The Shadows Bring The Starlight {Finished}

[Eldridge]

Eldridge:

It's nice to meet you too! Thank you for your detailed comment, and for liking my story. You can call me CP.

You’re welcome, I think that you’re deserved every bit of it after what kind of effort that you put into your story. Thanks for sharing your story with us. There a lot of great stories here and people put their own effort into making one, each one is unique and I love reading them all because from their own writing style I could see what kind of world that they living in.

Form of Art like writing, painting or something related to it is an embodiment and manifestation of our Soul. Sometimes we realized about that, sometimes which was hidden unconsciously. That was I read from a book, I forgot the book name, duh. To make it simple, a song that created by songwriter often reflect their life story. Like Taylor Swift with all her romance history, you can see those connections through her life and her song.

Ha ha, I sometimes look at the neat floors of my sims and say to myself, "That's not a room! In my room you can't even see the floor!" I look at what people like to have around them when they're relaxing, and I look at what's around in my classroom, and I go for realism. And well, the scenery in Sims 3 is already amazing, so I make use of that.

Yeah, I also agree with your point. My Sims always neat and everything always clean but me in the real world, just meh… Look into the room just like a wrecked ship. If my Mum didn’t come over and order me to clean right away, maybe piles of book, thrash and everything else still lurking around. I think it’s quite funny to consider when you’re look like quiet, reserved, cool and elegant looking (pah!) at school but you just like a hobo at home and no one ever wonder about that

Second to the story, I always loved to see screenshots that everyone provided. It adds so much to the story, about their facial expressions, about what their feel. I think Sims is great for that. I see that you also good using your timing to capture those screenshots, I just wonder the effort that you give to your project. I usually took a lot of screenshots for the scene that I wanted and it’s quite annoying until I get the right one but that was satisfying in the end.

I sincerely think you are a very perceptive and talented writer. Would you believe that I only recently discovered what you already convey in your story? To put it in blunt terms: the world doesn't revolve around me. I've been trying to understand people these days, see things from their point of view. Melissa is quite honestly not me; she embodies a lot of things I do not and she does a lot of things I would never do. I disliked her so much prior to the writing of this story, but I've been examining her motivations - trying to see why she does what she does. This made all the more difficult by the fact that she doesn't always know why she does what she does either. We are similar in that respect. It's also impossible to dislike someone you truly understand, don't you think?

Thank you kindly for that, CP.  I… never get that kind of compliment in real life because I never show my stories at once to my friends as I am shy and not confident about my own writing, especially about my grammar and spelling mistake, all of my friends usually known as Grammar Nazi, instead looking into my story, they would focus on something else that I’m not good at and make me feel discouraged. So posting here is my first time and my first experience ever that people reading on and everybody has been kind to me.

Melissa is quite honestly not me; she embodies a lot of things I do not and she does a lot of things I would never do. I disliked her so much prior to the writing of this story, but I've been examining her motivations - trying to see why she does what she does. This made all the more difficult by the fact that she doesn't always know why she does what she does either. We are similar in that respect. It's also impossible to dislike someone you truly understand, don't you think?

All of my character personality in the story also based on that, based on what we want to be, based on our true feeling, our fear, our denial, our regret, our interest, our past, our mistakes and everything else that you can add and search that for yourself. I can’t be sure but sometimes it’s something that related to us but not us to begin with and it was all connected.

To make it simple: You know that what we are? We are the accumulation of the people that we encounter with. That makes who we are. Some old folk saying that to me

So, I agree for that for impossible to dislike somebody that you truly understand. 

As for advice, here's some that puts it better than I ever can -
 
When I get lost, I really get lost! (Don't do that.)

Oooh, I always love quote. I often have several bookmarks that I created myself and the quote is from people that I know, adore and loved and put that in the book that I read. Thank you again for that and for the advice. I also have friend who older than me and she’s a children book writer, I ask her how can I be good like her. She just said to me: Practice, Read and Observe. And speaking about lost, I lost often as I don’t know to deal with direction, even at near home I also get lost and end up panic and crying for somebody help to get me home, which mean that was so embarrassing moment.

Don't worry if you make mistakes! What's important is that you make people, including me, reflect on ourselves and how we view the world. And keep loving yourself!

Thank you, CP. I think everyone makes mistakes and from that mistake we learn something precious about life if we realized that. People often fall into the same hole over and over again and never learn, I also like that


To the current chapter then!

Mmm…  I’m speechless when I read the next part, there are a lot of new terms for me and you did a good job for using those words, which make your storytelling richer. You know that suitable term or word could give more touch and feeling for the story. So, thank you again I learn again the new thing, which was fun!

I also loved the real world reference in your story. It makes me who don’t know curious and want to find out what is that. Then, how Melissa deal with herself, oh boy that was the tough part,I hope that Melissa could deal with her situation before it becomes a real problem in the future.

