Part 18: Acids and Bases[/u]
From the Personal Records of Aurum AlchimiaFrom what I understand, a certain amount of adventure has been occurring outside of the house. I have been rather absorbed in research, haven’t I? The time is drawing nearer. I musn’t lose sight of my goal. Not now, not so close.
While I know that the rest of the path ahead of me is long, but still: I will soon be done my part. Are you still out there, Father? Are you thinking of me? I appeared in the paper the other day, as a result of my ghost hunting work. Did you see it?
It was a conversation I overheard that made me realize that the world is going on outside of my study and lab.
”Ah! Now we’ll add some color. If love can’t bloom in Spring, we’ll make Spring bloom for love!””What are you talking about, Mom?” Diane sounded confused, but it seemed rational to me. Or, rather, it was within predicted Darleen behavior ranges. I’d hardly call these ranges rational, but the process by which I have determined her range of predictable behavior was rational, and it’s rational to expect her actions to be such.
”I’m talking about your first love! I heard aaaaall about it!”
She seized her daughter in an embrace, to Diane’s surprise.
”W-what? I never said – I – where did you hear about that from?””Oh, one of your little classmates was talking about it. We all do things to escape ennui. I play with dolls and listen to teenage gossip.” She beamed and squeezed her daughter tighter.
”Oh, but I knew it! You two are destined! It was chosen in the stars long before you were born, and you’re going to give me pretty orange-y grandbabies!”This appeared to startle and daze Diane, and send her back into the art room in contemplation. From Darleen’s response, I take it to understand that Ferrus and Diane have achieved a romantic relationship. This suits my plans perfectly…And it brings me some satisfaction, on a personal level.
My son inherited my troubles dealing with ordinary people, but if he can just find that one happiness…Surely that is enough?
Of course, this also means he is growing more mature. As I have been delaying my opportunities to take some samples for analysis for him to reach maturity, the time may be coming for my analysis to begin.
Of course, Ferrus isn’t the only son I have that’s growing up.
It was Stannum’s birthday. It was bittersweet, holding him for the final time. This blend of emotion, having been felt once before, was unexpectedly strong.
He grew up to be a lucky boy, more like his father than like myself.
After last time, we prepared a room in advance. He was quite pleased, and Jaycen and I were happy to see him so excited about his furnishings.
While Stannum goes out to play with the dog, I turn my attention to other matters: many of my relationships have decayed over time, and our bonds are no longer sufficient. I will attempt to remedy this situation, with the aid of a few potions.
I find a likely candidate for assistance in Yuna Tanner; for the next 7 days, I will try and acquire further relationships.
I overhear another conversation, as I steel up my personal resolve…
It’s at this point that, while Aurum documents this conversation, I find her touch here to be a little out-of-place. The words and actions are as she recorded; the meaning is my own speculation.
They’d spent the day avoiding it – the question of the dance. That day, the total frankness they kept most of the time was put aside. After all, what they had was a friendship that was unquestionably precious. What they wanted and what they felt – those may have been things that didn’t match.
Still, Ferrus found her in the living room, setting a booby trap… And he took his plunge.
”Diane… I realized something. The other night. Um, I know, I may not be, like, the ideal person to hear this from, um, but…
I really like you. Not like a friend. I mean, yes, you’re my friend. You’re my best friend. But…Oh, I’m doing this all wrong.”He fumbled there for a moment, and took a deep breath.”But, well, I guess what I’m trying to say is I guess I... You’re the world to me.” Diane took his hands in hers. In that moment, she felt her mother’s long plans and the world’s expectation. She saw the cheap romanticism of her life laid plain: the boy she lived with, spent everyday with, fell in love with in a school gymnasium to a backdrop of starry skies. The triteness of marrying your highschool sweetheart.
”Well, there’s kind of…Kind of a problem. Because. You’re not.”He didn’t say anything. He couldn’t. 
”I like you. I do. But the world is a big place. There are so many different people and so many different types of love. I want to experience lots of things. I want to be with different people. Settling for the first thing that makes you happy – that’s what the man wants!”
