CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVENAs a forewarning, chapter fifty-eight is going to have an extremely major development and I'm going to deviate to my normal style of writing. Major bombs will be dropped, so prepare yourselves. Until then, enjoy the greatest bachelorette party to have ever been thrown in the world of Sims!
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Margrethe wanted to throw a bachelorette party, and there was no way I could deny her. Imagine the amazing shenanigans that an insane sim can pull at a wild party? Especially one with tons of juice and nectar involved...oh boy!
The partying started at noon, when Tatiana got home from work. Beatrix was about to leave for work, and Victoria fled the house to avoid the crowds. Though really, the only people I invited were Elisabeth's in-laws. Margrethe doesn't really know that many people. Alas, Victoria didn't want anything to do with it, so she went and set up shop at the fish hatchery. Jimmy and Gustav would be heading directly to the spa the moment they were done with work and stay there until it was safe to return.
Elisabeth, Tatiana, and Margrethe began the festivities by serving nectar, filling the juice keg, mixing drinks in a new juice bar that would get sold afterwards, and lighting a huge bonfire. Tatiana also set up a buffet table.
I thought I had locked all of the doors to prevent the guests from getting in the house, but I missed one. Beatrix wassn't going to be too pleased the next morning.
The first to arrive was Margrethe's step aunt, Kesha Dye. They had a short conversation in front of the bonfire while Tatiana and Elisabeth danced. Kesha's sister Tamra later showed up, as well as the Andrew family. LETS TAKE A MINUTE TO EXPLAIN THIS MESS!
Kesha Dye and Tamra Dye are the daughters of Melonie Dye, who dated Micah Groves (Jimmy's father) after her husband Salvador Dyed (get it?). This makes Kesha and Tamra Elisabeth's stepsisters-in-law and Margrethe's step aunts. Tamra is also Jimmy's ex-girlfriend. The Andrew family has two daughters, as well, Cheryl and Jodi. Garland, Jimmy's brother, is dating Cheryl, which makes her and Jodi Margrethe's aunts. Their mother, Kristi, is not considered related to anyone else in the family. Got that all? Good.
The food was left pretty much untouched and everyone dove into the nectar and juice. Kesha alone drank about three bottles worth of nectar before she got stuck in a loop of making drinks at the juice bar and drinking them all. Margrethe also gave a continuity nod to the story, mentioning that some nectar Beatrix made years ago tasted like feet (remember that whole spiel from chapter twenty-four?). I nearly did a backflip of excitement.
After a few hours, the party dancers showed up in some rather skimpy "military uniforms" and declared that they were going to do a full scale invasion of the party. This is where I facepalmed and said "Oh lord..."
Elisabeth approved wholeheartedly.
Beatrix arrived home from work. By now the party had been raging for about eight hours and showed no signs of stopping anytime soon. I was listening to "Tik Tok" by Ke$ha and, no joke, Beatrix walked in the front door just as she said "Now the party don't start 'til I walk in". Cue yet another almost backflip.
It seems Beatrix also approves of the dancers. Margrethe seems indifferent.
The party really started to get crazy after that. Everyone was starting to get pretty juiced and I had to bring out more nectar. The party dancers also took a liking to the bonfire and even took care of it for me! They kept throwing more and more wood on it, poking it, and one threw a test tube into it.
Because of this, Tatiana was able to step away from her duties of caring for the fire and drink.
Elisabeth began battle with her stepsister-in-law over who could drink the most nectar. Kesha finished her fifth bottle and I thanked God that there's no such thing as alcohol poisoning in Sims. If it were a thing then poor Elisabeth would be too busy saving lives to enjoy her daughter's bachelorette party.
At around ten o'clock at night, Victoria, Gustav, and Jimmy made an appearance and Tatiana made a toast to Margrethe.
Everyone gathered 'round as Tatiana drenched her granddaughter in fizzy nectar.
Well, almost everyone. Poor Kristi Andrew kicked the bucket right in the living room.
And yet, the party continued on. Even Grim hung out for a little bit before heading off!
The craziness shot all the way off of the chart as elderly Elisabeth helped her thirty-year-old daughter do a keg stand.
Margrethe: I bet you could do a keg stand all on your own, Loon! You did ballet for eight years and you're still a noodle!
Yeah, but I can't pull stunts like that anymore because, newsflash, I broke my back last year!
Margrethe: Oh, right...did you try applying carrots directly to your forehead while yodeling?
Victoria even assisted Tatiana with one, and these two are freakin'
ancient! They later began attacking each other with fizzy nectar, probably stuck in a loop like Kesha and the nectar (bottle number seven down the hatch...).
They say that once you hit a peak, the only way you can go from there is down. Here's Gustav with a demonstration!
At that point, everyone began to drop from a combination of too much juice/nectar and exhaustion. By now it was around one in the morning. Poor Jimmy passed out next to the toilet in the nursery bathroom. Elisabeth collapsed near the zen garden a short while later.
A few minutes later and Victoria was down for the count.
Margrethe went down with a spectacular finish at three in the morning.
It was five in the morning when everyone managed to find their beds. Elisabeth had a few minutes of clarity in which she was able to break out the sleeping potions. Everyone forced them down (too much juice/nectar'll do that to you), crawled into bed, and were back up and running within a couple hours. As they slept, I scrolled around and surveyed the damage.
Everything in the nursery bathroom was pretty much destroyed. The tub and shower were busted, the toilet and sink were filthy, and everything was soaked with puddles (and to think that poor Jimmy passed out in that!). There was garbage and dirty dishes strew across the kitchen, and the leftovers from the party began to stink to high heaven. Some buttface also went and broke the computer.
The bathroom in the laundry room was also a wreck, with a busted shower and puddles creeping everywhere. Victoria's bathroom was also a wreck, with broken plumbing and puddles. Laundry lay about haphazardly, someone started a really bad painting in Tatiana's studio, and the garbage disposal in the kitchen was smoking and crying for mercy because some idiot filled it with bad egg rolls. The bonfire died down in the middle of the night and the buffet table was so filthy that it needed to be sold.
I think it's safe to call it.
Elisabeth: Best.
Tatiana: Party.
Margrethe: EVER!!!
Now everyone needs to flee before Beatrix wakes up and sees the mess. Jimmy managed to make it to bed before everyone else really started collapsing, so he went through and repaired as much of the broken things as he could before deciding to go on a fishing trip. Margrethe and Gustav ate very fast and hid away in the sculpting studio, Tatiana left to go vandalize some warehouse, and Victoria went to join Jimmy on his emergency fishing trip. Elisabeth woke up to discover that some...I don't know a tame insult, I'm sorry...had broken her computer. Her face pretty much sums it up.
Everyone was at a safe location when Beatrix woke up and entered the kitchen. No other sims were harmed, but I'm pretty sure Beatrix ruptured a few blood vessels.
Sunday arrived, and the house was clean once more. Elisabeth took some time to tutor Gustav in logic, since he is now a middle school teacher and needs to know the skill.
Beatrix came home from work and hopped into the hot tub. Rub a dub dub, four immortals in a tub!
You have no idea how long I've been waiting to say that.