You’re totally opposite from me. Well, I am a Christian but I’m kinda open to any religions teaching and often mixed them up in my story. Just in case added to reflect about myself, that’s the purpose. I’m not a religious person to begin with and add them up in the story make me think more about it.

Sometimes we could find interesting thing if we have open mind toward a new things instead keep fixated to one thing alone. I also have friends from different religion as well and we don’t have any problem with the difference. We do know that all kind of religions are teaching us about love and kindness, the problem is the people.

Looking at your ‘Nya’ statement… Hmm, don’t say that you love Anime or Japanese related things?

And I’m curious about the title. I believe this is related to the story itself somewhere Would you mind to tell me about it? If the title contain spoiler, I’d love to say that you don’t have to do that as that might spoiling my fun

[CPericardium]

That's another part of Melissa I don't understand. She doesn't like art. She hates reading. I had to ask friends who didn't like those things so that I could write her properly.

I think it’s quite funny to consider when you’re look like quiet, reserved, cool and elegant looking (pah!) at school but you just like a hobo at home and no one ever wonder about that

THIS. Is so true.

I love the screenshots everyone takes too! What I do is set a few things up, make my sims do what I want them to be doing, pause and then I build the room around them based on what angle I'm shooting from. That way I get exactly the kind of shot I want.

You know what my favourite screenshot of yours is? It's the one in black-and-white, where Goodwin Goode, a small negligible figure, stands before a massive set of pillars and it's raining and all he says is 'The place is surprisingly quiet and I had some funny feeling.'

That was so powerful.

My favourite screenshot that I took was the last one of the previous chapter where Melissa looks kinda sad while doing her homework.

I'm...actually a grammar Nazi myself, but I don't think it's fair to do when the story is still very good in its own right. When I think a story is bad - especially when it's a published story - I will pick on the micro errors as well as the macro flaws because I'm petty like that.

I also don't show my friends my stories, because I'm not comfortable with showing them the subject matter. I'm guess I'm afraid they might read into the character's thoughts and actions, and think that they are my own.
And at the same time I'm most afraid that they're not going to read enough into it.

