Pippin: Arienne. Arienne? We need to talk.
Arienne: If you're disturbing my sleep, you'd better have a good reason.
Pippin: I think you should have babies sooner rather than later.
Arienne: Goodnight, Pippin.
Pippin: No, hear me out. You have built-in babysitters in Devin and Cara. Also, having babies now would give you about a good week off of work. You could use that time to finish your lifetime wish.
Arienne: So what?
Pippin: Vlad may let you be his co-emperor of evil, but he's a vampire and will outlive you...unless you get an age freeze potion like your mom did.
Arienne: Ah, I could be the
immortal empress of evil. Okay, I'm in.
Pippin: I'm sure Devin will be delighted.
Pippin: He'll make such a good father.
Arienne: Oh. Yes. Devin. Right.
Pippin: (sigh) Guess expecting marital fidelity was asking a bit much.
Arienne: Liam has better genes. Look at the strong facial features and the muscular build. Way better than this schmuck.
Arienne: Now we just need a few supplies.
Arienne: Cara! Go to the store and pick up a rocking chair. Oh, and a crib. And while you're out, get a radio.
Cara: But I was just about to eat.
Arienne: No worries. I packed you a snack to go.
Cara: Oh, that's...unexpectedly kind.
Pippin: So, have you turned over a new leaf with poor Cara?
Arienne: No. I packed her a ghost chili.
Pippin: Skipping ahead to the next day, we find Arienne heading off to work when she should probably be staying home.
Arienne: What? I feel fine. I'm not even sure the pregnancy took.
Arienne: Oh. Well, I guess it's no surprise that I got it right on the first try. I am rather awesome. Time to work on that lifetime wish.
Cara: Well, since the wicked witch is distracted with skill-building, the beautiful princess can actually sneak out for a bit. Social time!
Pippin: So, Arienne, Cara tells me that Angie and Tipton are expecting another baby.
Arienne: And Devin is expecting that these babies will be his.
Pippin: "These" babies?
Arienne: The radio. It was so I could listen to the kids music station. I don't want to waste any more time on pregnancy than I have to.
You made the ridiculous decision that each heir needed to have multiple babies. That doesn't mean
I need to suffer any more than necessary to provide the brats.
Pippin: Wow, what a good mom you'll make.
Arienne: Eh, I don't have to be a good parent. I have people to do that for me. Oh, and it's about time to pop these monsters out.
Arienne: I had twins.
Pippin: But, you only have one child there.
Arienne: I'm having the other delivered to the house.
Pippin: I don't think that's what "delivering the baby" really was intended to mean...
Arienne: Well, I'm just dropping them off to Devin anyway.
Pippin: Twin girls. They're absolutely beautiful, Arienne. What are their names?
Arienne: I named one of them Malificent and the other Medb.
Pippin: Villianous women from fairy tales and folklore?
Arienne: Of course.
Pippin: And I see that the painting skill is coming along.
Arienne: Yep, only a couple more levels to go and then a few more in guitar and I've got it. Good thing my idiot husband is taking care of my children.
Pippin: But why isn't Cara helping take care of the babies?
Arienne: She said she'd be cleaning the bathrooms for a while.
