Author Topic: A tale of Stews, Petri Dishes and Bad Puns: "Graveyard Please" (Read 2518 times)

Deklitch · « **on:** May 05, 2015, 10:22:06 PM »

My name is Stew, Disco Stew, and yes my entire life is a pun.

I never had a mum or dad, I am cloned from the DNA of some sim who had red eyes and yellow skin. I went to the school of Hard Knocks - guess you could say its been a hard knock life for me.

Yes, School of Hard Knocks, and yes, that means I'm in Midnight Hollow and have been since before the time I spent learning how to poop, talk and walk. I believe that I'm a descendant of Da Vinci, but during my childhood and adolescent years, I was never allowed to paint, sculpt or invent, so I will have to get started on those three skills. I love artistic expression, oh and dancing, of course.

I went to the library to read about inventing. All these widgets, toys and large inventions I could make, but I am forced to read about them. Besides, I want to focus on sculpting, and this voice who talks to me tells me that I need to spend time on 'supermaxing' sculpting. What, I need to sculpt on board a yacht heading from Sydney to Hobart one Boxing Day?

I've also been told by this voice that I need to get married and have an heir. Look at me, don't I already have enough hair for any one sim?

Anyway, I've followed the advice of the voice (I find he doesn't shut up if I don't) and I met her, Trang Pham, the future Mrs Stew, or so the voice tells me. Oh, and the voice tells me his name is Dek.

Me - Nice dark house you've got there, I'm Stew, Disco Stew and I need a wife. Marry me!

Trang - I've got commitment issues, so no, I won't marry you.

Dek - Wow, wonderfully subtle there, Disco.

Me - You didn't tell me to be subtle, Dek.

Trang - Who is Dek? There is no one here, but the two of us.

Me - Oh, I have a voice in my head that tells me to do things. The voice's name is Dek.

Trang - You have a voice inside your head called Dek? Guess Dek is popular at Christmas time. Awesome! I really hate painting, don't talk to me about painting, please.

Me - Fine, no painting talking. What about food? Would you like to eat with me?

Trang - Yes, provided you can help me get a voice in my head.

Trang and I travelled to the diner in town. Thankfully, Dek was quiet during the dinner while Pham and I became friends and then good friends. We also went steady, but I couldn't get her to agree to become engaged to me.

I went back to the library and read books on inventing, before spending the night in the local fire station. The next morning I returned to the library and read more books before contacting Trang again and inviting her on a date. She said yes, and we met in a quiet location around town. I moved in for a kiss, she responded in kind, I flirted with her, she flirted back, I gave her flowers and then proposed to her again. Trang said yes to the proposal and we then got married on the spot, away from the paparazzi.

After selling Trang's car, rather expensive books and camera, we had enough funds for Dek to build a basic house that looked like a badly formed t.

Dek - Hey, I could have left you outside.

Once we arrived, Pham 'met' Dek and discovered the 'surprises' he had arranged for her.

Dek - Hi Trang, welcome to the Stew family home, oh and you'll need one of these multitabs for photography, cooking and gardening.

Trang - Oh, you are Dek? Hello. Photography, cooking and gardening, all are cool! Oh and you have a sculpting station? I've always wanted to sculpt.

Dek - Good, sculpting is good for you, but you also have another task before you start sculpting.

Trang - What do you mean, Dek? *Stares and mumbles* What is that over there?

I looked to where Trang was pointing, and I saw it, a painting easel.

Dek - That, my dear, is a painting easel. You will be painting.

Trang - But I HATE painting and artwork. HATE HATE HATE it.

Dek - It comes with the job of being the founder's spouse, dear Trang.

Trang - Don't you dear Trang me, Dek. I want out of this!

Dek - I'm sorry Trang, but once you check into the Stew Dynasty you can never leave, until you die. Now, my dear, you need to get to painting skill 7, so get started, please. Just don't forget your photography tabcast!

I quietly went to the sculpting station and began to sculpt. This was going to be an interesting time. Trang went over to the easel and grumbled about how much she hated painting. She did take a photograph of me painting, however, so that'll be going up in the museum room.

Dek - I'm sure you'll appreciate the bathroom in the art room setup I designed for the founder and wife of the Stew Dynasty, just like the Duck Dynasty without the beards or tattoos.

Deklitch · « **Reply #1 on:** May 06, 2015, 06:45:21 AM »

Hey, its Disco again, thanks for dropping by.

So, between the complaining of Trang, and the arguments between Trang and Dek, I needed to get out of the house for a bit. Yeah, I know I had to get my sculpting to level 10 and complete those skill challenges. And yes, I know there is neither a book, nor a tabcast for sculpting or painting, however there were books for inventing, and I wanted to be a self employed sculptor. So, after signing up as a self employed sculptor, I went to the library to study inventing to discover ... one of the book cases floating in mid air. Now that seemed strange to me, but I was a resident of Midnight Hollow and strange was part of the experience, besides who was I to comment on the design choices of the builders of the library. I watched, and it wasn't long before the bookcase returned to the ground, and an electrocution ghost stepped out of it. Befuddled, I returned my attention to the level 3 inventing skill book.

