The Jones Random Town Jump: Complete

[SimPenguin]

Hi - I'm a latecomer to the party. I spent the evening reading from the start and just want to say how much I enjoyed it. Your sense of humor is awesome and I anxiously await the next chapter!

[Ausette]

Hi - I'm a latecomer to the party. I spent the evening reading from the start and just want to say how much I enjoyed it. Your sense of humor is awesome and I anxiously await the next chapter!

Thanks, Simpenguin! I love getting new readers  . I'm really swamped with uni at the moment, but I haven't forgotten the Joneses and I can't wait to get back to updating after I've finished my exams.

[JudesSims]

As for being bored when I finish... Well, let's just say I have a few ideas. 

I can't wait to hear what those ideas are

[Ausette]

I can't wait to hear what those ideas are

Ooh, I can't wait to write them! That's something that has to wait until I've played through the Joneses, though. Speaking of which, I had a cold last week so I took some time off study and played almost up to the move! This is going to be another two-part chapter. 


Chapter 61 – Science and Seduction

Hey guys. Wanna see something scary?



“Eheheheh! Methinks this bed could do with a little… upgrade.”

Aw yeah, Mad Science fits Stella like an acid-resistant rubber glove. She fulfilled her lifetime wish about a chapter or so ago, but it didn’t seem right to announce her success until she topped the career and got her awesome magic ray gun of science. Anyway, I better get you up to speed with how other members of the family are doing.



Mandy also completes her lifetime wish, becoming a five-star chef. More importantly, she's given an amazing cryogenic fridge to keep our cakes and brownies in stasis until life as we know it ceases to exist. Forget the Twinbrook jaw, it’s those brownies that are making it to the end of the town jump. You already know those salads are going to outlive their creators.



Valentine and Curtis are going well. They’re very cute as a couple, spending a lot of time together at Curtis’s place.

“Hi boys! Make sure you behave yourselves, OK?”
“Mum, not now!”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Look, I’m sorry, but can you leave us alone for a bit?”
“Don’t use that tone with me, Curtis. I’ll be watching you.”

Well what’s the worst she could–



AAAAAAAARGH! Okay, they’re hanging out at the Joneses’ house from now on! *shiver*



And back at home, Bean has finally maxed his mixology skill thanks to Great Auntie Hope’s careful guidance. He’s even invented a couple of brand new drinks.



“Son, I know I had doubts about you, but this may the best party drink I’ve ever had in my life. I hereby declare your mixology training complete. Go forth from here as a wiser, stronger man.”
“Oh, thank you, wise mentor! What shall happen to you now?”
“Well, I have a few ideas. Specifically, what usually happens to wise mentors after all their successors are trained?”
“Huh, I don’t know! What does usually happen to wise mentors after all their successors are trained?“



Well, that. At least we can say that she passed away doing what she loved. (Hopefully not as a direct result.)



Rest in peace Hope Jones, and by extension, goodbye to Rudolpho. Hope lived to be a hundred and eleven days old, and she spent the vast majority of those days sporting a massive grin, a tray of drinks, and variable amounts of clothing. May she bust many funky dance moves in Sim heaven.



“Alas, all my cocktails are failures without my wise old mentor to guide me!”

Poor Bean takes the loss pretty hard, and it shows in a strange drop in quality in his work. He also takes to comfort eating, which is an issue considering his favourite food is…



“Is that… Frog’s… Legs? BEEEEAN!”

…Not met with enormous approval by his girlfriend. That is an autonomous action, guys. The dish was cooked by Mandy before Bean even joined the household.

Of course, that’s not to say the rest of the family isn’t mourning too.



“Waaah, I’m so sad I’ve got my hands stuck in my hat!”
“Eeek! I can’t look! Is it damaged?”



“Nectar, what’s wrong? Your hair is tickling my nose!”
“Oh Gerard, it’s just awful! My Great-Auntie Hope died this morning, and I came here to cheer myself up but you’ve gone and had a birthday and now I can’t kiss you! *sob*”
“Oh wow, I’m really sorry about that Nectar! Say, should you really be hugging me like that since I’m so much older than you now?”
“WHO CARES.”



