Romance - something to clear up

[Nindigo]

I'm confuzzled.

Don just got slapped by several women at a night club after Paolo pecked him on the cheek (they almost lined up). Women he either had a tiny slight romantic interest in or previous girlfriends that he had cooled off romance with - not broken up with, but relations were reverted to just friendship. Now, why would they go and savagely slap his handsome face like that? I'm beginning to view these females as uptight

[sdhoey]

I'm guessing because he has never really broken it of with any of them. So technically they are still in a type a relationship.
 

[Nindigo]

Well, that hardly seems fair It has to be hot or cold, not something in between. Also, the relationship panel is full of conflicting states such as 'acquaintances' and 'soulmates' being listed under the same Sim. Gah...

[Playalot]

I had something similar happen with a sim in my dynasty. He had been romantic with this townie in his teens once and then hadn't talked to her ever again then as an elder got slapped by her for kissing his wife! The townie wasn't even in his list of known sims anymore! lol it took me ages to figure out who she even was.

[Nindigo]

That is messed up. At least, I don't feel too bad about it anymore. But I still think it's confusing to have two ways of ending a romance when one doesn't quite count.

[CuriousSim]

It seems like for each game, there's always a chance for the "Jealous" trait to be added to a townie. This will make a Sim Angry, if you interact with that Sim's interest.

On a similar matter, is there ANY way, to prevent your Sim from autonomously deciding to use the "Enchanting Introduction" on random Sims that he meets? My most recent Sim instantly got a boyfriend, at a guy's night out. He was FOCUSED, not Flirty. It is extremely annoying that a SIM can be so shy around friends with a full relationship bar, but can INSTANTLY start up romances with complete strangers.

[Nindigo]

I'm really annoyed with the 'enchanting introduction', too. Don always picks the ugliest, pear-shaped, old, santa-bearded men to give it to. I'm developing nervous tics because of it. Also, I don't understand why it's an option when there's also a 'flirty introduction' which strangely enough doesn't activate the romance bar.

Disabling autonomy prevents new introductions, but as frustrating as it is, Sims will keep autonomously conversing with others even if autonomy is off. Maybe there's a mod out there. I don't know if MC Command Center has any settings for autonomous greetings

[oshizu]

I wonder if the Enchanting Introduction was designed to annoy the simmer...
My sims use it autonomously much more often than I have them use it. At the park, in a restaurant, during a party. Even if they're married, they'll autonomously use it.

CuriousSim  I know it's annoying for you, but I inwardly giggled at the thought of your sim going to a bar to hang out with his bros but nabbing a boyfriend, instead.

And yes, Nindigo, the most unlikely sim is always the target of the Enchanting Introduction with my sims, too.
I feel for you and Don, though. Pear-shaped AND santa-bearded--that's just excessive! Especially after all the time Don invests in looking his best!

On the other hand, I'm surprised that using a Flirty introduction doesn't give you a small pink bar.

[Playalot]

There is a mod that stops the auto enchanting greeting. I don't know if it is still updated though so you'd have to check that out.

[CuriousSim]

I'll look into that, thanks.

In general, Romance seems to be a big pain, in the Sims. It's a bit unfortunate. It wouldn't be so bad & it's not in theory, but romantic interactions always seem to make other Sims uncomfortable, unless they are involved with that Sim. Not a big deal EXCEPT, Romantic interactions are ALWAYS a "Reply to all", and SomeSim, is always going to break into the conversation & get offended when you flirt with your sweetie-pie.

That always makes dates extremely difficult. Sometimes, I wish there were three bars: A normal bar, a flirt bar, and a romance bar. The flirt bar creates extra affinity, but won't progress, without explicitly jumping to the next level. In fact, maybe best friends can flirt, but the pink bar won't start, until you boyfriend or girlfriend someone. Maybe, a Sim could autonomously go steady, but not until the flirt bar is filled. This would give plenty of time, for things to develop. Also, maybe it could keep flirty interactions less awkward, unless a Sim is either Jealous, or UnFlirty. Just my .02 Simoleons.

