Chapter 61 - My Alien Stepmother Once I had calmed down enough to be a little embarrassed by my sobbing, Bianca told me all about how she had been summoned to an alternate Simverse and, being an alien, could make a spiritual foray into the Classic Dynasty. Of course, the signal had come from Rosetta Classic, who had been eager to deliver a message to me.
Dearest I.B.,
You've no idea how long I've been waiting for my watcher to deliver this letter! She was off being quite irresponsible in a Watcher city called New York. Now she's got red hair and a playbill signed by an actress who looks just like my granddaughter, Eureka! Emilia something ...
Anyway, on topic - my glee at finding that another little genius, coming up in an immortal family is my biggest fan has quickly made me your biggest fan in return! I've enclosed a star map with all of my discoveries for you and hope you will return one for me. While I love my family deeply, I honestly miss having another genius to converse with and with the recent departure of my great-grandson-in-law Orlando, I am now quite alone in this regard.
I want to extend my condolences about losing your grandfather. When my grandpa Camillo died, on my prom night, I thought my heart would never put itself back together again. I'd only just met my future husband and as sweet as he is was, Hiram has never been very good with emotions. Though I suppose I'm not either.
I was also prom queen, and also quite ambivalent about it! I admire your style very much. I have always been so conservative with my fashion choices and very much envy your flair. I must encourage you to bathe quite rigorously after your dip in unsanitized water, however. I am concerned for your health and hygiene.
I am planning, along with my granddaughter Eureka, to move to a small, supernatural town called Moonlight Falls when our dynasty is complete. There is much undiscovered phenomena to study and, for her, to use in inventions. Discovery versus creation and all that. We've always had that argument.
Perhaps you could come visit?
Anyway, I hope you write me back. Immortality is so very tedious and I miss both having students and having dear friends. I hope you will be both to me. I've chosen to divulge, for the first time, my middle name in this letter. Mostly because it is similar to the root of yours.
Much love,
Rosetta Camilla Classic
After several hours of involuntary celebratory spasms, I immediately began to write back, much to the amusement of my two mothers.
Dear Rosetta,
You don't know how excited I am to have received your letter! I have been a great lover of you and your work since I was a little girl, and knowing that you understand my frustration at having no one to truly relate to makes me feel an even deeper appreciation for you. Much of my time in Egypt was spent discovering stars, many of which I named after you, and I would be more than happy to send you a star map, although I fear my discoveries are meager compared to your great achievements.
Thank you very much for your sympathy. My grandfather was my closest friend and relative, and losing him felt like losing the most human part of myself. I have read your life story several times, at risk of sounding "creepy," and I am no better at emotions than your husband. However, I feel that my family, especially my parents, who I am currently on vacation with, are helping me through this difficult time.
It is so wonderful to find someone who finally understands! Everyone else is just jealous of me for winning the crown, and think I'm denying the "honor" to spare their feelings. To be fair, I do have far more clothing choices that appeal to my smart and nerdy sensibilities, with the recent University expansion. I was very thankful for my choice of the wetsuit, rather than a more revealing swimwear, but still must scrub myself free of bacteria if I do not wish to succumb to harmful infection. One predicament of my current stay in Egypt is the constant use of the shower by my newly wedded mothers, so I have very limited cleaning time.
How exciting! My mothers constantly discuss moving to Moonlight Falls themselves one day, once the dynasty has ended. However, Bianca told me all about the world she originated from, which is in an entirely different time stream and with very advanced technology, and I am very interested in settling there one day. Once you have relocated to Moonlight Falls, I would be incredibly excited to visit you and Eureka! She is my second hero--after you, of course. Perhaps we could do something similar to the Cottoneye family?
Throughout my life, I have fantasized as having you as a best friend and teacher, and just to be able to communicate with you like this is a dream come to life! It seems that, with our middle names, we are even more similar than I had always hoped.
Forever your biggest fan,
Iris Bianca Elysi. Once the letter had been sent, courtesy of Bianca, we all sat around the campfire eating whatever fruit grew along the Nile. I was much too excited to eat, but anything tastes good roasted over a campfire, even potatoes.
I rolled my eyes and good-naturedly complained as the newlyweds got a little frisky. Before this trip I would have seen this outbreak of affection as an inconvenience, but now it was all really quite sweet.
As festivity commenced behind me, I warmed my hands over the smoky fire and smiled to myself, feeling at one with the universe as the soft music of an orchestra floated through the evening air.
Bianca proved a true help and friend over the next few weeks. I find it difficult to believe that I never even considered the possibility of her being an alien--perhaps my jealousy clouded my intellect. In any case, her powers are immensely interesting.
She even demonstrated to me how she could use her mind to rewire the mechanism of a broken appliance. This skill proved invaluable in our vacation home, as none of us are allowed to learn handiness.
For fun, while Mother was asleep we drove out to the base camp. I took notes while Bianca summoned a meteor! It was most exciting, and scientifically enlightening. No one was hurt, of course.
My mothers were surprisingly discreet about their Woohoo, which occurred every night, morning, and often at some point in the afternoon. I still don't understand this primal urge, but at least they don't discuss it in front of me.
I preferred solitude over the vacation to hone my logic and attempt the Egyptian tournament. I soon gave up on this, since opponents took entire days to reach our vacation home.
Since Bianca's lifetime wish is to become a master mixologist, she spends her afternoons practicing various drink combinations on Mother. I am not overly interested in drinking at my tender age, and resort to chips instead.
However, it is quite difficult to eat chips when groaning, "
Ew! Get a room already!"
They don't exactly require my encouragement.
Bianca did allow me to test one of her concoctions at one point, but I fear the experience quite spoiled me for drinking in the future. I'd prefer water, if you don't mind--it's far healthier and helps lubricate the digestive system.
I did not socialize with many locals during my stay, as young unmarried people like myself are known to be sucked into marriage and children while in a foreign country. I did happen to notice that the maid was somewhat handsome, but Mother says French maids have a much more alluring uniform.
One very nice thing about living with Bianca is that she constantly helps boost my various motives as I recharge my energy. She jokes that it makes her feel needed--and I will need lots of sleep tonight. We only have 3 more days in Egypt, and Mother recently ordered a waterslide and karaoke machine, which does not bode well.