I'm not sure how long it was, but my phone began ringing. 'Twas Trang, and she wanted me to come home as she had reached level 7 painting, and wanted to paint me so that Dek wouldn't annoy her any more.

Dek - Oi, that's not very nice.

Disco - I agree, you really shouldn't annoy her or me, or anyone for that matter. If you'll be quiet, I'll continue my story.

I left for home, posed and got my portrait painted. To celebrate, Trang and I tried for a baby. I heard chimes, although that could have just been the baby. It wasn't long before Trang was throwing up and then a baby was confirmed.

At this point, Trang followed my earlier lead and went to the library, she said she had some learning to do, and was inspired by my story to investigate and study science, all the while learning cooking and guitar through her tabcast. I went to the easel to paint and then to the sculpting station to sculpt. Trang didn't return that night, so I went to the bedroom, alone. Trang didn't come home in the morning, and I texted her to check she was alright. She said, she was, and she'd be at the library until she had learned more about science, much more.

I was sculpting in ice now, and was surprised to be asked by Trang for a sample of my DNA. She had already acquired two samples of her own DNA, and mine brought it up to four, meaning we had one more to acquire. I happily gave mine to her, it meant that future spouses would have red eyes and my yellow skin, which was, of course, a good thing.

I had returned to wood for a short space of time and while Trang was painting and expressing her great disgust at having been forced to paint, she started her contractions in front of the easel. The Midnight Hollow hospital was just down the road from us and so Trang ...

Disco - Dek, what's the word I'm looking for, how would you describe Trang's movement from home to the hospital?

Dek - waddled like an overweight drunk hippopotamus?

Trang - What?!? WHAT?!?

Dek - oh, did you hear that, dear Trang? You weren't meant to.

Trang - Yes I did 'overweight drunk hippopotamus' indeed!

Dek - well, how would you describe it, my dear Trang?

Trang - I was too busy dealing with the pain to take much notice of how I moved.

Dek - That's the best description I've got of it, Disco, you'd better come up with your own description.

Disco - Ok, I will

... walked like a woman carrying the most precious package imaginable, our son or daughter. She was radiant as she strode down the road, before crossing it to the hospital. We walked into the hospital as two, and we walked out as three! Mum, Dad and little Irish Stew, a beautiful girl nooboo.

(Note - Disco was behind her, honest, I'm just not the best at taking screenshots)

Trang walked home carrying Irish, and I followed, amazed at the little life we had brought into the world, and thankful we were being played on the computer with access to the nooboo/toddler swing and the toddler walker and playpen. Trang ordered me into the art room to continue sculpting and she walked over to the science machine.

After a short time, I heard a nooboo crying and raced out to see what was making my angel upset, to discover that there was a mini-me in the arms of my dearest, a male nooboo that we named Hunter.

Once Trang put him in the spare swing, I started it going on the slow speed, then watched him for a bit before returning to my sculpting. Before long, our two darling nooboos aged into two darling red eyed toddlers.

(Note, I'm so pleased they both have Disco's eyes

)

KRae · « **Reply #2 on:** May 06, 2015, 07:03:00 AM »

And startling, beautiful eyes they are.

Deklitch · « **Reply #3 on:** May 08, 2015, 12:54:57 AM »

My name is Trang. My surname used to be Pham, but now it is Stew. You can call me Mrs Stew, or Ma'am.

I hate art. I hate looking at it. I hate thinking about it. I hate talking about it. I hate making it. I don't know why I'm considered a world expert on art, because I'm not. If only the voice I hear would listen to me. The voice that my husband introduced me to. The voice that calls itself Dek. I have a few choice names for this voice, but I can't put them down here, in case this record gets into the hands of children. Children who I hope wouldn't know what those words mean.

Anyway, this voice called Dek insists that I have to paint, and I have to keep on painting until I can paint portraits and then I have to paint portraits of my husband and my daughter until I die. I told Dek that I was happy to do anything, just not to make me paint. I expressed my extreme dislike for painting to him, but Dek didn't listen. I offered to study science, perform alchemy, cook, garden, photograph, fish, play the guitar, sculpt and even exercise, but begged that I be allowed not to paint. Dek just said "dear Trang", but forced me to paint. Aren't there laws against sim labour?

So I did what was required of me, I painted, against my will, stopped to sculpt and to study science, and then returned to painting, all the while learning cooking, photography, gardening and guitar from my multitab, and then eventually returned to painting. Eventually I was able to do portraits, and so I did one of my husband and my daughter and then that wonderful voice known as Dek surprised me with the best gift of all time ... my very own alchemy station!

I studied alchemy, learned potions and then made potions. Friendship, bliss, skill, invocation and a range of other potions. I mixed a bit too much sulphur in one potion and the resulting smoke would have made me nauseous if I didn't have a strong stomach. Disco turned from his easel to check I was fine, before turning back to his easel. Dek decided to pay me a visit.