I've heard it said that we are more than the total of our our bodies, our thoughts, our relationships, our experiences, our lives. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts so to speak.

~~~

I've only read one or two obscure mangas to completion, but I have a few friends who are addicted to that stuff. 

The title! Finally someone asks. Ha. Like your story, it's from a song, which is pretty relevant listening, considering that it was what I was listening to while writing the earlier parts. If I were being artistic/pretentious I would say it's related to Melissa's struggle to find her place in the world. She's a sheltered rich kid from the big city. Her greatest suffering is getting a twelve on a twenty-five mark test. And she wonders why she doesn't quite feel alive.

She needs to experience the shadows before she can see the starlight.

(In the larger story I had planned, Ditzy Vampire Protagonist went off to have transcendental soul-searching journeys up hill and down dale, her university dormmate Unfriendly Caffeine-Addicted Albino Side Character just wanted to stay home and study the whole time. And I was all, NO! You have to search for your soul too! In a prequel! Yeah…)

If I were being truthful, I just decided it would be the title moments before posting, because the working title didn't fit anymore.

I'm Catholic, but - hm. Spoilers! Let's just say I know some people don't like religious stuff in stories.

[Eldridge]

That's another part of Melissa I don't understand. She doesn't like art. She hates reading. I had to ask friends who didn't like those things so that I could write her properly.

You also have research on your story by asking your friend. That's wonderful, I also ask someone or searching via Mr. Google if there's something that I'm not understand.

I'm...actually a grammar Nazi myself, but I don't think it's fair to do when the story is still very good in its own right. When I think a story is bad - especially when it's a published story - I will pick on the micro errors as well as the macro flaws because I'm petty like that.

Oh, I’m glad if you think that way, I think that’s fair enough considering about thing first. You know that words are powerful tool. A word that we say can make someone reach their dream or shatter their dream. So, when I saw someone stories I prefer to see their own strength despite their weaknesses, as I am also has my own weaknesses and when I said that I truly meant that what’s the strength of them. I love to observed people around me, haha.

I've heard it said that we are more than the total of our our bodies, our thoughts, our relationships, our experiences, our lives. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts so to speak.

Oh, thank you for the link, CP. I love learning but I hate studying, especially when if it comes to have a scary teacher or being forced to do one. How teacher deal with student also affect like/dislike toward the subjects you know and you also can relate this to me

I've only read one or two obscure mangas to completion, but I have a few friends who are addicted to that stuff. 

Oh, I happen to love reading mangas after my favourite comics and cartoons of course! They always come up with ingenious idea by consider taking something that we never expected. I love stories that take a reference to real world like used terms from medical stuff, psychology and philosophy thing or something like that.

The title! Finally someone asks. Ha. Like your story, it's from a song, which is pretty relevant listening, considering that it was what I was listening to while writing the earlier parts. If I were being artistic/pretentious I would say it's related to Melissa's struggle to find her place in the world. She's a sheltered rich kid from the big city. Her greatest suffering is getting a twelve on a twenty-five mark test. And she wonders why she doesn't quite feel alive.

About the title part, hmm let say that I always curious when people set that up in their story. In my first story: The Demosthenes is already related to the ending itself from the title. As Demosthenes is a real life person in Greek era that had a hard life even he known as great orator in his time and end up with suicide. I think that was too sad. So, the last generations in my Dynasty challenge. The heir already fixed as his name will be Demosthenes as I want to recreate his own life story with my own idea and he’d have a happy ending. I guess that I have soft spot with people with unfortunate life. Somehow, I want to make them find the happiness that they seek

That's for example. One title just can tell the whole of the story. Thank you for the link of the song, that was wonderful.  Ohh, Melissa story quite looks like me about finding her own place part.

This is the lyric part that I loved

Still you known
There’s so much more to find –
Another dream, another love you’ll hold

Still you know
To trust your own true mind
On your way – you are not alone
There are those who still know

She needs to experience the shadows before she can see the starlight.

I love when you said something like this. I believe every people when they want to find their true happiness they must go through bitter part in their life before they can taste the sweet ending.

I'm Catholic, but - hm. Spoilers! Let's just say I know some people don't like religious stuff in stories.

I guess some people just don't like that stuff but when it used well even people who don’t like that stuff can accept. You know, um a little word play, some people good with it and I still don’t get it. You know that there’s story that based on religious teaching in game. You know Xenosaga? It’s old game though (2002), I love that game but too bad the game ends with a cliffhanger ending in part III.

They mixed up a good story with something that quite sensitive to some people. I also hear about Xenogear who also has preaching in the game and people maybe just don’t care because what their after is the gameplay. That’s why I loved RPG because they usually come up with a good storyline, which was I after. Oh, I’m a gamer myself. I often hear about these stories from my sister.

[CPericardium]

Part 5

Food was banned from the classrooms, but there was an unspoken Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy that the girls in the cohort upheld dutifully. It was in play when Clementine Morris snuck in an exotic snack one afternoon.



Her excitement had infected the girls who weren’t in the canteen; they huddled around the lunchbox she placed on the table.

Melissa, in the middle of stacking her files on the desk, listened in, but did not participate. With all the mandatory career talks and cyber-wellness programmes going on at the same time, there was less than a week left to clear their desks and lockers – and Melissa had a lot of things to clear.