Speaking of birthdays, guess what? It’s time for Valentine’s young adult birthday party! I’m not sure why Curtis feels the need to point and laugh at this development, although I guess it’s better than Aya Tanner’s reaction:



“Excuse me! This dying woman is blocking my route to the cake!”

Apart from that mild hiccup, the birthday party goes pretty well.



Valentine gains the Hopeless Romantic trait, which is sweet, and also picks up Animal Rescuer lifetime wish, because of course he does. I didn’t even have to go hunting through the menu for that lifetime wish; it was already in the five suggested options. Anyway, back to the action.



“Hello, darling! Are you enjoying the party?”
“For the third time, yes! Mum, can I ask you something?”
“Anything, sweetie.”



“Would you mind if I aged myself up early?”
“What? Why?”
“A few reasons. One, it’s best for me to wait until I’m an Acrobat before I start levelling my Athletic skill, and not getting to exercise is driving me completely insane. Two, all my friends are about to age up. Three, there’s this guy…”
“Oh, Nectar.”
“Yes, well, it’s mostly the exercise thing. So can I do it? Please?”



“Nectar, I don’t know about this. You’re still so young. You don’t know what it’s like in the real world yet. Are you sure you’re ready to give up school life and throw yourself into marriage and a career? You’ll never get those years back, you know.”
“Yes, I know.”
“Well, maybe if you get your grades up. We’ll talk about it after your brother’s graduation.”



How good is it to see such a big crowd of students! Valentine graduates with Highest Honour, Valedictorian, Most Likely to Get Married, and strangely flat hair.



Gerard graduates too, looking adorable and terrified as usual. Now really Gerard, what could you possibly be afraid of?



Oh. It looks like Curtis’s mum is here to show support. As sweet as that is, I think we better get Curtis out of that glitch-ridden hovel as fast as humanly possible! Move In! Move In!



And so Curtis Shaw joins the household. His traits are Absent-Minded, Loves the Outdoors, Hot-Headed, Inappropriate, and Vegetarian, and his lifetime wish is to be The Zoologist. His favourite food is Hamburgers – not Veggie Burgers, just Hamburgers. I honestly couldn’t make a better match for Valentine if I tried.

It also doesn’t hurt that he’s rather attractive. Oh, sue me. I gave him that makeover, I have free license to ogle him.



Oh right, I forgot to mention that Mandy’s Flirty trait has been a bit of a problem lately. Poor little Gerard never stood a chance.

“Well hello there, cutie. I love a man with an education.”

[Ausette]

“M-m-m-Mrs. Jones! I’m very uncomfortable with these sorts of advances!”
“You heard the boy, sister. Don’t you think it unbecoming to throw yourself at men like that?”



Mandy: “But… Huh?”
Gerard: “Thank you, ma’am! You’re Nectar’s auntie, right? You seem like a pretty nice person.”
Stella: “Why, thank you, child! It was my pleasure to help. Would you like to dance with me?”
Gerard: “If you’re Nectar’s family, sure!”
Mandy: “This is all wrong! What’s happening? Am I losing my touch?!”



And then Omar storms in to, of all things, Complain About Stella to Gerard.

Gerard: “But Mister Jones, she seems like a lovely lady!”
Omar: “NO! The woman is evil, pure evil! Save yourself before it’s too late!”
Gerard: “Oh? Are you getting her confused with Nectar's mother?”
Omar: “No, you have to believe me! My wife may be a bit of a flirt, but she's not half as bad... well, not quite as bad as Stella.”
Mandy: “*sniff* I really appreciate that, dear.”

And of course, the next (completely autonomous) interaction Gerard is subject to is:



Complain about Omar, courtesy of Stella. I think they had a disagreement earlier.

“You must not believe my brother-in-law’s stories, Gerard. Why, back in the day he was practically obsessed with me!”
“Wow, that explains a lot! Thanks for the warning, Ms. Jones, I'm going to you for advice from now on!”



