Chapter 22
Chief: So you need to hold a Public Information Session and fast. We can't have half the population of Willow Creek and Oasis Springs panicking about this so called 'Cow Plant' epidemic.
Detective Parker: I don't think I'm qualified to hold a Public Information Session on the Cow Plant Chief, I'd never even heard of it until I saw Moody's one.
Chief: Then you better find some experts and fast.
Parker: Right. Unless you want me to also take a degree in biology as well.
Chief: Experts Detective. Wouldn't hurt to do some research either. Fore warned is fore armed, right.
Parker: On it Chief.
Parker: I would have gone to the university only apparently this library has what I need... it better have. Sheesh, now I'm talking to myself for real. *sigh*
Parker: K, microfiche search...
Parker: Cow Plant, cow plant, cow plant. Yes! Oh wait, no, this is plant sim. Plant Sim? Far out, how weird is that?
Parker: Hm hmm. Here we go '
Cow Plant or Laganaphyllis Simnovorii (commonly known as the Cowplant or Cow Plant) is a bizarre, partly bovine form of vegetation that is large enough to swallow a Sim whole'. No kidding.
'The genus name is derived from the words lagana (Latin for cake) and phyllis (Greek for foliage), while the species name means 'Sim eater'.
Librarian: (Pink hair) Detective Parker! I have some very interesting Science Journals on the Laganaphyllis Simnovorii if you are interested?
Parker: *under his breath*
Nothing beats living in a small town where everyone knows your business. *Out Loud* Lovely, thank you.
Parker: Lagomorpha, Lagrange...oh dear lawd I so don't want to read that article... Ah! here we are 'Laganaphyllis Simnovorii: The Bovine Sociopath of Our Day'
Parker: Well, this is rather unpleasant reading. I might just take this upstairs away from any children that might come in. Ok with you Librarian?
Librarian: Sure Detective, just bring it back to me when you're finished.
Parker: Cripes. From ancient wall hangings depicting Cowplants being fed by ancient peoples... to Senior Thesis: The Laganaphyllis Simnovorii" by sims in yesteryear universities. Looks like this is ancient information that we somehow have all forgotten or purposely not believed due to it's apparent unbelievable facts! Incredible... and not in a good way. Interestingly though, it appears if the plant is fed special food when the cake is out... keeps it from consuming sims. *Shudder* Good thing we confiscated the thing as evidence. Last thing we need is another death.
Parker: Hmm, this probably points to yet another unfortunate incident in a long series of unfortunate incidents in Kurt Moody's life. Just seems too many to be coincidence... and yet...right back to the station, I've got some serious organizing to do.
Parker: Yep, in about an hour would be great. No, I'll prep everyone before you arrive so that no-one will be too shocked. Yes, errr... no, probably a no to you bringing your...errr... equipment. Hmm. Yep, Ok. Good.
Parker: Right, that's done. One expert organized.
An hour later...
Townie: Look, all I'm saying is before everyone panics let's just listen to the detective and make an informed decision.
Detective Parker: *Clears throat*
Parker: Right. Thank you everyone for attending this Public Information session on the Laganaphyllis Simnovorii ...
Heckler: What the heck is a Laganaphyllis Simnovorii when it's at home?
Parker: A Cow Plant. *Cough* As I was saying...We know they can be leathal. HOWEVER... *crowd settles down* with careful handling and the correct special diet they remain docile and quite harmless. Our goal tonight is to answer your questions and to assure you that we have the only known specimen here at the Police Station literally under lock and key.
Parker: Our special guest is ...well a specialist in this field of research and in the err... resulting deaths. He is a rather eccentric persona so please do not be alarmed as tonight he is here in his capacity as a Cow Pant specialist. Please welcome...
Parker: Mr Grim Reaper.
Grim: Nice intro Parker.
Parker: Thanks. The floors yours.
Grim: Umm... could I just sit instead? Lying down makes me sleepy.
Grim: Right... *clears throat*
Grim: Just a few rules to help this Information Session along. Please raise your hand if you have a question and do not call out or interrupt. Common curtesy goes a long way to ensuring a pleasant learning environment and we are all here to learn today.
Grim: Now, the Cow Plant is one of THE best creations created. It's AWESOME! I get so much business out of this plant that at one time I actually was considering starting up a Cow Plant hothouse and supplying every new born nooboo with their own little cutsiy itisy bitsy baby Cow Plant. However, once my accountant looked into it he soon discovered that the taxes were an obstacle to wealth.
Grim: Probably the Cow Plant's most outstanding feature is its.... Oh! Sorry, my phone, my bad. I forgot to put it on silent. Wait a minute.
Grim: Right, where was I?
Townie: Telling us it's most outstanding feature.
Heckler: I don't see how this is helpful actually.
Townie: Shhhhhh
Grim: Right.... it's most outstanding feature is it's ability to become a loving household pet as long as you... One: feed it as soon as the cake is produced. And Two: Remember to never let a hungry sim into your home when the cake is out and for some reason you haven't got around to feeding it yet.
Grim: Right, because if you do that... you'll be getting another kind of visit from me. Hahahahhhaaaa ha *cough*