”I want to protest that sort of thinking – the ‘don’t rock the boat’ thinking, the ‘stay where it’s safe’ thinking… Because you do make me feel safe… The struggle was finding the right words, the right mix of love and regret, the right mix of sorrow and certainty. I…I couldn’t be a one-man woman. I’d make promises it’d kill me to keep. I’d break them, and you’d be hurt, too…
If I was your girlfriend-girlfriend, I’d just end up hurting us both. And that’s not cool.”She felt like she’d just kicked a puppy. This was appropriate – he felt like he’d just been kicked. The two of them stood there in an awkward, adolescent silence, until Ferrus at last said:”…But you like me?”She laughed.
”I’m *crazy* about you! You’re the most beautiful, gentle person I know. You’re – I don’t know how to even say it. I’m not saying we can’t have some fun. …If you’d like? That’s OK, right?”He looked at her uneasily and gave it some thought. On the one hand, plainly and simply, he couldn’t lose her. He’d said it, hadn’t he? She was his world. Because she was there, there was something “outside” that he wanted to see. Something that accepted him, something that understood him. There was something for him “out there.” Because her joy made him happy, because her lonliness made him lonely.
However…He didn’t know if he could bear it – the thought of her loving someone else. The thought of someone else kissing her. The mere idea of it sent him into fresh tizzies of worry. She was right. It would hurt.
He weighed those two back and forth until he couldn’t take it anymore, his insides feeling, as he might have put it, twisted.”…Yeah.”
”Yeah. It’s enough. It’s alright. We’ll just…Take things at whatever pace works. Hey, why don’t we make that museum trip our first date? You know, when school’s cooled down and all.”
“Yes, yes, yes!”She happily skipped away, leaving Ferrus to smile after her. Things were fine. He was going to be fine.
Given the rather intimate nature of the preceding conversation, I felt the most appropriate segue was to not address it at all, for worry of Ferrus’s fragile emotional state. Rather, I would distract him with a simple test of processing speed.
“Ferrus.” I then threw the duck at him.
He raised his hand to catch it before he was sure what was happening. Excellent reaction speed. Indicative a more conductive brain structure? I need more tests. I don’t have a solid baseline for this… I just felt he looked unhappy.
When I was young, my father would do tests with me, and it was always an exciting experience. To see how I measured up, to see him pleased at the collection of data… It’s one of those bonding experiences between parent and child.
”Mom?” He chuckles, I suspect involuntarily.
”What’s this about?”“A simple reflex test. You performed very well, though I admit I neglected my stop-watch, so my assessment is merely observational. However, you did not fumble the ducky and it didn’t hit you.”
“More to the point, I believe the time has arrived that your cells are mature enough to make viable test samples and get repeatable results. So I have come to collect – hair and skin will mostly do, but I would like a proper blood analysis, so I would recommend acquiring a cookie.”
”Mom, I’m not in the mood for your…whole science thing, OK?”
”I don’t feel like being poked and prodded, so just lay off.”“Science ‘thing’? Lay off?” I have been warned teenagers are stubborn, and often about silly things, but I was not expecting him to object to something so benign. “This is important research. Not just for the scientific community and the advancement of civilization, but for your own self-awareness and mine – don’t you wish to know? Your true nature?”
Here, it seemed that everything in his heart began to overflow. His voice rose, his face flushed.
”I’m sick of my true nature! I’m sick of – of never having things easy, the way everyone else does! I’m sick of always having to bend around to fit in, always getting things halfway, because I’m not human enough or strong enough or flexible enough. And you always – you never -- Did you ever really want a son because you really want a family? Or did you just want someone to be a test subject, to further whatever dumb research of yours you’re so involved with? Someone you could plug into your machines to learn something from?”…I cannot deny that one of the purposes in my producing offspring was to continue my project into immortality. But did I ‘just’ want him for this purpose? No. How do I explain this distinction? It seems difficult. I hold silent, looking for words. He barrels ahead.
”I’m not a machine, going through my days to fulfill some purpose of yours, mom!” Tears sprung into his eyes, those vivid mutations.
”I want to be treated like a normal person! I want…I want… I guess all I want… Is to be something I’m not.”He left me standing in the living room. I picked up the rubber duck in silence.
That’s a desire I cannot understand. However, if it’s something I can do…I believe it is something I must assist my son in. I will begin researching necessary steps and processes immediately. For all the sorrow my blood has caused him.
This will, of course, require successful sampling first.