And suddenly, the two are the best of friends. An unlikely match, but I’m starting to like it. I guess they must have a similar kind of Insanity.



I’m glad that at least one of these boys is making friends; it’s quickly becoming apparent that Curtis may not be the easiest Sim to get along with. By which I mean he’s ridiculously aggressive towards everyone except for Valentine. Ah, it’s just like having Lisa back again! The fun!



“Curtis?”
“You. Go and put some clothes on, and get. Away. From my man.”

I think he’s taking this town jump as an opportunity to burn some bridges and get all his unsaid opinions out in the open. Said town jump is probably happening sooner rather than later, because Nectar’s gotten her grades up and it’s time for the Joneses’ first quadruple birthday party!



That’s right, today we’ve got cakes for Nectar, Omar, Mandy, AND Stella. I’m not sure how Stella wound up the same age as her older sister, but who cares, look at all the candles!



By the way, I took the time to add some dressers to the park’s public bathrooms. Nectar is the first to get a makeover, and for some reason turns out to be really fun to design outfits for. She gains the Master Acrobat lifetime wish and oh for goodness sakes, you’ll never guess which trait she rolls. Go on. Guess.

Nectar Jones is now a VEGETARIAN. Seriously?! Another one? My current theory is that Curtis bullied her into it behind my back.



The freshly-eldered elders don’t get fancy CAS screenshots, but they do get nice new outfits as soon as they’ve finished aging up by the cakes. Yes, Stella is indeed an elder in this screenshot. Not a lot has changed, has it?

“Bahahaha! Did you forget to bring your clothes, Grandma?”



“Quite on the contrary, Curtis. Everything I do is meticulously planned. My choice of party attire was far from an accident.”
“Are you sure?”
“Oh, yes. In case you haven’t noticed, there is quite the disproportion of male Sims in this town.”



“So many birthdays! The sparkles, they keep ringing in my head!”

Uh, Mandy? That one's not a birthday.



Now that’s just heartbreaking. In case you didn't know, that woman passing away is Gerard and Bikini Woman's mother. Poor Gerry! I promptly send Nectar to comfort him and invite him to move in with the Joneses for support.



Gosh, he’s adorable. Uh, I mean his traits are Insane, Brave, Shy, Heavy Sleeper and Equestrian. Both him and Nectar graduate with the Most Likely to Save the World award, and his lifetime wish is to Become an Astronaut. Hmmm, somehow I think he’s going to struggle a bit in the military. This is for some reason the best screenshot I have to represent the Move In event. To be honest, I think I was a little more interested in happier goings-on elsewhere in the park.
 


“Will you be my Valentine?”
“Oh Curtis, I can’t believe it!”
“I know, I’ve been dreaming about this for years!”
“No, I mean I can’t believe that terrible, terrible line! You’re offering me a lifetime of THAT?”

Don’t worry, of course he accepts! And how does Curtis choose to celebrate?



By acting like a jerk, of course.

“Boooo! Nobody wants to see your polka dots hanging out!”



Well apparently Glenn Tanner does. Don’t worry; Stella would never cheat on Bean, it’s just that this generation of Joneses is unusually casual with romance.



For example.

“No, not the pyjamas! Anything but the pyjamas!”

I’m surprised Curtis didn’t start a fight over this, but then again he’s always had that little bit of extra patience when it comes to Valentine. The rest of the family is fair game, though.



“Why, you disrespectful little rat! I’ve got no idea what Valentine sees in you. What possible qualities could make up for an attitude like that?”



“How 'bout this one?”   
“Aaargh! Okay, okay, no need for a demonstration!”

The autonomous kiss strikes again! I wish I could say they never fought again, but Curtis is happy to continue picking fights and Omar keeps going along with it. Old age seems to have changed Omar a little. His Diva trait is coming out like never before, particularly around Curtis and Stella. Hopefully Curtis will get a chance to blow off some steam at his bachelor party.



Each groom gets a bachelor party on consecutive nights at Diamondback's. Curtis and Valentine are surprisingly well-behaved, so nothing interesting to report on that front. The real highlight of the parties is how into it Glenn gets.



