Lethe Once upon a time there was an immortal dynasty that was very inefficient. This is it...
Teagan: Okay, apparently we're going to just skip right to showing off Lethe. I'm okay with that. She's adorable. But she's also a child and I'm not really a big fan of children.
Shannon: Which is why I, the family-oriented sister, should do the immortal dynasty spouse thing. But apparently the world is not as logical as I would like it to be.
Teagan: Exactly. Although I do think logic is terribly important to everything.
Reaper 2: So I was playing a video game the other day and now I'm not sure how much I like being referred to as a 'Reaper'. It had a negative connotation in my game.
Reaper 1: First of all, this is not a good time to be having a private conversation. Second, I would be surprised if you could find a game where a Reaper was a positive thing.
Reaper 2: But these were robot-reapers or something, not like us. We're good guys. Keep the world from getting too crowded, reunite dead people. It's a good thing we do.
Reaper 1: We're supposed to be helping Thanatos, not talking about your video games.
Reaper 3: Banana.
Reaper 2: So apparently this is Lethe and she's the first heir. She seems to be popular with her family.
Reaper 1: 'Lethe' is supposed to mean River of Forgetfulness or Oblivion or something like that, isn't it? So hopefully she'll forget some of the requirements and this whole thing can be over with and we can go back to our jobs and Thanatos can help out.
Reaper 2: Wow. She's just a baby in blanket. I kind of doubt we can tell me about her yet.
Reaper 3: She is a clumsy genius. Or maybe it was a absent-minded genius?
Reaper 1: See? There is stuff to be known about her.
Teagan: We renovated the house a bit again. Got a nice kitchen table. Except it doesn't match the house, so that's annoying. We'll either have to rebuild or buy a new table eventually.
Shannon: We're buying a new table. The house is fine. Unless it gets too maze-like and then it would probably be best to rebuild it.
Teagan: I just would like for everything to be closer together. It takes forever to work on my garden with the house like it is. It's in two rooms and two outside areas.
Thanatos: Lethe is so amazing! I'm sure she'll be much better at trying to finish all this than I am.
Teagan: She's a baby. And you're almost done with all that requirement stuff.
Thanatos: But she'll be better at it.
Teagan: Okay. If you insist.
Thanatos: Lethe! Yes, that is your name. I guess you're too young to learn to speak, but one day I will teach you to talk and then we can talk about stuff.
Teagan: Heh-heh, Lethe, my daughter, you are a part of my evil plan! Yes, my evil and brilliant plan called the 'Marry an Immortal Dynasty Founder and then get to be brought back to life at a later point so you get to live extra time to work on being an evil genius' plan. So... don't go telling anyone that, Lethe. It's between you and me.
Lethe: Gah!
Teagan: Yes, you are a good baby. And you'll probably look just like me! Maybe.
Reaper 1: So, Teagan is evil. Who knew?
Reaper 2: Everyone who knows what her major personality traits are. Which was me and Reaper 3 and her sister, apparently. Evil people do tend to be the ones who want to be Emperor of Evil.
Reaper 1: That's a good point.
Teagan: Money...
Reaper 1: I would also like money. In the form of a raise after Thanatos finds out that our job is awful. And his is really easy. After all, he gets to sit around be 'death'. We have to go out and actually collect people.
Reaper 2: There's a reason they do not describe it like that on the brochure. First, that's not terribly accurate. Second, it sounds very strange.
Teagan: Wait a second, I'm pretty sure someone is trying to keep me from enjoying my random wardrobe makeover during the last few days before I become an elder. Well, I don't care! Little fluffy sheep are just as good as fortune-teller... whatever that is I was wearing before. And this time I want a boy. He can look just like me.
Reaper 1: No... Lethe will have help... it's not fair.
Reaper 2: I'm pretty sure it is.
Reaper 1: Fine. It's going to get really tough anyway. Thanatos will never finish.
Reaper 3: I ate a panini.
Shannon: You are so precious! I do love you!
Lethe: Gah.
Shannon: Since I can't have my own of you - space constraints, being kind of about to turn into an elder, that kind of sad stuff - I shall treat you like my own daughter! And you'll become a wonderful and kind person.
Lethe: Gah.
Shannon: And I'll teach you to talk. Because your baby talk is very limited.
Lethe: Gah.
Teagan: For reasons only known to myself, I have decided to abandon the statue of my sister that I'm working on and test out this new thing that just popped into my head.
Thanatos: What?
Teagan: I shall call this the dip kiss! Although I don't think I invented it. Now excuse me, I'd like to go to bed.
Thanatos: Okay. I have to go to work now.
Teagan: Good. Make lots of money so I can buy new stuff. Such as room for my plants. And another crib. Maybe a table that actually matches the kitchen.
Thanatos: Okay. Bye!
Teagan: My plan is brilliant. I get to eventually come back to life, my daughter gets to be immortal. Yes, that is you, Lethe. My other daughter or son will get to do... stuff. My sister will not come back to life. I hope. Oh... what if she does? Then what? She gets all upset when I scare her or argue or do anything fun.
Lethe: Gah. Gah.
Teagan: You said two words! Lethe, you are a genius like me! Despite your being a child, I'm very fond of you. When you're grown up, if I'm still around, I'm sure we'll be friends.
Lethe: Gah.
Shannon: It's my birthday already? Wow. Yay! I'm going to get to retire! And cook for fun! And garden, which I don't actually understand why I'm suddenly working at...
Reaper 1: Hey, I wonder if we'll get to go collect Shannon and Teagan and any other spares? Are we assigned to that household?
