Author Topic: The Blackrose Immortal Dynasty Chapter 3 (6/20)  (Read 4423 times)

Offline Aredhelrim12

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The Blackrose Immortal Dynasty Chapter 3 (6/20)
« on: June 15, 2014, 05:52:47 PM »


Benjamin Blackrose is my name. I know what you're thinking. "Doesn't look very tough for a name like Blackrose." Right?
The country I came from knows Blackrose as a traitor's name. My family has been treated unfairly for centuries,
and nobody remembers why.



Being the only Blackrose child left, my parents sent me away with their meager savings so I could do better for the family name.
I could have started in the big city like most of us foreigners do, but the quiet mysterious air of Moonlight Falls seemed
to be the best fit for me.



I met a nice girl shortly after I arrived. Haley Sumari. She had a welcoming attitude, and as soon as I started talking to
her, she realized how ambitious I was. It wasn't a patient sort of ambition when I was young.



Not patient at all.



I built the beginnings of our new life with what little I had. Haley was learning to paint. I was still learning the language.



I had a sense of humor then, maximizing bathroom privacy in our open faced floor plan.



In the early hours of morning, I went to the backyard and buried the seed of the old Blackroses.



And soon enough, the new Blackroses began to flourish.


Thank you for reading the first segment of The Blackrose Immortal Dynasty. Thoughts, questions and suggestions about the story or the playing of the immortal dynasty are welcome and appreciated. And don't worry! The story will definitely be more light-hearted in the future.
The Blackrose Immortal Dynasty is being played with all expansions but Seasons.

Offline Trip

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Re: The Blackrose Immortal Dynasty
« Reply #1 on: June 15, 2014, 06:21:09 PM »
Great start! I don't really have any suggestions, I'm afraid, other than keep writing because you do a good job with it.
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Offline MarianT

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Re: The Blackrose Immortal Dynasty
« Reply #2 on: June 15, 2014, 07:01:55 AM »
You're off to a good beginning! Good luck to Benjamin and Haley!
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Offline Tiamet

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Re: The Blackrose Immortal Dynasty
« Reply #3 on: June 15, 2014, 12:59:06 PM »
I really like that little touch about Benjamin learning the language and reading the newspaper.  It's little details like that that make a story real.  Well done!
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Offline Geniequeen122

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Re: The Blackrose Immortal Dynasty
« Reply #4 on: June 16, 2014, 07:16:57 AM »
Hate to be a critique here but, how did he ask her to move in if he didn't know her language? Keep on writing ,good story so far  ;)

Offline Aredhelrim12

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Re: The Blackrose Immortal Dynasty
« Reply #5 on: June 16, 2014, 11:30:37 AM »
Hate to be a critique here but, how did he ask her to move in if he didn't know her language? Keep on writing ,good story so far  ;)
It's being assumed that he knows enough of the language to communicate or she knows this foreign language enough to talk to him.
Benjamin is continuing learning the language to be successful in his new home. I just left it open-ended on purpose to leave his origins to the imagination. When I read a story I love it when the writer leaves things for the reader to decide or to find out later.

Thank you all for commenting! I am finishing up my play session for today, and should have the next chapter posted by tonight. I really like writing the story right after I play each part because it keeps the events fresh in my mind.

Offline Aredhelrim12

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Re: The Blackrose Immortal Dynasty
« Reply #6 on: June 16, 2014, 05:35:46 PM »
Blackrose Journal Entry #1 by Benjamin Blackrose

I started this journal for the Blackrose family to keep a record of their lives and accomplishments. My entries will be the first.
I hope that recording my new life will help my family in their quest for greatness.



When we first built our house, there was not much in the way of privacy in the building. Money was very tight and we decided that a roof over our heads was a must. Haley asked one of her old roommates, Malcom Harris if he would move in with us. His simply replied, "Only if I'm the only one who can see myself showering."

It was a done deal.



Malcolm has been keeping himself busy. He says that his first sculpture was supposed to be a self potrait...
Well, talent or no talent aside, at least it paid for a roof.



When I was in high school I took an interest in science, but was discouraged to chase my dreams because of my circumstances there.
I applied for a job at the hospital as soon as I could to be a Test Subject. I read the news and speak to locals everyday to keep learning the language. Hopefully it will impress my boss. While it may not be my dream, it is one step in the right direction.



