A Grim Proposition
“Aunt Deirdra, where are we? It’s a wasteland. No plants, no water…”
“I can’t see the stars. If I could recognise the constellations, I’d know where we are. But there are no stars at all.
“What are you playing at, genie?”
“I don’t think we’re in the real world at all. I think Aunt Deirdra’s brought us to
his world.”
“Oh, sorry, I should’ve introduced myself. I’m Sophia Silverman. And you are…?”
“Sam.”
“Well, ‘Sam’. I wish I could say I’m pleased to meet you but if you’re that genie’s nephew, you’re probably as much to blame as she is. And who is
he? The one who possibly owns this place. And, most important, how can I get out of here?”
“I don’t know. I’ve only just arrived, too – and Deirdra’s an old family friend, not my real aunt. But as for
him – look over there.”
“The Grim Reaper! Are we dead?”
“No, you’re still alive. I just asked Deirdra to bring you both over to my place. I get tired of chasing around after you humans.”
“But why did you ask her to bring
us?”
“Because you’re the last in your lines. Born to wealth and luxury, with ancestors who worked hard to get to where you are today. Then you both mess up as soon as you’re free to do what you want. OK, you’ve both had a rough deal in your different ways. Where did I put my hankie? But that’s no excuse. You need to pull yourselves together... So I’m offering you another chance. Start your own dynasty – see what it’s like at the other end of the line. You won’t have time to be bored or depressed, I can tell you that. And, just to keep things interesting, your family will have to start again from nothing at regular intervals. Let’s say, every fourth generation. Maybe that’ll stop them from getting complacent.
“Samuel, since I owe the Gooles a favour or two, I’ll let you start in Hidden Springs, where you feel comfortable. I’ve rewound time there to the day before you arrived. No-one’s even heard of Louisa... And before, you ask, no, you won’t meet your younger self. I’ll switch you on to a different track – although you might want to avoid your childhood friends for a while, until you get used to the idea that they’re now considerably younger than you and haven’t the faintest idea who you are.”
“Rewinding time? And creating a parallel universe? You can do that?”
“Oh, manipulating time and space is quite simple really… which brings me to my next point. You both know how these things work. Your families have been there before: challenges, collections, la la la... Same old same old. It’s just too easy, isn’t it?
“So this time, you have to work faster. I’m repossessing part of your lives. Call it a perk. I’ve indulged you lot for long enough. You’re going to be living in the fast lane now… I’ll leave you to talk it over for a while, shall I?”
“Wait a minute! What did you mean…? Oh, he’s gone. Sam, do you know what he meant about ‘Louisa’? The only Louisa I can think of is…”
“The singer, yeah. She’s my mum.”
“Really?
Annals is my all-time favourite album. Wait a minute; didn’t she say in an interview that it was based on fact? I thought she must have been on the herbs.”
“Mum doesn’t do herbs. Yes, it’s the story of my family. You see…”
* * * * *
“…And you were the little boy at the end. That song’s so sad.”
“Yes, I’m
Poison Boy. She didn’t want to put it on the album but I told her she had to. The song was too good to leave out. And it
is part of the story.”
“And
I was feeling sorry for myself. You poor thing. I think you were very brave to let her go ahead – but the song does have a happy ending.”
“Yes, it did, for a while. Maybe they're right. Maybe I do need to sort myself out... Anyway, that’s my story. What about yours? Grim implied that your family goes back a long way. Did one of your ancestors make a bargain with him, too?”
“I don’t know about that – although there is a story that my many-greats-grandfather Hank shook hands with the Reaper at the end and seemed happy to go, so maybe there was something going on. All I know is that it was a condition of his will that the firstborn child of every generation had to complete certain tasks before they were given the cash to get married and set up in their own home. I’m the tenth generation – or the eleventh if you count Hank and Pauline – and once I’d completed my tasks we were supposed to be free to do what we wanted. Except that I never seemed to get around to it.”
“I’m beginning to see why they brought us together like this. We have so much in common – and you even have experience of completing tasks. You really know how it works. All I had to do was be born…
“So what do you think? Go for it? A fresh start – but with someone you’ve only just met?”
“I don’t know.
"I like the idea of starting again but as you say, we don’t know each other at all – and if this is anything like the rules my family had to live by, we’d have to have a child almost immediately. There wouldn’t be much time for courtship.”
“Um, no. I hadn’t really thought of that. I’ve never even had a girlfriend before, never mind anything really serious. What about you?”
“I was engaged once but we drifted apart. I was too busy with my job, he said. I didn’t make enough time for him… He was probably right. That’s something I’d do differently if I had another chance.”
* * * * *
“Well, have you decided? I have three other couples lined up, keen to do this if you don’t want to – or to take over if you mess this up as well.”
“Yes, we’ll try – together.”
“Come on then. There are a few details to sort out; terms and conditions, that sort of stuff. Nothing unfamiliar. Then we’ll get you both to CAS. You could really use makeovers.”
“Who’s Cass? Is she a stylist?”
“No, dear. CAS is a place. A place where we can make some changes. I think you should be young again, Sophia – give you a better chance. You can both have personality tweaks if you like. And, of course, you’ll need to have your skills removed.”
“You’re going to erase our memories like you did to Grandmamma Ana? We won’t remember any of this – or our previous lives? I never knew her but everyone says Grandmamma was a bit odd: absent-minded and, well, eccentric, I suppose. Grandpa Joe always reckoned that was why.”
“Oops, yes. I’m really sorry about that. I always was clumsy. Fortunately, things have moved on since then. It’s not all about spells these days. Genie scientists have revolutionised the mind-wiping business. You’ll lose your skills but remember your previous lives and families. It’s just that you’ll be unable to talk about them except to each other.”
“Oh yes, our families. What about them? We never even said goodbye!”
“We’ll arrange for them to watch what you’re doing – but you can’t communicate. As you know, Samuel, the Gooles are effectively immortal, if they want to be. I can arrange for the same treatments to be available to your family, Sophia. If you make it to... ooh, let’s say… sixteen generations of descendants, you can be revived and we’ll have a big reunion. Maybe even a party.”
“
Sixteen generations? No, seventeen?"
“Yes, well, I don’t want to make this easy for you. I’m not the Big Softie Reaper, you know… "
"And what did you mean by 'revived'?”
“Oh, did I forget that part? You'll have to die so that your descendants can complete their tasks. Just think of it as getting to experience all that life offers. So, are you still up for this? Or should we call in the reserves?”
“I am, I think. Are you, Sam?”
“Yes. My old life wasn't going anywhere. I needed a change. Can’t get a much bigger one than this.”
“OK, then. Let’s go!”
Next chapter