“What is that!” Josie wrinkled her nose at the veiny yellow egg in the opened lunch box.

“Balut. It’s a duck embryo, boiled alive and seasoned.” Clementine said, licking her lips. “My aunt made it and I watched. She said it was an Asian delicacy.”

“Well, it looks like pure horrible in a shell,” sniffed Josie, towering over the desk. “It’s also barbaric. You’re eating a duckling.”

Clementine shrugged and jabbed at the partially shelled balut with a plastic fork. “It’s already dead. You eat eggs.”

“You might find that I do not, actually. I’m a vegan.”

"Yeah, yeah, eat your tofu and rhubarb. I'm gonna eat this."



Gently, Clementine dug out a slimy chunk and took a bite. The girls jostling her watched her expression change from anticipation to slight discomfort.

“How does it taste?” asked Gail.

Clementine hesitated and swirled the morsel around in her mouth. “Salty. Tough to chew.” She took a swig from her water bottle. “I wish it was still warm.”

“I want to try that.” Gail broke off a slippery wedge of egg with her fingernails and popped it on her tongue.

Josie laughed. “You guys are disgusting! Somewhere, right now, birds of paradise are wailing your names.”
But she had a sip of the broth. “Ergh!”

“Do you hear that quacking? Josie! Josieee! You ate my son!”

“Hee hee hee…shut up. You chewed its son. And hurry up, recess ends at eleven.”

After Clementine had consumed a fair portion of her treat and a few of the other girls had made their own forays into chick-eating accompanied by varying descriptions of its flavour, they left the classroom – taking their laughter and banter with them.



~

Early on, Melissa had twigged that the hallmark of intelligence wasn’t so much mental capacity as it was curiosity.

While her classmates asked the teachers endless questions that, to all outside appearances, were tangential to the lectures at best, she’d always viewed such interruptions as distractions and was appropriately annoyed. After finishing the assigned tasks during Chemistry lessons, she waited for further instruction and observed, appalled, as her lab partner Lauren fiddled with the litmus paper and titrated aqueous ammonia into ferrous compounds to ‘see what would happen’.

It wasn’t just that they excelled academically, it was that they grasped everything so easily. Melissa’s gifts were confined to Mathematics and Physics, and subjects that required high retention. Language subjects, History and embarrassingly, Chemistry, eluded her.

What she was, was jaded.

It was like she was trapped in a frigid dome of intellectual stasis, compelled to watch her classmates blossom around her.

She figured they must have had practice.

In retrospect, it was so obvious. When they were kicking soccer balls around and mixing up cocktails of amylase and copper (II) sulfate and hydrochloric acid, they were really studying…curiosity.

And there was nothing Melissa did better than study.

She read everything from the nutritional facts on the back of her honey nut cereal box to the daily newspapers to the impenetrable jargon in her parents’ scientific journals. She made a list of books she would force herself to read: classics, famous plays, historical allegories, epic poems. On Saturdays, she hitched rides to the public library from her father when he was heading back to work after having lunch at home.

Although she was a long way from potentially hazardous experimentation with chemicals, Melissa hurled her heart and soul into being curious.

Her amused father told her it was impossible to know everything – or anything, for that matter, because knowing implied finality, that there was a limit to information. All the more she wanted to know. Finality sounded like satisfaction. More than anything she wanted to be sated. A dream of hers was to become a living knowledge repository. Maybe then she would feel – complete.

But where did knowledge of high-fructose corn syrup and DNA sequencing and The Aeneid get her?

The problem, she realised, is that I can recite every line verbatim and I can tell you what the literary critics say, but I can contribute no original insights of my own.

I know, but I do not understand. I am the very model of the modern major-general.

Melissa tried explaining this to her mother once. She didn’t seem to get it.



“I read every one of the classics by the time I was your age, and I understood them," her mother said, heading into a back room to change her clothes so that she could use the research station.

Melissa waited, tapping her foot. She knew it was to prevent contamination of the research station after gel electrophoresis, but it baffled her that nucleic acids could somehow adulterate the same nucleic acids. DNA was DNA. A lab coat was a lab coat.

Her mother emerged, snapping a clean pair of gloves in place. "Atlas Shrugged changed my life.”

That doorstopper had taken Melissa two long, arduous weeks to read from cover to cover. What was next on the list? War and Peace. Hooray. “You’re a geneticist. John Galt was a menial worker.”

“If memory serves, Dagny Taggart was the main character,” teased her mother, “but you guessed right. Galt was the real protagonist, because – and you’re forgetting this – he was also an idealist. He had all these fantastic philosophies that not only drove, but revolutionised an industry. In him, emotion and rationality coexisted in harmony. He didn't just have a mind. He didn't just design a motor. He was the mind of the society he lived in; he was the motor of progress, of civilisation."
 


There was a weighty pause.

Melissa blinked. “I don’t think I can naturally do that sort of thing. Analysis and character interpretation, I mean. It’s hard enough doing that for Literature. I see things as they are, not as symbols.”

“Then you aren’t seeing, my dear. You’re looking. You’re using visceral reactions as your moral compass.”

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Didn’t I say that? “I know. How do I change that?”

“Don’t raise your voice at me," chided her mother. She pecked at the keys in front of her. "The only advice I can give you is to keep thinking. Books aren't about characters as much as they are about people. That's why to understand, you have to examine yourself and how you relate to other people. Surely you've noticed that the best kind of people - the true geniuses of the universe are the people who live in their minds. And certainly, keep reading, Melissa. You'll see. Everything is a symbol. There is nothing that cannot be learnt from a book." Her eyes glinted behind her goggles."One day you will find one that will colour your worldview forever."

That wasn't very pleasant to hear. "What are you doing, anyway?"

"Gene splicing." She gazed dejectedly at whatever disappointing data was on the screen. "Hopefully, one lucky, lucky day, we'll be able to clone humans."

Melissa wondered why anyone would ever hope that. Being human was a colossal pain.



