Ravenna“Shut up…shut up…get out of my head!!”
I bolted awake sweating heavily. Ayden sat staring at me with one eyebrow raised, “Another one?” “It’s nothing.”
I said without looking at him. He sighed, “When you want to talk about it let me know.” “I’m going to get some water.”
I left the room quickly. How could I possibly tell him I was still seeing the people I had killed? That I heard them laugh at me, curse me, tell me I was just as bad as they were. I knew that in those moments what I had done was the right thing. I had to protect myself. I had to protect those I loved. But somehow lately these dreams just made me doubt myself, and I don’t know…feel guilty. I started for the kitchen, but then suddenly changed course to my usual place when the dreams woke me at night. Looking in on Trinity, I saw her wound up tightly in ball as usual. Sighing I shook my head, “This has to stop…for both of us.”
I walked in, deactivated some lights, and sat in front of her. She didn’t move an inch, but I started talking anyway, “You’ve been having a rough time. Heck you didn’t even want to celebrate your birthday. I remember when you were a little girl you used to demand that you would have the biggest parties, and everyone had to come and adore you.”
She suddenly grumbled, “Yeah I certainly loved attention, and look where it got me.”
Smiling at completing my first task of rousing her, I pushed forward, “Yeah you did many interesting things. One of which, if I’m not mistaken, followed you here. Does he come every night? Tristian, I mean.”
She shot up, sitting up straight with wide eyes, “Do you see him too?!”
Smiling again as task two was complete I shook my head, “No. I see my own demons. For years now, the people I’ve killed come to me. While I’m awake, but mostly while I sleep. They haunt me. Ever since that night I came in contact with that blasted dragon cave…” “Dragon cave?” “Nevermind that. My point is I’ve spent all this time trying to figure out why I see them. You know, what I could have possibly done wrong. And I think I’ve realized something important, I’m haunting myself.”
She scrunched up her face, “I don’t understand.” “The only reason I see them is because on some level I feel guilty about hurting them, even though I know I had to. Killing someone takes a toll on you. That’s especially why I had to do it in the place of Snow back then, and that’s why I need to help you now. You got way too close.”
She looked at me with tears threatening to fall down her cheeks, “So what do you do to get it to stop?” “You forgive yourself and let go of anything you are holding on to.”
She made a sound that was half a laugh and half a sob. Standing, she turned her back to me, “How I could possibly do that? I can’t forgive myself when he hasn’t forgiven me. He will
never forgive me. And besides I don’t even know what I’m holding, what I’m supposed to release…” “I know a thing or two about being a twin, and believe me when I say that there is this unimaginable bond that will always bring you back to one another. As for the other thing, well, you’ll figure it out.”
I turned to leave the room. “Aunt Ravenna? I think I want that help now.”
I smiled, “We’ll start tomorrow morning.”
Task three complete.
TrinityI read the letter from home for what had to be like the hundredth time:Dear Trinity,
First I just wanted to say that we all miss you very much. I’m not sure how you will feel exactly about receiving this letter from me, but I hope you will receive it just the same. It feels like it’s been ages since I’ve seen you. Two years is a long time, but I hope you are doing well. Sebastian came back finally after the first year, but he refused to say much more other than that you were healthy and alive. Tristian is still in a coma…but the doctors say he is doing much better every day. Oh, the quads are seniors now. I can scarcely believe it! Per “ritual” mom and dad took them all out to buy cars. I don’t think the roads will be safe for the next few years, if you ask me. Eric and I have graduated from college, and have decided to get married. I wanted to wait, given all that’s going on with you and Tristian, but mom and dad insisted that we can’t just put life on pause forever. But I know it won’t be forever. Trinity please come. Please come to my wedding. I want you to be there. You are my sister. I believe in my heart that Tristian will wake up, and he’ll sit smiling that silly grin as I walk down the aisle. And you’ll emerge in a pretty dress and clap and throw rice with everyone. I’ve seen it, once upon a dream. Please help my dream come true.
Love,
Ariel I folded up the letter and sighed, mentally preparing myself for what I knew would be another grueling session. When we got outside Kamaria gave me a hopeful look, “Ready to try again?”
My mind instantly flashed back to our first session after I finally agreed to let them help me through my crisis. It was the first time I had come outdoors of my own volition. Usually they had to drag me out for regular intervals, so that I wouldn’t become vitamin D deficient. Kamaria stood before me while my aunt and Ayden watched from the side. “Conjuring is base magic privy to all witches, regardless of whether or not they have been taught properly. We will begin with you attempting to conjure an apple.”
