Why Can't My Sim Propose?

[Brookaoke]

I'm not really sure where this question is supposed to go, but anyway... In Sims 4, I have two female sims, who are girlfriends. Both the green and pink relationship bars are maxed out. They're both in the family I'm playing on my current game (although one was added with the "Add to Family" cheat option), and I want to have them get married. However, the propose option never comes up, no matter what I do. I looked up the problem, and found a lot of results for this happening in Sims 3, but not Sims 4. I don't know what the problem is. Does anyone have any ideas?

[FrancescaFiori]

Hi!
There are a couple of different proposal bugs floating around right now in Sims 4. If you're not seeing a propose option at all, you've probably got the one where if Sims were promised as teens they can't get engaged for some reason as Young Adults. To fix this, have one ask the other "to just be friends," (under friendly interactions) and then build their romantic relationship back up from scratch. One they are girlfriends again and the relationship is high enough, you should be able to propose.

If you've got the other bug, where the propose option appears, but is greyed out, make sure neither of them has any other girlfriends or boyfriends, and if they do, break up with them. That should solve the issue.

I hope that helps!

[Rangervegas]

@FrancescaFiori does it have anything to do maybe with both sims being in the same family? I'm not sure how Sims 4 handles families, if it lets them develop romance relationship bars at all or totally dissalows that at all. And what happens when you add someone to your family after you've developed a romantic relationship with them, but not added them by getting married. I'm curious about this also since I've always played with mods that basically remove all that stuff.

[FrancescaFiori]

@Rangervegas  The proposal bugs I mentioned seem to occur with Sims who are totally unrelated, and my personal experience with proposal bugs in my game was with a dynasty sim and a randomly generated townie (so not even remotely a member of the same family).

The Sims 4 does place some restrictions on romance within families, though, and since I'm doing a multi-generational challenge now I can test it a bit. I went in to check and there seems to be a two-generation restriction on romance. Specifically, my founder has no romantic options when clicking on her son or granddaughter, but with her great-grandson the romance options are there, even though the family tree is totally intact and if I click on either I can trace my way back to the other one. Kind of interesting!

I'm not sure I'm interpreting your other question correctly, but as far as I know, adding a sim to your household to whom your sim is romantically linked but not married shouldn't be a problem. The game distinguishes between "family" and "household," so it doesn't automatically assume your live-in girlfriend is your sister or anything like that.

I hope that answers your questions!

[Playalot]

I've has sims that I have had in the same household marry easily. Usually I add the 'target sim' to my household so I can control the proposal etc. I did this all through my immortal dynasty actually.

@Brookaoke  Are they both at least Young Adults? If you are using any mods or even CC in your game, take them out and delete the localthumbcache.package file from the Sims 4 Folder and then reenter your game to see if they can now get engaged and then married. Remember to exit without saving though or your game will be saved in a cc-less state.

[Rangervegas]

@Rangervegas  The proposal bugs I mentioned seem to occur with Sims who are totally unrelated, and my personal experience with proposal bugs in my game was with a dynasty sim and a randomly generated townie (so not even remotely a member of the same family).

The Sims 4 does place some restrictions on romance within families, though, and since I'm doing a multi-generational challenge now I can test it a bit. I went in to check and there seems to be a two-generation restriction on romance. Specifically, my founder has no romantic options when clicking on her son or granddaughter, but with her great-grandson the romance options are there, even though the family tree is totally intact and if I click on either I can trace my way back to the other one. Kind of interesting!

I'm not sure I'm interpreting your other question correctly, but as far as I know, adding a sim to your household to whom your sim is romantically linked but not married shouldn't be a problem. The game distinguishes between "family" and "household," so it doesn't automatically assume your live-in girlfriend is your sister or anything like that.

I hope that answers your questions!

@FrancescaFiori yea that pretty much answers what I was wondering about. So the game does have a distinction between actual genetically related family and people you've simply asked to move in with you. Which if my brain had been able to think it through a bit more probably would have realized that would totally screw up a sim that got romantically involved with and then asked to move in with them, only to have the game make that person automatically part of the "Family" and end up having the game think they were related. LOL

Thanks for helping me realign my head correctly. I blame Finals Week.....LOL

[YosDoggo]

I can't use any of these techniques. My sims only have one romantic relationship and that's with each other. They aren't in the same family, only household, and they are of different genders.

They have never been teenagers. I downloaded them off of the gallery. They don't even have the "Ask to just be friends" option at all in the friendly category! There is no way for me to make them propose. I tried with both sims, but the "propose" option isn't even there!

My best guess is that they aren't boyfriend and girlfriend yet, but it gives me no "Ask to be girlfriend/boyfriend" option. Their romantic and friendship bars are up to the max. They socialize both romantically and friendly dozens of times every day, and they live together, yet they cannot be married. I checked their relationship and it doesn't say they're spouses.

I have no mods that would interfere. I only have the free "Holiday Celebration" pack that gives you a few costumes and clothes. I have another household with the same pack and I can propose in that one.

I even went into Create-a-Sim and checked if their relationships were just "Household Member". Nothing seems to work. Please help!

[MrsFlynn]

It's been suggested if you have this issue to try resetting your Sims 4 folder, aka Sims 4 Factory Reset.

Sims 4 Factory Reset - (What & Howto)
https://www.carls-sims-4-guide.com/forum/index.php?topic=29292.msg401669#msg401669