When I'm not busy at work, or in the garden, I fish. It helps with fertilizing and passing time for me. I like to keep myself busy as much as possible. Except I never break the golden rule.



Always leave time for your wife.



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Offline Magpie2012

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Re: The Blackrose Immortal Dynasty Chapter 2
« Reply #7 on: June 16, 2014, 06:15:18 PM »
He has the right idea! Bad relationship with wife = death to male lol
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Offline Malley

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Re: The Blackrose Immortal Dynasty Chapter 2
« Reply #8 on: June 16, 2014, 10:15:04 PM »
Nice start so far!  I like the backstory behind your founder-very interesting!  I used Haley in my second decadynasty.  I like her, so it's nice to see her being used in another dynasty.  Good work.

Offline perksofbeingrachel

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Re: The Blackrose Immortal Dynasty Chapter 2
« Reply #9 on: June 18, 2014, 05:38:46 AM »
That sunset fishing picture is gorgeous. Good luck on your dynasty!

Offline Aredhelrim12

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Re: The Blackrose Immortal Dynasty Chapter 2
« Reply #10 on: June 20, 2014, 02:29:11 AM »
Blackrose Journal Entry #2 by Haley Blackrose


The Blackrose family tree has grown another branch... named Viktor! He is always smiling and always hungry.



While we did get a roof over our heads and siding on the house, we had little more than a bed, a fridge, a toilet and a shower. Then Malcolm suprised us by presenting his first ice sculpture! The jukebox was a wedding gift that we thought Malcolm would enjoy the most.



Malcolm earned himself a private studio and a cleaner artsy wardrobe.



Ben got a promotion to the lab handyman, so we expanded the house to include a master bedroom and bathroom.



Expanding the house meant making a few sacrifices, like eating in the new master bathroom, and not the dining area. Ben is rarely home, and I worry that he doesn't spend enough time with Viktor. I bought myself a new outfit and got my hair done while Viktor took care of Malcolm. Or wait... No. That's right.



I freely admit to rolling my eyes at Ben's absence from Viktor's birthday party. And the smell of that werewolf he works with. Param Singh.



I met up with Alice Fitzgerald, another of my old roommates, at Viktor's party. She needed a place to live because she found out that Deedee Wynn is a witch! I quickly agreed and welcomed her and her pocketbook into the family.



Malcolm was overjoyed to be the first of us to eat at our own dining table. Thanks to Alice.



Oh, and Viktor got Ben's blue eyes, and went for my dark hair instead of sprouting a carrot top.

I know things have to be hectic in this life. Viktor's cute laughs and my painting sessions make it bearable. If only Ben would be home for it all.

Haley Blackrose



He has the right idea! Bad relationship with wife = death to male lol
Ben still has much to learn.

Nice start so far!  I like the backstory behind your founder-very interesting!  I used Haley in my second decadynasty.  I like her, so it's nice to see her being used in another dynasty.  Good work.
I honestly have never played in Moonlight Falls before. I recently got all of the expansions and it's been a bit overwhelming, but I love them all.
I just did some research to find an female artistic townie, and I believe Haley was the only YA one. It also felt wrong to take her leggings away.

That sunset fishing picture is gorgeous. Good luck on your dynasty!
I hope my screenshots improve! This is my second try at an immortal dynasty and it's going remarkably well so far.


Thank you all for reading and commenting! I love playing the game to make a story while still having the challenge of the dynasty to overcome.
Some chapters may have more writing, and some may rely more on screenshots. My writing will probably be change every chapter, so keep letting me know what you think!

Offline Malley

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Re: The Blackrose Immortal Dynasty Chapter 3 (6/20)
« Reply #11 on: June 20, 2014, 10:51:59 AM »
Nice to see Haley narrate a chapter.  I liked being able to see her thoughts on what's going on in the dynasty.  And happy birthday, Viktor!

Online MrsFlynn

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Re: The Blackrose Immortal Dynasty Chapter 3 (6/20)
« Reply #12 on: December 02, 2014, 05:20:56 PM »
This story has been locked and moved to the Stories Graveyard, due to it not being updated or
posted to in over 6 months. The author can revive it at any time by contacting a moderator.

As per story rules, Stories can be moved to the Stories Graveyard if they are older than 6 months

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Locked and moved by: MrsFlynn -- Dec.02.2014
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