Author Topic: The Churchill Chronicles  (Read 152757 times)

Offline Asleep

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The Churchill Chronicles
« on: July 03, 2010, 10:49:37 PM »
Just as a note before I start, this story will:

. Not have pictures. I have advanced too far in this family for me to retrace my steps. I'm sorry.

. Have dialogue. It's the way I'm most comfortable writing, and in my opinion it makes the story more interesting.

. Possibly have a bunch of grammatical errors. The T key on this computer doesn't always work, and I'm kind of a bad typer anyway.

Okay! Down to brass tacks!

And so it begins...
       Amanda Davenport sat on her parents living room couch, looking at the want adds, for someone who wanted a roommate. She had visited several, but none had tickled her fancy. The first one was a slobby, punk rocker wannabe. Strike one. The next one was a very nice young woman, but was providing a home to four toddler orphans. Strike two. The third one was the town's womanizer. Strike three.
      "If this one here doesn't work," thought Amanda, "I'm just going to have to live with my parents until I get married." With a sight, she got in her parents car and drove up the the address of her last option.
       The house was a nice, red roofed, two bedroom, two storied house, out in the middle of nowhere. The owner was and old woman, heavyset and in her 60's or 70's, with grey hair and wrinkles, who introduced herself as Jenna Warden. She seemed a tad on the loopy side, and almost as slobby as the first option, but she seemed nice, made a good bargain, and it was a nice house. Only about a week after she moved in did Amanda Realize that there was more to that house than what meets the eye...
~To be continued~


Please give me your opinion!  ;D
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Offline TollingBells

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Re: The Churchill Legacy
« Reply #1 on: August 24, 2010, 01:21:10 AM »
I like the story, thus far, but you should make a full chapter of shorts...This is enticing, but there's nothing more beyond the last sentence to draw them in. I'd have had one strange thing happen, then cut it off for a cliff hanger.
You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew, what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

-Katy Perry, Fireworks



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Offline Asleep

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Re: The Churchill Legacy- Chapter 2
« Reply #2 on: August 24, 2010, 08:24:07 PM »
I like the story, thus far, but you should make a full chapter of shorts...This is enticing, but there's nothing more beyond the last sentence to draw them in. I'd have had one strange thing happen, then cut it off for a cliff hanger.
Sorry. I only had like fifteen minutes left on my account, so I had to cut it short. Anyway, part two.

   "There they are again," thought Amanda, "those footsteps..." She had been hearing them for the past two days, and they seemed to come from far below the house. "You'd think I'd be asleep after all that martial arts practice I did today." she thought. but the sound of those quiet footsteps was keeping her awake. She knew it wasn't Jenna, as she could hear her snoring in the next room. With a sigh, she settled into a troubled sleep.
   The next day, Amanda was sitting at the dining table reading her book on Martial Arts Training, when she saw a section on meditation.
   "If you have meditated long enough, and achieved true meditative focus, you will be able to teleport anywhere."
   Amanda decided to try it, so she went up to her bedroom and sat down to meditate. She lost count of the hours flew by, but eventually, she felt completely relaxed and calm, and focused on where she wanted to go. Deep below the house, where the footsteps came from. Suddenly, in a flash of rainbow light, she found herself in a dark room. There were no windows, and as far as she could see, no door. It was furnished, with a bed, a kitchen and a bathroom, and looked like a two room house.
As far as she could tell, it looked like no one was here, but she noticed someone standing over her. When she looked up, she gasped. Standing over her was the most handsome man she had ever seen.

~To be continued...~

Another cliffhanger, sorry. I have homework and I'm tired, but I promise a longer one later.

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Offline samoht04

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Re: The Churchill Legacy
« Reply #3 on: August 24, 2010, 08:26:13 PM »
I have an idea where this could be going but I won't spoil the surprise for anyone else if I am correct.  ;)
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Offline Saltypaws

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Re: The Churchill Legacy
« Reply #4 on: August 24, 2010, 08:28:46 PM »
So far it is very good.  I like it too, because Warden is my maiden name, how strange is that. lol
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Offline Beddy_Boop

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Re: The Churchill Legacy
« Reply #5 on: August 24, 2010, 09:07:51 PM »
Likin' it! When she was about to teleport to beneath the house I was like "Omg, what if she suffocates in the soil?" lol :-[. But then she was in a room and I was like "Whoo! *wipes sweat from forehead*lol :D

Offline Asleep

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Re: The Churchill Legacy
« Reply #6 on: August 24, 2010, 09:19:47 PM »
Aww, thanks, you guys! Part three coming tomorrow afternoon, or later today if I'm feeling motivated.
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Offline Asleep

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Re: The Churchill Legacy- Chapter 3
« Reply #7 on: August 25, 2010, 10:54:52 PM »
Awright! Time for chapter three!

As Amanda stared up at the man before her, she felt millions of questions racing through her mind. "How did he get down here? Who was he? Where was she? But all she could do was stare at the him, thinking just how perfect, how flawless he was. Finally, she stood up and decided to ask him.
   "Who-who are you?" She asked, her voice hardly more than a whisper. "Why are you down here?"
   "My name is Raymond Churchill," he said slowly, "and I was trapped down here by Jenna Warden." Amanda gasped.
   "What!? I always thought Jenna was Crazy, but no evil! Amanda shouted. "Why would she do something like that?!"
   "For the very reason you said, she's crazy. But I thought I would spend the rest of my life down here, and never see another human face. It's very nice to meet you. What's your name?
   "Amanda Davenport" Suddenly, Amanda realized how tired she was. She would never be able to meditate in these conditions. How would she get out?
   "If you're tired," Raymond said, "You can spend the night here."
   "O-okay, thanks." Amanda said. She pulled off her shoes and crawled into the bed. It was an unfamiliar and kind of creepy place, but it felt even better than her bed in the house. Happily, she fell into a peaceful sleep.

