Can't Get Sims to Propose in Sims 4

[caravanova]

Hello!

I'm new here so I'm sorry if this has already been covered somewhere. I've done a lot of google searching about sims being unable to propose/go steady and it seems all the help topics out there pertain specifically to Sims 3. Here's what's going on...

I created two sims as teenagers and had them start out as living together. I got them to the point where the "ask to be boyfriend/girlfriend" option came up. Did that, they started dating. Got the option to exchange promise rings. Did that. Had them live as teenagers for a while then aged them both up to young adults via birthday cake. They maintained their romantic relationship. Now I'd like to get them engaged, but I can't for the life of me get that as an option.

I've tried making them go on several dates (all of which have achieved legendary status), I've tried making them perform several romantic interactions in a row, I've tried making them confess attraction/reveal crush/profess undying love a bunch of times, I've tried making them woohoo, I've tried every possible romantic interaction (except try for baby because I don't want them to have kids yet). Both relationship and friendship bars are at 100%. They are listed as being each other's soulmate, promised and best friends (they didn't become best friends until after they were in a relationship). Neither sim has any other romantic involvements that I can see by looking at their relationship tab.

Like I said before, the only info I've been able to find has to do with Sims 3. There is no "irresistible/extremely irresistible" that I've seen yet in Sims 4 (I've only been playing a few weeks). If there is an option to be going steady, I haven't gotten that yet, either. Another weird thing is even though they're listed as being soulmates and promised, the option "ask if single" is still available in their romantic interactions menu. And when they ask each other if the other is single, both of them will say yes.

Is there anything I've done that's making it impossible for them to propose, such as starting them off living together or aging them up? And is there a way I can make that option come up without having to scrap the whole relationship and start over? Why would they still say they are single despite being promised/soulmates/dating? Thanks in advance for any insight.

Edit: Forgot to add that I have also had both sims be flirty/very flirty at the same time and that hasn't helped either.

[oshizu]

Hello @caravanova   Welcome to the forum!

This same problem happened to a couple in my legacy household who exchanged promise rings as teenagers.
The boy was 5 days younger and when he aged up to young adult, the couple were Lovebirds, Soulmates, Best Friends, and Promised but I couldn't get the Ask to Be Boyfriend/Girlfriend social to appear.

I fixed this in my game by having the boy "Ask to be just friends" to the girl. This set their Romance bars to zero but they remained Lovebirds, Soulmates, and Best Friends so they were able to rebuild their Romance bars very quickly.
When their Romance bars were high enough, the Ask to Be Boyfriend/Girlfriend" social appeared. And after they become boyfriend/girlfriend, the "Propose" option also appeared.

Just because this worked for me, I can't say it will definitely work for your game. Maybe make a copy of your save file and try the "Ask to be just friends" social?

Good luck! (By the way, I have no idea what caused this issue in my game...)

[MarianT]

I've read that there's a problem with using Promise Rings, and I think Oshizu's suggestion is the work-around. @caravanova, when they exchanged promise rings, did your Sim get down on one knee as if proposing? And do you have the option for them to marry? It could be that the game assumes promise rings are the same as a proposal. Oh, and welcome to the forum!

[Playalot]

@caravanova  Welcome to the forum 

Teens being promised to each other causes a world of pain when trying to get them engaged as young adults/adults. I basically never promise my teens now as it is such a pain to 'fix' once they age up. 

It should be reported as a permanent bug. I have talked about this before but it was some time ago and I can't even find my own thread! But basically the 'promised' teen interaction makes it impossible for those sims to get engaged unless you do some wrangling as @oshizu suggested.

[coolsim9999999]

@Playalot --- I wonder why the promise to each other interaction was included if it's so hard to correct later.  I guess it was supposed to add a deeper level of interest for teens.

[Playalot]

It's just a bug that is low on the developers fix-list.

[coolsim9999999]

It's just a bug that is low on the developers fix-list.

@Playalot --- That's O.K.  There are enough current bugs that they need to fix --- but they do a good job of fixing the most important ones first !

[Playalot]

Hmm, some of the bug fixes they push out have been very quick, others... not quite so fast but usually SimGuruNick is good at responding to bug-tweets and/or reports on the official forums.

[coolsim9999999]

@Playalot --- Yeah, I know they try hard !

[caravanova]

Thank you everyone for the replies and warm welcomes! @oshizu I had actually tried having one sim ask the other to just be friends but they didn't seem to be getting along as well initially so I reverted back to my last save before I broke them up and decided to see if there was a different fix before I moved on with it. But I will go ahead and try that again, thanks for the suggestion! I had no idea promise rings would cause such a hassle. Never again if I plan on playing through to adulthood! 

[Rangervegas]

Just because this seems like it might coincidentally be related from another thread, watch out that one of your sims dosent have the "Serial Romantic" Aspiration. That one, along with having more than one boyfriend/girlfriend was creating a strange game situation with someone elses sim trying to get married also. Although the resulting problem was not exactly the same as yours, considering how many bugs people have been finding since the last main patch, i'd look at that also if simply following @oshizu known workaround, which I have heard of also, dosent work for some reason.

But that workaround would definitely be my first try.

[coolsim9999999]

It would be a good idea to have your Sim purchase the reward trait "observant" for 500 satisfaction points.  That way, Sims will know, right away, if another Sim has the "serial romantic aspiration .

[FrancescaFiori]

I'm afraid I may have caused some confusion by mentioning my Serial Romantic in the other thread. To clarify, Serial Romantic is not a trait, it's an aspiration, though by completing it your sim does get the Reward Trait, "Player." Observant is a useful reward trait for a lot of reasons, but it will only help your sim find out other sims' three main traits. It does not tell you about reward traits, so if the sim you are pursuing is an aspiring Player, Observant is not going to help you find out that information.

[kupus02]

I had to ask my sims to be just friends then make their romance bar over half and I got him to propose, I did have my male sim give my female sim a promise ring and I think that was the major issue.

[MarianT]

Welcome to the forum, @kupus02! Yes, I don't think they've fixed the promise rings bug yet.