Part 14: Celestial Spheres[/u]
From the Personal Accounts of Aurum AlchimiaMy son returned from school in a state near tears. I tried making a few innocent inquiries, if perhaps the method of delivering knowledge was insufficient, or the material too easy…But that only seemed to make him more upset.
”…You really don’t get it, huh, mom?”
“Well, it’s true I’ve never attended formal schooling myself…But surely, they would not employ inefficient teachers.”
”The teachers are fine. It’s everyone else…” He paused, as if considering something. Tears sprang into his eyes.
”Or me. I dunno.”“What could possibly be wrong with you?”
He looked at me like I had said something very strange.
”…It’s like you’re on another planet sometimes.”That was all he had to say. I would like to find a solution; what I want is for him to be happy. But, as I’ve said…I don’t have any experience with whatever problem he is having at school. After the weekend, perhaps, I will go an investigate things myself.
But since an answer does not appear to be forthcoming, I cannot think up a solution...
All I can do is conduct studies on the local zombie population, and lose myself in science.
The distraction is relieving, at least, even if it isn’t leading to an epiphany. For one, it’s allowed me sufficient data to conclude about the manner of throwing most likely to lead to maximum satisfaction on the part of the experimental subject, thus resulting in the longest extension of time in which I can experiment freely on a guest. This was apparently something the local elixir-making society (I occasionally sniff at their claim of being alchemists, if this is their limits) demanded of me before declaring my skill….supermaxed.
All I must do now is wait, and ensure I have enough friends at the time I am an elder. That is all. I am pleased, with the satisfaction that comes with a job well done. But I am also restless. My soul is not yet pure enough…That’s what I feel. I don’t know enough. I’m restless. Well, I’m sure we’ll think of something to do.
As for Ferrus…
Despite his concerns about school, he’s at least applying himself. I’m relieved. Suffering may be brief, but knowledge is infinite.
Perhaps if he understands that, his good spirits will be restored? I can hope?
He’s helping Diane out. It seems she’s doing well enough that I do not need to intervene…But I may do so anyway. We’ll see.
Jaycen winks at me through the window as he sits down to dinner.
Perhaps he can help.
Aurum didn’t hear this part, but there’s fragments of the conversation on-record.”How was school, Ferrus?”
“...It…It was OK.”
“…OK?”
“…Ok. Fine. Good…I…I don’t want to talk about school. His head slumped forward.”Hey…How do you make people…like you?”His father gave it some thought. It had always sort of come naturally to Jaycen, without concern. He’d never been an exceptionally good person – just sort of charming.
Of course, that’s not what the kid was asking. That’s the trouble.”Well, you’ve got two options. You want people to like you for sure? You lie. You can’t be what everyone likes, you can only fake it… But…
What you get there isn’t worth it. I’ve tried; you can’t keep it.”
“S…So what do I do?”
“Heck if I know.”Ferrus blinked. This was not, he was sure, how fatherly advice was supposed to go.”I’m me, and you’re you. The people who like you…Will like you for the stuff that makes you you. The people that like you will be people who see what a brilliant, special person you are. Like I do.”Ferrus was not sure he wanted to be a special person, if it meant people didn’t like him. His dad examined that face.”Now, come on, kiddo. I bet your old man can school you at one of our games.”Ferrus smiles and runs forward to pick a videogame of his choice.
Whatever he said, Ferrus seems happier, talking about the debate of Videogames as art and what it says not about videogames, but what it says about art…
I will have to ask Jaycen what he said, and analyze it accordingly.
I hope things will go better…for both my boys. I feel much more assured, dealing with Stannum, than I did with Ferrus; the difference seeing a single child makes is remarkable. A triumph of empirical knowledge.
As the next day was Sunday, rather than staying in the house, the Dreamers took the children to our park.
Laughing all the while, Darleen pulled her husband from game to game as he squirmed in the light of the sun.
”He practically got a sunburn! Can you imagine that? Silly man; if he went in the sun more often, it wouldn’t happen!” She confided with a laugh, later.
And Jaycen and I took the time alone as a relief. Jaycen tried to assuage me as best he could about Ferrus… But I am not sure I grasp why children would be crueler than normal people; surely the greatest advantage lies in, if not kindness, than at least disinterest; having others to rely on increases your own chances for success.
Is it a matter of competition, an evolutionary drive to maintain position of best resources? Well, then let Ferrus conquer them all.
This is what I was thinking when Ferrus came to see me after his trip.
“Listen, mom?...I’m sorry I snapped at you. It didn’t have anything to do with you, honest.” He tells me.
”Are you…Mad at me?”“No.” Never. “I was just worried…I want you to be happy.”
“If other children wish to keep resources to themselves by diminishing your presence in the social group, then I would advise you not to try and seek their company. I have every faith…That you can thrive on your own merit.”
”…T-thanks…I think?...Yeah, thanks, Mom.”
Diane, painting in the room used by the other adults, seems to have hit upon a revelation about her life: a life spent pursuing her mother’s arts of painting and instrumentation, doing it as she pleases, without someone to hold her back ‘by the system.’
Her mother, meanwhile, is met with a difficult choice:
The “Stuffy” orchestra or the “Really mean and competitive” rock career.
In the end, she’s not driven enough by fame and fortune to be a rock star.
Things in our lives seem rather focused on the children right now; we adults are settled, our wishes mostly fulfilled, or, in my case, locked in a long waiting-game. It will be a long time before I find what I’m looking for.
All the same, we find time for each other.
The stars do not change at a rate that would cut me off from them. I can study them as often as I wish, for as long as my mission takes… And they will be the stars Darleen watched with her husband, giggling about tubas.
And they will be the stars I watched in my husband’s arms. This is a fact about Sirius, a certainty of Orion’s belt…These, too, are a part of my notes.
The next day was Stannum’s birthday.
He has his father’s hair and eye color…
And the difference between himself and his brother is an endearing contrast.