“Ladiiiies!”
“GLENN!”

Like, annoying-the-other-guests-at-the-party into it. Glenn doesn’t care whose feathers he ruffles when there's nectar to be had! He even grooves out with the dancers for a bit, which is hilarious considering what everone is wearing.



“Excuse me sir, but those boxers are a fire hazard. I’m going to have to ask you to put them out.”
“Huh?”
“You heard me! We’ve been getting complaints from other guests. That outfit is simply too hot for this venue.”

Omar, being a respectable old sort, stays at home and paints peacefully by himself and OH YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME



VALENTIIIINE! You’re a fully grown man now; if you want a horse, you can adopt it the normal way! Poor Omar, I wonder how he’s going to react this time?



“A horse in the house? I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m off in romance novel land, where the skies are blue and the seas are calm and the only horses around are ridden by well-dressed couples on visits to the family vineyard.”

Huh. Well, I’m glad he has a coping mechanism now. He'll need it.

[Gogowars329]

It is going to be quite a flirty and mean and hilarious next town with this crazy bunch! So many flirts and fights in one chapter.

[Audren]

Oh goodness. Sometimes I forget just how wild a household can get. Then I read the Joneses, and I'm reminded of that all over again! 

[JudesSims]

What a crazy and hilarious family! Excellent writing, Ausette! You can sure keep me giggling

[RaiaDraconis]

Oh my goodness, I forgot how much I loved this family. The Joneses are insanity incarnate--and I don't think we would have it any other way.

It was sad to see Hope finally pass on. She was such a fun character.

[Louise56]

I love the updates! So much fun to read. Stella stay one of my favorite sims.

[Tiamet]

Wow, Ausette, what an awesome story!  Just read it right through and love it! 

[saltpastillen]

I'm so happy to see an update!

RIP Hope, she hung in there a lot. It seems like the next gen of Jonses will be as wild as the last. BTW, love the pic of Stella as a crazy scientist.

[lepapillonrouge]

I don't even know what happened, but I like it.

[Ausette]

It is going to be quite a flirty and mean and hilarious next town with this crazy bunch! So many flirts and fights in one chapter.

I certainly hope so  ! I used to prefer calm households, but now I can barely even remember them, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Oh goodness. Sometimes I forget just how wild a household can get. Then I read the Joneses, and I'm reminded of that all over again! 

Lol, thanks Audren  . The trick is get the right traits. My personal favourites at the moment are Flirty, Diva, Hot-Headed, Mean-Spirited, and Inappropriate. Plus Insane, naturally.

What a crazy and hilarious family! Excellent writing, Ausette! You can sure keep me giggling

Thank you, Jude! I always love making you laugh. 

Oh my goodness, I forgot how much I loved this family. The Joneses are insanity incarnate--and I don't think we would have it any other way.

It was sad to see Hope finally pass on. She was such a fun character.

Thanks Raia, they're even more fun to play  . I'll miss Hope too. It seemed like she lived way longer than her twin sister, didn't it?

I love the updates! So much fun to read. Stella stay one of my favorite sims.

Thanks Louise! Stella does seem to be quite popular, so you're definitely not alone.

Wow, Ausette, what an awesome story!  Just read it right through and love it! 

Thanks Tiamet, and welcome to the crowd! New readers always make me happy. 

I'm so happy to see an update!

RIP Hope, she hung in there a lot. It seems like the next gen of Jonses will be as wild as the last. BTW, love the pic of Stella as a crazy scientist.

I'm so happy to get a chance to update  ! I miss Hope, but I'm sure there'll be plenty of crazy Sims to come after her. I'm glad you liked the Stella picture. I thought it was funny too, especially as someone who may want to be a mad scientist herself one day.

I don't even know what happened, but I like it.

Lol, thanks lepapillonrogue! I'm glad I made a positive impression? 

[Beezy]

Yay! An update! A funny one too! 

Poor Hope, and wow...so many elders passed away...