I rolled my eyes, “I could conjure when I was three. Could we try something a little more challenging?”
She smirked at me, “You wanted our help. We’ll start here, so just conjure an apple please. An apple of great quality if you will.”
Making a smug face I held out my hand and produced an apple, but to my horror it turned out to be poisoned. “Wait…I’m just rusty. Let me try it again.”
She held up her hands, “By all means, go ahead.”
Confidence quickly fading, I tried again and again to produce even a normal quality apple, but each time the result was the same. Kamaria finally spoke up, “That’s enough.”
Holding out her hand, she produced a perfect quality apple instantly. I glared in envy.15 “Do you understand? Your apples will remain poisoned until you let go of dark magic. I will guide you back to the light, but you have to follow. The road won’t be easy. Now, are you ready to try again?”
Snapping back to the present, I looked at her with determined eyes, “I’m ready.”
As soon as I was alone in my cell, I fell to the floor and slammed my fist on the ground. Why were they always poison?! But I knew the reason, it’s because I was poison. It’s because I couldn’t let go… Like clockwork I heard him shudder into the room behind me. I turned to him begrudgingly, not in the mood to think today. That’s when I noticed for once he wasn’t giving me the cold stare. Instead he was looking off towards the letter Ariel had sent. Thinking about her dream made me cringe, because I knew Tristian would not get better in time. And worse, it was all my fault… Wait, it was my fault! The thoughts ran through my head so quickly, and I jumped up from the excitement. As if noticing my revelation, Tristian’s eyes flicked towards me with anticipation. I shouted at him, “Release you! Your magic? Your life force! It’s why you are not getting better. I never gave it back. I never let it go. Am I right?”
He held out a hand to me, “Release me.”
I took the fact that he wasn’t shouting at me this time as I sign that I was on the right track, “I’m not sure exactly how though…”
I was knocked out when Kamaria gave me back my magic. He just shook the hand he had extended. I looked at it warily, thinking of the last time I tried to touch him, “Do I take it?”
A final nod from him was all I needed. Slowly I walked over and took his hand. To my surprise, he pulled me into a hug. I closed my eyes, and drifted off into bright lights. “Trinity. Hey, open your eyes. I doubt we have a lot of time.”
It couldn’t be, “Tristian?!”
I opened my eyes, and found myself in a white room. Once again Tristian stood before me, but it was different this time I could feel it. It was really him. Somehow tears immediately began to make their way down my face, “I am so sorry! I don’t know how you could ever forgive me, but you have to believe me, I had no idea that magic was tied to life. Otherwise I never would have… I understand if you hate me.”
He arched an eyebrow and scratched his head, “Uh I don’t know Trinity, what can I say? Am I angry that you put me in a coma, and made me miss two years of my life…and swimming? Yes. I mean my muscles have totally atrophied, and I could have been training for the Olympics by now. But that’s exactly what I’d rather spend my energy on, swimming, not hating you. Besides, holding on to grudges and being mopey was never my style.”
I stared at him mystified, “I don’t know what to say…” “Easy. Say you’ll come to the wedding that you read about in the letter.”
I shook my head, “Oh no. I can’t show up there. I’m not ready. No one wants to see me there.”
He pinched me, “That’s payback for the coma, and I seem to recall you being personally invited by the bride. Now I do expect to see you there or I’m officially unforgiving you. Bye twin!”
Before I could shout after him, he was already gone, and I stood back in my cell. Kamaria informed me later that day that he had really woken up from his coma. The next day at our session I sat on the ground and thought long and hard before doing anything. I had to make this happen if I wanted to see my family, if I wanted to keep my brother’s forgiveness, and if I wanted to make my…sister’s dream come true. Tristian wasn’t the only person I needed to apologize to. And if I was going to do this, now was the time. I finally stood and looked around. Ayden gave me an encouraging nod and rare smile, Kamaria patted my shoulder, and aunt Ravenna stood glowing with pride. Of course that could also be the glow of her pregnancy. Taking a deep breath, I steeled myself, held out my hand and conjured the apple. Everyone gasped, my eyes widened looking around for answers, yet I received none. Only the sound of my frantic heart pulsed in my ears as I stared down at my hand in confusion. 25