Reaper 2: Hmmm.... Nope. At least the next one is Reaper 8's job. After that, it's a bit hard to tell because you never know when something might happened somewhere and someone has to leave their normal job to deal with a crisis.
Reaper 1: Yes. It would be nice if we could have more than one Grim Reaper work on something at a time. But no, only one at a time. So slow.
Shannon: I'm going to relax and enjoy my old age!
Shannon: Wait... no one said being old would involve back pain. Or maybe it was supposed to be clear already? Hm. Never mind. I will make being old the new young. Or something. I don't even know if that made sense.
Teagan: It didn't.
Shannon: But it made a lot more than you ever do.
Teagan: I make sense. Maybe you're not as smart as me.
Shannon: We're equally smart. That's what our parents said. Now, I'm going to retire.
Shannon: Hello? Forensic office? Yes, it's me, Shannon MacAnna. No, I'm not calling to talk to Mason Sackholme.
Teagan: Who's that?
Shannon: My partner at the office. Sorry, I was talking to my sister. I would like to retire. I'm an elder now. You can look at my birthday on my information I gave you when you hired me.
Teagan: So do you know this Mason Sackholme well?
Shannon: Please stop it. Oh, sorry. I meant my sister. I would like to retire. Okay, thanks!
Teagan: Does Mason have a sister? Because I think I might have met her.
Shannon: I'm retired! Time to celebrate! By finishing my paintings of you that will go in the Hall of Helpers so that later generations will not forget us.
Teagan: Is that what the statue of you is for?
Shannon: Yes. I'm attaching the hall to the back of the house. It'll be nice.
Teagan: Heh-heh, I get to stay an adult longer than my sister. I bet she's jealous. Deep inside. Maybe.
Shannon: I'm not jealous.
Teagan: Why do you have to be such a nice person? It's so boring!
Teagan: I am going to go to the hospital now. Because I know some people love to do the, 'I will have my kid at home' thing, but I am not one of them.
Thanatos: Wait for me!
Shannon: Okay. Go have fun. I'm going to cook and take care of Lethe then.
Lethe: Gah.
Shannon: I nearly forgot. It's your birthday, Lethe. Your mother and father may or may not get back in time to celebrate with you. We'll see. So I will help you blow out your candles.
Lethe: Gah.
Shannon: And we can finally teach you to say more than that, because babies are terrible conversationalists.
Lethe: Gah.
Shannon: Exactly. This is how you will blow out candles when you're older. It'll be really fun and you'll get to make a wish.
Shannon: Yay, age up little Lethe!
Thanatos: It's Lethe's birthday!
Teagan: Hi. We're back. And we brought my adorable new son!
Teagan: I named him Cerberus. Not really sure why... but he is adorable. I'm starting to think he won't look just like me, though.
Thanatos: Lethe and Cerberus are the most precious children in the entire world. I'm pretty sure of that. Although actually I've never met any other children.
Teagan: That's okay. I think they are too.
Reaper 1: You do realize just because that's what the majority seems to think doesn't mean its true.
Reaper 2: You are a really negative person.
Reaper 1: Well, someone needs to do it. And you're the nice one. And Reaper 3...
Reaper 3: Potato...
Reaper 1: Yeah. That's who he is.
Thanatos: Cerberus. Your name is going to be hard for you to learn. But that's okay. Here is your crib. Its nice and new and looks exactly like Lethe's. Except she has a skeleton teddy bear. You should probably get some kind of stuffed animal.
Shannon: Maybe you should just let him go to sleep.
Thanatos: Yeah. Goodnight, Cerberus.
Reaper 1: Now, that name is a bit... eerie.
Reaper 2: Wow. She definitely has Thanatos's white eyes. Its kind of scary on a toddler. But she is sort of adorable. In a black-and-white-and-kind-of-orange way.
Reaper 1: I guess so.
Reaper 3: I'm moving to the munchy planets.
Reaper 1: Sometimes the things you say make so little sense they actually make me think I'm losing my mind.
Reaper 2: So... this is a series of pictures of her wardrobe? She's a toddler. Toddler's do not care that much about what they wear. They're not models or teenagers. Or... whatever groups of people are alleged to care deeply about their clothes.
Reaper 1: Maybe toddlers do. I don't remember being a toddler but who knows? Maybe we did care when we were her age.
Reaper 2: As I have no way to argue that, I'm just going to let the subject drop.
Reaper 2: Hmm. I think she might have Teagan's ears. Because I know Thanatos has pointy ears, but I think hers are pointier.
Reaper 3: It's hard to tell until she's older.
Reaper 2: That actually kind of made sense. Or I said something completely insane.
Reaper 3: Maybe later.
Reaper 2: Good... good conversation.
Thanatos: Apparently someone sent her a doll that she already likes to play with.
Reaper 1: Oh. Not one of those things. They are so difficult to deal with sometimes. You know, when someone becomes friends with it, plays with it, it turns into an imaginary friend, and then they never make it real and they die. What happens to the thing? Did it go with them? Is it still around and no one can see it? It makes classifying them so incredibly confusing...
Thanatos: Oh. I didn't know that. This one is called Charon.
Reaper 1: Even it has a name. Guess who doesn't get to use their name? Me.
Reaper 2: You don't hear me and Reaper 3 complaining about it all the time. We knew we'd have to go by numbers when we signed up.
Reaper 1: Fine.
Thanatos: It is time... for Lethe to learn to talk!
Thanatos: Fire is a bright and warm and very awful thing.
Lethe: Gah.
Thanatos: No, fire. It's very bad. I'm not sure why I'm positive of that, but I am.
Lethe: Fire!
Reaper 2: Wow. That is a very reassuring first word.
