Pippin: We now join the Von Carloff household where Boris is trying to become a public enemy.
Boris: So your name's J? I'm assuming it's because you couldn't spell anything larger than that?
Pippin: He's doing well.
Boris: Oh look! The circus must be in town because I just found the bearded lady!
Random Mixologist: Uh, I'm a guy...
Boris: I doubt that.
Pippin: Yes. He's doing very well. But he's doing more than just insulting people.
Bella: ...anyway, Kaitlin, this is Boris. I think you two will really hit it off.
Boris: Well hello, beautiful lady!
Pippin: Okay, she's lovely, but there's not enough room in the household for a baby mama
and a baby. And why did you just change your aspiration to serial romantic? And why are you kissing her?
Pippin: Wait, now why are you kissing Zoe?
Pippin: And Bella?!? Wait, you're really racking up the satisfaction points. Never mind. Carry on.
Boris: Actually, I think I'll research vampire lore and chat with dear Eliza.
Boris: So, Eliza, I think you and I get along rather famously.
Eliza: Oh, I agree!
Boris: So, with that in mind, if your husband were to be in some sort of horrible accident and die a terrible, agonizing death, do you think there'd be a chance you and I could be together?
Eliza: What? You mean if I were single would I go for you?
Boris: Yes. That. That's what I meant.
Eliza: (giggles) Of course I would.
Boris: I'm so delighted to hear it.
Bob: Dang, Nancy, you're lookin' fine today!
Nancy: Umm, no. Just no.
Bob: Dang it. How is Boris so smooth? Why can't I be more like him?
Pippin: Well, he is a vampire...and apparently a public enemy again?
Pippin: Oh. You ran into J again.
Pippin: Oh. And here's Dominic. You know, you're really just flying through this aspiration.
Boris: Oh, just you wait. My favorite part's coming up soon.
Pippin: I don't know whether to be excited or scared.
Pippin: Oh. You took Bella out on a date to Day Wokkers. I guess I won't be excited or scared. Just confused.
Boris: How's the nigiri?
Bella: Excellent. In fact, I think I've even figured out how to prepare it.
Boris: Oh? Isn't that delightful.
Boris and Bella: (laugh as if at some private joke)
Pippin: I'm missing something...
Pippin: And while Bella prepares some nigiri...
Boris: Hey, Bob, I really appreciate all the hard work you've done on the garden, so I'm having Bella make you a special treat.
Bob: Thanks, man!
Pippin: Badly prepared nigiri? That sounds safe.
Pippin: And it turns out it was safe as Bob escapes simply with embarrassment for being so bad with chopsticks and a case of aftertaste.
Boris: Not to worry. We move on to plan B.
Boris: Bob, old pal, I know how much you love swimming, so I had a pool put in for you.
Bob: Wow, you're the best, Boris!
Boris: Oh, OH! Skinny dipper, eh? I'll just keep looking straight ahead. Though it is too sunny out here. We need walls. And a roof. And some plants.
Bob: I'm...getting kind of...tired over here...think you could...move the planters...so I can...get out?
Boris: Hush, Bob, need to read up on vampire lore.
Bob: Oh...okay...man...
Boris: Bella! He's finally done!
Bella: Oh look. Grim's coming.
Pippin: And of course, Boris takes this opportunity to flirt with Bella while the Reaper is collecting poor Bob's soul.
Boris: Hey, I saw an opportunity, so I took it. Speaking of opportunities...
Boris: Eliza, my poor darling, you must be devastated!
Eliza: I...I just can't believe he's gone.
Boris: I know. It's a horrible loss. But fear not, I'm here for you.
Eliza: Thanks, Boris. You're the best.
Boris: Too true.
