Late Afternoon, the Crew Room, Bachelorette MansionDella naps.Rose is reading a book (as usual).Only Ombra is doing any work.Ombra: Ugh! Why, EA? Why do I have to wait 30 minutes to get some tech support? I could
walk to the nearest game shop by then!
Ombra: Twenty-five minutes.
(sigh)Rose: Rosa's coming. I see her Margaret Vaguester.
Ombra: She got a Vaguester? When? Aw man, why don't I get to have a car like that?
Rose: Probably because you're a production manager and not the producer.
Ombra: Oh. Right.
Rosa strides briskly into the room, looking slightly less than happy.Rosa: What's going on here?! Are you trying to break The Bachelorette? Get up!
Rosa: We need to get working!
Or have you forgotten there is a TV show we are meant to be producing?Della
(yawns, stretches): I'm up, I'm up.
Rosa: At least
someone is working.
Ombra: Yep, that's me. Always working.
Rosa: How's it going with EA?
Ombra: Not good. Nothing they suggest has worked yet. And now I have to wait another twenty minutes to talk to yet
another advisor.
Rosa: Well, take a break and talk to me for a minute.
Rosa: I appreciate all your hard work, keeping everything running smoothly.
Ombra: Well, trying to, anyway.
Rosa: How is everything else going?
Ombra: It's all right. We've got some really great locations lined up. Just about everything is running smoothly my end, except for the pervasive technical issues.
Rosa: Good, glad to hear it.
Ombra: In fact, some really interesting drama is shaping up between--
Just then, Bella enters.Rosa: Bella! Just the person I needed to see. How is everything in Public Relations going with mending The Bachelorette's image? With the technical difficulties, our ratings are dropping like crazy!
Bella: Actually, things are looking pretty good! Since Pam featured us on the Facebook page for the Network, we've been getting some new viewership.
Rosa: Mmm, good. Maybe we should offer tickets to watch live filming during the special segments later in the show.
Bella: I think that's a great idea. That's sure to drum up viewer interest.
Bella: Not to mention, we have some bona fide celebrities on the show! Their fans will certainly be watching, if only to see those bachelors compete.
Rosa: Good, good.
Bella: Their participation has encouraged other celebrities to participate too, in a secondary capacity.
Rosa: Wonderful!
Rosa: Come here, Della. Sit down, I need to talk to you for a second.
Della: Okay.
They sit down.Rosa: How many bachelors do we have now?
Della: Well, there's that proper bloke, Everette Dojo.
Rosa: Yes, of course! I still can't believe we managed to snag him. Go on.
Della: Well, there's the Duke fellow. Leopold Mountbatten.
Rosa: Ah yes, he mentioned the culinary arts. Something about a meal being the result of study.
Della: That's right.
Della: The chap that likes to take long runs on the beach, or something like that, he said.
Rosa: Yes, the Italian, Dominic Marcini. Okay, who else?
Della: That singer, Nathaniel Elysi. Otherwise known as "The Blue Fairy".
Rosa: I remember him. Isn't he Serena Elysi's uncle?
Della: I believe so, ma'am.
Della: Then there's the painter and martial artist Kenshin Daichi.
Rosa: I liked him. He seemed very respectful.
Della: Yes, ma'am.
Della: And finally, Talus of the Trolls.
Rosa: Troll? I've never heard of there being trolls before! Are you sure this is not some big hoax, like the Loch SimNess monster?
Della: Nessie is not a hoax, ma'am. And I'm quite positive Talus is truly a troll. I interviewed him myself.
Rosa: Well, all right then.
Rosa: Wait, what do you mean, finally? We're meant to have seven bachelors! I only counted six!
Della: We only have six right now.
Rosa: Why?
Della: Rose insisted on an even number, ma'am.
Rosa: You can't let Rose make decisions like that! She's far too neurotic! If you start letting her dictate everything, next thing we know we'll all be spending all our time checking sinks and stoves!
Della: Yes, ma'am.
Rosa: Just point out to her that with the bachelorette, we'll have eight altogether. That should satisfy her. Eight is her favourite number.
Della: Yes, ma'am.
Rosa: And get me another bachelor!
Della: Yes, ma'am.
Rosa: We don't want Pam to cancel our show, and it's a distinct possibility if we don't get this thing up and running soon. The show's prospectus says we will have seven bachelors, so seven bachelors we must have!
Della: Yes, ma'am! I'll secure someone appropriate right away.
Rosa: And as for you, Rose--can you put something together? Just anything to keep viewer interest while we're searching for another bachelor.
Rose: Well, I guess I could do
something.Rosa: Good. Glad to hear it.
Readers, please note: Pam gave me permission to use her name and image as network executive in this story. She is not really threatening to cancel The Bachelorette, so please do not campaign her to keep it on the air! Thank you.
Jump to
A Tour of The Bachelorette Mansion.