The Jones Random Town Jump: Complete

[Audren]

Farewell, Lucky Palms! I hope wherever the next move is that Curtis will be slightly more liked. (which shouldn't be hard. When everyone hates you, there's nowhere to go but up!  )

[JudesSims]

Oh, I wonder where they are going! The weddings were hilarious! Great updates, Ausette!

[Janna]

I read all of the stories and enjoy them even though I don't post that often, but what was said here was so funny that I wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed it. 
Looking forward to seeing where they are going and what happens to Curtis.  Somewhat hoping he does get better, but I will enjoy his story either way. 

[RaiaDraconis]

Well, it really is a nice-looking mesa...

You had me laughing out loud with this one. And I thought the Jones's weddings couldn't get any more bizarre than the one in Lunar Lakes! Er well, and the Arlo/Caity wedding where everyone was stuck in a maze of wicker chairs. I guess this wedding was par for the course.

I look forward to seeing where they're headed next! Greener, eh...hmm...Appaloosa Plains? Or maybe Hidden Springs?

[lepapillonrouge]

Those weddings were hilarious. Curtis...good luck in life. That is all.

[Louise56]

I lobe the updates! The wedding was so funny. I can't wait to see where they go next.

[Ausette]

Farewell, Lucky Palms! I hope wherever the next move is that Curtis will be slightly more liked. (which shouldn't be hard. When everyone hates you, there's nowhere to go but up!  )

I'm sure he hopes so too, Audren! He and Valentine are getting their own place there, so maybe he'll be nicer when I'm not controlling him.

Oh, I wonder where they are going! The weddings were hilarious! Great updates, Ausette!

Thank you, Jude! I'm playing the next town now, I hope you'll like it. 

I read all of the stories and enjoy them even though I don't post that often, but what was said here was so funny that I wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed it. 
Looking forward to seeing where they are going and what happens to Curtis.  Somewhat hoping he does get better, but I will enjoy his story either way. 

Thanks Janna, I'm glad I was able to write something funny  . Curtis might improve, but then again he might not. I like to base my plot points off what actually happens in-game, so we'll see.

Well, it really is a nice-looking mesa...

You had me laughing out loud with this one. And I thought the Jones's weddings couldn't get any more bizarre than the one in Lunar Lakes! Er well, and the Arlo/Caity wedding where everyone was stuck in a maze of wicker chairs. I guess this wedding was par for the course.

I look forward to seeing where they're headed next! Greener, eh...hmm...Appaloosa Plains? Or maybe Hidden Springs?

It is, isn't it! I've always loved the terrain sculpting in Lucky Palms.

Hooray, a genuine laugh! That's always the goal when I try to write comedy. I'm really happy I was successful with you  . I really don't know why I can't throw a normal wedding for my Sims! Heaven forbid I ever get married in real life. I don't want to know what the equivalent of a glitch or routing error is.

As for the worlds... those are both excellent guesses. I'm not telling you if one or the other is right though; you'll just have to wait and see!

Those weddings were hilarious. Curtis...good luck in life. That is all.

Thanks lepapillonrouge. I'll pass it on, lol. 

I lobe the updates! The wedding was so funny. I can't wait to see where they go next.

Thank you, Louise. I hope you like the next world just as much. 

[Ausette]

Chapter 63 – Glory Progression



And so the Joneses arrive in Riverview, a calm and pleasant farming community. We’ll join them in a minute, but first, a word from your friendly narrator.



Hi. I’m Ausette, and today I’m going to talk to you about story progression. See, there once was a time many months ago when Sims outside the active household were free to marry and procreate as they pleased. Even without our hands to guide them, they had a little spark of intelligence, and with that spark the capacity to build their own families parallel to our own. The world was rich and fertile, and ladies and gentlemen, it was good.



But one day, sometime around the Pets patch, everything changed. Our Sims, once so fickle, were suddenly incapable of independent action. There was no marriage, no children, not even a casual fling. Whole communities grew old and died without younger Sims to replace them. The only option left to these Sims was to flee town, which they did, and to be replaced by hordes of generic same-faced clones, which they were. The spark of intelligence had faded. Our favourite towns had lost their flavour. Entire worlds, once lively and colourful, lay still. Static. Stagnant.



So, what would you do about it? What can you do about it? Do you know how many pregnant women are in Riverview right now? ZERO. Well OK, what about premade toddlers? ONE. One! I ask you, where is the randomness in that? In the past I’d just make do like I did with Sebastian Striker back in Bridgeport, but I no longer have the patience for second best (sorry, Seb). I tasted freedom in Lucky Palms, real freedom and variety, and I am NOT going back to the barren and boring alternative.



That’s right. Starting today, I’m turning OFF story progression. And I am substituting my own.



No, not Twallan’s version, nothing my computer-illiterate self can’t handle. I’m simply “preparing” Riverview for the Joneses by hopping from household to household via Edit Town to establish a dozen or so pregnancies. Cheating? Maybe. Worth it? Oh Lord yes! It may not be as “random” as true story progression would be, but at this point anything is better than marrying the heir to Dmitri Ivanov by default. Will my game explode under the weight of all those Sims who shouldn’t exist? There’s only one way to find out!



Whew. Okay. So, the first thing that happens upon arrival is that Curtis and Valentine finally move out. Actually, the real first thing is that they adopt a whole bunch of animals to take with them. I’m really going to miss having these two guys in the household, so the least I can do is try to make them happy.



