First Day On The Job
Kelsey's Blog, Week 1, Day 3, 10.11amSo, fellow shark hunters of Carl and Pam's Sims 3 Forum (I need a shorter name for you guys! FSHs?), yesterday was my first day of my new job.
And let me tell you, it was a DISASTER with several capital D's.
I went to City Hall to apply to be a shark hunter. I spoke to a man, who sent me to another man, who sent me down a maze of corridors where I found a janitor with a trolley of toilet roll who told me I was in a staff-only area and called a security guard who threw me out of City Hall. I went back into City Hall, because shark killing is important!! and you can't not apply for a license because then the sharks wouldn't be defeated, spoke to a different man, who sent me to a woman in an office which smelt of cheese and then...
Well, anyway. Maybe I shouldn't tell you exactly what happened. It's long, and it involves ham.
In the end I spoke to a bloke who told me he'd never heard of shark hunting licenses. WHAT?! Everyone has! But anyway, he told me he had something very very similar, so I applied for that.
It's not my fault I didn't read the forms, he told me it was similar! Who am I to disagree with a man in a smart shirt?
But yeah. I'm now an acrobat.
I asked what being an acrobat entails and he said "mime a bit". So I went down in front of the theatre and mimed being stuck in a box.
The one bloke who came to watch COULDN'T EVEN WORK OUT WHAT I WAS DOING. I withdrew from him membership of the hat-wearing society.
Or I would have done. But then I fell over. It's not my fault anyway. It was the force of his confusion that knocked me over. Billy Caspian, we shall NEVER be friends! EVER!
It also hurt quite a lot. I'm going to write to the Prime Minister and demand that pavements be made out of bouncy castles from now on. That would also be good because then they would be stripey.
He did give me a tip though. Which was nice. But I still haven't forgiven him. I'm like a tarantula, I don't forget. Or wait, is it tigers that don't forget? Or donkeys?
I decided to mime it being windy next, to pretend that the falling over had been all part of the act. They look convinced to me, don't they?
By this time I had quite a large crowd of people watching me. Maybe, if I could mesmerise them by my amazing impression of being battered by the wind, it would work like hypnosis and I could teach them all to hate sharks too...
But then I fell over, so it didn't work.
Because I was the first one home, I made dinner. Salad. Mmm salad.
I asked Becca what she'd been up to all day. Painting. Why didn't I think of that? So many less bruises. But then, she wasn't conned by a man in a shirt. Conned, I tell you.
Before I move onto the other bit of news, the sleeping arrangements chez moi. We can't afford beds. But at least they're feathery. Which is important in a bed.
This morning Addison asked to meet me down at the end of the central island. I went, because it was either that or spend some more time pretending to be stuck in an invisible box. Which I'm not good at. Which is a shame as it's my job to be good at it.
She told me the first orphan would be arriving on Wednesday, and I'd have to take time off to look after it. Fine by me. I can give it it's initial anti-shark training and avoid falling over in front of Billy Caspian any more times.
I didn't tell her that though. She wouldn't approve and would give me a lecture about being sensible or something.
Instead we did this weird hand signal thing. Does that mean I'm part of a secret society now? YAY! I'm part of a secret society!