[Playalot]

I agree. I now give all my vampires the power to mesmerize as this stops the annoying townies in their tracks and lets my sims get on with their dates etc. (I'm playing exclusively vampires at the moment.) The auto enchanting greeting drives me nuts to the point where I cheat my sims charisma levels down so that they are not skilled enough to use it.

[CuriousSim]

I didn't think about the charm aspect. I wish things were a bit different. For some reason, I seem to get tons of guests. I guess that's ok, but if you have a significant, an autonomous flirt is eventually going to offend someone. It might be nice, if one could have a significant AND be seen in public. As it is, I tend to avoid relationships in the Sims. For couples, it seems to work to just treat them like individuals. If they ever make a new version, it might be nice to increase the complexity, just a tad. I might like to see family play a bigger part. If you have relatives in a household, it might be cool to see them recognize each other more as related, than just individual adults, under the same roof. If you befriend one member of the family, maybe it could also affect how well you get along with other members of that household or how quickly you become acquainted, when meeting for the first time & other issues, similar to that.

In some ways, it's handy for your social bar, to be able to interact with Sim-friends 24 hours a day. However, maybe it might be nice to have consistent scheduling. If a Sim is employed, maybe they won't necessarily want to hang out in the afternoon, or invite you to parties, in the middle of the day. Maybe, they won't stay till 3am. I don't know. In some ways, it's handy, but in other ways, it's inconvenient. You don't want it to be so much like life, that's depressing to play, but maybe it shouldn't have an over abundance of drawbacks, that do not occur, in real life. Just a thought.

[Nindigo]

I can so relate to being out on a date and other Sims just barge in and/or scold my Sims for displaying affection in public - or just rudely decide to partake in the date. Its aggravating. I used to go on dates in all kinds of places, but for a while I've kept exclusively to The Bluffs or the upper part of Myshuno Park (where the building and wedding setting is) or simply the home lot. It's really boring and uniform, but the alternative is unbearable.

  On a different note, this all kinda confirms for me that the surroundings are at fault for one becoming a lone wolf - not something dysfunctional inside a person.

@oshizu Thank you for your sympathy. It's overwhelming how the game will sometimes work against your wishes!

[CuriousSim]

I have a quick question about relationships & maybe framing the situation will probably take a lot longer than the actual question. I know that sometimes, a non player Sim will throw out a flirt, and sometimes (without any interaction) the Sim will shoot it down. Sometimes, one can direct their own Sim to flirt, and it will also get shot down. I was wondering, if a non player Sim autonomously flirts with my Sim, and it is accepted, does the likelihood of being able to develop a pink bar with that Sim increase? Or would my Sim still have to tread on thin ice, when reciprocating, until the pink bar is established? I am curious if anyone has extensively studied the relationship thresholds. I know it sometimes seems that interactions between the player Sim & a non-player Sim don't always work the same, both ways.

[Nindigo]

Hi @CuriousSim

It all depends. If the flirting sim has the romantic trait and/or is in a flirty mood, they are usually interested in continuing. If a romance bar (pink) has started to build, then it becomes easier as it grows. That said, I do find that 'embrace' and 'kiss hands' can be too much for non-romantic sims if the bar is still in the low end or not present yet.

Another thing to consider - which I have plenty experience with - is if the sim in question is married. Married sims are more difficult to approach yet less so if they are flirty and/or have the romantic trait. Even then, though, it's usually bigger of a challenge.

My "safe" or "testing" moves are 'compliment appearance', 'flirt' and 'offer rose'. The latter is always available for romantic sims (they also have the best of luck in these matters). The interaction I have the worst of luck with is 'exchange numbers'

Hope this helped a bit.

PS: I once was able to romance the married and unflirty Lily Feng with Don Lothario while she was in a flirty mood. /achievement