Late night, Crew Room, Bachelorette MansionBella: Ladies, listen up. We have a problem.
Della
(thinking): I wonder if there are any new episodes of
The Flipside.
Rose
(thinking): I guess you could say my window of opportunity's still open--no, you're fooling yourself. It's completely closed. Give up.
Bella: We
need to get something out on
The Bachelorette! There hasn't been a new episode in over a month!
Ombra: Hey, don't look at me! I've hardly been home at all!
Ombra: I should never have tried to take a full course of classes this term! Trying to put out a production on top of it is too much!
Rose
(whispering): Why do you need to be home . . . ?
Ombra: I thought the new laptop would help, but I hardly ever get it out, and when I do, it's rare I can get anything production-related done!
Della: Well, without you to organise us, what are the rest of us supposed to do? That's your job, to keep us organised so we can--
Ombra: I
know it's my job! The thing is, I'm shouldering all the work here! I don't see any of the rest of you doing anything--Della, always napping--Why, I'm staying up all night so I can--
Bella: Stop! It doesn't matter whose job is what!
Nothing is getting done! We all have to work together and fix this!
Ombra
(mumbling): Sorry.
Della
(voice catching): S-sorry.
Bella
(voice softening): We have to do something soon, we're losing readers, and no one is commenting anymore!
Bella: What we need is something to distract the viewers. Something to cover the fact that production has stalled.
Della: Yes! Brilliant! A distraction!
Bella: So, does anyone have any ideas?
(silence)Ombra: Oh! I've got something!
Della
(encouragingly): Yes?
Ombra: Well, Dextra--she's a fan of the show--posted on a fan forum that she wanted to know more about the bachelors' back-stories. I'm sure she's not the only one! Why don't we let our fans send in questions and have the bachelors answer them? That way we kill two birds with one stone: we give the fans what they want, and they won't notice that there are still no new episodes.
Della
(shuddering delicately): Horrible expression, but I take your point. That's a great plan!
Rose
(speaking aloud for the first time): Where's Rosa? I haven't seen her in the house.
Ombra: Nor have I, for that matter . . .
Bella: Well, never mind, never mind, Rose, you just focus on writing.
Rose: I've got some other papers to finish--
Bella
(sharply cutting in): Ombra, are you having Rose write your term papers for you?
Della: That's completely unethical!
Bella: Not to mention it makes no sense, she's got stuff to write for us and she isn't even doing that, what makes you think she'll quit procrastinating to do
your work?
Ombra: Oi! I've got enough on my plate, haven't I? Besides, delegating is what I do, it comes naturally--
Bella: That's not for your own schoolwork though, you're the one that decided to take university courses--
Rose: Well, I'm off to go write then--
Bella: Oh, we know you're going off to watch YouTube on your computer, you can't hide it from any of us--
The bickering continues but the camera fades out.Devin: Hello,
Bachelorette fans! I'm your host, Devin Ashton! Welcome to the Mansion!
Devin: Are you dying to know more about the bachelors that make you swoon? Well, here's your chance!
Devin: Send your questions for the bachelor of your choice to
[email protected]! Then the heartthrob of your dreams will answer your questions right here! Only on
The Bachelorette!Devin: Don't hesitate--ask now! This is your chance to connect with the stars!
Devin: Once again, I'm Devin Ashton, your host, saying goodnight and sweet dreams.
The Bachelorette
is back on! Check out the latest instalment here.
Thanks to Gwendy for the idea of having the bachelors answer fan questions. Please do not send them to that email address, as it is fake. Instead, post them here, and the bachelors will answer you! Thanks for your incredible patience at this unexpectedly busy time in my life!