Chapter Thirty-Two: Death Of A Naturalist
Hi hi~
Though my time in Granite Falls is short I’ve gotten used to hearing crickets and birdsong rather than city noises like cars and the tram bell ringing, or Mum shooting into the sky with that awful racket from her rocket.
See how pretty the forest is with butterflies fluttering around freely only to be snapped into someone’s hand (usually mine) then locked away forever in a plastic box. The poor things, I’m sorry but it has to be done.
Watch as I stealthily approach unsuspecting beetles going around in circles.
My cruel hands reach out...
...and close in to find a terrified little beastie glowing orange and ticking my palms.
Aw, mama’s gonna treat you right.
But not really. I had to fry it at the nearest campfire, all the time thinking of something else and NOT the tiny cries of a dying beetle.
Grub’s up, Genie, come and get it. *snickers*
Let me guess, there’s something lurking in here?
You know me so well, take a bite already!
So?
Hmm. Crunchy, could do with a little ketchup.
You’re so gross.
There isn’t much time to go tramping around in the woods on my own so I gathered as many wild plants as possible and mailed them home. The spare plants were chopped and boiled in a pot, as Bigby had suggested I had to experiment and find out what combination of plants and insects created certain potions.
Pinch of Basil.
Swatting of mosquitoes.
Handful of Noxious Elderberries. Ta dah! We have ourselves a dozen or so insect repellent for next time.
Oi, I’ve been calling you for half an hour.
Busy.
It’s time to go home.
For more fishing?
Yes, if that is your desire, chop chop.
Genie might be content with fishing but I had a whole week to master herbalism and discover new recipes, along with planting the herbs from Granite Falls. Mum’s idea of a greenhouse was so ugly and distracting I had to think of a new idea for the gardening area. Especially since it’ll be my own special place in our lot.
Mum, you know how in Simmywood movies there’s a really cute girl and she’s dating a much older man?
Yeees?
Well, isn’t it weird how at the end when they finally decide to be together we’re all like: Aw, how sweet, they’re such a cute couple. But in real life we’d be all: Ew, he’s old. He’s like fifty or something, what was she thinking?
Are you trying to tell me you have a boyfriend and he’s much older than you?
Nooo. More like, would you and Dad be mad if I dated someone older or if I was a cougar?
She was speechless for a minute. I believe part of her thought maybe I’d get together with Genie or something since I’d shown no interest in dating.
If that’s what you want then it’s up to you, love. My time to make decisions for the dynasty is over, it’s you who has the ultimate say but Johnny and I are here if you need any advice. Nothing is set in stone until you want it to be. Does that help?
Um... *groans*
Somewhat. Thanks, Mum. I bet Dad would have flipped a table and demanded to know who the guy was!
Oh, I definitely want to know. Need to either prepare to welcome him or thrash him.And that was my cue to leave her rambling about whether the Hurricane Punch was suitable or maybe the Stinging Viper. (I have no idea where she comes up with these things!)
I sat in my room for the next few hours, pouring through
A Beginner’s Guide To Herbalism.
The thooming sound we had become familiar with announced the arrival of Mum’s alien friends.
Little did we know what was about to happen...
Love from Cora Z Chant.
