here soon." Lucas said nudging him.
"Maybe." Simon mumbled.
"Well hello Lucy!" Aria said.
Lucy had jumped up next to her and curled up.
Simon was quiet the entire movie, even with Jasper he was quiet which wasn't normal at all. Those two were almost inseparable.
"Mom? Can I talk to you outside?" Simon said out of no where near the end of the movie.
"Of course."
We both got up, I shot a look at Lucas who looked confused. I followed Simon outside and shut the door behind us, we walked away from the door and into the yard. It was still a little light outside and it was breezy but warm outside.
"Simon?"
He looked at his feet.
"Baby, what's wrong?" I asked.
"I've been being bullied at school."
"You've mentioned that." I told him.
"Simon, you can come to me for anything. I've told you and your sister that many times before. Your father and I are open to talk and to help you." I reassured him.
"I can tell you anything?" He asked.
"Anything."
"You won't be mad, or disappointed in me?"
"I can't promise that but I can promise that whatever has been bothering you we can work through it."
He was quiet for a few moments and I was patient with him. I wasn't sure what he was about to tell me and my stomach was in knots as I hoped it wasn't something serious. My mind went to several scenarios from he got someone pregnant, he was actually the one doing the bullying, or it was just some stupid rumor going around. I just hoped it wasn't something life threatening.
"I don't know how to say this." He said, his voice was shaking now.
"Take your time." I told him.
He shook his hands and took a deep breath and looked up to the sky before looking back at me with the same grayish eyes that I have.
"Mom, I think I may be gay." He said almost in one word.
"What?"
"I think I am gay." He repeated slower.
"Oh honey, that's okay! God that is absolutely perfectly fine!"
"It is?" He asked, looking shocked.
"Of course it is! Baby that doesn't change anything about you! You are my Simon! My baby boy, and there is nothing you could say or do to change that!"
He just broke, full on body sobbing as I pulled him into my arms and he cried into my shoulder. I could feel the weight of the world fall off his shoulder and he was relieved.
"Do you think dad will be fine with it?"
"Of course he will." I told him.
He wiped his nose on his sleeve and wiped the tears from his eyes.
"Thank you mom."
"Thank you for letting me in." I told him.
...
"Simon! Chores!" I reminded him.
He groaned.
As I predicted Lucas took the news of Simon being gay perfectly fine. He almost cried harder than Simon did, he was ashamed and scared that he made it so that Simon didn't feel comfortable with this. Simon had been struggling with this for so long and now I finally knew what has been bothering my son. I guess it did make sense why Jasper was around so much, but I wasn't going to pry or get my hopes up because I wasn't even sure if Jasper was gay or not.
"Jasper I made steaks!" Sarah screeched.
"Sorry." He said, mouth full of chili.
"I'm never making food for you ever again."
"If you say so."
"God she is so annoying." Simon groaned.
"So, you told your parents." Jasper said.
He nodded.
"You know that the school gossip team is going to find out the truth soon, right?"
"Let them, I'm tired of hiding who I am and letting them control my life."
"Right on."
I smiled as I folded laundry in the living room.
It turned out that I was right. There was something wrong with Simon and I knew that from the beginning, but it was far from something wrong in a bad way. My son was gay and it was something new to all of us but as a family we would take it step by step and adjust when needed.
So there it is! God I am nervous because I've never wrote about this before but I hope I won't mess it up! =]