The second thing is that Bean officially becomes a Master Mixologist! He maxed the skill in Lucky Palms, so all he needs to do is buy a bar, which he does. I call it “Hops”. It's a frog-themed remodel of the local juice bar and plays Kids music all day to encourage the fertility of the patrons.



Yeah, that’s a hazard. Did I mention that almost every woman in Riverview is pregnant right now?



Yes, that includes our heir! With the household number back down to six, it’s time for Nectar and Gerard to make some babies and bump it back up again. We're in for a very full household this generation.



This is what the new house looks like, by the way. It’s called Collie Cottage to match the dog name theme of the rest of the street. I don’t have screenshots of the floorplan because they’d put me over the picture limit, but the house has five bedrooms, six bathrooms, a tiny gym and a large backyard. It’s actually kind of unfinished right now, but I’ll work on that as I go.



The sinks, for example, haven’t been made Unbreakable by Stella yet. It seems like they’re breaking every other day, but that can’t be right, can it? I mean, who could possibly be THAT rough with a sink?



*Gasp* YOU! You sneaky little caveman gnome, how dare you enforce your aversion of bathing onto others? I'm keeping my eye on you, little guy.



Speaking of little guys, Nectar goes into labour at home and gives birth to these healthy twin boys. I name them Preston and Travis. By now, all the other babies in town have been born too, so we already have the cast for the upcoming generation. Woo!



Nectar snaps back from the birth very quickly, and with her father at home to look after the kids she's able to snag an Acrobat gig at the remodelled Plaza Park.



Unfortunately, it’s a very small lot and I didn’t plan the addition of a stage very well, so there's space issues.

“Excuse me ma’am, could you please get off the stage? I kind of have to perform now.”



“Well, I don’t know about you youngsters and your fashion, but I don’t think that’s an appropriate outfit for a new mother to wear in public. I’m not moving.”

She really isn't, you know.



At this point I'm expecting a routing error or two, but no; instead, Nectar chooses to do the gig through Flo Broke. Wow, just look at the concentration on Nectar’s face! She must be really keen on impressing her audience, as small as it is.



“Tada! It’s a bunny that can stab you with her ears!”
“Bunny!”

Complications aside, Nectar wows everyone and lands a steady gig and income just in time for the twins’ birthday party.



“Of course I’ve prepared safety goggles and floatation devices! You can never be too careful when it comes to your children, you know!”

Just… let’s just get poor little Preston to the cake.



Here's what the boys look like as toddlers. Travis (left) is Athletic and Insane and Preston (right) is a Loner and Good. To be honest, if I had to choose an heir right now I’d probably go for Travis. Poor Preston got almost every gene I’ve been trying to breed out – the Twinbrook jaw, Goodwin’s mini-nose, and the unnaturally blue Striker eyes.



Plus, Travis has X-ray vision and can watch TV through the furniture. Who wouldn't want that quality in an heir?



Aww, I’m sorry! Don’t cry, Preston! I haven’t totally committed to that choice yet, so you might have a chance. We’ll see how it goes in future episodes of the Joneses.

[MissPlumbBob]

Your narration of EA Story Progression really made me laugh because it was spot on! Nice to see the Joneses in Riverview. I love your truly funny storytelling. 

[Gogowars329]

If it's possible, that could be one of the best chapters you've written yet. Hilarious. More hilarious than usual.

The house looks amazing. You really are a great builder. If Travis really does have X-Ray vision then that's a total winner.

[Turoskel]

I've been following your story for ages, can't remember if I ever commented before or not but I really love the way you tell it, It always makes me laugh out loud, especially the previous generation, Stella is definitely my favourite Jones so far.

Loved the story progression rant, so true! I can't wait to see this crop of babies grow up, Riverview is my favourite town and I hate seeing it get taken over by the clones, especially when I know the townies make such nice looking kids.

Wow that Twinbrook jaw is really genetically strong isn't it, never seen such an obvious facial feature on a toddler.

[hazelnut]

Your narration of EA Story Progression really made me laugh because it was spot on! Nice to see the Joneses in Riverview. I love your truly funny storytelling. 

Loved the story progression rant, so true!

Seconded!  Um, thirded.

Other things to love:  Bean calling his bar Hops and poor Flo with her multiple stabbings .

Is the house a remodel of one of the existing houses or did you build it to fit in with the others in the street?  It works well, either way.

[Trip]

The only thing I don't have to complain about EA's Story Progression is that it doesn't render my game unplayable due to freezing like Twallan's does. Hurray for unorthodox solutions, though! Townie babies make every game better.

Both toddlers are so adorable. Who's the little girl that Nectar is performing for?

[Janna]

I am enjoying reading the next chapter in your story.  I totally agree with the rant over story progression.  I have seriously considered seeding some towns with babies.

I love to play RV, so the only thing I can think of is that it must be quite a while before the programing kicks in, I love to create a sim and marry her to George Dean, gorgeous man and produces beautiful babies.
My children (I know they aren't really mine, but computer generated, but I think everyone understands) had no trouble in finding a mate.  There weren't a lot of selections, the firstborn had only three choices and one was a thief, other nuts, which left him with just one. She was his high school sweetheart, sorta, I don't have generations or ambitions, but  they did call each other often and went on a date.  It was after the third generation that I couldn't find anyone for them to marry and I had to bring in a couple that I had specifically created for such events.

Anyhow, I can totally agree and understand why you needed to seed the town, it is almost impossible to find mates for offspring.  For the five kids (surrounded by family LTW) I was able to find a mate only for one.  Very Frustrating

[Louise56]

I love how you describes story progression! I'm not a fan of generic townies lol. The twins are adorable.