The Part Where Christopher Shows Up And StuffAfter Arlo passed out on the back porch, Drizzelda sat on the floor, thinking.
Drizzelda: “Stupid sheep. You remind me of goats. Stupid goats. Eating shoes and lynch mobbing my ancestors. Here, fall off this invisible cliff.
AIEEEEE! CRASH! I bet that cutie Arlo would hate goats. I’m gonna keep my eye on him.”
Agnes painting a portrait of Drizzelda, while Drizzelda brushes up on her cooking skill:
Drizzelda and Co went to eat at the Diner for an Opportunity, which she sadly missed the deadline for, but on the bright side, look who she ran into!
As much as it looks like the poor kid had to picnic by his lonesome, he actually
is there with his family. It’s just that his family left him completely alone at the table while they went off to talk to other people ten feet away. Poor, socially-neglected Arlo.
Thank goodness for Drizzelda and her friendly hugs.
There was also a break-in at some point. I can’t help but wonder what was going through this guy’s head as he decided to break into Drizzelda’s house. Did he even know it was Drizzelda’s house? Did he even know of Drizzelda’s
existence? Surely he must, the Paparazzi won’t get off her lawn. And if he did know, what made him think, “Hey, let’s rob this terrifying-looking woman’s house”? Is he
blind? Because on top of it explaining things, a blind thief sounds totally awesome. Like Daredevil’s ne’er-do-well twin, or something. Does he ever try to steal Stevie Wonder’s paintings, do you think?
Thievie Wonder: “What is that noise?! Is that what a Drizzelda sounds like?!”
Luckily, reinforcements arrived.
Thievie Wonder: “Oh, Bill, you’ve made it, great! Wanna help me carry what I’m pretty sure is a washing machine back to the truck?”
Who I Am Almost Positively Certain is Christopher Steel: “For crying out loud, Thievie! You know Bill can’t heeeeeARG! MONSTER! RIGHT BEHIND YOU!”
Drizzelda: “Well, that’s not very nice! It’s just Agnes.”
Christopher and Thievie then broke out into a customary round of fisticuffs.
Thievie: “I GOT YOU NOW, COPPER! Wait . . . hold on . . . Dang it, where ARE you?!”
Christopher: “Okay, ladies, the perp’s been apprehended. I’m just going to do a quick routine inspection to assess the damage and make sure he doesn’t have any friends lurking about.”
Darleena: “EXCUSE ME! What’s your problem, Mack?!”
Christopher: “Just routine inspection, miss. Say, are you part of a Dyna-”
Darleena: “Don’t you ‘routine inspection’ ME! Get out, you creep!”
The next day, Darleena was still upset about Chris’ rude intrusion. She thought that a day spent fishing would help iron out her stress. She actually did calm down a considerable amount, but when she saw
this, her rage flared right back up again.
Christopher Steel, but of course! Looking handsome in his suit while holding a kitten. He’s either gotten really good at this whole Most Wanted Dynasty Spouse thing, or he’s off to go deliver some one-liners as an English spy is dangled above a shark tank.
He put the little cat down, and took out his fishing rod. As he happily fished, Darleena’s blood boiled. Who did this guy think he was anyway? Existing and junk. After an hour or so of letting him be (she just narrowly got out of being grounded for breaking curfew), she finally snapped. She sucked in a breath and sprang into action.
Darleena: “Hey, Chrissy! I’m taking your cat, you jerk!”
Christopher: “Wait, WHAT?”
Darleena: “You heard me! Me and Snicklefritz here are gonna be tight.”
Christopher: “Her name is JUBEL! And she’s not even mine! I was taking her back to my grandmother’s place!”
Darleena: “Wow, look at all the cares I just don’t give. Stay out of my bathroom!”
Christopher: “Wait, that was
you? Oh, geez, I’m sorry! I’m such an idiot sometimes. Look, maybe when you age up I can take you out to dinner and make it up to you? And maybe join your Dynasty?”
Darleena: *waves kitten’s paw towards Chris* “Say ‘Bye-Bye,” Snicklefritz!”
Christopher: “You know, Arlo warned me about you . . .”
Agnes does not like that cat, and that cat does not like Agnes. They actually became mortal enemies, with little daggers in their relationship bars and everything. They just disagree on too many things. Jubel likes to scratch Agnes’ feet, but Agnes does not like it in the slightest, for example. Agnes likes a non-torn up carpet, yet Jubel can’t stand other people having nice things. In fact, not even Darleena gets along well with Jubel. The only person who does is Drizzelda.
Drizzelda: *from the other room* “Oh, isn’t our new kitty just
precious, Agnes?”
Agnes: “She’s attacked my feet five times already. Can we please send her back?”
Drizzelda: “Not after Darleena rescued the poor thing! Now let’s take silly pictures with it and e-mail them to all our friends!”
And here is Arlo, once again over at the Hideous Household. He hasn’t aged up yet, but this came as such a shock to me after Chris’ nice suit. Now you see, this would have been a perfectly fine swimsuit outfit if not for the fact that half of it is composed by what is either a sweater stolen off of Mr. Rogers with the sleeves torn off, or a blouse he borrowed off of either Judy or Lisa. Oh, Arlo, why do you do this to yourself? Or is there a general rule that was created after everyone saw your face and they didn’t want to take a chance looking at the rest of you?
Also, it was Drizzelda’s Adult birthday that day.
Happy Birthday, Drizzy! May all your birthday wishes come true.
Drizzelda: “I WISH FOR THAT CUTIE ARLO TO AGE UP ALREADY!”
He will in time, Drizz. He will in time.
