Jamal: You didn't bake me cookies?
Mr. Smooch'ems: No, Jamal, the surprise I got you was a more sensibly ordered lot...with a proper toilet and everything.
Jamal: Wait, you mean...I get to
potty..OUTSIDE?!?!!?
Best. Day. EVER!!!!!
Mr. Smooch'ems: Umm, yes, you're welcome. Moving on, Jamal, you must go find a wife because...
Jamal: Okay.
Mr. Smooch'ems: Oh...well, okay then.
Jamal: Hi, do you know where I could find a wife?
Madeline: Well, cutie...
Or cookies. I'd really prefer the cookies.
Madeline: Umm...
Ariella: Hello, handsome.
Jamal: Are we in a cage? Is this a people zoo? Are animals going to come watch us?!?!?
Ariella: Goodbye, handsome.
Mimi: You may be the most handsome man I've ever met.
Jamal: Do you work here? I have complaints about your non-purple, un-French toilet paper.
(Voice of Mr. Smooch'ems in Jamal's head): Try sweet-talking a girl.
Jamal: Cookies are sweet.
Mr. Smooch'ems: No, I mean compliment a girl.
Jamal: Oh, got it.
Jamal: Howdy.
Becky: Salutations.
Jamal: Your hair is like a fire truck. See?
Becky: Eeewwwww! It hit that llama...
that was disturbingly cool.
Jamal: Your legs look like candy canes.
Jamal: I found the perfect woman!
Mr. Smooch'ems: Umm, Jamal?
Jamal: That's me!
Mr. Smooch'ems: She's only a teen.
Jamal: I was a teen once. I got over it.
...and then the casting director slowly picked up the phone, and he offered the role of Ghost Rider to...Nicholas Cage!!
The Crowd: AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
The next day...Mr. Smooch'ems: Jamal, you will need help to complete this dynasty...
Jamal: Abduct someone. Got it!
Jamal: Hi, you want to come live with me and my as-yet-a-teenager wife and take care of us and help raise our children while we start a dynasty?
Kirstin: Only if you can beat me at rock, paper, scissors!
Kirstin: Aww, man!
Jamal: I caught one!
Mr. Smooch'ems: Good, now we shall make usage of her generous contribution to our budget to build an actual house.
Jamal: A tall one?!?!?
Mr. Smooch'ems: Umm, sure.
We'll lay it out like this
and put it on stilts so 'tis a tall home for thee.
Jamal: Yay, ice cream!!!
Mr. Smooch'ems: Thou art welcome.