~~~

Sorry for the weird greenness in some of the screenshots. I tried to fix it with filters. It had something to do with Yvette getting abducted by aliens (?!) in the middle of shooting and didn’t go away till sun-up.

Also, war! What is it good for?

[Tori-Alice-8D]

I love this story! I usually don't post on the forums, but I have to say well done!

I've clicked the notify button, so I will be reading, if not commenting

[CPericardium]

Eld:

Thank you! It's so nice to talk to you.

I'm thrilled that you mentioned the power of words. Grammar is not so hugely important as coherence(though they are linked.).
Stories can be good even if there are mistakes. It's those stories with unfortunate implications and major flaws in concept/execution that should be taken to task.

(And there are words I just fall in love with and would use over and over for their sound alone, if I could.)

Google is a constant companion when I'm writing too. If only some published authors would utilise it. Groan.

And you said it: Learning is fun. Studying is usually not. I have a stack of books under my desk that I would love to absorb information from, through diffusion.

...somehow you just managed to pick out my exact favourite lines of that song too! 

And:

Those you've pained
May carry that still with them
All the same
They whisper, "all forgiven"

Even though I'm likely not going to show it in this story, Melissa's classmates are genuinely hurt by her refusals to join them. They don't think she's doing it because she's a loner by nature, they think there must be something wrong with them. But they keep inviting her because they can see she's lonely. There are times I hurt other people and I know it but they forgive me anyway.

I hope I can one day write a story that doesn't have a happy ending, because there aren't always happy endings in real life. And even terrible endings can be bittersweet depending on outlook.

Thanks for telling me about Demosthenes. All I knew was that was the pseudonym taken on by a character in the book Ender's Game. That makes it more meaningful now. I haven't read your Demosthenes yet, but I will.

I've heard of Xenosaga and Xenogear, but buying and downloading new games are now impossible on my laptop because it's nearing max capacity. Don't you love games that have good storylines, and even multiple storylines? Like Skyrim.

Religious preaching can be done well, but I doubt I can do it - and people are sensitive about it. I can only speculate and wax pseudo-philosophical about it, which I often regret later. What I need to do is read more books. Hahaha!

Tori-Alice-8D:

Thank you for reading and for your comment! I'm glad people like this story.

[Eldridge]

Eld:

Thank you! It's so nice to talk to you.

Sure, as long it’s not PM I’ll be glad to. I… don’t find myself comfortable with that feature and I’m easily worried person to begin with. And I don’t like talking about myself except I’m the one who talk about that…  So any question related to that is impossible

I'm thrilled that you mentioned the power of words. Grammar is not so hugely important as coherence(though they are linked.).

Hehe, maybe that’s the benefit that you could get from being a Nerd yourself; I spent my time usually reading books that caught my interest. And I don’t get along well with my social group, mostly my friend far older than me like around 30-40 or Elders, which was odd. It was so fun talking with them as they have so many experiences that we never had and they’re quite reasonable person not like my teenage friend who sometimes make a little problem bigger than it should be with melodramatic effect.

Mostly I didn’t finish reading books though even people told me the books are good, because I am quickly bored at anything I do. That’s my weaknesses. But, when something catches my interest, I must finish it with all cost. I’m quite stubborn about that, which also works to relationship when I hate someone, I chose to hate that person all my life. I happens been through betrayal so much, I also happen being bully victim and I’m not easily trust someone because they act friendly toward me, my first thought just “what’s their motive?”

But not in online world though, this is the world that I free to be someone that I want to be. If they’re being good to me, why I should be mean to them? That’s my principle. I also cherish people who mean a lot for me, a little thing can be mean so much for some people, and I’m that some people. I’m the typical person that will be loyal to person as long they not betray me, if they do that I’d be sure not only erase them from my memories and I’ll also to make them suffer for eternity but my weak body don’t allow me to do that as I easily fall ill the most and spend my time resting at bed.

Oh, I’m quite paranoid so I always stalk people for information that I needed to see the truth for myself, but I’m quite reasonable person if I can see why, logical and understandable. You will be forgiven but not forgotten. Just like my favourite song from The Corrs: “Forgiven, Not Forgotten” and “Give Me a Reason”.

Oh, there’s a quote that explain me well:

Don't mix up between my personality and my attitude. My personality is me and my attitude depends on you. ~ Unknown

Stories can be good even if there are mistakes. It's those stories with unfortunate implications and major flaws in concept/execution that should be taken to task.

That’s good to hear. Thank you for saying that for me.

Google is a constant companion when I'm writing too. If only some published authors would utilise it. Groan.

Yep. That’s really useful tool, too bad that not all people can see the wonder from using that, in other word misuse or abuse the tool that we could seek for infinite knowledge.

And you said it: Learning is fun. Studying is usually not. I have a stack of books under my desk that I would love to absorb information from, through diffusion.

I couldn’t agree more! My studying method is through storytelling.  I don’t familiar with Diffusion method that you’re talking about, I have something on my mind but my perspective from yours could be different. Would you mind to explain that for me? I usually ask if I don't know, I don't want to be like some people who like know everything but in reality they know nothing

...somehow you just managed to pick out my exact favourite lines of that song too! 

And:

Those you've pained
May carry that still with them
All the same
They whisper, "all forgiven"

That’s also good, speaking about Forgiveness. Only the strong can forgive. Maybe I’m not strong enough to do that because of my hatred toward some people still bound me from seeking the peace that I needed.