Dek - You will be careful, won't you Trang?

Trang - Of course, Dek, don't worry. What's the worst that could happen?

Dek - Make a worse hash of things than that last attempt and youll find out!

Trang - I am careful, Dek. Now this one needs red toadstool, any other kind of mushroom, sulpher, tongue of hog, eye of spider and a duck's wing. Will wood do, Dek?

Dek - No, I wouldn't use wood instead of duck.

Trang - Well, I have no duck, and so I will use wood.

Dek - You really shouldn't. *to Disco* You should get away from there. A magical explosion is about to occur.

I turned to see Disco hurry out of the room just before putting the wooden shaped wing into the cauldron. I could tell at once it wasn't right. The liquid turned hot and angry and I took a step backwards, and then another. But it exploded at that point, and covered me in its liquid.

I stumbled away and felt different ... I also felt hungry and looked around. Was that a fly? Delicious!

No, not flies, fries, I tried to tell myself, but I knew the truth, it really was a fly I was thinking of.

I went out into the main part of our house and Disco's expression was ... surprised/horrified/confused. Probably all three, or even confuddled.

I saw him point into a mirror, and I looked, horrified to see I was now a toad. No wonder I wanted a fly earlier. So I went back and made a cure elixir and was back to my normal art hating self in no time

SFL · « **Reply #4 on:** May 11, 2015, 09:57:27 AM »

What a unique little family you started here! I'll be reading.

Good Luck

Deklitch · « **Reply #5 on:** May 15, 2015, 08:10:00 PM »

And sadly, something happened and my computer decided to freeze. I couldn't return to that game, so I restarted, in Monte Vista.

I moved in Goopy's family, my founder went walking through Monte Vista and found her, Cherry Blossom, a dancer. They married and then ... the game froze again. No luck in returning to that game.

So I restarted again ... this time saving every few seconds, literally. So far no freezes, no crashes, no nothings including no Cherry Blossom

But I'm keeping the premise of Stews, Petri Dishes and Bad Puns, just saving a lot more. lol

Sadly, Gen 2 doesn't have the eyes of the founder, from what I can see

EtnaFan666 · « **Reply #6 on:** May 25, 2015, 10:18:05 PM »

If that were me, I'm uninstall the Sims 3 and stop playing Immortal Dynasties, it's Fate telling you that you can't do an Immortal Dynasty.

Maybe you need to do the usual factory reset because you have a save bug. Uninstall and reinstall?

Deklitch · « **Reply #7 on:** May 27, 2015, 10:59:33 PM »

Our hero, Disco Stew met Eduardo Gilscarbo on his first day in Monte Vista and invited Eduardo and family to join him on his field. Eduardo agreed to the proposal and headed to the field immediately.

Carlotta picked up the Gilscarbo's toddler son, Goopy and moved with him to the property as well. On her way, she realised she met the requirements for her LTW of Culinary Librarian and located a dusty old lamp. Shortly after they all arrived, a house and outside art studio was built.

Initial needs were to get skilled to enable museum items to get underway. Even though Eduardo had two points in painting, Carlotta's artistic trait won out and she was designated initial painter, and she learnt photography thanks to a multitab.

Eduardo was instead used as original sculptor - getting to 25 ice sculptures was essential for him.

Goopy Gilscarbo meanwhile was a toddler. He was put in the walker to learn how to walker, and the play pen to learn how to talk. His future father in law was in charge of potty training due to the other tasks being performed by his parents.

Eduardo was given a leave of absence from the sculpting station to take Goopy to his birthday cake for his child birthday.

And it wasn't long before Goopy made his own way back to the cake for his teen birthday.

Goopy wanted to become a professional writer, but sadly for him, he was destined to become the Gen 2 spouse.
So he was instead forced into painting, and then into sculpting (and also photography via multitab). But as a teen he was more interested in eating ... in his pjs.

An invisible trait he evidently picked up from his father, Eduardo, who loved to sculpt in ice ... in his pjs.

Our hero, Disco, meanwhile took a class in inventing and painting before going to the library to complete further research in inventing. He dozed in the library and dreamed he met a brown haired woman with a flower in her hair. Her name was 'Cherry Blossom'. She was a dancer. She said she wanted to go to San Francisco.

He romanced her, and asked her to marry ...

She said yes.

They woohooed at home and ...

Suddenly her voiced changed. She began shaking him. He woke with a start.

"Sir, this is a library, not a hotel room," the librarian stated, "read and/or borrow a book, or leave."

He left and went to the local diner for a meal. Then he saw he, his future wife, a blond haired beauty (at least to his eyes) who wore glasses.
She didn't laugh at his jokes, and he discovered she didn't have a sense of humour. But she was a hopeless romantic and responded to him in kind.
Her name was Paloma Giordana and she had three sisters. By the end of their meal she agreed to change her name to Paloma Stew.