A lot of dialogue, sorry, but it's a memorable chapter!  :)
   
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Offline Beddy_Boop

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Re: The Churchill Legacy
« Reply #8 on: August 29, 2010, 05:52:58 PM »
This is a really cool story! I cannot wait for the next chapter! Do you know when the next one will be out?

Offline Asleep

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Re: The Churchill Legacy
« Reply #9 on: September 05, 2010, 02:53:39 PM »
Well, I'm trying to remember what happened next...
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Offline Asleep

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Re: The Churchill Legacy
« Reply #10 on: October 23, 2010, 02:46:08 PM »
Ok, sorry it took so long, but here's part three. I had a TON of schoolwork, so finally, I holed myself up in my room, listening to "Hino Hino" who knows how may times, and did some serious writing! Enjoy~!
Chapter Three
Amanda woke up to the smell of apple pancakes. Which was odd, since her bedroom was on the second floor, while the kitchen was o the first. When she woke up, however, she was not staring at the creamy white paint of her bedroom ceiling, but a stone ceiling, that looked like something from the medival ages, or a basement. Basement... suddenly Amanda realized where she was, and all the memories of the previous night came rushing back to her. She climbed out of the bed, and walked over to Raymond, who was cooking by the stove.
"Good morning!" he said when he saw her "Did you sleep well?"
"Uh huh. Amanda responded. "So Jenna gives you food down here? I thought she was trying to kill you."
"Isolate me from the outside world and drive me to the point of insanity, yes. Kill me, no. Like I said the other night, she's crazy and mean spirited, but not a complete monster."
"...Oh."
 They sat down at the table and ate, and Amanda had to Admit, they were the best she's ever tasted. After cleaning up, she and Raymond sat on the bed together san chatted for a while. Amanda loved being with him, and loved him as well. Little did she know, Raymond felt the same feeling towards her, perhaps even stronger. For a while, they sat in silence, Amanda trying to gain the courage to tell him her feelings, until finally she said,
"Raymond, I've met a lot of guys in my life, and my mom's been trying to find me a husband ever since I turned 21. But I've never felt feelings towards any of them, but you... I love you Raymond, I really do." There was a moment of silence, and then Raymond said,
"I love you too, Amanda." and with that, they leaned in, and shared a kiss.

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Offline Asleep

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Re: The Churchill Legacy
« Reply #11 on: October 23, 2010, 03:16:44 PM »
Yup, two updated in one hour! Who'da thunk it?

Chapter Four
It had been a few hours since they had confessed their love to each other, and Amanda and Raymond were now Boyfriend and Girlfriend. But Amanda felt strange in the basement, it was just weird to be shut out from the sun, the trees, the rest of the world. So, she said,
"Raymond, I will always love you, but I can't stay down here. It's just not right, to live life trapped underground. I'm sorry, but I have to go." Raymond was quiet for a long time, and finally said,
" Alright, but let my stay with you while you meditate. I want to stay with you as long as possible, my love..." All Amanda could do was nod, her heart to filled with emotions to respond. She sat down, and meditated, while Raymond sat next to her and put his arms around his love. Hours past, and finally, Amanda floated into the air, surrounded by a lush, rainbow light. Raymond still clung to her, never wanting to let go, trying to make these last few seconds last as long as years. Amanda concentrated and knew where she wanted to, no, where she had to go, she did not want to leave either, but she knew she must. And then, she vanished into a cloud of rainbow sparkles. Raymonds shoulders slumped, and he felt a wave of sadness crash over him, threatening to drown him in misery. Amanda was gone. The love of his life, the light in the darkness... he placed his head on his knees and sighed, knowing that he would be doomed to live his years alone, in this prison...
      Meanwhile, Amanda appeared in her bedroom, feeling sadder by the minute. She decided to go for a run, to clear her thoughts. She took off running, having no idea where she was going. After a while, she stopped, panting, and realized her aimless run had taken her to the Old Pier Beach. She sat down on the sand, facing the seemingly endless ocean waters, unable to get Raymond out of her thoughts. If he's your love, you should be willing to give things up to be with him... a voice in her head whispered. Amanda gasped, and realized that was true. What a fool I was. she though sadly. I want to be with him, no matter what! She got into her meditating position, and finally was ready to Zeneport. She focused, and found herself in the basement room again. Raymond turned an faced her, and without a word, pulled her into his arms.

(Awww... what a cute chapter, don'tcha think, please give feedback, it took a while to write.)
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ladylaw1978

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Re: The Churchill Legacy
« Reply #12 on: October 23, 2010, 03:26:38 PM »
Very good and creepy. Just in time for Halloween.

Offline Asleep

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Re: The Churchill Legacy
« Reply #13 on: October 23, 2010, 11:22:08 PM »
Very good and creepy. Just in time for Halloween.
Eh.. creepy? How? That's not really what I was aiming for...  ???
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Offline Anushka

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Re: The Churchill Legacy
« Reply #14 on: October 24, 2010, 10:15:42 AM »
Simstar, renting a room in house where "nice old lady" has someone locked in basement is creepy. But story is interesting, and I enjoyed reading it. Can wait to see what will be next.

 

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