Even though I'm likely not going to show it in this story, Melissa's classmates are genuinely hurt by her refusals to join them. They don't think she's doing it because she's a loner by nature, they think there must be something wrong with them. But they keep inviting her because they can see she's lonely. There are times I hurt other people and I know it but they forgive me anyway.

I can understand about that part, I also get the same feeling when my friend usually chose over their popular friend to spend with instead with me. They even break their promise because of that. They just say politely and I just said that was okay but deeply inside I was feeling hurt. Some people who experience that situation could understand it well without you even explaining about that.

I hope I can one day write a story that doesn't have a happy ending, because there aren't always happy endings in real life. And even terrible endings can be bittersweet depending on outlook.

I agree. Often when I create my story I always end up my heroine tragically, she always end up with many possibility of tragic situation after the happy one. Happy ending for me just found in Fairy tale and our world didn’t work like that. But, with your ability as writer you could create tragic one but still considered as happy ending. That’s the wonder of power being a Writer.

Thanks for telling me about Demosthenes. All I knew was that was the pseudonym taken on by a character in the book Ender's Game. That makes it more meaningful now. I haven't read your Demosthenes yet, but I will.

I still read on that book, I haven’t finished book one yet but I’m hooked after I watched the movie with my sister. That was amazing, awesome, so deep and meaningful. Oh, I didn’t mean to promote my other story I took that as the example.

I've heard of Xenosaga and Xenogear, but buying and downloading new games are now impossible on my laptop because it's nearing max capacity. Don't you love games that have good storylines, and even multiple storylines? Like Skyrim.

My sister already had that game so… I always loved stories like based on “Choose Your Own Adventure” style. Indie Games Visual Novel usually features that kind of storyline. I always loved something that give me something in return and not waste my time away

Religious preaching can be done well, but I doubt I can do it - and people are sensitive about it. I can only speculate and wax pseudo-philosophical about it, which I often regret later. What I need to do is read more books. Hahaha!

Yep, some people have their own limit, strength and weaknesses. I’m glad that you realize and chose not to do that.

I’m sorry if I take a long route before I read your story because you know real life is our first priority and I have list of stories that I follow well in this forum. Hope that you’ll understand and don’t feel discouraged when people not commenting yet, people always reading just look at you view counts, I always remind that to myself, CP. And it took a while for me to understand your story better. I need to read it over and over before I truly understand it, it happens for other stories here as well as I know you have something inside that you want to tell… hidden and beautifully covered with those beautifully selected word.

For the current story:

Food will always be banned in any school, I never know if there is any school that not banned in the classroom but some wonderful teacher maybe allow that.

I also loved how advice could be implemented through your story; especially about reading book well this could invite people to more reading, as word has power as hypnotism. They will not affect directly but that would be implemented in our subconscious mind.
Sometimes we need to limit the curiosity for ourselves, sometimes not knowing the truth is a blissful paradise. Curiosity also said could kill the cat, which that was an old saying. And it’s funny to know when you know more, the little that I know. There’s a quote about that but I forgot.

Ah, parents influence that also could affect her state.

War is good for nothing act to satisfy some people ambition and need for aggression Honestly I don’t know, because that’s a complicated matter for me as they are many points of views that we must look closely… The truth is not found in one view only. Why there must be a war when we can love instead?

[Luna]

I enjoy the development so far, so many aspects, so many point that I could get from your story. I’ll not point that out because I’m not like someone else So, I would like to see the point when Melissa is truly drowning and how she deal with that, those points would be interesting part.

Right like what Eld said. Comment would be taken a long time, if you’re lucky you’ll get one soon. I know as a writer it’s a joy when receiving comment but please keep posting, everyone always reading but not always have time to commenting because of real life business. I have seen that you using post with a quote alone and remove it once

Your story alone is great, look at so many views that you get just for two days. There are also unfortunate writer below you and your skills who create story but they didn’t have someone who even comments on them

[CPericardium]

Eld:

I've never used PM before, but it's a privacy thing, isn't it? Like if you don't want to embarrass an author with public criticism. I'm sorry if I can't write very long replies. Real life is in the way, and I'm not sure of this forum's threshold for long seemingly irrelevant conversations. But know that I do read the entirety of your comments.

It's fun to associate with people who aren't in your age group. I like talking to younger people and older people(one or two years older, because people in their 30s and 40s don't want to to talk to me. They think I'm a child.) Also my class is full of people who are older than I am. Kind of like Melissa, except I'm not gifted, it's that they are scholars from other countries.
Unlike Melissa I'm good friends with them.

If you ever hate someone, you don't have to be around them. But if you're not going to be around them, it only fits that you shouldn't hate them anymore. Distance and time. With friends, forgiving is the only option if you don't want to lose them. I'm the kind of person who never forgets anything ever, particularly the worst things. I read a quote somewhere, about how writers are terrible people. When they go to a funeral, they'll be memorising how it feels like.

