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Do you possibly have aging turned off in the options?
Have you tried resetsimmming her?
This same thing happened to me. She was still visible and her icon was still there, but she wouldn't age up, I couldn't edit her in CAS, and trying to move the family so I could restore her didn't do anything but freeze up my game...she even disappeared from my family's portrait when I clicked the house in Edit Town mode! I ended up just starting a new game, which was sad, because I'd put a lot of time into that family.
Have you tried any of these tips?Cheating the toddler into aging up? -- Ctrl-Shift-C to bring up the cheat console and enter in 'testingCheatsenabled true'. Go to the toddler Shift-click on them and choose 'Trigger age transition'Move the toddler (with a parent) out and back inChange their clothing before hand.Something else that comes to mind is maybe a mod or 3rd party custom content might be interfering with the toddler aging up, maybe?MrsFlynn