Chapter 127 - Second Chance "
I just feel like I've messed up everything in my life," I said softly, as the face in the mirror scrutinized me with dark eyes.
"Like what?"
"
My parents--I was so mad at Mom for going underground that I ignored her for the rest of our lives, until it was too late to matter."
"She understands," the face answered gently, "and you know, now, that it wasn't her choice. She was too close to telling you what you had to figure out for yourself. What else?"
"
Stephen. I was in love with him, and I betrayed him over and over. I tricked him, and I laughed at him, and it was only when he died--that's when I realized that there was no one to replace him in my life. Not Hasan, or Lionel, or Dave. He's the one I want to be with."
"That's the curse of the seventh generation, Liya. It just hit you worse than it hits most dynasty girls. If you had been free to marry Stephen, you would have married him, and then you wouldn't be going through this."
"
Well, what about my daughter?" I almost shouted. "
I have neglected her, and left her alone, and now she'll always remember me as the mother who wasn't there."
The face actually snorted at this, and at the sight of my expression it laughed even harder. "Nataliya, love, that's your problem. You've made mistakes in life, and maybe they were even worse than the mistakes that everyone make. But you're immortal! You say that you only realize these things when it's too late to matter, but it is
never too late!"
"Let me tell you something, Nataliya Elysi. I know your daughter as a sister. I know that she understands how you feel, and that she has forgiven you already. I know that she knows that you wish you hadn't made her be the parent."
"
Does that matter?"
"Of course it is! You deserve a second chance, and you'll have your second chance. Do yourself a favor, and go look at the wall. Right side. Try to see who else deserves a second chance, then help them out."
Closing the door behind me, I slowly walked down the hall. My footsteps echoed eerily on the marble as I took one step after another. First, I saw a woman wearing pink--just like me. She doesn't look particularly happy or sad, but something tells me that it isn't her.
It's the next one that makes me stop and look--a young man with red hair and an easy grin. To anyone else, he would look like the happiest person in the world.
But there is something else in his smile, a sort of sorrowful guilt. And I know, in an instant, that he was like me. Stepping closer, I read the name on one of the certificates:
Alexander Crumplebottom. And I know that, at the end of this, Stephen will give me a second chance, and I will find a way to give Alexander a fresh start. The girl before him is pretty--perhaps I'll be playing matchmaker.
I enter the Ambrosia room with a new lightness in my heart. I feel almost like I'm floating--as if the guilt has been weighing me down all this time, and now that it is gone I'm dancing on air. I have no regrets as I sit down to take the first bite of Ambrosia. Almost immediately, I am transported.
For the first time in years, I feel my parents' arms around me, throwing me up in the air and catching me, then cradling me close. The sound of my little xylophone, the soft fur of my teddy bear--and, as I grow older, water splashing against my face on the water-slide, ice cream melting in my mouth, pie on my mouth and nose and face, the excitement of my first scientific discovery, an excitement that only grew with time, kissing Stephen for the first time . . .
. . . holding Ilene Azokka in my arms during the day and Stephen at night, then beginning to stray--first with Lionel, then Hasan. Trying to be a good mother, and succeeding for a while, then failing all over again. Juggling the three men while flirting with everyone else, forgetting to eat or sleep as I bury myself in work . . .
Dropping my fork, I start to push back my chair. I don't want to relive this, or think about it--
Suddenly, I remember Ilene Azokka being born. The wonderful joy and energy that flooded my soul, condensing into a daughter who I can hardly believe is mine. I feel this again, only now the colors don't leave me--instead, they surround me in a cocoon of light.
My name is Nataliya Elysi. I have made many mistakes in my life. I have learned from them, and I will begin again.
My tattoo is a pink heart, tied with a black ribbon.
Once upon a time, when I was shiny and new, I was the light of my parents' life--and I knew it. We spent every moment of every day together, and when I cried at night they were right behind the door, ready to rush in. Even when I was older, they were always ready to drop everything and come play with me. We had water-balloon fights, pie-eating contests, water-slide competitions . . . I was never lonely or scared.
Then, as a teenager, I started embracing solitude--seeking it, even. I gave my parents permission to spend time alone, with Dad getting older and older, I devoted my life to science until science held no more meaning for me, at which point I transferred my attention to Stephen. As a young adult, I made Stephen fall in love with me, gave birth to Ilene Azokka, then used Stephen's love against him--he trusted me so easily that I had affair after affair. I tried to be a good mother to Ilene, and I must have succeeded at some point, considering what a wonderful young woman she became.
In adulthood, things only declined. Stephen started to fade away as just another guy I was seeing, then he actually passed away. I did nothing but work, and work, and work--I became a Power Broker, and felt nothing. I finished all of my requirements, and I felt nothing. It was almost a relief to be exiled to the basement, where you were not only allowed but expected to feel nothing. All of that remained until this moment, when I suddenly realize that I do have hope.
My name is Nataliya Elysi, and I am the Seventh Immortal.