Diffusion is the movement of gases or liquids from a region of higher concentration to a region of lower concentration until both regions are in equilibrium. Hahaha.

In my school(old school, I'm starting junior college next year) we were allowed non-messy food like sandwiches in the classroom when it was past 12pm, because recess ranged from 9am to 11.30am depending on day and class, and students crankily pointed out no one could survive till 2.30pm without food. Of course, everyone sneakily eats in class all hours of the day anyway.

I haven't watched the movie, but I will say that if you liked it, the book will render you speechless. It's that good.

Ah! I love Choose Your Own Adventures! Eventually all stories I write, this one included, become CYOAs simply because I like to write different outcomes for different choices. (Obviously, I don't post them.) Maybe I'll try to write a serious one sometime.

The war thing was a reference... to a Seinfeld quote "Did you know that the actual title of War and Peace was War! What is it good for?" ...which in turn referenced the Edwin Starr song ("War! What is it good for? Absolutely nuthin'!")
...yeah, I should just stop writing at 5am. My mind goes haywire. Or maybe it's the same. I'll never know.

Luna:

Thanks! I'm happy you're enjoying this. You're also not far off the mark there will come a time(in this story!) when Melissa is truly drowning. Figuratively speaking.

The comments I'm getting have been wonderful. It's enough that people are reading. I'm not worried about comments, because I know I'm guilty of reading stories here and not commenting. It's very kind of you to reassure me though. And well - I wasn't kidding when I said I was a grammar Nazi. When I notice mistakes in my posts I have to correct them. I'm probably going to do it to this post. The times you see me post with a large block of text in a quote are me accidentally hitting the reply button instead of modify.

I wonder if I'm posting too fast? I can't stretch it out very long. This story was originally supposed to be a single page.

[Luna]

Luna:

Thanks! I'm happy you're enjoying this. You're also not far off the mark there will come a time(in this story!) when Melissa is truly drowning. Figuratively speaking.

The comments I'm getting have been wonderful. It's enough that people are reading. I'm not worried about comments, because I know I'm guilty of reading stories here and not commenting. It's very kind of you to reassure me though. And well - I wasn't kidding when I said I was a grammar Nazi. When I notice mistakes in my posts I have to correct them. I'm probably going to do it to this post. The times you see me post with a large block of text in a quote are me accidentally hitting the reply button instead of modify.

I wonder if I'm posting too fast? I can't stretch it out very long. This story was originally supposed to be a single page.

Glad to know about that side, I thought that you worried over that thing. I truly apologize for accuse you while I don’t know the full story. I often find people who discouraged just because no one ever commenting and they stop posting stories and disappear just like that. That’s what on my mind when I saw you. I happen to be a silent reader all this time, and my purpose here beside enjoying story but support them, there are so many potential writer here and it such a shame if they stop just because they feel no one reading, but actually they are, we, the silent readers.

No, I love quick update. Just update it as soon as possible as I love to see more of people stories. Looking at new update always make me feel excited just to found out what’s coming next. Keep up the good work. You're awesome!

[Pam]

I've never used PM before, but it's a privacy thing, isn't it? Like if you don't want to embarrass an author with public criticism. I'm sorry if I can't write very long replies. Real life is in the way, and I'm not sure of this forum's threshold for long seemingly irrelevant conversations. But know that I do read the entirety of your comments.

The issue is having posts that are off-topic, which is against the Forum Rules.  This thread is specifically for the story and, while comments are ok, conversations about other things shouldn't occur here.  We have a Babble Thread if you want to discuss something that's off-topic here.

And congratulations on passing 500 views! 

[Eldridge]

@Pam: Oops, I apologize for that. Thank you for reminding us, Pam.

@CP: Well for the comments, I believe it’s all off-topic-related when I read up them all. I have no choice but to PM you. You’re doing great for the last 5 chapter and congratulations on 500 views and I can’t wait to see the rest and your upcoming story especially with Choose Your Own Adventure style. Go, CP!

[CPericardium]

Thank you very much Pam.

I apologise for having conversations about other things. Will avoid doing that in future.

[CPericardium]

Part 6

It was before one of her trips to the library that Melissa got her father to spend quality time with her. Her father’s taxing job as a biotechonologist meant that she only got to speak to him on car rides and early in the morning.

A little wheedling, a highly embellished description of the quaint cafe on the ground floor of the library had finally persuaded him to join her for lunch.

She was glad that her brother had band practice today and couldn’t tag along. First, he would monopolise their father’s attention with dense discussions of the economy and the military. Not that she wasn’t interested, but every time she chimed in with her two cents, they’d seize those two cents to start a new conversation about whether her idea was feasible or if Parliament would legislate it – all the while leaving her out. Melissa wouldn’t admit it, but being ignored felt worse than being alone.

Second, if she stayed silent for too long, the conversation would invariably steer to whether she had any friends yet. Theo found it hilarious.



“Melissa, do you need help with Bio?” her father asked, drinking from his glass of pomegranate juice.“I have tomorrow off.”  Normally on Off Days he would suggest a visit to the beach or park, but exams weren’t over yet.

They were sitting in a cosy, earth-coloured corner table for two, next to a painting in Chinese ink and a photograph of Twinbrook's skyline at night. It amused Melissa that she in just an evening she was more intimately familiar with Twinbrook's skyline at night than any photographer could ever be.

“No, I think I’m fine.” She had memorised the textbook and completed the past-year papers. That counted as fine, right? Right?

As soon as her order arrived, she took a moment to savour the aroma of the crêpes. Thin slices of smoked salmon, radishes and caramelised onions enveloped in a crispy, golden-yellow pancake, with thick melted cheese laving over the sides – exactly the way she liked it.

The moment didn’t last long.

“What are you studying these days?” Her father appeared to be enjoying the look of his key lime pie very much as well. She didn’t blame him. The soft, buttery, green filling, the zesty, enticing wedge of sour lime and the come-hither dollop of whipped cream could seduce anyone.

Can’t be as delicious as my crêpes, of course, she thought, happily digging in. This was why she loved coming here after borrowing books - it was a place of rest, free of snobbish fripperies, where her mind could be placid enough to mull over sweet, frivolous things like chocolate milkshakes and cherry cheesecake. “Nothing, right now – but the last chapter we covered was Evolution. Survival of the fittest, all that.”

That was enough to set her father off. He laid his spoon back down on the napkin. “You know the phrase ‘survival of the fittest’ should be ‘survival of the fit enough to reproduce’, don’t you? The common and misapplied interpretation is ‘fittest relative to the other organisms.” The allure of the key lime pie became too much to bear and he tucked in. “Wow, you were not kidding about this food. Darwin meant that organisms that weren’t always physically superior but better designed for their local environment would survive. Actually, his theory emphasised cooperation and interdependence between organisms, not competition.”



“Oh.” Melissa didn’t know that. Although she was certain that her textbook didn’t use his definition, she stored away that nugget of information. “You could go through Cell Division with me tomorrow.”

“Ah, my favourite. Mitosis and meiosis –”

“Tomorrow, Dad,” she interrupted.

“Right.” Returning to his pie, he looked perplexed, as if she had requested that he cease breathing for the next few hours.



She groaned, shredding a scrap of salmon with her fork. “My head hurts.”

“What do you expect when you’re running on three hours of sleep?”  He gave her a meaningful look – he knew about her Bible reading. “I heard from your mother that you’re going to Mass. Born again? Seen the light?”

”Went to Mass,” she corrected dully, and chased her next bite down with a gulp of lemon tea.

Mass had confirmed to her something she’d already considered: her interest wasn’t in any particular religion, but in faith. 

What had she put faith in?

Knowledge, for one. But why? Did it mean anything - knowing what the rest of the world knew? If she was going to set any kind of goal before she died, why was she content to be shackled by reality? Didn't she long to sleepwalk into another dimension and hear the cries of plumed birds swooping from the sky, a hitherto uncharted realm of warping pink skies and fields of dew-touched grass? 

She put faith in a question – a question she could not begin to articulate – that continued to linger in her head like a bad dream.

She had put faith in a star.

There she was, woolgathering again. She seemed to be doing that a lot, lately. She dabbed her mouth with a napkin. “I’m already Catholic. And no – no light yet.”

“You’ll see it,” said her father. “Being a scientist, it’s bad form for me to theorise anything to an absolute degree of certainty.”  His fork burrowed deep into the pie. “But I guarantee you’ll see it.”



~~~

A short interlude to tide you over while I get the next part ready.

[Eldridge]

Glad that you show the other side of her father, children should have time with their parents, and quality is more matter than quantity. I have---no it's off the topic. Every time I read people stories I learn something from them, including yours. I always learn how to use the words from reading your, and so much meaning just in one word which is awesome. 

Things make this story more interesting when I learn that she has a brother which means there must be something that related to this. I also---forget it. I agree with Melissa being ignored is so painful, it's like you not existing in front of everyone eyes---no, stop Eld. I think I fall in love with Theo name and her father is gorgeous! I love men who have facial hair, I just don't know why.

You also good with describing something and I love that part, I'm not good at describing something how people looks, how the animal looks like instead just with hair, eyes, body and skin alone and I even couldn’t describe how my home looks like

I also always loved when you implemented quote and paraphrase, I enjoyed this so much.
The thing that I know about science and religion, they didn't get along well.

So, I am craving for more. Hope that you'll publish it soon as possible, CP!